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don't do this, don't do that

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Don't eat certain foods & don't drink alcohol.Don't wear any make- up which could block pores. Spend shed loads of money on treatments that do not work & then feel guilty for being so self - indulgent. Cry every day your skin looks like shit while pretending to others that nothing is wrong. Worry about sleeping on face in case it encourages breakouts. Getting up at dawn to lance huge whiteheads & slap make-up on before partner awakes. Reluctant to plan events in case you have bad break out. Feel guilty about crying, after all acne is not life threatening & thousands are suffering every day. Not feeling happy despite beautiful husband & kids. Checking mirror constantly & torturing yourself with what you see. Thinking every little thing will be a jinx and cause a new break out.

I know what it feels like to not have acne and it is amazing. So nice just to feel normal. This breakout has lasted 10 months so far and I am sick of it. Sorry about this long rant. It does not seem fair to keep moaning about my skin to my husband. I'm sure he's sick of it so this is a good way for me to let go of all the hurt I feel.

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Don't apologize. It's perfectly understandible.

When looked at like that, it does seem complicated. I always feel that there must be some way to not feel so restricted, that it must be more simple than we think somehow. It's hard to figure out how. What I've always found frustrating was the time spent on my face every day, getting ready, etc., and days when it was so bad that covering it didn't even help.

The only thing is, acne is a skin disorder, and as with other disorders or illnesses for example, we sometimes have to modify certain things in our lifestyle for it to get better.

As far as food, I think checking for any allergies can be a worthwhile thing, and if anything shows up, we can simply limit or stop our intake of it. That will help instead of just banning so many things (and feeling deprived) but never really being sure if they affected our skin to begin with.

With the rest (ex. alcohol), I think moderation is key.

All we can really do is try to find the source of our acne, and in the meantime, maintain good basic hygiene (cleanse face, wash pillow cases regularly, etc.) and try to be gentle with our skin and reduce stress where we can.

I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling. I know it can be really hard. I'm also so sorry to hear you (like many) have spent so much money on treatments that have not helped enough.

I have cried as well after looking in the mirror and just not feeling good at all with what I saw.

And I know how the guilt can feel in taking into consideration the things you said.

I really hope you find something that can work for you. Can I ask what you've tried so far?

Take care, and know you're not alone.

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Thanks for your reply. I am really upset today and it really good to hear from someone who can relate. I am on spironolactone which has worked for me before and on Monday I am stating Diannette (Diane 35).I looked at the photo in your gallery and like you I feel that I am so totally not photogenic due to deep set eyes and dark shadows under my eyes. However I am not really bothered with this when my skin is clear. May I ask how old you are and what medication / regimeyou are on?

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I think you need to deal with your fear and forget about the acne. If you are constantly worrying then your body responds to that by producing less and less serotonin and other brain chemicals that are vital to well-being which would definently have a negative effect on your nervious system, making you more and more anxious and probably contributing to your break-outs.

I am 18, and I think you are blessed to have your own family. You already have so much, don't let the negative thoughts effect your enjoyment of what you have. Also, I find dwelling on things that could help your skin actually make it worse, you put a lot of emotional expectation on every new product or program, and if it doesn't work then it really hurts. The best rule of thumb is just to eat normally(healthy) and take care of your skin through traditional hygene methods.

Take care.

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Hi. I am lucky to have my family and believe me it sometimes takes me a lot of courage to face the world but my kids have never missed out on anything because of my problems. I will sit through violin lessons etc. even though I am very conscious of my skin. I am also trying not to pass on my negative thought patterns to them as I know you can have acne and still be outgoing and confident. My eldest are 13 & 17 so it is essential to get a grip sometimes - something that is often easier said then done. I try my best.

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Hi Lilith. :angel:

I'm glad if my response was able to help make your day even a little bit easier.

Good luck with the dianette.

I am 22, and have had acne since the age of about 12.

It began as milder (though still inflamed), though at the time I may not have realized it and so it was the beginning of my using different products. Over the years I would say it was more in the moderate category but has ranged to more severe several times (including cystic type acne and painful pimples). I had tried antibiotics, prescribed and over-the-counter topicals, lots of different facial products, clearlight, etc.... Needless to say, some of those treatments seemed to aggravate the case.

The typical was that I would have one or two calmer, clearer days but the rest of the time, it was quite active. I still don't know exactly what the cause of my acne is.

When it is worse, you can notice the red marks more, circles under my eyes as well, large pores (that always seem to be clogged), oily skin (sometimes itchy) that can flake also, whiteheads, blackheads, fine lines and a bit of lack of firmness, dull appearance...

When it is calmer, all of the imperfections are much less noticeable.

At one point it almost seemed to go into remission. I don't know any other way to explain it. It was like those one or two days stretched and became weeks and my skin was more under control. But it returned, and overall, it remains unpredictable.

What I don't like is that if someone would see a picture of me on a good day, they may not believe my face had often been covered in acne. That's how it's quite different. But even on clear days, it is never completely clear and certainly not perfect, but it feels better. It is more manageable.

This past week or two, it has been a bit better, but I feel it may be slowly starting to act up again. At the moment, I am simply using Aveeno Clear Skin bar and Dove Essential Nutrients day moisturizer. For quite some time, I had stopped using common acne ingredients and products. Then more recently when I needed something, I did buy a couple but did not find them helpful.

For quite some time, I have been interesting in making my own natural product. I have always been interested in skin care (probably because of my skin problems) and have become very interested in more natural ingredients. If this project is ever realized, and the product proves to be effective, maybe I can open a little store to make it available in a bigger way and it would be a little way to make an additional income as well. My main goal however is exploring an interest and wanting to help others.

I have been working at creating a survey to help me learn what is important to different people in a product, and find out their needs and concerns. It has gradually evolved into becoming a general health survey as well, as I am hoping it will reveal certain important factors in relation to those with skin troubles (acne and other). I have been doing research, working on the questionnaire, but it is not ready yet as I often get side-tracked with the priorities of life! I am hoping to conduct a minimum of two surveys.

After this, I hope to formulate a product and have a testing period (I would be a guinea pig myself!). It would be very important to me to learn what is good and what can be bettered, if anything. I really want it to help people and be different from other products, and I would not want to eventually market it if I didn't believe in it.

Lilith - even as a parent, it can be difficult, I can imagine. We do not stop being a person with our own insecurites. I think it's wonderful that you try as much as you can to offer the best for your children, even when it's hard. I really hope what you will be doing can be helpful to your skin. Hang in there, and keep us updated ok? Don't lose hope. :angel:

Sorry this was so long!

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Hi. Thank you , it does help a little bit when I have someone else to talk to about it. However, I feel so down at the moment and cannot stop crying. I am not really able to say much more tonight. Would it be okay to send you a PM when I am feeling a bit better?

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i think you should tell ur husband how u feel

he married u and that means ull have to share everything ((i cant relate since im only 16 and well, im doing my best =) ))

youre a human being and it bother you, but you say you've had it for about 10 months and thats so cool

ive had it for about 5 years so i cant remember how i looked like be4 that =(

we'll help u anytime u need it =)

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Guest tenshigirl25

everything u said is true..but i also know what its like to be clear and thats when i was on Diane 35 like your about to start now..took about 8 months but my skin was clear..i think my acne is worse thn yours but i stopped it for som unknown reason..i guess i thought i was clear for good but it came back. now im on accutane..mayb eu can take diane for a few months and then go on accutane. this way your skin will look beautiful in at least 6 months time. i have hormonal acne and sensitive skin..but diane really helps. ive been thru so many clear days and horrible broken out days i know how u feel..but u will be clear again with this kind of medication.

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Hi Tenshigirl & Lollipop,

My husband does know how I feel but after 19 years of me complaining on & off I guess he gets bored of it. Anyway he is away in the States at the moment so it really makes a difference to have people on this site to talk to. I am really hoping that Diannette will work for me. Made a resolution to myself not to cry today even though huge molehill between eyes shows no signs of coming to a head or clearing. Other smallies are clearing though and I am going to try to be really positive today. Shall cook veggie Sunday lunch for my kids & take them to the cinema. Hope everyone has a good day.

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Hi Lillith,

Have 3 kids.. feel the same as you at the moment... I find taking them to parties/lessons/ school pickups hard work ..especially when it's sunny and all my red marks and pits show up even more.

AM really depressed.. and I feel I want to get a grip and start living life properly with the kids and socially...but everythign seems so much harder when you're aware of how bad your skins looking.. taking one of the kids to a party today...am going to try and feel confident instead of hunching my shoulders and hiding ,y face with my hair. feel so depressed amd I have a big zit between my eyes at the moment!

Helps to know others feel the same....

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Hi 30something2,

I nearly had to laugh that both of us are having to do something with our kids today with Mount Etna between our eyes. When I have cysts somewhere else on my face I think to myself that at least when I talking with someone they are mostly looking in my eyes and not examining the rest of my face. Not so easy for them to avoid looking at this one. When I am out today I shall think of you & gain strength that we both are good mums who are unfortunate enough to have bad skin. I don't know about you but my kids never mention my skin so if it is not embarrassing for them I suppose we should try not to make too big a deal of it. How old are you & are you on any meds? I hope that you have a good day.

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