Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Hey all!

I'm on my third month of accutane. my first month was 40mg/day then I did 80 for the second month and I have been on 120MG for 3 days now. To be honest, I feel no different than when i was on 40mg per day.

Anyway, i have been breaking out badly. I don't know why. the first month I broke out for an entire week and the 3 weeks after that I did nothing but clear up. So by the end of the first month I was pretty much clear acne-wise except for 1 pimple and 2 little whiteheads that weren't noticeable. As soon as I started the 80mg/day month, i began to break out badly in cysts around my jaw and on my forehead. Now, my forehead is okay, some minimal breakouts do occur there but mostly on my cheeks. Now I am on day 3 of month 3 and I am on 120 a day! Sounds like a lot doesn't it? I am just really hoping that this is the month I begin to clear up. The second month left me with tons and tons of acne(an average of about 15 new pimples every DAY!!!).

On thursday I went to my dermatologist and he was surprised to find that I had broken out so badly because the last time he saw me I was pretty much clear and so he increased my daily dosage so that it would penetrate into my boday and not return once I was completely clear for at least 5 months. I guess his plans didn't work.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. my face is so bad right now that he prescribed ERYTHROMICIN 2% topical solution for my face. I have taken Eryhromicin before as an oral antibiotic. He said that it should help my face calm down some of the inflammation. IT IS HELL!!! It burns so much. i hate it. I tried it for the first time yesterday and it just hurts like nothing I've ever tried. I felt like ripping my face off!!! this morning, my face seems less irritated, so i think it works. I have not put it on tonight. I am going to do so as soon as I finish typing this post. HOpefully I'll clear up with this topical solution and the 120mg of accutane. Wish me luck guys... i really need it.

i have turned my back on my religion because of my acne. i just hate my face so much. I don't want to be a braggart but, I know that I am a great guy and a great friend and I am quite social too. I simply hate the fact that because of this monster that lives on my skin, I can't be myself. I would be ridiculed by others. At times i forget that I look grotesque and vulgar and I catch myself being myself... then I have to stop so as to not embarrass myself any longer.

Why us? WHY!!!!!! It's so unfair I can't believe acne even exists, it's stupid! there's no point to it. When i had milder acne, I thught to myself "perhaps this is my punishment or test that God gave me and I should be able to develop my character this way" Well, It didn't work. I am not a better person bcause of acne, I would certainly like t think so, but it's not true at all!

I have become so shallow because of this fucking retarded shit we call "acne". I've become materialistic and so many other things. It's not fair to live in a state of constant depression. I don't choose to be depressed i just can't help it. I want to live life as a regular tennager but I am stuck at home hiding from my friends and hiding from a healthy social life because of this.

Winter Formal is in 2 weeks. I was REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to this dance, I have been planning it for almost a year. I was going to get a limo and a great partner to go with. I was going to go shopping for a nice outfit ... and i was going go go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. I wanted to take pictures of my date and I.... like I did two years ago when I was clear. But i can't do any of that now because of my stupid face. No one wants go be my date because of my acne and I know it. I have many friends who are "willing" to go with me, but I think they're just doing it because of pity .

I can't wait to be normal... i just can't wait. I am missing out on way too many things.

I hope you guys can relate.....

much love to you all,

-jay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Jay,

You sure are a fighter buddy - I really admire you. Being on 120mg must be tough enough, without the erythromycin topical. Despite it being prescribed by the derm, I would stop it immediately. Both my derm and my dad (who was a doctor) have told me that I'm not allowed to put the Zineryt (erythromycin/zinc) topical that I was using on, now that I'm on accutane, as your skin is way too sensitive. The stuff burns even off tane, so doing it now must be hell.

Think about it logically:

- both your breakout periods can be explained. Each time a new dose of accutane hits your body, a breakout is likely to occur. That happens to lots of us. But as you said, it goes away over time.

- you said your skin was getting better after the breakout periods. That's a sign that accutane is working. It is going to breakout on your new dose of 120mg, but you can be confident that it will stop in 2 weeks or so.

- I'm surprised that the derm did not just suggest sticking with one of the lower doses, but for a longer period. Seems to be what is suggested by most. An increase in dose is not always needed. If 40mg was working for you, then why couldn't you maybe go up to 60mg for the rest of your course?

- this is no punishment from God. Over the last ten years my beliefs have changed massively...I think it's possible to believe in a God, but not try to define him/her/it, and accept that our tiny brains will never understand the universe. Being in a 'religion' is not needed. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return". For that you just need youself and other human beings....no 'church', no magic book, no nothing.

- I totally agree. Acne is horrible, unfair, wrong. When you're done with the course and your skin is good, you're going to be totally accepting of other people with skin/face conditions, and lots more. Even now, while I've still got acne, I see others with it (some mild, some really severe), and I just want to hug them. All of us on here are in the same boat.

- you are not shallow or materialistic. By worrying that you might be, you've just shown yourself that you're not. Acne DOES screw with your self-image. That's a fact. It's not you.

This time next year buddy, this time next year....

Mr Tom

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

120MG a day, are you crazy? The effect's from 40MG a day are bad enough let alone 120 after 3 month's, you're going to screw your body and life up, I'd advise you to take 80MG untill 6 month's and then STOP, if that didn't work seek other treatment!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He's prob young too, and his body can get rid of it quite easily.. It's not that big of a deal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Winter Formal is in 2 weeks. I was REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to this dance, I have been planning it for almost a year. I was going to get a limo and a great partner to go with. I was going to go shopping for a nice outfit ... and i was going go go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. I wanted to take pictures of my date and I.... like I did two years ago when I was clear. But i can't do any of that now because of my stupid face. No one wants go be my date because of my acne and I know it. I have many friends who are "willing" to go with me, but I think they're just doing it because of pity .

where do you live...?

our school has a winter formal in 2 weeks, too... :think:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

dude, sorry to hear you've been doing badly! 120 mgs is the shit, it should kick all the crap out of your system. I know how it feels like to be breaking out and not stopping, well I basically stopped breaking out only into the third month, so stick with it and it'll get better. Also the erythromycin may help, because I remember my breakout began dying out when I went on some oral antibiotic (can't remember the name now).

Good luck! And as for dating, it's okay, you'll have plenty of chances when your skin is clear. Trust me you'll have no end of guys falling at your feet heh heh :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

dude, sorry to hear you've been doing badly! 120 mgs is the shit, it should kick all the crap out of your system. I know how it feels like to be breaking out and not stopping, well I basically stopped breaking out only into the third month, so stick with it and it'll get better. Also the erythromycin may help, because I remember my breakout began dying out when I went on some oral antibiotic (can't remember the name now).

Good luck! And as for dating, it's okay, you'll have plenty of chances when your skin is clear. Trust me you'll have no end of guys falling at your feet heh heh :)

Hell yah 120 mgs is the shit. Hope it sweats the acne out quik!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for responding guys. firstly, Mr. Tom. Thank you very very much for the kind words. I know you're probably busy with work or school and family and all and for you to take time away from all of that just to respond and say something nice like that to me, it really means something... so thanks! 120MG to me doesn't really feel like anything.... well.... the only true side effect that I can say i feel is the breakout and the dry lips. I feel no liver pain, I have always had back pains because of personal reasons, but no true accutane-side effects that are deadly or any of that sort. Anyway, for the person who asked about my winter formal... i live in southern california... it's amazing with all of the gorgeous people and the high-fashion life ... but I just ahte that I can't be a true part of it because of my face.

hmmmm... I really hope I don't break out too badly with the introduction to 120MG. So let's see, from now until the end of May (which is when i get my license... yay!) I should have been on 120MG for 4 months. Not too bad. Oh yes, someone was wondering how old I am. I am 16 years old, i am a boy... I like boys (haha) and i live in southern california.

Life basically sucks right now, but i am hoping it will get better. I didn't cry that much today. Only for like 15 minutes. And not because of acne.... so that's always nice. My acne didn't flare up this morning. I think the erythromycin is really working. the burn is HELL though. I start dancing around as soon as i slab it on. Oh my goodness it burns so much. I feel like my face is on fire or like someone is ripping my face off. the thing that really sucks is that it keeps on burning all night long and I start tearing and almost cry but ... it's only tears of pain (no emotions behind the tears) and I "cry" myself to sleep. in the morning i wake up and my zits are mcuh much MUCH more calmed down. it's great. i really love it. but the BURN.... THE BURn!!! it... burns... wow, obviously i have a wide vocabulary...

Anyway, (how many times have i said anyway?) I weigh 138 now for those of you who were wondering. I have gained and lost a lot of weight. I would like to go down to 115. As it is my dream goal/target weight. i love the way that skinny guys look. I would much rather be 180lbs and acne-free though... than skinny and pimplelicious.

Boy am i sleepy, i think it's time for my shower.

Oh by the way.... do you guys take the accutane after the meal or before? i haven't managed to remember to ask my derm ..... i always forget the most simple and important questions. well. thanks thanks thanks.... thank you guys for responding......

ill try to post some pics of my breakout right now.... if i can't get it done... ill post them by next week ...

best,

-jay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

dude, the burn sounds bad. You want to make sure you're not damaging your skin in some way, so I would suggest calling your derm and asking him if anything's wrong. Then again, maybe you're a total drama queen like me! :cool:

I feel your pain, man. 138 is already skinny for your age, it's amazing that you're on such a high dose. Damn I wish I could take 120 mgs to kick all the shit out of my system forever, so you know when you get off it it's going to be good all the way.

Anyway again about winter formals there will be plenty and you'll have no end of boys... reminds me of that 16-going-on-17 song from The Sound of Music... wouldn't it be cool if it was two boys singing it to each other? :dance: Okay enough of the dumbass homo fantasies. Take care taner

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm.

Hi everyone!

I was trying to update this thread yesterday but my power unexpectedly went out and I just gave up.

Today is day 6 of 120MG/day of the TANE and day 57 of TANE itself. Maybe I'll start seeing results in another 57 days.

Nothing really new today. The Erythromycin Topical solution still burns. I was just about to hop in the shower and I decided to update for y'all.

J.l.r.m. . . . I have the exact same problem with sunscreen. My face gts all weird and irritated and reddish and It just looks really oily and burned....... i hate using sunscreen, so i just don't anymore.

Well Jl.r.m. I am so glad to hear that your doing better than before. i think you should definitely go clubbing if you get the chance to. You only get to live once, even if I look like shit at my winter formal dance... i think I am actually going to convince myself to go.

Well.... i am feeling pretty tired and lazy right now.... there's nothing much I have to say.... I guess i just have to wait out the next 120 days or so...... i found a better thing to focus my attention on ....towards the end of May.. i get my car!!! so i will just be counting down the days until then and hopefully my acne will not be on my mind 24/7.

Okay...... I hope to hear from you all soon. You're all great to have, I'm so happy that I found this site.... It's an amazing place to just spill out what you can't in your everyday life.

best,

-jay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Jay,

You sure are a fighter buddy - I really admire you. Being on 120mg must be tough enough, without the erythromycin topical. Despite it being prescribed by the derm, I would stop it immediately. Both my derm and my dad (who was a doctor) have told me that I'm not allowed to put the Zineryt (erythromycin/zinc) topical that I was using on, now that I'm on accutane, as your skin is way too sensitive. The stuff burns even off tane, so doing it now must be hell.

Think about it logically:

- both your breakout periods can be explained. Each time a new dose of accutane hits your body, a breakout is likely to occur. That happens to lots of us. But as you said, it goes away over time.

- you said your skin was getting better after the breakout periods. That's a sign that accutane is working. It is going to breakout on your new dose of 120mg, but you can be confident that it will stop in 2 weeks or so.

- I'm surprised that the derm did not just suggest sticking with one of the lower doses, but for a longer period. Seems to be what is suggested by most. An increase in dose is not always needed. If 40mg was working for you, then why couldn't you maybe go up to 60mg for the rest of your course?

- this is no punishment from God. Over the last ten years my beliefs have changed massively...I think it's possible to believe in a God, but not try to define him/her/it, and accept that our tiny brains will never understand the universe. Being in a 'religion' is not needed. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return". For that you just need youself and other human beings....no 'church', no magic book, no nothing.

- I totally agree. Acne is horrible, unfair, wrong. When you're done with the course and your skin is good, you're going to be totally accepting of other people with skin/face conditions, and lots more. Even now, while I've still got acne, I see others with it (some mild, some really severe), and I just want to hug them. All of us on here are in the same boat.

- you are not shallow or materialistic. By worrying that you might be, you've just shown yourself that you're not. Acne DOES screw with your self-image. That's a fact. It's not you.

This time next year buddy, this time next year....

Mr Tom

same here

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

dude, the burn sounds bad. You want to make sure you're not damaging your skin in some way, so I would suggest calling your derm and asking him if anything's wrong. Then again, maybe you're a total drama queen like me! :cool:

I feel your pain, man. 138 is already skinny for your age, it's amazing that you're on such a high dose. Damn I wish I could take 120 mgs to kick all the shit out of my system forever, so you know when you get off it it's going to be good all the way.

Anyway again about winter formals there will be plenty and you'll have no end of boys... reminds me of that 16-going-on-17 song from The Sound of Music... wouldn't it be cool if it was two boys singing it to each other? :dance: Okay enough of the dumbass homo fantasies. Take care taner

I'm 164 and I'm really skinny. Going down to 115 could pretty detrimental, thats like anarexia weight. I wish I weighed 180 pounds, and acne free too (: Sounds like you will have a good time with 120 mgs. good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Jay, it's good to have you with us...be warned, this a LONG post...

Please please PLEASE don't take this the wrong way...but I'm a little worried about you buddy. Hear me out, please...ultimately this is between you and your doctor, but I just want to make sure you have considered a few things.

First and foremost, 120 mg for someone your weight is A LOT of Accutane. I'm not suprised that you're breaking out pretty badly; when I had my very first 'tane meeting with my dermatologist, she told me that high doses almost always make people's faces explode with acne. In a way that's a good thing, because it shows that your skin is purging itself of all the crap that has lurked beneath the surface for years, but at the same time, it can be a terrible thing as well. If you take skin that is really delicate and mix it with massively bad acne, it can result in some irreversible scarring. Plus, you are putting a cream on your skin that you really shouldn't. My derm told me that topical chemicals are probably the worst thing you can do to yourself while on Accutane, apart from drinking heavy amounts of alcohol or not seeking help if you experience really serious side effects. She said that any kind of chemical can make the dryness and irritation 1000% worse...I hate to be a doubter, but how experienced is your dermatologist???

Secondly, I am really concerned about your state of mind. In very rare cases, as you are probably aware, Accutane has been linked to mood swings, and even occasionally, depression. This is not something you wanna mess around with...people have committed suicide while on this stuff. And I don't care how bad your skin is, NOTHING should make you feel like you have nothing to live for. I realize you didn't exactly express a desire to end your own life in your original post, but you did express that you have turned your back on your religion, and that you feel like you shouldn't go to this dance that you've been looking forward to for almost a year. Plus, you admitted that you want to lose almost 20 lbs off your already skinny frame. All of this, to me, sounds like not just one but a collection of red flags. Accutane is supposed to help your skin, not make you lose confidence in every other aspect of your life.

Thirdly (and I promise, this is my last point), going on a diet while taking 'tane doesn't seem like a good idea to me. This, again, is something that I think you really need to discuss with your doctor. Disregarding the fact that you are already skinny, diets almost inevitably result in a slight nutrient deficiency. Accutane is really, really hard on pretty much every part of your body, including your skin (obviously), your joints/muscles, and your liver. A nutrient deficiency will only exacerbate the side effects...I have no idea what would happen (maybe nothing would happen), but I can only imagine. I'm thinking that your muscles and joints would be the killer; without adequate protein and fat, your body isn't going to be getting the building blocks it needs, and the presence of Accutane in your body is only going to make it worse.

As I said before, I'm not a doctor (freshman chemistry made sure of that). This is your decision, and if you feel like 120 mg a day is the best solution, then by all means, go for it. But please just consider some of the stuff that I've said...I said them with the best intentions. I'm only trying to help. :)

Take care of yourself, and keep us posted. We're here for you. ::hugs::

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Jay, it's good to have you with us...be warned, this a LONG post...

Please please PLEASE don't take this the wrong way...but I'm a little worried about you buddy. Hear me out, please...ultimately this is between you and your doctor, but I just want to make sure you have considered a few things.

First and foremost, 120 mg for someone your weight is A LOT of Accutane. I'm not suprised that you're breaking out pretty badly; when I had my very first 'tane meeting with my dermatologist, she told me that high doses almost always make people's faces explode with acne. In a way that's a good thing, because it shows that your skin is purging itself of all the crap that has lurked beneath the surface for years, but at the same time, it can be a terrible thing as well. If you take skin that is really delicate and mix it with massively bad acne, it can result in some irreversible scarring. Plus, you are putting a cream on your skin that you really shouldn't. My derm told me that topical chemicals are probably the worst thing you can do to yourself while on Accutane, apart from drinking heavy amounts of alcohol or not seeking help if you experience really serious side effects. She said that any kind of chemical can make the dryness and irritation 1000% worse...I hate to be a doubter, but how experienced is your dermatologist???

Secondly, I am really concerned about your state of mind. In very rare cases, as you are probably aware, Accutane has been linked to mood swings, and even occasionally, depression. This is not something you wanna mess around with...people have committed suicide while on this stuff. And I don't care how bad your skin is, NOTHING should make you feel like you have nothing to live for. I realize you didn't exactly express a desire to end your own life in your original post, but you did express that you have turned your back on your religion, and that you feel like you shouldn't go to this dance that you've been looking forward to for almost a year. Plus, you admitted that you want to lose almost 20 lbs off your already skinny frame. All of this, to me, sounds like not just one but a collection of red flags. Accutane is supposed to help your skin, not make you lose confidence in every other aspect of your life.

Thirdly (and I promise, this is my last point), going on a diet while taking 'tane doesn't seem like a good idea to me. This, again, is something that I think you really need to discuss with your doctor. Disregarding the fact that you are already skinny, diets almost inevitably result in a slight nutrient deficiency. Accutane is really, really hard on pretty much every part of your body, including your skin (obviously), your joints/muscles, and your liver. A nutrient deficiency will only exacerbate the side effects...I have no idea what would happen (maybe nothing would happen), but I can only imagine. I'm thinking that your muscles and joints would be the killer; without adequate protein and fat, your body isn't going to be getting the building blocks it needs, and the presence of Accutane in your body is only going to make it worse.

As I said before, I'm not a doctor (freshman chemistry made sure of that). This is your decision, and if you feel like 120 mg a day is the best solution, then by all means, go for it. But please just consider some of the stuff that I've said...I said them with the best intentions. I'm only trying to help. :)

Take care of yourself, and keep us posted. We're here for you. ::hugs::

My doctor told me they had to put that warning on there for the kid that committed suicide but also said there is no facts that accutane led to suicide...first reason was the kid was an alcoholic before even going on accutane and second reason his parents were divorced

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree...my doctor told me the exact same thing: there's no scientific proof that 'tane causes people to have suicidal thoughts. But I always believe that it's best to err on the side of caution, and that the depression is always something that you need to watch out for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh Beany. I feel very very very very happy to know that you're concerned. I don't want you to worry though, I wouldn't want you to stress out over my silly decisions.

Thank you anyway for responding you sound like an extremely nice person. To answer your question about my derm being experienced. . . He has treated quite a few people with acne. he told me that he has used different methods such as topical meds. He wanted to put me on Retin-A and Benzaclin but I told him that I had already tried many benzoyle peroxide treatments and I didn't want to go on Retin-A. He told me that the cases he has treated result in "not such great" end-results. Another on of his patients who is on Accutane for the second time experinced a comeback after 2 years..... she's older already... i think he said she is 25 or something like that. He was also very excited to know that I wanted to go on Accutane because he wanted to try something new. He wanted to start me off at a fairly standard dosage and introduce me to as much accutane as possible before he let me start the routine 5 months. So far..... i see a lot of "purgin" it's nasty but for the last few days It has been clearing up. The girl that sits next to me in my Trig. class told me that I looked like my skin was clearing up. It made me so happy and embarrassed at the same time.

I will be staying on 120MG/day if my blood tests allow it for another 4 months, not 5. i don't feel too bad. My muscles are doing fine... I am workingout because i want to lose some weight and I want to just feel better about myself so i am on a diet.

I tried starving for a while.... it didn't work because I am not strong enough to go through with starving myself. I have settled into a great routine, however. I am eating lots of food and compensating by working out a lot. I guess what you could say is that I want to appear 115lbs...... but I want to weigh 145 or something along those lines.... I want to be slim and strong.

So please dn't worry. I think i might end up going to Winter Formal after all. If i don't ... it's not the end of the world... I'll just go next year ....

well guys..... thanks for responding... i really appreciate it.

oh ya... silly me.... i forgot to update about my skin.

okay .... it's day 58 of Accutane and I have been on 120Mg/per/day for 7 days...... I feel fine. I am brekaing out a lot, but I am healing faster than before. I believe it is the Topical solution my derm prescribed.

oh yea... almost forgot (my derm didn't want to prescribe the topical erythromycin but he did it so that my existing nodules/cysts/lesions wouldn't get infected.

okay.... that's all for now

........ THANKS for the support guys!

-jay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 58... soon you'll be right as rain. Don't worry! :dance: It does sound as though your derm is experimenting on you, because yeah 120 is a lot of shit. I've read a LOT of logs online, though, and it seems the higher the dosage the less likelihood of acne returning.

Enjoy your winter formal dude, go with a nice sweet boy and hold hands :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow..120mg/per day... man .. that's a lot..but its all right.....keep beliving and you would succeedd.....cheers

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WHy hello there everything! .... oops sorry I am kind of tired and i don't realize what i'm typing.. i meant "EVERYONE"

So...

How's everyone doing? I just finished applying the stupid topical solution my derm gave me... yes.. it burns like I don't know... the worst burn you could imagine.

I AM GOING TO WINTER FORMAL!! yay!

I am kind of bummed out though. I was having dinner with my mother my 10 year old nephew and my grandmama. My Grandma kind of has Alzheimer's so she kept on telling my mom " why don't you take your son to a dermatologist"

The first 2 times it was okay.... then around the 4th time she said it I no longer felt sorry for her and her stupid ass Disease I felt like saying "Bitch !! you already said the same fucking thing like 100000 times!! what the fuck is your problem?" UGHHHHHHHH ARRRRRRRRRRRRGh!!!!! i lost my appetite and went into the ugly Chinese restaurant's restroom and cried like an idiot.... there was no point in crying... i just did it because i had nothing else to do..... everyone was staring bcause they're stupid..... gosh I HATE HAVING THIS MONSTER ON MY FACE!!!!

but you know what guys? My friends at school have been telling me that Im clearing up... i just modestly say thanks.... they have no idea how happy it makes me feel when they say things like that.

So... i don't really have much else to say.... so here comes the update...

DAY.... i don't know.... let me check....... i ALWAYS DO THIS!!!! GHEESH!! okay ... wait a sec.... (hahah who does that? who types in "wait")..... DAY 62!!! yay...... i have been on 120 MG/day for .......11 days!! how exciting!!

okay..... so... Im vegetarian now.. i think i already established that... if i didn't well there you go.

I have been working out so i feel a little better.... oh yes... and my face is still shitty....... what can I say...

i can't wiat to start clearing up....... maybe I'll start shoppin again .... I LOVE SHOPPING!!! it's my lfe..... and acne has taken that from me.....

i am so angry right now!! i can't even type because i don't know... i have to leave before i get dumb and start crying or something....

i LOVE YOU GUYS!!! hope to read your responses soon......

-JAY

(almost forgot.... what's the deal with Emu Oil? ... just wondering......)

okay buh bye .....

bestestestest wishes to you all......

-JAY!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG my face hurts.

I really have NOTHING to say or update... my face still looks like shit and I still think I'm ugly. I'm still pissed off at the fact that I wont be going to my Dance anymore.... and i keep on changing my mind on EVERYTHING!!!

I am in a horrible situation..... my good friend and I see each other every day..... and I think he's gorgeous... i have had a crush on him since september I don't know what to do.... i hate him because i like him so much.... I hate my face.... if I didn't have such a fucking ugly face I would telll him how I feel about him ..... And i jst... ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHI DONT KNOW!~!!!!! Im so angry!!! I hate my stupid face!? i hate it!!! I've been breaking out like world war 1!!! I don't know why it shose me? what the hell did I ever do wrong?

gosh!! it's not fair!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!! i hate having to turtle in my shell every tme i approach anyone i feel is too good looking to offend by having them look at me.... and I fucking hate the pity-filled stares that all grown ups give me.... the fake smiles!! i don't fucking need them..... fuck!!! i hate acne so fucking much!!!! you kno how much i hate it? I would be willing to give myself up for the sake of you all. I would be willing to sacrifice myself and my entire body for the sake of the world's acne-prone teens and people in general i mean to say that I would be willing to live with zits and cysts all over my face and all over my body and everywhere just so that there would NEVER be a zit on this world EVER AGAIN!!! that's how much I hate it... i would be the ACne JESUS.....

well... it's day 64 of Accutane .... and day blah blah blah of 120MG/day.... it doesn't matter I am fucking ugly as shit with this monster on my face...

take care people!!! thanks for being here for moi

-jay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG my face hurts.

I really have NOTHING to say or update... my face still looks like shit and I still think I'm ugly. I'm still pissed off at the fact that I wont be going to my Dance anymore.... and i keep on changing my mind on EVERYTHING!!!

I am in a horrible situation..... my good friend and I see each other every day..... and I think he's gorgeous... i have had a crush on him since september I don't know what to do.... i hate him because i like him so much.... I hate my face.... if I didn't have such a fucking ugly face I would telll him how I feel about him ..... And i jst... ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHI DONT KNOW!~!!!!! Im so angry!!! I hate my stupid face!? i hate it!!! I've been breaking out like world war 1!!! I don't know why it shose me? what the hell did I ever do wrong?

gosh!! it's not fair!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!! i hate having to turtle in my shell every tme i approach anyone i feel is too good looking to offend by having them look at me.... and I fucking hate the pity-filled stares that all grown ups give me.... the fake smiles!! i don't fucking need them..... fuck!!! i hate acne so fucking much!!!! you kno how much i hate it? I would be willing to give myself up for the sake of you all. I would be willing to sacrifice myself and my entire body for the sake of the world's acne-prone teens and people in general i mean to say that I would be willing to live with zits and cysts all over my face and all over my body and everywhere just so that there would NEVER be a zit on this world EVER AGAIN!!! that's how much I hate it... i would be the ACne JESUS.....

well... it's day 64 of Accutane .... and day blah blah blah of 120MG/day.... it doesn't matter I am fucking ugly as shit with this monster on my face...

take care people!!! thanks for being here for moi

-jay

:lol2: Hehe, that's so kind... sort of. You would be cool having acne so nobody else would have it? =P :|

Even I wouldn't do that LOL. Not if I was the only one in the world with acne >_< :ninja:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jay,

I can completely relate to the problems you are having right now. Acne sucks, constant depression about it sucks, and oh god.... 120 MG of accutane?? thats going to be tough as hell too... but you know, i tell myself that its important to focus on the final results, and accutane most likely WILL CLEAR YOU UP.

So lets keep on the positives...

Regarding social life, I too have curtailed alot of my outings to nights and dark places such as clubs only since acne. although i see my guy friends often I never see my girlfriends personally at least not in day time. If i ran into them at school, then im freaking panicking because of acne, but oh well what can we do about it? Just wait til we clear right? So I suppose being depressed about the situation only worsens your suffering, so i try to take my mind off of acne (which doesn't work most of the time but...)

Either way, I know no words of mine will be of any comfort really, so I'll stop my rambling here. Im just going to say keep on fightin' and i'll be reading your logs too.

Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DAY #20 of 120MG/day.

DAY #70 of ACUTANE.

MY FACE IS FUCKING RETARDED. I AM SO UGLY. I am I am I am. I hate my fucking face. It is still breaking out with BIG ONES.... they are nasty. Predominantly on my cheeks. My forehead is pretty clear.... wait NO it's not. I had to get a very short haircut because if I don't the hair that touches my forehead and temples will break me out. ITS FUCKING RETARDED i want to let my hair grow out but i can't i am too fucking acne-prone. I am really sorry for cursing so much. It is not the real me. I am more reserved with my fowl languauge. Its just that my face makes me SUPER SUPER SUPER ANGRY!!! you know what? i didn't go to school today because of my ugly face.

I hate interating with people because they stare!!! I wish I could wear a mas until I am done with the course.

On a happy note... i rediscovered a great song. It's sooooo cool. Any of you heard of "Lady Marmalade" it's a great song. the music isn't as great as some songs. But the vocals are crazycool.

yes....

on another happy note. I realized that I am taking 120MG/day and that I will be taking 120MG/day next month two so I wont break out as badly next month. Or at least i am hoping. I broke out badly after being upped from 40 a day to 80 and badly once again after being upped from 80 to 120 so i wont get a "monthly outpour" this upcoming month. I HOPE.....

I think I deserve to start clearing now.

I have been vegetarian for a while now. And I think it concludes that Diet really has NO drastic affect on acne. at least in my case. I don't eat meats because i am afraid that the hormones used to plump the animals is detrimental to my health and immune system. I am drinking plenty of soy milk to give me the fat that i need to absorb the accutane. and I am feeling pretty good about my diet/ body. i would still like to gain some weight like 5 pounds in muscle. I have some excess fat that I would REALLY REALLY REALLY like to get rid of . it's nasty .... but hey.... i would gladly keep my fat and lose the acne. you know what? the boy i am infatuated with has a bit of acne. He just has blackheads on his nose and a few small zits here and there. He's really cute though. the few zits he was are small and although noticeable they make him look cute..... if you know what i mean. if you dont then im confused and i dont know what im sayin...

wellll that's the scoop.....

my face is shitty

REALLLY REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY SHITTY.

it's only day 70..... so..... maybe I'll clear in another couple of weeks.

Soooooooooooooo .... thats it

i hate myself right now.... supid acne....

thank for being here to turn to.

I LOVE Y'ALL!!!

-jay

OMG I AM SO SCARED FOR THE TOPICAL SOLUTION AFTER MY SHOWER!!!! i just posted like 5 minutes ago.... but i am about to shower and then i have to apply this stupid stupid erythromycin... ouch it burns.... but its for my good.... thanks again for listening

-jay

off to my shower i go

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×