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It's got to be said... even though it might not change people's outlook or feelings:

Being negative is not going to solve your problems, it's not going to gain you friends, and it's not going to promote progress.

Negativity pushes people away; friends will try to lift your spirits and help you but if you're constantly gloomy and negative it's not going to make them feel good about themselves either, and at some point, they might break away. I wouldn't blame them. How would it do for their spirits to be around negativity all day? People want to help, but they also want to live their lives and seek enjoyment. It's their right.

The same goes for your family. If your family expresses worry and care; don't push them away. Talk to them, listen. The worst thing you can do is to ignore what others have to say. They're trying to help, and who knows? It might actually work. Negative people tend to think others don't listen, but think about it, isn't it usually that you might say, "you guys just don't understand, you're not even listening to me. You don't get it". Or you reject all their ideas or suggestions. They're trying to understand, and you don't get it.

Do you think- or secretly/subconsciously hope- that by being negative, things might change? They wont. Negativity doesn't look for solutions or better alternatives; it takes the cynical path and goes at things half-assed (if at all). People will brush off possibilities because they've felt they've already tried it, but if you're that cynical- are you sure you gave it your all? Most likely, you haven't. And there are still things out there that you could try.

Remember, negativity promotes self-obsessive behavior. It can't be helped. It can cause people to withdraw and have all kinds of nasty thoughts about life and themselves, and even when you try to stop concentrating on yourself, it usually doesn't work. It wouldn't, because you're stuck in a cycle and you're not really looking to get out. Sure, you say you want to, but are you trying? Please don't say that you've tried everything already; the majority of people here are in their teens and twenties. There are people in the world who face all kinds of personal tragedies and dilemmas and they are in their sixties and seventies and they don't give up.

The first step in getting better is to allow some positivity to reach you. Withdraw from your shell, and really listen to people. Consider their suggestions and ideas. Put your feelings into words and keep looking for emotional outlets. You could try breaking the negative cycle by doing positive things for others. If anything, it will relieve some of the self-obsessed behavior you might have.

Find activities and hobbies. Do volunteer work- even if it's to walk dogs at the SPCA. Try a little harder at school. Reconnect with your friends and family.

There is no miracle that will get you out of that rut- there is no one that's going to come along and magically sweep away all your problems. The only person that can truly help you is you; friends, family, and counselors are here to help you, but you've got to take that first step.

I strive to be an optimist, but I have downs like everyone else. That's normal, it's not the end of the world if you find yourself getting better only to fall again- that's what life's about. It sucks, but who said all things had to be fair? You get up only to fall again, but that passes; that's the beauty of life. It's ever changing.

Anyway, sorry for the 'essay'. I have a brother who was stuck in that cycle; his life did not get better by moping around and feeling sorry for himself. It got better because he learned to think about others more, not about what others think; he sought out friends and strove to do better in school. He opened up to me, and I helped him out, but he was the one who made the decision to change.

If you want things to change, change. It's not easy, but you have to take that step. Things don't occur by themselves.

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Guest Tenshi

i really enjoyed reading that.. It's true, life is ever-changing..that's what keeps me going..because i know things do and always will get better..but i also have to take responsibility for my life if i ever want to smile and feel good..have to take some chances, things that i fear to get any further in life.

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

Being negative may not solve your problems, but neither will faking happiness. You'll still have shit on your face.

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That's true. It's unrealistic to expect someone to just stop being negative- I never suggested otherwise. It's hard. The whole point is to *try*. People don't have to fake happiness, but you have to want to break that cycle and ~allow~ positivity in your life.

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

It's too damn hard. I'll never be happy in the skin I'm in now. Unless I find a replica of me in female form, I will be happy.

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Its not faking happiness. Its looking for things that make you happy. Negative people are always bitching and complaining about how their life sucks...instead, they should be looking at the positive side of things. Its better having acne, than being born deformed, right?

Most people with acne freak out about it and think people dont want to be their friends so theyre always looking at their own face and telling themselves "im so ugly!!". thats negative thinking. instead, get rid of all your mirrors and focus your attention on other things. get better at what you like to do and smile while youre at it. people will notice that you're a vibrant active person, and they will be attracted to you. they will want to be in your presence. i kno a lot of people who dont have acne but are shy and quiet, and they dont get girls or w/e either.

DONT LIVE LIFE ON THE SIDELINES

i talked about a lot of different things and it might not make sense at all but i gave it my shot. as soon as i started doing the regimen and not looking in the mirrors, i became a happier person. looking in the mirrors usually reminds people that they have acne and discourages them to be happy. before i knew it, a month or so after doing the regimen, i looked better than ever

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xstreamblue- I really appreciate the two cents you put in. You get what I'm trying to say, and you expanded on that with your own experiences. I hope people read your post, especially if they skip mine lol- it's too damn long.

SatanInHeels- I like that in your post I get a sense of some kind of optimism, even if it's small. You might be stuck in that rut- but it sounds to me like you're being open-minded about things; it's so good when people consider giving things a chance. Keep trying.

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

You guys have made some good points, but I think I'm passed the point of return. I'm just so negative right now, I can't see the positive in anything. I've lost the ability to be happy. I hate my life, and I hate myself. Yes, HATE! Literally have no friends, hate school, nothing I'm good at, nothing to look forward to (except more acne and scars, wohoo!); I'm living for God know's why. Somebody put me out of my misery. :(

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Hi Im Bitter- why don't you tell us about yourself? I want to know why you think you're past the point of no return. How old are you? Why do you think you have no friends? How have you tried to get better in the past?

I mean, you're on this website for a reason, you're on this particular forum for a reason. You might think there's no hope, but you're still holding out for it whether you realize it or not. It hurts, yeah, but if you want it to stop hurting you need to stop shutting yourself out and closing up when people try to shed some light. Consider it. Have you tried people's suggestions on this board? You're definitely a prime example of the negative cycle; you might look at any form of positivity pessimistically. Give things a chance; you're still young (probably ?). Does your family help at all?

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

Nobody wants to hear another sob story. All that matters is my death. :( Would any of you guys give a shit if I died tomorrow?

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Guest Tenshi

Nobody wants to hear another sob story. All that matters is my death. :( Would any of you guys give a shit if I died tomorrow?

somebody just wanted to know about u, u brushed them off. someone cared just then, u didnt even realise it. u are your own worst enemy..

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

Hi Im Bitter- why don't you tell us about yourself? I want to know why you think you're past the point of no return. How old are you? Why do you think you have no friends? How have you tried to get better in the past?

I mean, you're on this website for a reason, you're on this particular forum for a reason. You might think there's no hope, but you're still holding out for it whether you realize it or not. It hurts, yeah, but if you want it to stop hurting you need to stop shutting yourself out and closing up when people try to shed some light. Consider it. Have you tried people's suggestions on this board? You're definitely a prime example of the negative cycle; you might look at any form of positivity pessimistically. Give things a chance; you're still young (probably ?). Does your family help at all?

I'm 21. Have had acne since age 11 or so. At first I didn't think anything of it, but I was so wrong. Continued throughout junior high, and high school. I began avoiding my friends, and as a result, I turned into a total loner. I went to the dermatologist and tried all the topicals, antibiotics, other pills, and then the 'end all,' Accutane. My skin cleared up during the last month, and I was so fucking happy. Then about a month after stopping the pills, it came back with full force. I guess I wasn't going to get off that easy. I became so depressed, started skipping school, tried to sleep all day, and then my parents sent me to a psychologist. Fucking asshole he was. What's he gonna do, talk this shit off my face? Meanwhile, I was given another chance on Accutane, and to make a long story short, it didn't cure shit. I had to stop it early cause it was fucking up my white blood count. I wish I took it longer with hopes of it killing me. I might as well be dead as it is. I'm tired of people staring at me like I'm some monster. I hate running into people I used to know, because they're all fucking happy with their lives, while I'm here still dealing with the same shit. FUCK EVERYONE.

Nobody wants to hear another sob story. All that matters is my death. :( Would any of you guys give a shit if I died tomorrow?

somebody just wanted to know about u, u brushed them off. someone cared just then, u didnt even realise it. u are your own worst enemy..

There, you happy?

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Guest Tenshi

maybe u can try accutane again in the future sometime? if it was good and worked 1st time then it would work again..sometimes u need a few courses. i am 25 and on it..nearly 26..my acne still hasnt outgrown, only because of accutane so far..i know u have problems with your blood but there may be a chance to take it again in the near future. maybe u can referred to another derm..if it fucks with your blood again u can stop but it might be worth another try..especially if the first round went so smoothly..i agree, accutane is the only thing that has made me feel good again..

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

It didn't really work the first time... it only lasted a month! I went on it again and it didn't clear me up at all. What makes you think a third trial would cure it? Fuck Accutane. My liver is probably permanently damaged from it. So are you going to be popping pills for the rest of your life? If you still have acne at 26, I doubt you'll ever 'outgrow' it. Unfortunately, some people get fucked for life. I have a damn good feeling that's gonna be me.

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It didn't really work the first time... it only lasted a month! I went on it again and it didn't clear me up at all. What makes you think a third trial would cure it? Fuck Accutane. My liver is probably permanently damaged from it. So are you going to be popping pills for the rest of your life? If you still have acne at 26, I doubt you'll ever 'outgrow' it. Unfortunately, some people get fucked for life. I have a damn good feeling that's gonna be me.

well accutane works for me, my skin is pretty much clear now..but maybe your dosage was not right? my skin has always been up and down due to hormones. the pill keeps its normal. but when i went off the pill my face exploded..thats why i went on accutane..looking at my family, siblings..i am in the same boat and will probably outgrow it.. maybe your dosage needs to be higher? but if ur liver cant take it, then maybe u have to look into other things like light therapy?

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WoW i rlly liked ur words raleigh, they'r rlly nice. i totally agree negativity isn't getting me anywhere & i'm trying to be rlly positive but it's hard when i have 2 face the mirror everyday. i wish i could talk to someone about it at home but i'm just rlly embarrassed & i think they'll just tell me to get over it bcuz it's just acne. how can i be more positive?? i'm trying rlly hard, my grades r good in school but all i can think about is that my friends have clear skiN & i don't. i think u listed good ideas about what i can do but sometimes i'm just too lazy. maybe i can join a club tho. well i just wanted to tell u thanks ur essay (haha) was rlly inspiring, & i jus think ur rlly great.

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Again, Raleigh I couldn't be arsed to read that all, but it is 100% wrong. Maybe you are thinking that your view of "negativity" is the same as everyone else's. Well managed negativity doesn't have to set you back in any sense of the term.

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Again, Raleigh I couldn't be arsed to read that all, but it is 100% wrong. Maybe you are thinking that your view of "negativity" is the same as everyone else's. Well managed negativity doesn't have to set you back in any sense of the term.

The post should've come with the warning "Rant"- yeah I know it's really long. I'd skip it too and go on to other member's responses...they basically sum up what I said in (way) fewer words. I don't think I'm 100% wrong or right, but in this case you're kind of right (as opposed to what you said in the personality post)- here i'm projecting my own beliefs and ideas. You don't agree with me. Ok.

But I'm really curious... can you point to an example of well managed negativity?

WoW i rlly liked ur words raleigh, they'r rlly nice. i totally agree negativity isn't getting me anywhere & i'm trying to be rlly positive but it's hard when i have 2 face the mirror everyday. i wish i could talk to someone about it at home but i'm just rlly embarrassed & i think they'll just tell me to get over it bcuz it's just acne. how can i be more positive?? i'm trying rlly hard, my grades r good in school but all i can think about is that my friends have clear skiN & i don't. i think u listed good ideas about what i can do but sometimes i'm just too lazy. maybe i can join a club tho. well i just wanted to tell u thanks ur essay (haha) was rlly inspiring, & i jus think ur rlly great.

Thanks! What a nice thing to say.

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

But I'm really curious... can you point to an example of well managed negativity?

Easy. Accepting your fate as a leper. People who have severe acne will always be looked down upon. 'Changing' your personality doesn't do squat. You'll just be lying to yourself.

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But I'm really curious... can you point to an example of well managed negativity?

Easy. Accepting your fate as a leper. People who have severe acne will always be looked down upon. 'Changing' your personality doesn't do squat. You'll just be lying to yourself.

That's not a good example. I mean look at you, even you said that you spend most of your time online and not really doing anything. You feel sorry for yourself a lot, you posted things about not wanting to live. And again, I didn't say people had to change their personality; I was emphasizing that people should allow positivity to reach them. I have my downs but I'm a relatively happy person and I enjoy my life.

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

But I'm really curious... can you point to an example of well managed negativity?

Easy. Accepting your fate as a leper. People who have severe acne will always be looked down upon. 'Changing' your personality doesn't do squat. You'll just be lying to yourself.

That's not a good example. I mean look at you, even you said that you spend most of your time online and not really doing anything. You feel sorry for yourself a lot, you posted things about not wanting to live. And again, I didn't say people had to change their personality; I was emphasizing that people should allow positivity to reach them. I have my downs but I'm a relatively happy person and I enjoy my life.

You're right. I wallow in my own pity. It's the only thing I'm good at... thanks to acne.

Positivity doesn't like me either. He tried to lure me into his abyss with a Jolly Rancher, but I got scared and ran off like a girl. :(

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It's too damn hard. I'll never be happy in the skin I'm in now. Unless I find a replica of me in female form, I will be happy.

I agree with you Bitter. I'm sick of faking that I'm okay, I call that my "denial stage". I'm just looking for a guy kinda like me, who can actually like me for who i am now, so I can get back to normal for him. For some strange reason I feel like I can't do it just for myself. I need a replica of me in male form. lol.

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Guest Hi   Im Bitter

It's too damn hard. I'll never be happy in the skin I'm in now. Unless I find a replica of me in female form, I will be happy.

I agree with you Bitter. I'm sick of faking that I'm okay, I call that my "denial stage". I'm just looking for a guy kinda like me, who can actually like me for who i am now, so I can get back to normal for him. For some strange reason I feel like I can't do it just for myself. I need a replica of me in male form. lol.

Be with me.

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It's too damn hard. I'll never be happy in the skin I'm in now. Unless I find a replica of me in female form, I will be happy.

I agree with you Bitter. I'm sick of faking that I'm okay, I call that my "denial stage". I'm just looking for a guy kinda like me, who can actually like me for who i am now, so I can get back to normal for him. For some strange reason I feel like I can't do it just for myself. I need a replica of me in male form. lol.

Uhm, I'm your man. Not Hi_Im_Bitter, me. It's me, I promise.

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