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igotmyphilosophy

I can't get over the disappointment I feel

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I need help. I saw a picture of myself and I wanted to cry for hours afterwards, but I was in public, so I just kind of fumbled around looking disgruntled. It's not just the acne/bad skin, it's everything about how I look, and over the past two years or so, I've become increasingly insecure about my personality as well, which is something that I alwayswas confident about. I have so many negative thoughts about myself running through my mind; it's like a constant stream of "Oh, this thing is ugly about you; it's unfortunate b/c you'd have been so much better looking if it wasn't like this" "You're really not attractive. Most people know this, and the ones that think you're attractive just haven't gotten a good look" "You wouldn't even want yourself" "You should have said/done that! What a stupid thing to do!" "No one likes you anymore, not like they used to."

I just can't keep living and thinking like this b/c this is insane. My family has noticed, as have my friends, but they don't really know what I think all the time. It's changing my personality, my life and how I treat other people.

I'm considering going into counseling when school starts, but I thought I'd also ask you guys for your advice.

I'm sad. :cry:

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How is your life right now, aside from this?

Generally, as long as you aren't coincidentally surrounded by multiple arseholes, you will do fine as long as you have a good personality. I'm guessing that you do pretty much do fine, at least friendship wise, although if you have a low opinion of yourself physically (or are significantly unattractive, it must unfortunately be said), it might be hard to find a partner.

This negative loop is going to destroy you sooner or later. Maybe counselling might help, maybe it might make you more dissatisfied with yourself. I don't know what to say, it's your choice.

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I can relate to you.........especially over the summer when all I could do was think about my skin.......I mean all I did was go to work then come home and think about what I looked like

School changed things a bit ..........got my mind on other things like readings etc

But I think if I were in your situation, id talk to a counselor about how I feel and go from there

Or just let loose with what you feel to someone who you know will listen and understand what your going through.......... that's what I did that and it's helped me out alot

sometimes talking is the best therapy :angel:

good luck igmp best wishes this year to

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Guest tenshigirl25

maybe u need a mini-makeover? new clothes, hair..? always makes me feel a bit better and mre attractive.

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thatguy, it's not just the acne that bothers me, it's everything. i think i have ridiculously high expectations for myself that i need to get over. i'm becoming a more shallow and stressed person each time i think like this.

proverbial, my life generally is very busy and i am grateful for what i have. i work, volunteer, am involved in clubs, go to school, etc, and i do alright in all of them. (though i don't do superb academically which REALLY bothers me b/c it used to be that i thought of myself as smart and funny and i feel now that i am niether.) ever since i left high school, it hasn't been difficult finding interest from the opposite sex, but i think that's b/c girls have it easier in getting attention from guys than vice versa. BUT, most of the interest received from guys isn't "quality", if you know what i mean. from my experience, they usually are just trying to get laid or feel less lonely, not really get to know another person... however, right now i'm not really interested in finding a guy, i'd like to just feel good about myself.

fuman, hi! :D i agree that telling other people about my problems would make me feel better, but i'd rather not talk to friends about it. one of my absolute closest friends knows how much this stuff bothers me, but since she has also gone through similar feelings, she doesn't have alot of advice to offer, although she listens really well and sympathetically. also, talking to my friends about this makes me feel like an ungrateful, shallow, self-absorbed moron. :(

tenshi, i do need new clothes. i don't think i've gotten new, nice clothes in like 2 years. i've bought a bunch of sloppy t-shirts along the way, but nothing really nice, which i should b/c i think nice clothes makes you feel good about yourself. i also need to lose weight, and i feel like there's no point in buying clothes now if i'm going to lose weight but i've been putting off the weight loss for, oh, i don't know, 4 years now... :redface:

anyways, thank you all for your advice. i'll let you know when i feel better and what changed.

take care.

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I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, IGMP. *hug*

I think therapy is an excellent idea, if you're committed to the process it's a great way to start making the changes you need to make in order to be happier. For sure it's not the easy way out (if you do it right) but it'll be worth it, I promise.

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I'm crying right now because of the way I look as I type. How strange.

I got a really painful breakout, and three big bumps on my neck. My neck is the worst place in my opinion, I hate those more than any others. I just want to start getting my skin fixed .. but I don't know how to go about it. I'm poor, but I have been desperately saving up money to try and fix it. I just don't know what to do. I can't look in the mirror without becoming upset.

All I can sum up about myself, is I am damaged goods. A would-be pretty girl if it weren't for her disgusting skin. And nobody seems to understand this about me. That to fix me, I need to fix my skin. I'll go to a therapist AFTER I fix my face only. Because I need all the money to go towards fixing my face.

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Oh my god , I've been feeling like that alot too lately. I'm always soooo negative about myself. I feel really uncomfortable in my own skin and I always feel like the ugliest person on earth. I feel like I'm inferior than others and i feel like my boyfriend deserve someone better looking than me. The only place i feel comfortable is in my own bed. When ever I'm out in public I just want to hide under a shell because I'm sooo ashamed of my face. I think it has alot to do with my mind , I don't know why i'm soo obsessed over my face. So yeh I totally can relate to how ur feeling.

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Guest tenshigirl25

Oh my god , I've been feeling like that alot too lately. I'm always soooo negative about myself. I feel really uncomfortable in my own skin and I always feel like the ugliest person on earth. I feel like I'm inferior than others and i feel like my boyfriend deserve someone better looking than me. The only place i feel comfortable is in my own bed. When ever I'm out in public I just want to hide under a shell because I'm sooo ashamed of my face. I think it has alot to do with my mind , I don't know why i'm soo obsessed over my face. So yeh I totally can relate to how ur feeling.

i saw ur photo and ur very pretty..

but to philosophy..go out and get those new clothes..do somehting with your hair..feel good about yourself again..i sometimes feel im stuck in a rut and thn i get a new outfit and i feel a little bit better. we need to treat ourselves sometimes..

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I feel your pain, cause thats how I feel most of the time.

I've learned to avoid mirrors and duck oout of pictures so I don't have to face myself. I think its mostly to do with all the red marks left after the acne.

Therapy would be good I think, I say give it a shot.

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It's rare for any trace of my acne to show up in a picture...mainly because of extreme makeup. I do avoid taking fun pics with friends because I'm worried it will look really bad in the lighting, and then I would be forced to destroy the picture! Once I'm upset about my skin, I start to think about my personality, too, and I get really depressed. I start to feel useless and know I will die without even making a dent in this world, like I was never really here. Then expectations of myself may increase to levels I just can't do. I'm a lot better lately because I came to acceptance. My acne has improved as well, so I'm not sure if I started feeling better because of skin improvement or if it was the other way around. I've never tried therapy, but hopefully it will help you. At least you will get your problem out there.

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i'd like to update everyone on what's up in this little peapod mind of mine, and let you guys know that, no i haven't dropped dead in a puddle of my own salty tears.

anyways, this past week i've basically stopped most (but not all) of my bad habits due to my circumstances (i was busy). i've stopped obsessively checking myself out (even though others this week have told me on numerous occasions that i look pink and flushed -- God bless you accutane!), i've stopped thinking negatively about my looks and personality, and i've stopped engaging in crappy and draining pastimes (like spending hours and hours on the internet).

i started going out of the house more, finding more things to do and places to see; i've been laughing and excercising ALOT more and i've been trying to deal with stress in a rational and brisk way. i even saw a video myself and i actually thought "i'm cute! i'm far from perfect, but i'm cute and I would like me if i weren't me!", which is something i haven't thought in years.

these changes were made only through circumstance, but i thought today, if life is so good without this bullshit, then why do i keep on returning to it? so i'm going to try to continue down this trail i was plopped onto, and hopefully everything will go well.

i'd like to thank everyone for their kindness and advice, i really appreciated being heard and cared for by other people. i haven't ruled out counseling just yet, but i'll see how everything goes and let you guys know.

thanks and take care!

:]

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i'd like to update everyone on what's up in this little peapod mind of mine, and let you guys know that, no i haven't dropped dead in a puddle of my own salty tears.

anyways, this past week i've basically stopped most (but not all) of my bad habits due to my circumstances (i was busy). i've stopped obsessively checking myself out (even though others this week have told me on numerous occasions that i look pink and flushed -- God bless you accutane!), i've stopped thinking negatively about my looks and personality, and i've stopped engaging in crappy and draining pastimes (like spending hours and hours on the internet).

i started going out of the house more, finding more things to do and places to see; i've been laughing and excercising ALOT more and i've been trying to deal with stress in a rational and brisk way. i even saw a video myself and i actually thought "i'm cute! i'm far from perfect, but i'm cute and I would like me if i weren't me!", which is something i haven't thought in years.

these changes were made only through circumstance, but i thought today, if life is so good without this bullshit, then why do i keep on returning to it? so i'm going to try to continue down this trail i was plopped onto, and hopefully everything will go well.

i'd like to thank everyone for their kindness and advice, i really appreciated being heard and cared for by other people. i haven't ruled out counseling just yet, but i'll see how everything goes and let you guys know.

thanks and take care!

:]

happy you got your life in order somewhat and yeah it really does help not obsessing over your skin as much =) my philosophy is try to stay positive

cheers igmp =)

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yea, acne really ruined my self esteem. its just been starting to come back over the last year and im starting feel a little better about myself. acne has really been a burden in my life and has changed me in many ways i will never know. all you can do is take what you have now and work with it. life is amazing and im still trying to figure it out. shit will get better one day. one day.

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