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Okay, so my skin just sucks. My "moderate" acne actually looks severe now. I've got about 50-60 redmarks, about 7 or 8 active papules/ pustules and two cysts (one is the size of a dime). I have a bunch of pustules on my chest, and a few cysts on my back........Normally I wouldn't care, and I'd just go about my business.....go to work and whatever, but this is a bad week for my acne to get really bad.....

I can't say I didn't wish it upon myself (I'm trying to convince a derm to give me Accutane) but it couldn't have waited just a few more weeks........

I'm in a wedding on Saturday. I have no choice in the matter as far as the dress goes. it's actually a nice dress. Perfect color and strappy and kinda low cut. I have zits all over my chest and back.....and my face looks like I got hit by a mac truck..........I don't think any makeup will cover it at this point.......I'm gonna look so shitty in pictures and the bride is gonna be all pissed (she won't say she is......but I'm gonna ruin her pictures).....

Oh and the rest of this week sucks too.....I'm going to a seminar tomorrow in Newark. It the SCC (Society of Cosmetic Chemists) Spring Seminar and Paula Begoun is speaking. I get to meet Paula Begoun (the Paula's Choice lady) tomorrow and I have a face full of zits......

And the day after that I have to go into NYC for a meeting with marketing.....with a face full of zits.....

And in May I'm going to Boston for another Seminar......this is a big one and it's a few days long....I get to stay there and party (it's a very social industry).....but I'll have a face full of zits........

This just sucks......People notice it now.....I was at the gym and people I knew were looking at me like "what happened to her"

This girl got on the eliptical in front of me tonight and she had horrible acne.....just as bad as mine....She looked at me and instantly noticed my massive breakout (as I noticed hers).....she smiled at me and I smiled back......kinda like we both know how much it totally sucks.........

Last summer my acne was this bad, if not worse......but I didn't care as much because my main focus was not dying (agrressive and violent stalker situation).....I didn't want to go out in public then......but now I do.....I want to be able to enjoy this summer, since last summer was ruined by stalker boy........but I don't even want to leave the house, let alone meet Paula Begoun or sit through a marketing metting, or go to a wedding......or party with the suppliers in Boston.........

Okay....I'm done being a baby......just had to rant a little.........I'll stop whining........promise

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:comfort: That really sucks... I would normally just advise you to relax and try to de-stress, but it just doesn't seem too realistic with all those work-related events going on. It's nice that you have your boyfriend though, he seems like a really supportive guy (from all your past posts)- and it's a perfect time to use that support! Just keep reminding yourself over and over again that all of this will be worth it in the end (accutane!!), lol make it into a mantra. I think you're a strong person, I know if I were in your shoes I would've cracked a long time ago from all the anxiety. It's gonna be tough, but you can do it! :angel:

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Guest TylerD

Yup the important thing is not too stress out. What are you doing right now for your skin?

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Guest hopelessGuy

I can't say I didn't wish it upon myself (I'm trying to convince a derm to give me Accutane) but it couldn't have waited just a few more weeks........

How come your dermy won't put you on accutane when what you;re describing about your acne seems like you need it?

Mine wont put me on it, he says too much hassles and that I need to be registered. If anyone has been recently been placed on Accutane, did you have to go through lots of paper work and get registered like my derm says?

I think he's trying to prolong my visits with him so he can charge my insurrance...I don't have severe acne now, I'm clear but want to go on accutane because I don't want future surprise cysts and crap! Is that bad?

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I'm in a wedding on Saturday. I have no choice in the matter as far as the dress goes. it's actually a nice dress. Perfect color and strappy and kinda low cut. I have zits all over my chest and back.....and my face looks like I got hit by a mac truck..........I don't think any makeup will cover it at this point.......I'm gonna look so shitty in pictures and the bride is gonna be all pissed (she won't say she is......but I'm gonna ruin her pictures).....

I had the same problem, in a wedding had to where something strappy with cysts on my back and chest.

I shopped around at a few ladies places and found this great skin colour shimmery top to wear underneath. It was kind of a body sock type top, like panty hose but it had something in it that made it glitter.

I went to my now sister in laws house gave her the low down and she was fine with it, in fact on the day it looked so nice with the dress she wished all of the brides maids had them.

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Damn. I don't know what to say other than hang in there. Focus on the good in your life. This will all be part of the past someday...

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I honestly don't know weather it's still moderate acne or if its progressed to severe in the last week (it could just be a bad breakout).My lymph noseds are swollen pretty bad. Acne that bad is usually considered severe since the infection is making my lymph nodes swell........

How come your dermy won't put you on accutane when what you;re describing about your acne seems like you need it?

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accutane will clear u up 100%...soon u wont have to worry about this shit anymore...i used to think it was the major drug and yes it is..and i know it affects evreyon differently..but just to give u some comfort..th only side effects i had were dryness in lips, tiredness and a slight mishap with rectal bledding wich came and went...'all th bullshit' is nothing compared to the years of bullshit cystic acne can put on u physically and emotionally..so for me, it was worth it and im so glad i did it..

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I had the same problem, in a wedding had to where something strappy with cysts on my back and chest.

I shopped around at a few ladies places and found this great skin colour shimmery top to wear underneath. It was kind of a body sock type top, like panty hose but it had something in it that made it glitter.

I went to my now sister in laws house gave her the low down and she was fine with it, in fact on the day it looked so nice with the dress she wished all of the brides maids had them.

It really wou;dn't work with this type of dress......and I think she wants me to look like the rest of the girls....

I called her last night and explained my situation......She's so sweet about it......she says I should just use makeup and the picutres she can have fixed if it looks that bad........from far away it might not be that bad.....thank God im not the one getting married........Hopefully this acne thing will be over when that time comes.......

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labgirl nver replies to my posts..even when i was tenshi.. :hand:

This is just for you.........~CrystalEyes~

I will get Accutane. I'm making an appt. on Thursday (won't be at work till then). I put on copious amounts of makeup, and I look okay. The cysts stick out, but all the redness is covered up, and my eye makeup looks awesome.....

I blew out my hair....so it's straight....and the puffiness will go dawn in a couple hours if it's not humid today.....

I've got on a nice suit, and from far away I look not too bad........

Off to meet Paula.......

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ok..THATS GOOD TO HEAR..good luck with it..i never noticed your lil labgirl photo b4..ur a pretty chick..

my face reacted badly to every topical i put on my face..im on accutane now still aswell as diane 35. ive noticed by using jojba organic with avane thermal mist instead of moisturisers its made the world of difference..seems getnle is the key..

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well in ur sig u say u don't do anything for ur skin... maybe u should try some things like if u don't

wanna use bp or such try like aloe vera gel and some moisturizing lotion /aha in it or tea tree oil ... kindof do

the CSR regimen w/o the bp in it... like replace bp w/ a product u are comfortable w/... again maybe tea tree oil

... i think they have a spry or such now

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for some reason, i always love reading your posts! :D good luck with Paula...glad to hear youre getting accutane, it's been a long time coming! if you have to, do what tenshi did, and lie about trying antibiotics...even if that means trying a new derm.

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You don't want start taking accutane before all those events maybe? I mean, with initial breakouts you may have it worse.

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true...i guess i kind of think of it as the "the sooner i start, the sooner i finish and will be clear" thing. i assume taking it in the winter would be easier in the summer, so you dont have to worry about getting too burnt, or having to avoid laying out (which i LOVE!). taking it before a cruise probably wouldn't be too good an idea either...

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Lab Girl,

I always enjoy reading your posts. You are intelligent and have such a good attitude. We all feel your pain and I wish you the best with accutane. I'm going on it in about three weeks myself.

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Guest hopelessGuy

Labgirl:

Please let me know how that appointment with the accutane go. I am curious as to wether you have to go through all the hassles of paperwork and being registered for accutane as my derm has said. I still think he's prolonging my visits to charge my insurance.

Please if anyone recently been on accutane and had to go through bunch of hassels let me know also.

The Power of Christ Compels you!!!

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I 2nd Roxy's comments.

You seem like such a well balanced individual. Nice too :)

I hope you clear up as soon as possible.

Acne always rears it's ugly head when you least need it :(

GOOD LUCK.

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So it went well. I actually had lunch with Paula....she was sitting next to me at my table. I contemplated sitting at another table, because I knew how bad my skin looked, but collleuges of mine were psyched that the keynote speaker was sitting with us. So I sat right next to her........She asked me where I was from and what I did there.....I told her which company I work for and what I do (formulation chemist for color cosmetics....mostly foundations). She asked my if she ripped apart any of my products.....I responded ....."oodles of them.....and I love to hear it".........she though someone like me would be offended.....I responded......." I don't work in marketing....I don't make up the stories and dupe poor consumers.....I just do my job"

So we were eating in a very well lit room (skylights and windows everywhere), and my makeup was in major meltdown by lunch, so I was hiding my face with my hair (the bad side). She told me "get your hair off your face hun......your so pretty." Reluctantly I did, and she saw the bad side....Actually everyone at the table did.......there was no hiding it........

She asked me what I was using and if I had a derm. I told her I did and that I really wanted Accutane. She said...."well it's bad enough and if your an adult with acne like that don't even touch antibiotics, just go straight to Accutane". She admitted to everyone at our table that she did a course 14 years ago, when she was 38 years old. She pointed out her scarring under her makeup.....and said....."this was totally avoidable"

Paula has acne scars (mild ones).......

I didn't feel as bad having a fellow sufferer (a famous one at that) commenting on my acne.....it felt like just another person on this site.......I didn't care about my collegues at my table, because they had a few spots too......and were are mostly all scientists (real ones....not like my crazy Russian co-worker).....so it was a scientific/beauty discussion......with a skin care guru........She knows a lot about acne and skin care ingeneral.....and she totally has my respect both as a scientist and as a consumer......go buy her books (especially the Beauty Bible)........although she at one point does refer to whitheads as milia...... :naughty:

She opened her speech and mentioned the conversation she had with me at lunch (not about my acne), but about her ripping apart our products and how she was surprised by my reaction to her ripping apart products we formulated......we were all formulators or scientists and sales people from raw material companies........

It was a great seminar. I learned so much.....Another speaker gave me an idea and I may have figured out the cure to acne (well at least where to look for it).....and other thing for me to research....maybe for my postdoctoral research.

I'll post about it later......it's 3:00am here.....and I have to be in NYC at 9:00am.........

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