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I lost my girlfriend about a month and a half ago now, she contacted me wanted to be friends but i said i couldnt because i thought we meant more than that. Is that selfish? I just cant bare the thought of her being with someone else and me talking to her as a friend when really i love her. We were together for 4 years, she always used to say things like "i'll never let you go", "i'll love you now and always", etc, but in the end it felt like i meant nothing whatsoever. She said she needed space, which turned from weeks into months, into more months and in the end i couldnt take it anymore. I never did anything bad to her, i just tried too hard. Bought her loads of presents, always tried to show how much i loved her and in the end she called me wierd and clingy. I admit going over the top sometimes spending alot of money but i just wanted to make her feel special by getting her everything she wanted. I mainly did it because my acne put me off seeing her and to keep her interest i bought her presents. I was going to go over to her house and see her because we live quite abit apart and she hasnt seen me in a long long time. I wanted her to remember who i was, to see me again. On a good day i can be so confident, always made her laugh and stuff. But my acne is getting worse, i feel if i went over looking the way i do then i just stand no chance. I have inflamed spots, which are impossible to cover up. I just want to look my best to at least stand a tiny bit of a chance. The thing is, her mom is selling their house and they could move somewhere else at any time. Its either go over covered in inflamed spots or just accept that i've lost. What would you do? Any advice is appreciated.

Chad.

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I've totally lost my confidence, i cant even look at myself let alone her look at me. I want her to feel attracted to me, i want her to look at me and think "maybe i was wrong to let him go". I know spots arent going to help and they make me feel embarrassed. I have an inflamed spot right underneath my mouth, shes hardly going to want to kiss me is she. I've been trying for weeks to try and clear up but i just cant. I just know if i dont act now or sometime soon i'll probably never see her ever again. Its so difficult, ive had acne for so long why wont it just go away its already ruined everything for me!

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I didnt act clingy in my opinion, we were how we were for 3 years then in the 4th year she just changed. I was being the same as always and she saw it in a different way. If i didnt have acne i wouldnt have this paranoir or feeling of enclosure. We split before, she got engaged to another man but said she'd dump anyone to be with me. So she ended her relationship with him to come back to me. Times might have changed now but i still feel if i saw her on a good day i stand a chance. I've just got to clear up this shit but i know its not going to let me.

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this kinda thing happened to me im in the same situation, I wanted more but wouldnt

meet him much, but I always showed how much I was interested (maybe too much) but then

he moved and stopped talking to me, god I was heartbroken & went so depressed & after like

3 months (from talking every day for a year) he decides to try and get in touch, and tries

talking to me online too.. I just couldnt! Its like, you ignore me for 3 months and caused me

that much heartache and now you expect me to be as friendly as I was before! nooo chance. Thing

is though I still think I really like him or I @ least want him to like me again..so I wanna

make myself look real good then like bump into him somewhere that I know he'll be @. I wouldnt

do it still looking shit though. Id probably just ignore him though ha but Its important to me

that he thinks he blew his chance & not the other way around. He did strip any self-esteem I had

left so I need some kinda revenge even though its not very good and its stupid. But if it worked it

would be so satisfying to know he wants me again. But I doubt id be able to resist him anyway

then id end up with someone who is probably no good for me cause If they can do it once they can do it again.

Acne makes you react in ways you wouldnt if you didnt have it. It makes you do things you dont mean to do, like snap at people, make mistakes, try too hard. I've let acne destroy my relationship and i know that. I see my now ex-girlfriend online sometimes and i just freeze. I've had to turn my mobile phone off because i just sit there reading old messages and depressing myself even more. She might of called or texted me since, i'm too scared to turn it back on (been off for about 3 weeks). Your thoughts sound familiar to mine in terms of wanting to bump into her. I often daydream about situations, say for example some guy is threatening her and i come in to make the save. Nights are getting worse for me, i lie there thinking of her, even see her in my dreams. Just lately shes been in every one.

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Guest pokerbugg

yea...u cant force it...love should come natural

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You sound like the female version of me lol. Thats exactly what im doing now, i dont want her to see me until i look great but with her possibly moving house anytime soon im shittin it. Im a perfectionist to the highest standard, i have to look my best everytime i go out that front door. It was in March also when she changed and asked for all this space. I've been giving her space since March! Some guys wouldnt wait a week, i've been waiting months! I too wonder why im so attached to her, shes great and gorgeous to be around but i was also insecure. I was scared that if i took a step wrong it would be all over. I knew she was waiting for me to end it, i knew whatever i did wasnt going to work. I knew that the end was going to happen. I used to get up every morning thinking "its not over yet, i wonder how longs left". She'd put the phone down on me to talk to other people, she'd tell me not to text or ring her, sometimes i felt like i was on the bottom of her shoe rather than in her heart. I just need to see her again and i want her to see me too because ive changed so much. Maybe one day, just gonna have to wait, hope and see.

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I know it's hard but the best thing to do is to let go. Definitely the wrong thing to be thinking is that there's still a chance to be with her. People change, and you can't control them, that's just the way it is. Sorry buddy, just continue on with your life.

On a similar note, I've found that guys who are very very nice to girls get screwed over in the end. Not always, but more often than not. Now if people disagree, I encourage them to think twice. When I've had deep conversations with women on this subject, in the end they always say that they want a guy who's a mix of good and bad. Why? Because a nice guy = pushover = pussy. Those guys can't stand up for their woman. A mean guy, aka jerk, could, but he'd probably overly abuse her emotionally as well, or otherwise.

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Guest LDanielle

Let go

Trust me, I've done the getting weird and clingy about people quite a few times, the sooner you can let go and forget the better, it'll just make you feel shit if you still try and hang on. Move on.

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Man i Definately hear you, i had the same problem last year i was going out with this girl, who didnt have great complexion either , but most of the time we hung out at night dim lighting, it made me more comftorable. But in the worst lighting ever she told me i was sexy so it made me feel really good, :). i definately dont think your wrong or selfish to say you cant imagine her being with someone else.. cuse if you do feel this way you obviously care about her and who could think about someone they care about going out with another guy or even having sex with them UGH, My best advice from dome experience is if you still care about her and she wants "Space" or to go out with someone else just to say thats fine, and to leave it, but before you do tell her how much you care then be like ok thats all i wanted to say im done. It could also be because you are insecure about your face maybe she thinks that it is something else because you are not seeing her, maybe she wants to see you more or more attention hence she says she wants space, she could be waiting for you to tell her how much you care. but if she isnt fuck her then

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Guest *Clara

Ya, your lost love would want you to live happy.

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Maybe she'll come back for my 21st birthday the start of next year, she knows when it is. Your right, theres no point in me doing all the chasing, if she wants me as much as i want her she will come back for me. Otherwise theres no point because it'll always be me chasing her. If i just leave things and dont contact her for a couple of months, theres a chance she might miss me right? You said that guy left you alone for 3 months and then came back. I'll just have to wait and see, in the mean time its back to the drawing board getting rid of acne. I start roaccutane next monday and my derm says i should be clear within 16 weeks, just in time for my 21st if all goes well! What a present that would be! Thanks for all the comments guys, i'll just sit back carry on with my life and see what happens.

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Maybe she'll come back for my 21st birthday the start of next year, she knows when it is. Your right, theres no point in me doing all the chasing, if she wants me as much as i want her she will come back for me. Otherwise theres no point because it'll always be me chasing her. If i just leave things and dont contact her for a couple of months, theres a chance she might miss me right? You said that guy left you alone for 3 months and then came back. I'll just have to wait and see, in the mean time its back to the drawing board getting rid of acne. I start roaccutane next monday and my derm says i should be clear within 16 weeks, just in time for my 21st if all goes well! What a present that would be! Thanks for all the comments guys, i'll just sit back carry on with my life and see what happens.

I wish you will have that present for your 21st birthday!

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ackerman let go and get another girl, let her realise what she's lost.

She doesn't give a shit if your clear or not dude, it's over she ain't coming back.. move on to better things.

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Thanks alot SatanInHeels, you've made me feel much better and its people like you i come here to talk to. I dont think she will come after me again but you never know.

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March 7th is my birthday. Two things i want for it, clear skin and her. I'll just have to wait and see. If i dont speak to you again, happy 18th birthday for January 15th lol!

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lol Yes I'm a pisces! I dont know much about signs and cant say i take any notice of em. Its a page i usually flick straight over if im reading a newspaper lol! Lets hope we both find happiness next March! I just know if she comes back for my 21st birthday it'll be the most happiest birthday wish ever. I'll never give up hope, I believe that all things are possible it just depends how you go about it. Good luck to you too!

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Guest pokerbugg

let that bitch go...sheesh , dont u have some pride...some self love..she tried u...let her go man! damn....i just dont get it, ive felt love, and yea its a great feeling but how can u continue to love someone that doesnt love u?...thats not love ...thats just obsession ur obsessed w/ something that is no longer there. worry about urself now...worry about getting ur skin back to normal...and just enjoy life...stop trying to linger on to dreams that r ridiculous...both u and satininheels gotta stop obsessing about those two they obviously dont want u guys....

im sorry if it may sound mean but its reality...its life... MOVE ON!

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I'll never give up hope, I believe that all things are possible it just depends how you go about it

That's an odd way to think in regards to talking about wanting your ex back. To me that sounds like you think if you try hard & long enough and want it enough she'll come back. If only life was like that we'd all be laughing. You can't always get what you want, full stop.

What im saying is if i actually got off my ass and went over there who knows what could happen. I cant do that at the minute because my skins a mess and i dont feel confident enough. She hasnt seen me for years, we talked over the phone. She doesnt know what i look like nowadays, she just used to hear my voice. She said she still loves me and always will. I'm saying if i go over there, dress nice, do myself up, let her see me again, then im not saying i will get her back but i might have a chance. Everything has a possibility is what im saying. Im not saying it WILL im saying its possible.

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Guest pokerbugg

what do u mean...she hasnt seen u for years...i thought u said u guys broke up a month 1/2? so how in gods name were u guys together? via phone?...im done here, this is just too weird for me!

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We met on holiday, spent time together, met up every now and then but because of distance we spoke over the phone. We spoke every day, wrote to each other, etc. We had plans for the future, she just decided she wanted space and didnt want to talk to me for ages for some reason i do not know of. The last thing she said to me was "i wish things could of been different". If i go over there instead of sitting here worrying about my acne, then things could be different. However i dont have the confidence too because acne makes me feel so damn ugly. Its not easy to write 4 years into one paragraph but bah whatever call it wierd if you wish.

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Guest pokerbugg

no i got u.... but dont u think that maybe she has another dude? and she just wanted to call it quits in a nice way to avoid hurting u....long distance relationships are very hard.... well the best luck to u

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Its possible, i dont know. What im saying is i just hope i get the chance to see her again so she can remind herself of me. If she moves away i stand less of a chance of ever seeing her again. But i just dont want to face her covered in acne. Its kinda hard to explain, sorry for confusing you guys.

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