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Abby L

Adult acne and relationships

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Hi everyone. I am sort of new to this. I am 29 & suffer with acne & a lot of scarring. I feel like I am reading my own journal & life story through all these posts. I used to be a very pretty girl most of my life & then about 3 years ago I started getting moderate to severe acne. I have tried everything to treat it but nothing worked. I am very involved in my church & I used to have tons of friends. Now I speak with nobody, except my husband who is very supporting, & I even spend less time at church. I hate looking in the mirror, doing anything outdoors, or even meeting with anyone. I literally feel like I look so old & dull & marred. Also, my pores are so large & saggy now & the fuzz on my face seems more noticeable. I feel so desperate because I want to enjoy life again & I feel that I cannot. Thank you for sharing I really feel better. Most people I meet have good skin tone & great texture & sometimes I feel like a freak. This website has really inspired me & any suggestions & advice anyone may have I would so greatly appreciated.

God Bless!

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Hiya. I find it impossible to get close to anyone now. If a guy looks at me, I try to cover parts of my face with my hand, pretend I'm itching my face of rubbing my nose or something, so they won't see my acne! And then failing that, I turn away. Add this to the nervous laugh I get when people talk to me and the constant moving around so that they don't get chance to stare at my face of zits for too long, and you're presented with a weird freak! So if my acne doesn't put guys off, my bizarre behaviour will! I can't win, but I can't help trying to hide my acne the way I do. Its a vicious circle. <sigh> :cry:

I started getting mild-moderate acne when I was 15, and i'm now 16. Over the past year i've been doing exactly what you have been doing... It's so easy to relate to people on this board. Before I had acne, I was actually quite a wiz with the ladies and was very funny. Since i've got acne though, I can't even talk to women let alone tell jokes. I'm on my way to getting clear though, thanks to the CSR. Not only that, this forum really helps acne troubled people like myself feel better about ME. Hopefully i'll have my life back soon. The past year and a half has been hell and i've been really depressed at times. I've also skipped countless social occasions. :( The fact that i'm in high school and have complete knobs in my class, that actually tease me about having acne ( probably because they have never had a zit ) makes it worse too.

I hope everyone with acne finds their cure...

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I can't be bothered reading all the posts.

Yes i've run away from possible relationships because of my awful Back-ne. But hey! i love the bachelor life :) i've got all the dam time in the world to do absolutely everything i bloody want without being called selfish

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Hi

How many of you are single at the moment and do you find your acne makes it difficult for you to interact with people or meet new people?

I am 28 and often feel I let this problem hold me back.

What are your views? For those in relationship, does your acne affect it at all?

I feel like a cyclops! Every time I get a big zit, I feel like people don't look me in the eye when they are talking to me. I had a big zit on the tip of my nose and I SWEAR---everyone was going cross eyed looking at the tip of my nose. It was horrible. When I went to my daughter's school play, I saw someone laugh and I was sure it was my cyclops nose. Yes, it holds me back.

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Hi

How many of you are single at the moment and do you find your acne makes it difficult for you to interact with people or meet new people?

I am 28 and often feel I let this problem hold me back.

What are your views? For those in relationship, does your acne affect it at all?

I feel like a cyclops! Every time I get a big zit, I feel like people don't look me in the eye when they are talking to me. I had a big zit on the tip of my nose and I SWEAR---everyone was going cross eyed looking at the tip of my nose. It was horrible. When I went to my daughter's school play, I saw someone laugh and I was sure it was my cyclops nose. Yes, it holds me back.

No doubt - I totally agree. I'm 37 and an R.N. educator for a drug company. Try getting up in front of a group of patients to teach them about different diseases and treatments, trying to teach health and wellness, all the while thinking about my crusty/oozing/swollen cysts. It sux. I find it hard to make eye contact with people. It's so embarrassing.

My husband is sweet - telling me they're "not that noticeable" = uh, yeah. Nice try - but I'm not blind.

Thank goodness for concealer - I really feel for men who can't hide behind cosmetics like women can. It's not fair. :(

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I can definitely relate to lots of ppl in this thread. Feels comforting to know I'm not the only one.

I've never gone on a date or had a gf. I just turned 24. Came to America from SE Asia when I was 15, socially awkward in new surroundings and predominantly white high school. Wore braces and glasses my junior and senior years. College time came and no more braces, no glasses, got into shape. Then came acne. Boy the bad luck just doesn't stop does it? Along with a host of other things, it crushed my confidence. I tried making myself feel confident, and i am still a reasonably confident person but it's not totally there.

And I have a few insensitive friends who keep pointing out I'm 24 and have never had a gf. It's all fun and jokes but they don't know how I feel and what I've been through since they have nice skin.

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Hi

How many of you are single at the moment and do you find your acne makes it difficult for you to interact with people or meet new people?

I am 28 and often feel I let this problem hold me back.

What are your views? For those in relationship, does your acne affect it at all?

I feel like a cyclops! Every time I get a big zit, I feel like people don't look me in the eye when they are talking to me. I had a big zit on the tip of my nose and I SWEAR---everyone was going cross eyed looking at the tip of my nose. It was horrible. When I went to my daughter's school play, I saw someone laugh and I was sure it was my cyclops nose. Yes, it holds me back.

No doubt - I totally agree. I'm 37 and an R.N. educator for a drug company. Try getting up in front of a group of patients to teach them about different diseases and treatments, trying to teach health and wellness, all the while thinking about my crusty/oozing/swollen cysts. It sux. I find it hard to make eye contact with people. It's so embarrassing.

My husband is sweet - telling me they're "not that noticeable" = uh, yeah. Nice try - but I'm not blind.

Thank goodness for concealer - I really feel for men who can't hide behind cosmetics like women can. It's not fair. :(

Fuck that, if mines bad i'll wear concealer! haha! Mind you, these days i only really suffer from very mild acne so its kinda easy to conceal even at its worst. Still, i know how you feel. Part of the time i'm a teacher and i can't stand the thought of all the kids looking at my skin... I can be so hard. :boohoo:

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I'm 25/married. I never really had acne as a teen, it only began to affect me in my early 20s. Since november it's gotten really bad, and I've been horribly depressed. I just don't want to go out anywhere with my husband or meet up with friends because it's such a hassle to try and cover it up, and it looks bad either way.

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I feel really self conscious about my skin....it's really horrible right now. Since stopping spiro I've been breaking out a lot on my chin. I'm single and have been for a while and I just feel bad about my skin. I'm too afraid to have anyone get too close to me. I know that sucks, but that's how I feel. Today I went downtown (I live in Vancouver) and as I was walking along I was looking at other people's skin and it was like I was the only woman walking in the entire freakin city that had acne! What guy would want that?! I get down about it sometimes. :cry:

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I'm almost 25 and i can't begin to tell you how it ruins your self confidence. This past half year my skin has been at its worst and sometimes i just want to cry! (actually today i did) its so frustrating cause i try everything and nothing seems to help long term and it makes me crazy. right now the right side of my face looks way better than the left. but i still have all these red spots on my face which take forever to go away. ive been dealing with this for so long and i keep wondering if one day ill be pretty and wont have to worry about this or is this my fate? i know im blabbing but today was a bad day (face-wise) i'm not the type that can just shake it off either. i can get into such an awful mood from this acne that i dont want to talk to anyone or see anyone and then it becomes this horrible cycle. i wish i would just find something that worked for me. any suggestions?

tali

hi tali, im mark and im 24 from UK and i am having a bad week at the moment.called into work sick last friday and saturday, went in this morning and my face was stinging and blotchy, it pissed me off so much i decided to bring on the stomach cramp story and ended up coming home again.A lot of people dont understand and realise the effects it can have on people, i was in a foul mood for the 3 hours i was in work this morning and, like you, i cant shake it off either, its all i seem to think about!i dont know where this came from gene-wise either.the spots/small cysts and red blotches attack my cheeks mainly, but at the moment the blotchyness is all over more or less, can get quite painful.i am currently on erythromycin four tablets a day/chammomile and t/tree facewash morning and night and isostre::@@? (spelling not my strong point) topical cream twice a day.i have recently bought a medibeam phototherepy machine which i'm currently waiting to arrive...i just feel sooo down at the moment, dont want to see my girlfriend and when i try to talk about it to my mum or dad i just end up breaking down!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I dont have a bf at the moment and Im not really interested now. Its not acne that holds me back but the fact that I am a loner and I dont trust a lot of people

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im going on a date next week i hope! been flurting with a girl loads on the net and txt message.

i'm so scared of meeting her though. i just pray my skin will be ok that day.

i've been really flurting heavily with her.... she thinks im a sex god or something lol. little does she know im a virgin who doesnt like to get naked lol.

so anyway,... thats the mess ive got myself into!

any advice on what to do if i hav crap skin on the date?

what about bacne and chest acne???? how do i avoid nudity (on my part anyway!)?

tim

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Acne destroyed my marriage, due to my depression and my inability to go out when feeling bad!

Rebuilding it all now, cept the marriage, that is DOA!

Took the words right out of my mouth :rolleyes: I met my (ex)wife about 2 years after I had a course of roaccutane which had cleared my skin up 99%. Gradually my acne began to worsen over the following few years. As a result my moods/confidence sunk, I would make any excuse not to socialise, took many weeks off work with 'stress' and ultimately my marriage hit the rocks, which in itself depressed me even further. Anyway, now my acne is mild again but I still get the odd flare-up, like this week, where I get 1-2 inflammed spots. These unpredictable break-outs stop me leaving the house, except for work, and so I rarely meet anyone to even attempt a new relationship. Vicious circle :boohoo:

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Hi

How many of you are single at the moment and do you find your acne makes it difficult for you to interact with people or meet new people?

I am 28 and often feel I let this problem hold me back.

What are your views? For those in relationship, does your acne affect it at all?

come on it totally effects social&personal relationships just tlking & trying to meet people you're selfconscious of it you don't want them looking directly at you try cover mkup or when not so bad meet someone they see real you no mkup all blotched want nothing to do with you. I know i've lost boyfriends because of skin. put the relationship aside just sociability you reclouse yourself when a mess if try to venture hate bright lights you want in any way to hide it' its terrible to say but fact is first thing someone sees when spking to you is face'the clear skin people "oh bad hair day" I need to drop 10lbs" point being acne yor're face bumped scarred discolored want nothing to do with you 'beautiful skin 10 lbs of cushion thats not going to run someone away,bad hair day woopie wash it restyle tomorrow its not gonna interfere with relationship is it ACNE TOTAL SUCK

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At the moment my acne is stopping me from going after a girl I really love :( the past month my skin has been worse then it ever has been and I dont feel comfortable being around anyone let alone her ... I keep making excuses not to meet up and she is getting very paranoid thinking I'm up to something when I'm not, its soul destroying :(.

I know people will say "well if she really loves you then she will understand" ... thats true but I'm too scared to find out, I just pray I clear up very soon.

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i wasnt confident before i had acne, so it ddidnt change, the only time i even noticed that maybe some guys were not gunna like my skin was one nice fella deciced to make popping motions on the facial area...mind you he would have been around 20yrs old...wanker...anywayz thats actually when i brought my first cleanser, my skin doesnt really get much attention (as i have a 6inch pink mohawk) wonder why...anywayz my BF reckons (who has very clear skin...as in no pimples what so ever) that i have beautiful skin and am very pretty......but ofcourse i dont believ him, coz ya no i can see the pimples its not all in my head or something.

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I know what you guys mean, I used to have acne pretty bad and I hated going out in daylight! IT is MUCH better now due to a new regimen I have been on and it has cleared up dramatically and now I am just left with a few pimples here and there and scarring , but I really know how you guys feel. I still feel like everyone is starting at my zits even though they probably are not!

I actually notice that my face clears up the most when I drink water for days and days and days .

I also hated to go out of the house without makeup on BUT i also was always afraid to put makeup on , for fear of the makeup breaking me out (although once i started wearing mineral makeup i noticed my skin did not break out from the makeup). I started wearing the N5 foundation shade from Lure Beauty , they have a special where they let you choose 8 foundation shades for like 2 or 3 bucks, so I figured, what could I lose, I'd try anything to cover up my face. And now I notice that any scars I had are hardly visible, and it pretty much covers up all of the pimples that I get. For some reason that shade just covers up everything, all of my redness and flaws.

But when I am not wearing makeup the scarring bothers me (its just a few rolling scars) but so visible in the sunlight and I do hate to go out without makeup on! I notice if i pull my face tight, i dont see the scarring haha, but i cant go walking around pulling my face back all day lol.

This is a great thread, makes me realize I am not the only one!

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