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Ok, I'm sure most of you remember about me bitching and all that crap, and saying I looked like shit and my acne was killing my life and social shit with my friends. I came in here with my head down, discussing with you guys how ppl treated other ppl with acne differently, then you guys ensured me that I should be grateful to have such awesome friends.

Well I am pretty clearer than I was before, hell I'd be like 90% (confidence wise) if I didnt have my fucking red spot inbetween my damn eyes, lol, then I'd look "normal"? lol. Fucking awkward pimples, well whatever. I now am dealing with my redness, and right now Im using Proactiv (yes, I know, fuck PA, lol. but I like it, and it likes me?) well I finally started acting somewhat normal, more confident, but i still feel broke.

Dont you guys feel the same way when you started doing shit? Like your are more anxious? A bit peranoid still? Sure, redmarks, but dont you think ppl still look? or is it just us? My friends are beautiful fucks, lol, but they dont care about my face - I mean, I think they dont, but dont you ever question yourself otherwise? Like..."hmmm, maybe they just dont wanna say something?" Maybe they dont wanna say, 'Hey your pimples are going away' or shit like that cuz they might offend you...u know. I dont know, I STILL dont feel the same.

My friends are cool, my family is cool, but no matter how much I improve, dont you ever feel you'll never be the same?

I dont wanna start sounding emo, but I still feel empty, I still holdback, Im still, "They probably think..."

fuck. acne does really fuck with your state of mind

I just need SOMEONE to be, "Dude u look alot better" but I know that will nvr come, oh well. Just gotta play it by ear. Oh yeah, and Im still a bit afraid of daylight, just a lil, not so much. Baby step?lol..

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You know what i was thinking though man, that when we enetered school again from our break, I was out of town for a week...so I did like nothing for the other 2 weeks. but I said I was out of town with family for the whole vacation. My friends were all, "dude we missed you, where the fuck have you been?" and all that shit. I do feel they love me, lol. I was surprised how quick they were all on me (not ina gay way) lol when I started to talk to em again (I FEEL LIKE A DICK for ditching em for like 2 weeks...depression?) and now Im back to normal...idk. like you said, baby steps.

Prolly they dont care. Prolly no one cares. They like you for YOU?

lol.

idk, i just need some answers you know? I still feel blah.

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hey you! lol i remember when u first joined lol ahh well

glad youre feelin better, but yeah, ive changed a lot, i assume thats y im really mature at 16

u have any pics? maybe i can be that dude lol :)

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Guest tenshigirl25

i don't think your situation has anything to with acne..your still paranoid over this looking 'normal' thing.. if your life feels empty it's bcause your not satisfied with your life, not some red marks... ppl out there with pimples all over their face and they are ok if they have friends, good job or family or whatever.. maybe u have fake friends? maybe u need to do something different? its physcological with u now, because u said yourself, u are clear.. if i saw u in the street, i wouldn't even notice that shit.. if u look good, u look good... do u really honestly beleive that because of some red marks or a few zits is making u feel this way? so held back? there is a lot more going on with u, then just appearance..maybe u need to be real about it? anyway, hop u feel better soon..

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i got my pics up. yah i know what you mean:

We bleached our hair for Football cuz we made playoffs n won District, but I returned to school for teh "new year" with my brownish hair (looks cooler in person) lol, and I got so many compliments.lol

I bought some awesome Vans Checkerd Blue n some cool shirts (A&F and AE, lol, I know, OH and some cool Senses fail Shirt) I got compliments too, lol.

Chicks still say hi, but I try to be non chalant...but its hard u kno?

I know, I feel good and look good, but STILL....

thats the word. "Still."

idk ppl, im just fucking paranoid. Oh well, me and my friends are gonna get drunk tomorrow, lol, c what i mean, i mean, Im not depressed or anything just like, cautious?

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Guest tenshigirl25

dont take this the wrong way, but i think maybe u just wanna be number 1 or soemthing? lol seriously, have nothing to worry about...

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