Jump to content
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

Hi all:

I'm Tara. I'm new. This site is great, I could go on and on; but I'll save that for another post. Acne has really messed me up. And I've been feeling sorry for myself for two years. About three months ago, I was put on Retin A 1%, Tetracycline, and a BP wash of 5%, along with monthly blue light treatments. I'm virtually pimple free, except I have some pretty ugly scars. Mostly red marks; one or two indented in my skin. My derm totally broke my heart when he told me that those marks will never heal. My mom and grandma don't believe him because they look so minor, but who know best? Your loving mom and grandmum who want you to feel better or the doc who gives objective straight up truth? Needless to say, I was torn up about it. I used to be very active socially and theatrically. But the marks on my face made me hide from everyone, leading to a depression where I used food to make myself feel better, leading to some massive weight gain. Fat+acne=one unhappy college kid.

It wasn't til recently I realized I can still go out and lead a fulfilling life. After I quit improv theatre and martial arts, I felt like shit. But then I think back and realize I had bad acne while I was doing martial arts...it just didn't have as much of an emotional impact on me as it does now. I talked to the derm and asked if exercise can aggravate acne--he said no. So what I need to do now is apparent: if I want to feel good about myself despite my acne scars, I need to get active. I need to stay active. I need to take care of my body and not value it for how it looks but for what it can do. "Once upon a time," I was able to throw a 300lb man (with a medium frame at 120lb). I was able to run for an hour without losing my breath. Exercise helped me become graceful, more social, and gave me the opportunity to create friendships not based on my looks but based on my heart.

For the longest time, I felt having acne meant I'd never be beautiful. Today, I saw a guy as handsome as can be; I mean really really cute. And he has acne. And I thought to myself, "Well, if I'm able to recognize this guy is seriously cute despite his moderate acne, then what's to stop others from feeling that way about me?"

I realize the reason for my depressive feelings toward acne was due to surrender. I gave up. Gave in. Let acne dictate my life.

Well, not anymore. I might have scarring. I might get more acne. So what? There's only so much I can control. I can control acne only so much. But I can definitely control my mood, my body, my mind, the actions I take, and the life I lead.

It's hard. And just because I feel this way now doesn't mean I'll feel like this tomorrow. But it's good to get these thoughts out there and share them with people who experience the same thing.

I found it so hard to respect myself with acne. We live in a society that is extremely preoccupied with looks. I'll never look like the models in a magazine or on a billboard. But no one will. In fact, a friend of mine is a model and though she has perfect skin and is very attractive, she is still in no way as beautiful as she is in her commercials and layouts.

If someone is going to look down on me because I have acne and some scarring, then I'm better off without them as a friend or a boyfriend. If anyone is going to look down on me because of something as superficial as a face of pimples or red marks, I have to wonder at them. And then realize, they have a problem. Not me.

Once my semester is over, finals and term papers are done, I plan on getting back into martial arts. I sort of feel like I've outgrown theatre--at least for now. I love it and all, but would rather use the time doing something more active. I also want to start running. A combination of private and social exercise is just what I need.

We have acne. And it sucks. The important thing is to control it best we can, but not allow ourselves to become a victim of it. We become victims if we stay in hiding from our friends and family. We become a victim if we allow our acne to dictate our physical and mental health. The way to fight back is to go out and have fun. Exercise is important; it gives us a surge of endorphins that keep us happy.

I've allowed myself to play victim for two years now. I'm sick of it. I'm not having any fun and my friends think I'm lame for never going to parties or bars with them. I'm hoping to receive as well as give support on these message boards. So yeah, that's me and my feelings in a nutshell. Hope you were able to make it to the end! :angel:

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for sharing your story :D being positive is a very strong key to overcome our fear and loneliness. only we can help ourselves because nobody can carry this burden for us. way to go Tara! keep up the good work! :clap:

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes