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SmoothLover

Parents who have acne scarring and Children whose parents have scars

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Someday I will get married and have kids. And we've all heard that children bring hapiness,joy,light and love to a home. Unfortunately some couples cannot conceive or have difficulty in trying so. Or some just expect a miracle to happen. But what happens when you have acne scarring and you or your kids feel embarrased about it.? Have your kids ever made you feel bad about your scars or Do they feel embarrased in front of their friends about your scarring? or sometimes they wish you were like the rest of their friends' parents with "no scars" ?

I'd like to know how's the relationship between parents and kids when acne or acne scarring is involved. How do you handle when a situation gets tense. What would you do if your kid said : " I would never want to have acne so that I don't look like my mom or dad" Or, how do you feel when there is a field trip or meeting at your kid's school and nobody has scarring but you?

Or If you are a son or daughter and one or both your parents have acne scarring, Do you feel embarrased? Do you introduce your parents to your friends???. If you suffer from acne or scarring , do you curse on your parents??? Do you blame on them for having acne??????? Sometimes you just wish you hand't been born???.

Last week I watched a documentary about obesity in our soceity. And there was a girl who hated her parents for having passed obisity genes to her. She was 15 years old, 5"0" and weighted 245 lbs. She said her parents always promoted "heavy eating" and frequent visits to junk food joints. One day she tried to kill both her parents. They were seriously injured and taken to a local hospital and now she's serving jail time.

...WHO'S TO BLAME ??????

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my dad has scars, and I remember once when I was a kid asking him what those "holes" in his face were, my dad didn't respond but my mom said "your dad had skin problems". I never said anything else about it. Looking back now, I feel bad. But I was just a curious kid, didn't mean any harm by my question. It never bothered me really, my dads scars, I was just curious what they were. He was still handsome despite them.

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I have three kids and my middle child became most curious about my scars when he was about 8. The others never really said much about them. He started asking me why I had so many holes on my cheeks. Kids will be kids. He also asked me why my nose was so big! Anyhow, I just explained to him about acne, scarring and how I hoped he would never get it. I also told all my kids that they should not tease or stare, etc.. I used to avoid being around other kids because I was afraid they would say something, but now I don't let it bother me. If a child asks me about the scars, I tell them very matter of factly that I had pimples and they left scars. They really are just curious.

My oldest child inherited acne from me and my husband. When he was 11 I took him to the derm. She said that if his acne was this bad this early it would get much worse. She eventually put him on accutane, and now at the age of 14 he is clear as a bell - with no scars! I hope he stays that way and hope my other kids don't get acne and scars.

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My oldest child inherited acne from me and my husband. When he was 11 I took him to the derm. She said that if his acne was this bad this early it would get much worse. She eventually put him on accutane, and now at the age of 14 he is clear as a bell - with no scars! I hope he stays that way and hope my other kids don't get acne and scars.

wow. thats awesome.

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I think the best thing anyone can do before they have kids is to make sure they are willing to put in the time to raise them and spend time with them when they are small. This creates a strong bond which is more powerful than issues of vanity.

I think being emotionally cut off by the parent because of extreme self absorption or selfishness is a way bigger problem.

As for this obese kid who killed her parents...I think at 15 you are old enough to know right from wrong. Her parents may have contributed to her problem, but this gives her no excuse to attempt to kill ANYONE. She is 100% responsible for her actions. She sounds mentally ill...and I'm sure there is a lot more going on there besides anger about a weight problem.

My brother's acne scars in college were the worst in the family. I don't remember him ever blaming my parents. (My dad has some scars.) The bitter memories he carried about my dad were about his not spending time with him. He resents not having had a father- son bond...someone to give him advice. So now, he is happily married and makes his family his # 1 priority. In other words...the exact opposite of my father. So, he made choices to create a new reality...different than what he had grown up with.

quote name='Dude-WhyDoIhaveScars?' date='Mar 3 2006, 04:30 PM' post='1006827']

Someday I will get married and have kids. And we've all heard that children bring hapiness,joy,light and love to a home. Unfortunately some couples cannot conceive or have difficulty in trying so. Or some just expect a miracle to happen. But what happens when you have acne scarring and you or your kids feel embarrased about it.? Have your kids ever made you feel bad about your scars or Do they feel embarrased in front of their friends about your scarring? or sometimes they wish you were like the rest of their friends' parents with "no scars" ?

I'd like to know how's the relationship between parents and kids when acne or acne scarring is involved. How do you handle when a situation gets tense. What would you do if your kid said : " I would never want to have acne so that I don't look like my mom or dad" Or, how do you feel when there is a field trip or meeting at your kid's school and nobody has scarring but you?

Or If you are a son or daughter and one or both your parents have acne scarring, Do you feel embarrased? Do you introduce your parents to your friends???. If you suffer from acne or scarring , do you curse on your parents??? Do you blame on them for having acne??????? Sometimes you just wish you hand't been born???.

Last week I watched a documentary about obesity in our soceity. And there was a girl who hated her parents for having passed obisity genes to her. She was 15 years old, 5"0" and weighted 245 lbs. She said her parents always promoted "heavy eating" and frequent visits to junk food joints. One day she tried to kill both her parents. They were seriously injured and taken to a local hospital and now she's serving jail time.

...WHO'S TO BLAME ??????

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I actually do blame my mom sort of. I asked her to take me to a dermatologist about five times and she just brushed it off and told me to use the proactiv stuff because for some reason she thought it was the best thing out there. I didn't know much about acne and my mom didn't really either and would always say things like "are you using your proactiv?" and I would tell her yes and to stop bugging me about it. That really got on my nerves, because she would ask it after I got a big breakout and I would always snap at her. Now I have all these scars because she told me that I woulf just grow out of it and i would be ok. I was so looking forward to eventually being able to shave without worrying about breaking out all over my face and looking good, but now I'll probably rarely ever do it because I have all of these terrible scars on my face and I'm really self concious about it. Now not a day goes by when I don't think about it, and I pretty much break down on a weekly basis wondering what my life would have been like if she had just bit the bullet and paid a couple hundred a month for accutane. I'm kind of ignoring her now, but she hasn't caught on yet, I just can't stand talking to her. It's not just because of acne though, we have other issues to work out, but this sort of has to do with it as well. I'm really tired of being afraid to look in a mirror everyday and being self concious pretty much all of the fucking time. And it'll be this way for the rest of my life now because she didn't bother do to anything about it. That's how I feel anyway.

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Well. My Dad has acne scars and my Mother does not.

I was always really proud of my Dad and I can't remember ever giving his scars a second thought as a kid or teen. Maybe I would have felt differently if it had been my Mom that had the scars.

As for myself,I have a five year old that has already told that she does not want me around her teacher and the other kids in her class because of all those "things" on my face. It hurt my feelings but I realize that she is just a child. I think that love goes deeper than appearance. I know my children love me and my husband. I am going to do everything in my power to prevent my kids from getting scaring. My mom tried to get me to take Acutane when I was a teen and I would not take it-who knows how different my face would look now if I had. Anyway, I hope above hope that my kids don't get this skin that me and my Dad have-I have two sybs that do not. Who knows what kinds of advances medicine will make in the next few years. Maybe most of you here will be able to easily prevent your children from suffering acute scars.

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Mamascarface,

I've always thought that someday an acne vaccine will be available. If we have measles,chickn pox shots why don't we have acne shots?? Maybe they're working on it and our offspring will witness that.

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both of my parents had bad acne and both have acne scarring. I started getting acne when i was 12 and had it up until accutane. My boyfriend and some people would tell me i had acne and scars because i may not eat the right way or cleanse the right way or pick at acne, but i told them this is genetic and there is nothing i can do about it. I was always the one to wash my face and take off my make up after my friends and i would go out, and they would just fall asleep in their makeup and whatever else. I have used everything you can think of out there and I dont want to blame my parents for my acne but thats just how it is, they didnt do anything wrong by having it, i know they had a hard time with it when they were my age too. So yes picking and eating habits and all that have something to do with acne, but if both your parents had bad acne with scars, its a rare chance that you won't.

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The scars you tell your kid has noticed. I mean there are various procedures that can reduce scar appearance,well 80-95%, so have you tried anything and your kid noticed them or was it the scars in 'all their 'beauty'?

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there are various procedures that can reduce scar appearance,well 80-95%

Sorry to disagree with you. But I don't think so. I think there is a very limited number of procedures for acne scarring and a 80-85% improvement is very difficult to obtain especially if you have modertae-severe scars.

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Baravykes-I don't know if your message was refering to what my daughter said but NO. I have not had any treatments to reduce my scaring. I think that 80-95% improvement is a lot to hope for w/any treatment. She was refering to my scars as my acne has not been active for many years. I am thinking like smoothlover said, that there will be a preventitive other than acutane for some future generations.

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My children have never said anything to me about my scars, but I am VERY self conscious and HATE having to go anywhere really. I never had acne until I was in my thirties, I think it was hormonal for me. Neither of my parents ever had acne and I think my one brother had some acne in college, but that was probably because of eating inproperly. I cannot go through one day without obsessing over my scars, because before the acne started I had flawless skin and took it for granted that I would always. It's a horrible thing to have to live this way, even though my husband and children love me. Good luck to everyone and take care, RuPerki :D

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Smoothlover, there've been threads where people had at least 90% improvement. From the photos I would say 100%, but they evaluate themselves while looking in the mirror. Yes it is very difficult to reach these results but it is imposible. And for some people 80-90% means 100% emotionally and they simply move on with other problems.

Btw when talkin about heredity from our parents. I remember when I blamed it on my mother, but I just thought that there are many people who blame their parents that they are bald, too tall, too short, prone to some serious deseases and so on and so on. THIS IS JUST ABSURD!

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Baravykas, you are right but how can you tell that to a teenager who has terrible acne or scarring ?? Teenagers are tough sometimes. ( Can't believe I'm saying this. Couple of years ago, I was just a teen :wub: )

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My dad has very very bad scaring, havent seen a picture on here with scars as bad as his yet, he has tons of ice pic scars, anywho, it really helps having him to talk to about scars/skin as he knows it all, whats its like round people and that. Makes me feel alot better anyway.

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Well I have a 14 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. Both of whom I would think would be embarrassed due to their ages. I complain about it all the time and they are the ones that tell me its not that big of a deal or I think it is a lot worse than it really is. I dont know if they are trying to make me feel better or if that is the truth. I do know that we are our own worse critics but still, I know Im not imaginnig the shit! I really hate having to worry about this all the time and I sure wish there was something that we could do that didnt cost 7 million friggin dollars!!! I am taking my kids to an indoor waterpark in a few weeks with a friend of mine and his kids. I know I will not go in the water because I dont want my face to get wet and wash off the makeup. How sad is that!! Worst part is that the kids are so used to it that they dont really even ask me if Im going in. I do have a great relationship with my kids though and we are very open and honest with each other so I only hope that they are telling me the truth in this area.

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My dad has very very bad scaring, havent seen a picture on here with scars as bad as his yet, he has tons of ice pic scars, anywho, it really helps having him to talk to about scars/skin as he knows it all, whats its like round people and that. Makes me feel alot better anyway.

It's nice to know that you have a scars mentor at home. Do you have any brothers and sisters??? if you do, who has a closer relationship with your dad?

BTW, your picture looks really cool. It's a very professional picture. I like the tree background. It's a combination of simplicity and complexity. Nice effect! Who took that pic?? Are you into arts or modeling?

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My dad has very very bad scaring, havent seen a picture on here with scars as bad as his yet, he has tons of ice pic scars, anywho, it really helps having him to talk to about scars/skin as he knows it all, whats its like round people and that. Makes me feel alot better anyway.

It's nice to know that you have a scars mentor at home. Do you have any brothers and sisters??? if you do, who has a closer relationship with your dad?

BTW, your picture looks really cool. It's a very professional picture. Who took that pic?? Are you into arts or modeling?

I have a sister, i would probly say i have a closer relationship with my dad then her, but i see him more then she does to so..

Its just a random picture taken close by, i didnt know it was taken at the time, a friend wanted to take some pictures of the surroundings went with him and he took a picture on the sly.. i like arts, photographs of places.. lol not modeling..

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