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~TEPL0~

"acne people" vs. "clear-skinned people"

"acne people" vs. "clear-skinned people"

Do you guys really think this way?

Sorry to break this to you, but it's not like 2 different "races" of people. Most people have at least mild acne at some point in their life, so most people don't care that others have acne.

YOU care about acne, and that's why YOU think that others care, and are always looking at you. In reality, no one gives a damn about your acne. (Well, to be perfectly honest, people care if your acne is really severe, but very few people have this type of real severe acne.)

When I make new friends, at some point they find out that I follow a diet and regimen for my skin. They are amazed that I care so much about it, saying things like "but there is nothing wrong with your skin!"

Then I explain to them that nothing is wrong with my skin, BECAUSE of the diet and regimen I follow. Without it, my skin quickly erupts into cysts, as I have discovered numerous times, when I thought that I "cured" my acne and stopped doing my regimen.

I think that whenever you want to complain that acne is ruining your life, make sure you have a CURRENT photo of yourself in the gallery, so people can be objective.

A lot of people on here start screaming "my life is over! My acne is so terrible!" and then you see a photo of them, and you want to slap them, because they have like 3 small zits.

On the other hand, some people on here with severe acne, live perfectly healthy good lives, and they should also be recognized as examples of NORMAL, SANE people, who see the world from an objective perspective.

If I were running this board, I would require* a photograph of everyone who wants to be a member, especially if they want to post on the emo forum. Obviously, the photo can exclude your eyes, etc. in an effort to hide the person's identity.

*edit: I changed my mind about that, subsitute "require" with "strongly suggest"

P.S:

The point of this board is to encourage and help everyone, regardless of how bad their acne it.

In some cases, you help them by saying "don't worry about it, your acne is not bad."

In other cases, you help them by saying "Get Accutane NOW!"

And if someone doesn't post a photo, there's no way to help them properly, because you have no idea how bad their acne really is.

So do yourself a favor: post a photo, if you want people to give you the best advice.

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If I were running this board, I would require a photograph of everyone who wants to be a member, especially if they want to post on the emo forum. Obviously, the photo can exclude your eyes, etc. in an effort to hide the person's identity.

I agree with everything except that bit. Are you serious? You think such a requirement would be practical? Not to mention the fact that it would be elitist/exclusory.

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I agree with everything except that bit. Are you serious? You think such a requirement would be practical? Not to mention the fact that it would be elitist/exclusory.

It would be impractical in a sense that people who could otherwise get good information here, would be discouraged from joining, because of the requirement. But at the same time, it would be more beneficial for them, because the advice they are given would be more aimed towards their specific skin problem, with the severity taken into account.

How could it be elitist? I sort of see what you mean, but please provide a specific example of what could happen.

Maybe when everyone joins, there should be a "strong suggestion" that everyone should upload at least one photo, in which the severity of their acne can be clearly seen, so when they ask people for advice, they receive more specific results.

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How could it be elitist? I sort of see what you mean, but please provide a specific example of what could happen.

"My acne is worse than yours, so stop whining and STFU."

"Your acne isn't bad enough to post in this [emo] forum, so go away."

Or similar.

Maybe when everyone joins, there should be a "strong suggestion" that everyone should upload at least one photo, in which the severity of their acne can be clearly seen, so when they ask people for advice, they receive more specific results.

This sounds better.

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How could it be elitist? I sort of see what you mean, but please provide a specific example of what could happen.

"My acne is worse than yours, so stop whining and STFU."

"Your acne isn't bad enough to post in this [emo] forum, so go away."

well, ok, but wouldn't this help people? Maybe I'm just weird, but whenever someone yells at me for viewing a situation in an irrational way, I feel better and empowered.

People yell at me all the time when I get lost in self-pity about my skin, and every time, it's a positive, life-changing experience which gives me more confidence. I think: wait a minute.. my acne really isn't that bad! I got nothing to complain about!

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well, ok, but wouldn't this help people? Maybe I'm just weird, but whenever someone yells at me for viewing a situation in an irrational way, I feel better and empowered.

People yell at me all the time when I get lost in self-pity about my skin, and every time, it's a positive, life-changing experience which gives me more confidence. I think: wait a minute.. my acne really isn't that bad! I got nothing to complain about!

That is your reaction. Other people's reactions will differ from that. In fact, I would say that the majority of other people's reactions would differ from that.

This being a support forum and all, would it really be right to dismiss people for not having enough acne? No, that would be ridiculous. A lot of people enter this forum saying how pleased they are to have found it, and how great it is to finally be able to get things off their chest. Put yourself in that situation, then imagine people telling you to go away.

Not good.

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I remember reading David Burns' psychology book called "Feeling Good." It's a method of cognitive psychology, which has moved my life in a much better direction.

In the book he compared Freud's method vs. Cognitive method. Here's how he describes it:

Patient: I feel like I'm a terrible person. I'm a piece of crap.

Freud's method: If he says it, it must be true, because he knows himself better than anyone else.

Cognitive method: Patient is thinking unreasonably, and needs to fix his way of thinking, with a reality check.

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Put yourself in that situation, then imagine people telling you to go away.

I wouldn't think that anyone would tell them to leave, but what do you think is the fundamental purpose of the board? Is it to "listen and comfort" or is it to provide a solution?

If someone has mild acne, and they feel that it's terrible, the solution would be to "straighten out" their way of thinking by convincing them that they are wrong about their self-image. If you're just saying "it will be ok, go listen to some happy music" it's not really solving the person's problem, it just comforts them.

So psychologists administer CBT by yelling at their patients telling them they're pathetic? Come on.

well, no, but they would solve the problem by convincing the person that their way of thinking is wrong. No psychologist (or reasonable person on this board) would go as far as telling someone that they're pathetic when they're depressed about their looks.

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I do agree that some of the methods of "support" concocted on this board are pretty useless. Some people think that they are going to solve other people's problems by continuously going around and posting empty compliments in people's galleries complete with a wub emoticon.

The support given out around here should, ideally, be more decisive, more positive, more direct....just generally more useful. Self-administered CBT can work really well. But your method goes too far. It needs to be a balance.

well, no, but they would solve the problem by convincing the person that their way of thinking is wrong. No psychologist (or reasonable person on this board) would go as far as telling someone that they're pathetic when they're depressed about their looks.

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The support given out around here should, ideally, be more decisive, more positive, more direct....just generally more useful. Self-administered CBT can work really well. But your method goes too far. It needs to be a balance.

Agreed. Another interesting thing which I heard a psychologist on the radio mention, which might be a factor in this discussion:

Difference between men and women, when they tell someone else that they're depressed:

Let's say a man comes to a friend with a problem. The man wants his friend to help him figure out the solution.

When a woman comes to a friend with a problem, she wants her friend to comfort her, until the point where the woman herself, comes up with the solution to the problem.

An experienced female psychologist made this example, so I take it as fact.

So according to her, when a man has a problem, he mainly wants to solve the problem as fast as possible. When a woman has a problem, she wants fer friends to be supportive and comfort her, without giving her practical advice.

What do you thik about that? do you find it to be true?

(I'm gonna go get some lunch..)

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How could it be elitist? I sort of see what you mean, but please provide a specific example of what could happen.

"My acne is worse than yours, so stop whining and STFU."

"Your acne isn't bad enough to post in this [emo] forum, so go away."

well, ok, but wouldn't this help people? Maybe I'm just weird, but whenever someone yells at me for viewing a situation in an irrational way, I feel better and empowered.

People yell at me all the time when I get lost in self-pity about my skin, and every time, it's a positive, life-changing experience which gives me more confidence. I think: wait a minute.. my acne really isn't that bad! I got nothing to complain about!

Maybe you feel better and improved, but that doesn't go for everyone. Nothing wrong with not posting a picture. If someone wants to, then they will. If not, then they won't. Being yelled at can be really hurtful and demeaning to some. To others, it may not be. You can be helpful to someone even if they don't have a picture. Just being there, and offering consolation can make a world of difference. Every person on this board knows the condition of their skin...and are trying to get help. Yes it can help if they have a picture, but a lot of people just want somewhere to vent where they know others will understand. A picture isn't necissary for that.

I agree with most of what you said.

Good post.

Actually, on second though...I don't really agree with any except for a few lines. Not everyone is the same. You shouldn't have to have a picture to post in the "emo" forum. That should be a place where it shouldn't matter. The other boards are for acne advice. This one is for people to talk about problems and whatnot...I see this board as more of a general chat...something to talk, vent, and just a place to talk freely with people who share your problem. If someone wants advice on their acne, and decides to post here then more power to them. Good place to do it. Yes, a picture would help....but good advice can be given whether you have seen the condition of their skin or not.

It's a good thing you don't run this board. It's fine the way it is. Your way would deter a lot of people from posting. Making such rules would negate the freedom it already has.

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Agreed. Another interesting thing which I heard a psychologist on the radio mention, which might be a factor in this discussion:

Difference between men and women, when they tell someone else that they're depressed:

Let's say a man comes to a friend with a problem. The man wants his friend to help him figure out the solution.

When a woman comes to a friend with a problem, she wants her friend to comfort her, until the point where the woman herself, comes up with the solution to the problem.

An experienced female psychologist made this example, so I take it as fact.

So according to her, when a man has a problem, he mainly wants to solve the problem as fast as possible. When a woman has a problem, she wants fer friends to be supportive and comfort her, without giving her practical advice.

What do you thik about that? do you find it to be true?

I'm not sure to what extent it would be true enough to generalise it to "all women" and "all men", but it does kind of make sense to me. So you are suggesting people should be given different support based on gender? Well, if this info comes from a credible enough source and there is evidence for it besides an experienced psychologist having said it, maybe it would be a good idea.

But let's be honest, attempting to introduce any kind of protocol into this forum is not likely to succeed. (If that is what you are suggesting)

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So you are suggesting people should be given different support based on gender? Well, if this info comes from a credible enough source and there is evidence for it besides an experienced psychologist having said it, maybe it would be a good idea.

nah, that wouldn't make sense, and would just piss people off, and I don't think the idea is true for all men and all women, but it's just something to keep in mind when a woman is asking for advice rather than a man. I'm always inclined to help people find a solution, but maybe all some people want is to hear me say "it will be ok, just try to think positive"

hmm, what if it's required for everyone to post their gender? maybe that would improve the types of advice people give? (although I can think of very few cases where it's not clear which gender someone is)

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