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beverly2

desperate for help

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hi i have an obsession with constantly looking in the mirror and just looking at my scars,i constantly analyise my scars which to anyone are bearly noticeable but to me are the end of the world, its affecting my life and i dont know what else to do. i had an obagi blue peel and after 10 days i peeled most of it off ( because it was very tempting and i was getting frustrated) i have minor scarring from peeling it off but has had a huge affect on my emotional being. i desperatly need some help because i feel like im making myself ill. my boyfriend is sick of my depression and i have no one to blame but myself, he tells me im beautiful and my scars arnt noticeable but when you feel so low about yourself, getting told im beautiful dosent help. i dont feel like going out or socialising or doing anything, i know there are so many more people worse off than me etc but nothing seemes to make me feel good anymore.

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beverly,

From what you are describing, it sounds like you have more of a psychological problem than anything else. I don't like the thought of any psychologists or mind altering drugs so I won't suggest any of that mess. Maybe you could post a picture and we could give you some opinions. Another person posted their picture a while back and say they looked hideous with all their scars and I was just floored by the fact that they were actually attractive and the scars that they saw were not there by any means. This person had skin that was clearly better than 90% of the known population.

What I am getting at is you should really try to accept it if your scarring is not bad cause most any treatment that might do you good also has a much better chance of making things worse (this is especially the case for minor scarring).

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Wow, I could have writen that myself. I know exactly how you feel. I'm having a really hard time too. It's all I think about and I cry a lot. I have tried the doctor and meds thing, it doesn't work I don't know what else to do. You're not alone

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i also have the same problem. my boyfriend tells me all the time that my scars are hardly noticible - but it's so hard to believe! it seems like the end of the world to me, sometimes. i know that sounds horribly vain, but i really care about the way my scars look.

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I agree too. I feel exactly the same as you most of the times. And no matter how many people tells me that I don't look bad, I find it hard to believe in them. It is like our mind has already made a decison for ourselfs. But I do have mild scarring, I'm doing something about it now, so at least this is giving me some hope. I don't think I would be happy unless I see close to 100% improvements. I know I sound vein but I just feel like it is reachable since my scars aren't deep at all. So have you tried any treatments? And yes would you mind showing me a picture of your scars?

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I feel the same too!

I have shallow scarring on my cheeks (mixture of rolling, ice picks and boxcars) and most people say they are not noticable but I think they are.

Some days I am ok with my scars and I feel better. But mostly I am depressed and frustrated that there is no 'fix' for shallow scars and in fact they are harder to diminish / improve. Plus I am frightened of making the scars I have worse through treatments. I do still have hope they will improve though.

The times when I see my scars in 'bad' light (ie dark room with a lamp on or car rear view mirror), I am so upset about them. I check them all the time and ask my mum / boyfriend "how noticable are they?" over and over again. I am sure they are annoyed with me but never say.

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well i am so glad i am not the only one who feels this shit, thankyou for your comments, i will not send a picture because you can never see my scars from a photo and i dont fancy the world seeing me. its how i feel that affects me and people saying nice things never helps. i want to get something done about it but i dont know what. everyone who feels like me mention they must be sounding vain, i dont think its vain atall, i think if your not happy with your skin, no matter how small it may seem to an outsider, then thats it and if its going to affect your emotional state, then everything else dosent matter so much. sounds selfish but its amazing how much your appearance can affect everything around you. dont know if that made sense to you but im writing how i feel.

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please help me again, i cant stop thinking about my stupid scars and i feel like im at breaking point. i need some proper help, anyone had any success with treatments that can recommend for me for different types of minor scars

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Feel exactly the same as well beverly, but actually i recommend speaking to someone proffessionally. I have, not just about my skin...i have some other issues in my past but my skin is a big factor in my self-esteem.

I have been trying to sort of re-programme my way of thinking. When i feel so low or sad i try think of the things that are important to me and put it all in perspective. Yes im having scar treatment done, but i dont wish for the scars to rule my life. I miss out on so many opportunities because im scared to face the world feeling abnormal.

But ask yourself this:

DO you have friends?

Do you have people who love you?

Do you make people laugh and smile?

Do you have/had intimate relationships?

The answers to most of these are probably yes..meaning you are a fun person, lovable, can make others feel good and are desired.

Try remember that when you feel down, and try remember that life is too short to spend it obsessing about ur skin.

Im trying too :) So lets all be strong for each other and know we feel compassion for each other too.

My scars are deep so i cant really suggest treatments (im going to have isolagen done end of April). But maybe would be worth trying some cognitive theorapy also to help you work through your feelings.

*Big hug*

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