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I don't really have friends at school (I'm in college now). I used to be with some people at school but I stopped hanging out with them because they're making me feel like shit. I already feel bad about myself and my skin, but they still have the guts to insult me. They don't really say it straight to my face, but they do it in a "nicer" way. Sometimes I just shrug it off and laugh at it, but deep inside it's tearing me apart.

Example:

there were 3 girls - the other one was me

girl 1 - You can't really have everything you know... you can be sexy but have bad skin...

girl 2 - yah....

girl 1 - Me? I'm big but my face is ok....

ME - *silent. just listening to the conversation

girl 2 - what about me?... what can you say about me?.....

girl 1 - you have good body....

girl 2 - what about..... (she started naming some other people from our class) and finally she asked girl 1 about me

girl 2 - ahhh....... umm.... (kinda laughing). well, she's smart, lol.

ME - just trying to ignore

Well, that happened last year. This year, I don't hangout with them much anymore because now I know I'm not considered part of them anymore because "I have a bad skin". It was just one of the examples. The recent one was being taken out from the group (a group work at school). That just lit a fire inside me. I hated them since.

But you know what. I don't really give a crap about them now even though I will see them again on Monday when I get back to class. It's just kinda hard because I have no one to hang-out with or talk to now in school. Since highschool I've been a loner. Suicidal too. I thought college would open a new window for me, I was wrong.

Anyways, I just feel like sharing something because these past week I've been crying a lot. Been thinking about so many things. But I know I'm going to be alright.

Have a good evening everyone!!!!!

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Guest tenshigirl25

maybe u will make nw friends in college..after all nobody knows u there..maybe u are giving out negative vibes like u dont want to talk to anyone? are u approaching people or ar u waiting for them to approach u? i had this problem once when i blamed everyone else..i agree it was good for u to leave those kind of friends, but was it really because of your skin or because u never stood up for yourself and your self esteem seemed low? but those girls were bitches. i can understand that too though, because of acne..but now u have a new chance with college..i kept to myself for a while and it helped me grow but after a while, u need people around u or u will get depression and become sick. u seem like a nice girl i think is just a confidence thing.

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Yes it could be that you were not confident enough and maybe you didn't socialize like the way they did, maybe that's why they sort of just not include you in their "clik." Maybe if you were more outgoing and stuff like that, they wouldn't mind being with you instead of a shy person all the time. yea it could be hard but you have to work on it to improve yourself because its now or later, either way you'll have to end up working on it. OR they could have just been losers. trust me poeple who talk too much shit about people arn't really cool people. who the fuk gives a sh1t about another persons appearences, they must be doing it to make themselves feel better ahhahaha what a joke.

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I must admit. I kinda shut them off and excluded myself from them just because I'm having this feelings that they don't want me. You know like, they hangout outside school (to the mall, etc). Another thing, they always say bad things about other girls so no wonder they're also doing the same thing to me. But there are some other girls who talk to me in class aside from "them" which makes me feel ok. My mom tells me that it doesn't matter how you look on the outside, but if you have a good attitude, thats what counts. because you know my problem is I feel so sorry for myself that when I'm around other people I feel like they're making fun of me all the time. Even though it's just all in me head. It's bad... I need help.

Thanks for the reply. It made me think of myself and how I've been treating other people lately.

by the way, I've also thought of maybe the reason Girl 1 was talking like that is because she's insecure about herself. There was actually only one who talks like that. The rest are just a bunch of followers. And that's what I hate about that "click" or whatever. There's like a leader, who is like the boss in everything (groupwork, she decides where to sit on the cafe, etc). And I was thinking "Who the hell she thinks she is?" One time she asked "Who wants to be in my group?" Imagine these are no teenagers! but they still act like those groupies, I mean like "c'mon". And I didn't want to part of any group because I want everyone to be equal. We're all the same anyway. But that girl... I really think she's insecure and I became her prey so she could feel good.... for awhile.

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ixeen or w/e ur name is i forgot, you know? you seem like a cool person, i'd definitly hang out with you no doubt. yea keep up the positive attitude, im serious. There is nothing worse than someone who is you know feeling bad about themselves and then having a negative attitude to make it worse on themselves because people wont like you then, you know what I mean? yea it could be hard to find some "close" friends but thats the thing, "close" friends are hard to find because you'd have to find the right people, and there are "close" friends that don't become "close" anymore its the way of life. you eventually just have to get used to it and sorta work around it and sooner or later you'll find some other friends on the corner. wtf i just thought i saw somthing at the corner of my eye, im not spooked or anything but...anyways whats up? dont hesitate just talk i'll be listenin

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There is nothing worse than someone who is you know feeling bad about themselves and then having a negative attitude to make it worse on themselves because people wont like you then, you know what I mean?

So true. I totally agree. One time there was this girl who keeps saying "I can't do this..... I'm shy, I'm so nervous..... blah.." and I remembered being so irritated listening to her complaints. And I thought to myself If I won't have that confidence, how would I expect other people to like me? Because If I'm getting pissed from hearing complaints, then others might probably feel the same way to me.

Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it.

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There is nothing worse than someone who is you know feeling bad about themselves and then having a negative attitude to make it worse on themselves because people wont like you then, you know what I mean?

So true. I totally agree. One time there was this girl who keeps saying "I can't do this..... I'm shy, I'm so nervous..... blah.." and I remembered being so irritated listening to her complaints. And I thought to myself If I won't have that confidence, how would I expect other people to like me? Because If I'm getting pissed from hearing complaints, then others might probably feel the same way to me.

Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it.

I just wish I wasn't an ugly piece of shit!!! :wall:

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This reminds of the time I was hanging out with my friends. Like the time I got my first DUI comeing from my friends and then a year later I decided to headout to a party . This one girl knew I got a DUI and seen a beer in my hand . She asked me for my car keys and I said "I'm only going to be drinking 1 beer". She kept demanding me to give her my keys and also started talking shit on me to her friends about my 1 and only DUI I got last year. Her friends started to gangup on me to strip my car keys away from me. I tried to explain my situation that I had to getup early the following day and couldn't stay to wait for her to give back my keys. But still they continued to gang rape me for my car keys thinking I was lieing. Finally my so called buddy tricked me and stole my keys from my pocket. I was thinking he had my back but I was so wrong. I ended up staying the night sleeping on the goddamn floor drunk as hell.

This goes to show your friends are the devil!!

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This reminds of the time I was hanging out with my friends. Like the time I got my first DUI comeing from my friends and then a year later I decided to headout to a party . This one girl knew I got a DUI and seen a beer in my hand . She asked me for my car keys and I said "I'm only going to be drinking 1 beer". She kept demanding me to give her my keys and also started talking shit on me to her friends about my 1 and only DUI I got last year. Her friends started to gangup on me to strip my car keys away from me. I tried to explain my situation that I had to getup early the following day and couldn't stay to wait for her to give back my keys. But still they continued to gang rape me for my car keys thinking I was lieing. Finally my so called buddy tricked me and stole my keys from my pocket. I was thinking he had my back but I was so wrong. I ended up staying the night sleeping on the goddamn floor drunk as hell.

This goes to show your friends are the devil!!

Yeah you should have demanded head at least in exchange for the car keys. JEEZ! Friends can be so mean!

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-to freakboy

lol why do you think your ugly? did someone else tell you that? you know it's not healthy to say that to yourself lol, i could understand if someone said that to you but c'mon honestly they would have to what? 7-10years old? instead of seeing yourself as ugly, try seeing that cool look you might have on you, try some new hairstyle, ohhhh better yet maybe some new clothes, IF your feeling good, chances are your confidence will be too and you'll feel like a new person and then you could like maybe enjoy life. just dont fall into that trap again where you feel sad its not good. and f ur past couple of days were rough, try not to think of it but of the future, what you could do to improve urself just dont think too much because u'd daydream too far off and then when things dont go as you planned you wont feel good know what i mean?

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I was thinking he had my back but I was so wrong

one of the worst feelings ever. right at the point where you think they're going to be there for you, they're not. I hate that. that's why I don't use the word "friend" a lot because only a few people I know whom I would consider a "friend" the rest are just buddies, or classmates, etc.

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yo for real? 1 beer? maybe she just wanted to take ur keys so you could spend the night, instead you got DRUNK you loser, you maybe coulda had some pussy...weaaak.

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-to freakboy

lol why do you think your ugly? did someone else tell you that? you know it's not healthy to say that to yourself lol, i could understand if someone said that to you but c'mon honestly they would have to what? 7-10years old? instead of seeing yourself as ugly, try seeing that cool look you might have on you, try some new hairstyle, ohhhh better yet maybe some new clothes, IF your feeling good, chances are your confidence will be too and you'll feel like a new person and then you could like maybe enjoy life. just dont fall into that trap again where you feel sad its not good. and f ur past couple of days were rough, try not to think of it but of the future, what you could do to improve urself just dont think too much because u'd daydream too far off and then when things dont go as you planned you wont feel good know what i mean?

If you saw my picture you would agree with me that I'm probably EXTREMELY ugly. Girls are disgusted looking at me and when I approach a girl she will IGNORE me immediately. Not only that, but even some of my guy friends are disgusted being with me in public. Im sick of this life. I've tried different hairstlyes but to no avail.

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freakboy damn the way you talk...kinda FREAKY, LOL. im sure your not ugly, its all in your head. plus if those friends of yours dont like bein around you sometimes why bother even hangin with them? wtf are you doin? I'D rather go eat lunch by myself and shit like that rather than chillin with them no lies. i sometimes want to be alone cuz i enjoy thinking sometimes but for real dont even chill with people like that, cuz if they like that to you, your probably weak to peer preasure too, am i right?

ixean see what i mean, i know how you really are, you should be the most popular girl i know. hehe yea i know its hard bein like this in real life but its not hard, sometimes i get like this in real life, sometimes im quiet, sometimes im hyperactive. depends on the mood but i know your capable of pulling out things like this. im happy... your good at this ur good

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freakboy damn the way you talk...kinda FREAKY, LOL. im sure your not ugly, its all in your head. plus if those friends of yours dont like bein around you sometimes why bother even hangin with them? wtf are you doin? I'D rather go eat lunch by myself and shit like that rather than chillin with them no lies. i sometimes want to be alone cuz i enjoy thinking sometimes but for real dont even chill with people like that, cuz if they like that to you, your probably weak to peer preasure too, am i right?

ixean see what i mean, i know how you really are, you should be the most popular girl i know. hehe yea i know its hard bein like this in real life but its not hard, sometimes i get like this in real life, sometimes im quiet, sometimes im hyperactive. depends on the mood but i know your capable of pulling out things like this. im happy... your good at this ur good

Check it I am an ugly freak, hence the name. BTW, just out of curiosity, ur a girl rite?

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your wack, i havn't been emotional at all yet. get your facts straight. and no im a man.

Hey man, I was just messin with ya...calm down dont get so EMOTIONAL!!! haha saul good bro

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