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christa_bista

Nothing to do with acne but I'm worried about my mum.

I asked my mum an hour or so ago if I could go to a party tomorrow night. She seemed a bit confused and was stumbling with her words and I asked her if she was drunk. She's like this a lot, she seems confused and has trouble getting the words across. I don't know if it's because it's night time and she's tired or what but it concerns me. What concerned me even more was when I asked her not long ago, "so can I go to the party?" and she said "what party??" She had no idea what I was talking about and I reminded her that I had asked her an hour or so ago If I could go to my friend's party. She was so insistent that I had never asked her. She said "no you didn't, you never asked me anything. I haven't heard anything about this party." She looked confused again and I said "seriously I think you're losing your mind because I know I asked you. How can you not remember?" She then just said "sorry, I don't remember" and went to bed, ignoring me. I feel sorry for her because she seemed really confused and had no idea what I was talking about.

You might just think that she must have forgotten or she was pretending not to know, but I'm genuinely scared and worried because my grandfather (my mum's dad) had alzheimer's disease. It got to the point where he didn't recognize us and he didn't know where he was or what was going on. I'm scared that my mum is becoming like that and she's only in her 40s.

I'm going to confront her about it tomorrow because I'm really upset. I don't want her to lose her mind and forget who I am. Maybe I'm overreacting..

Has anyone else had relatives suffer from dementia? Does anyone know if it is possible that the symptoms of dementia are showing already in my mum?

I hope someone can help.

Take care.

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Oh wow, that is pretty sad. Just try to think positive about it, I mean I basically remember everything someone say's even if it's not directed at me but that's me, other people can genrally forget because they have a selective memory, example if she was watching a TV program she really liked and you told her while she was watching, her answer would be ok or something just to agree and continue watching.

I think check out if she had anything to drink (My mum's depressive and drinks some wine before bed) and then confront her NICELY the next day.. The last thing you want is to upset her, I feel sorry for her. She may be in denial, or she might be open to the idea and allow you to do test's on her. I'm not sure what treatment there is but I hope she get's some help and is completely fine...

Hope I helped?

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Don't speculate, it may be anything, don't worry about it. If it continues then you should maybe start to worry.

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My grandmother suffers from alzheimer's disease and I have noticed that my mom (her daughter) is already having troubles with her memory (she is in her mid 50s). Who knows though, I mean my mom has to take care of herself, my dad, BOTH her parents (ages 92 and 87 who still live in the own home with NO care) so I mean if I had to worry about everyone else I would probably forget a few things too. It is something to pay attention to for sure but if she is going through a stressful time right now that may be an explanation as well.

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Thanks heaps for the replies, that's very helpful.

I spoke to her this morning about it and reminded her about the party and she said sorry, she must have been half asleep or whatever but I'm not sure.. It's not like it's happening in the middle of the day when she's alert, just when she's a bit out of it I suppose. She seemed more concerned with me missing out on the party tonight because of her.

Sorry to hear about your grandma north, that must be hard for your mum and the rest of your family. When my pop had alzheimer's, we tried to take care of him for as long as possible but it became too much for my nanna so after many years, we put him into a nursing home. He died not long later and I really wish he had never been put in there. He became even more confused and whenever we went to visit him he had forgotten us more and more. :cry: It was hard to see him like that but I don't know if his condition would have deteriorated so much if he hadn't have gone into the nursing home, in the unfamiliar surroundings and with unfamiliar faces.

Take care and thanks for the responses.

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Ooh, that is a bit frightening, Christa. You talked about the party but did you tell your mom about your concerns for her overall? That's probably a lot to hand to her but maybe you should discuss the matter with your dad, sisters or other people who also interact with your mom. If there is something wrong maybe you aren't the only one noticing it, and you certainly shouldn't have to confront your mother alone.

I'm sorry about your grandfather, and the nursing home bit but you can not change the past. It's always hard to let someone go, and give the care to a stranger but don't look back on that time and think "what ifs". It's only going to hurt.

[[[[[christa]]]]]]

Hey there, thanks for the reply. I didn't exactly say to her straight out this morning that I'm concerned with her being forgetful and such. I just asked, how could you forget like that and when she said she must have been half asleep I was like but you said you'd think about it and you looked as though you were listening, yet you completely forget about it and accused me of never telling you. Maybe she had been drinking though or had just been sleeping and woken up when I asked her so she wasn't paying attention completely, I'm not sure but I think I will speak to my dad about it later.

Ya, that's true about my grandfather. The what ifs do only hurt and there's nothing that can be done now.. Thank you :)

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maybe try taking her out to lunch and gradually get into the convo about the situation, if it is serious and only you can tell then talk to her about it somewhere safe but out the house. i say out the house becasue its good to be in a diffrent environment becasue the house may be constricting her of her feelings. make sure your nice and considerate make sure you make you rpoint but in no way hurt her feelings. you have to consider this (what shes doing) isnt for fun so she is suffering and getting mad wont help. also plan out how you are going to do it, how your going to get into the topic and what your going to say, becasue coming in there and stuttering over your words wont help. i understand this is a real hard time for you with alot of refelcting but make sure you remember this is your mother and you have to be strong for her no matter what. You could go ask your other siblings but in a way you dont want to overdue do it becasue that will put even more pressure on your mom. i say confront her yourself and if she denies it ask her if shes sure or question her behavior of late. If she doesnt want to talk then i say you talk to your other siblings, close freinds etc.

But whatever happens, i wish you good luck and hopefully you can get through this, evryone goes through shit and you just have to adjust and overcome it.

:angel:

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I asked her not long ago, "so can I go to the party?" and she said "what party??" She had no idea what I was talking about and I reminded her that I had asked her an hour or so ago If I could go to my friend's party. She was so insistent that I had never asked her. She said "no you didn't, you never asked me anything. I haven't heard anything about this party." She looked confused again and I said "seriously I think you're losing your mind because I know I asked you. How can you not remember?" She then just said "sorry, I don't remember"

my mum does this all the time. she probably has a lot on her mind and was either doing something else when you asked or was half asleep.

but i'd suggest telling her how concerned you are about her, and asking her to take your concerns seriously instead of just telling you she's fine so as to not worry you.

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Yeah, my mam's the same, sometimes she ignores me completely and often has trouble finishing her sentences, and sometimes she forgets things aswell. But I'm 100% sure there's nothing wrong, so I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it, but definately inquire and get some closure.

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I would not worry too much like people have been saying, but you know you mom the best, and if you really think that there is something wrong you should talk to her about it. Untill then you will never know :P

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