Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
cjw

How to beat scars

I've always had a smooth face, ate well, excercised, never had a problem with zits. However, one day I went to shave and there was no shaving cream. I opted for soap instead. To my horror, I got an ingrown hair. It got infected and a cyst formed. I never had a problem popping zits(actually enjoyed it) and thought this one would be no different. I dug in really hard and only made matters worse. The cyst looked to get bigger and the area became red. I also added a huge scar that will now be with me for the rest of my life.

The scar shattered my world. It's ALL I thought about for almost a year. I blamed myself endlessly for something that was preventable. My school suffered a great deal. My personal relationships suffered. Any activity/chore that required time suffered. I spent A LOT of hours looking in different mirrors at different angles in different lighting trying to rationalize the scar. But there would always be one position that would make me want to cry. I went to go see a dermatologist(who had about 4 huge cysts on his face) about the cyst and he looked at me like I was retarded. He removed the ingrown hair and the cyst is almost impossible to notice but the scar is still there. I went to my library to find out the most I could about the skin and I looked on these boards for all the different scar solutions. Unfortunately, I wasn't pleased to find out that my skin would never be 100% again.

One night, I was lying in bed just thinking how something so small stole my life. How this little thing turned my love for the world into a hate on my heart. I felt like a beaten man. It was at that point, I decided I would never look in a mirror again for the rest of my life. I rationalized that vanity(pride) is a sin anyway. And that the there are a great deal of people in the world that live without mirrors. And many more in the history on the world that never needed a mirror or grew long beards. There were also many people who were dealt a much worse hand in life and were living happy. I realized most people didn't care about my face. I didn't even care about other people's faces and that it was my depression that was the problem, not my face.

I became really good at shaving in the shower without a mirror. However, I would always get someone to check that I didn't miss a spot. Brushing teeth didn't need a mirror. I always had shorter hair and just decided, I would get my mom to start shaving it. I tilted my rear view mirror in my car and only used the side mirrors. I became really good at anticipating possible mirror situations like storefronts or car windows and I learned to avoid seeing my face.

Within a week, my mood was much better. By the end of the month, I was as confident as I had ever been. I started getting the attitude that the face was no different than just another piece of clothing and was not important. It was easy to understand that life was beutiful and there were many people to meet, things to do, stuff to learn and places to see.

I went 4 months without looking in the mirror. One day, I decided I would take a good look. It honestly felt like I was looking at a different person. I spent less than 15 seconds in the mirror. Not because I couldn't take my sight, but because I didn't care. It was a really weird feeling. That was about 6 months ago. I thought I was "cured". But eventually I started spending more and more time in the mirror. And after a while I was basically back at square one. I recently started my second mirror holdout 1 month ago and will probably never see my face again.

Hope this might help some people. It felt good to get my story of my chest and have people who might actually understand my problem hear it. Many of my friends didn't even know I was going through such trauma, it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How huge and deep is this scar? Trust me you are not alone. Even one scar can be devestating especially when you are not used to having scars and it is in an obvious place. There ways to make it better, even if it's not 100% so I am surprised you haven't done something about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×