Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
IFeelBroken

I hate the outsiders....

I made a deal with my dad that I wouldn't kill myself if he let me do home schooling, and some crazy stuff to my hair... He went along with it so yay...

Anyways I have only been going to Kofa High for like a month and 6 days (give or take)... Every morning I get up drink some coffee and stare in the mirror.... Schools starts at 7:45, I get up at 5:00 just so I can stare at myself... I feel Insignificant... Well I have a problem making new friends (I can be a mean heartless ass occasionally) at school... I can never start a conversation; I always wait for people to talk to me first.... Kind of weird I know... My life hasn't been going that well lately but I am trying to deal with as much as I can... I usually never leave my humble apartment (which I hate more then god) to enjoy life... Its like me an the sun are arch enemies... I would never dream of venturing forth into the cruel world... I sometimes make meaningless trips to the local grocery store; I buy the usual goodies: skittles, face wash. and soy foods... That shouldn't count...

When I go some place with lots of people I have anxiety attacks, I always feel like people are staring, laughing, or making hurtful jokes... Sometimes I get dressed without looking in the mirror, but as soon as I get a glimpse of myself I change my mind about evening going anywhere... I feel like I am caged in my own body... :cry:

Well anyways this was just a rant, I needed to just type the pain away... So well I hope your life is going well.. :D .I didn't mean that in sarcasm... Bai bai...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Man, your situation sounds so much like mines, back when I was a young lad.

You just got to pull through it.Who cares if you dont have friends, or if youre not the most popular person amongst your peers.

What matters is you better yourself, in terms of education.Cause 5 years down the line, those jocks will be bagging your groceries or working at Mcdonalds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Start to play a musical instrument. You look like a piano/keyboard person to me. Learn the in's and out's of it, get really good, join a band perhaps, and soon you will have fanbase in which people will be worshipping you - despite your skin (hopefully it'll be gone by then though). It's a great escape. Put all your creative energy into that. Lose yourself.

If you're not into anything musical, just try to find a hobby or something you're good at, and strive to get better at it. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeh man thats cool your dad helpes you out like that. my dad is not mean but he would have just looked at me funny and just left the room. anyways, your acne from your pics, although old, doesnt look bad. seriosuly if i say your pic anywhere else but on acne.org i wouldnt even think about acne. i know what u need to do, is get soem new glasses those galsses are old fashioned to me. beleive me when your wearing soemthing nice it attracts ppl to you. you cna say we live in a fucked up superficial world. or maybe even contacts would be great. but seriosuly inorder for us to not feel non human we need human contact so if its a hi or a smile , it will amke our day. if you liek them keep them good for you. but im saying maybe youll feel better if you got some new ones. your one cool motherfucker though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Akira

i think we've all been there dude, i've lost count the number of times i've missed out on going out cos of my skin, or how much time i missed from school/college, and i used to hardly ever look in the mirror as it was just too painful. Im thinking of writing a book on acne, not a theoritical side, but a story, i've got it mapped out in my head and i've had some good ideas. Its going to cover the story of a kid from when he first gets acne till he kills himself in his early twenties/late teens (bit extreme i know but i want to ruffle some feathers and draw some goddamn attention to our situation) I dont want to be brushed aside anymore or be given any more useless antibiotics, i'm going to start brainstorming today once i get back from the unemployment office (Free money, woo)

dont give up dude, i wont fill your head with useless optimism like "It'll get better" as it might not, but have patience, tomorrow is a new day

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I made a deal with my dad that I wouldn't kill myself if he let me do home schooling, and some crazy stuff to my hair... He went along with it so yay...

Anyways I have only been going to Kofa High for like a month and 6 days (give or take)... Every morning I get up drink some coffee and stare in the mirror.... Schools starts at 7:45, I get up at 5:00 just so I can stare at myself... I feel Insignificant... Well I have a problem making new friends (I can be a mean heartless ass occasionally) at school... I can never start a conversation; I always wait for people to talk to me first.... Kind of weird I know... My life hasn't been going that well lately but I am trying to deal with as much as I can... I usually never leave my humble apartment (which I hate more then god) to enjoy life... Its like me an the sun are arch enemies... I would never dream of venturing forth into the cruel world... I sometimes make meaningless trips to the local grocery store; I buy the usual goodies: skittles, face wash. and soy foods... That shouldn't count...

When I go some place with lots of people I have anxiety attacks, I always feel like people are staring, laughing, or making hurtful jokes... Sometimes I get dressed without looking in the mirror, but as soon as I get a glimpse of myself I change my mind about evening going anywhere... I feel like I am caged in my own body... :cry:

Well anyways this was just a rant, I needed to just type the pain away... So well I hope your life is going well.. :D .I didn't mean that in sarcasm... Bai bai...

I feel for your, I can tell exactly what your going through, I once tried this new product on my skin. I woke up and it seemed like the pigmentation had been drained, I had 0 pigmentation, no blushing, no colouring, but albino white skin (I am usually a normal peach/brown colour, if you can see past the acne of course) I really wanted to die, this was the worst moment in my life, I couldn't peel my eyes away from the mirror, and I hated what I wanted to do to myself. But at the end of the day, FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE!!!!!

Try to feel happy, it works sometimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×