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Sickening

Is it the people or the acne?

Yes, all of us have or have had acne before. Some worse than others. However, is the acne really the problem? Or is it the people who look down on us and make us feel uncomfortable about our acne? I say the people. If acne was some sort of fad in the eyes of society, we'd all be hoping for our next big pimple! However, the fact is, society as a whole thinks acne is disgusting. People without acne think we don't wash our faces, we're lazy, and we're dirty people in general. That's why we're on this forum, because of the people, not the acne.

However, this can actually be a positive. You see, no matter who we are, or what we look like, there will also be people who don't like something about us. There will always be people who don't like us, period. We can focus on the acne as an excuse as to why we're troubled, but if it wasn't the acne, we'd move on to the next feature about ourselves that we don't like. Why? Because certain people wouldn't like it.

All in all, we need to stop placing our self-worth, joy, and livelihoods in the hands of other peoples opinions.

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Yeah keep on rationalizing there buddy. Listen, why dont u go knock someone else out with a right/left cross counter jab combo? I know you make up stories to hide behind reality. Im hideously ugly and so are u obviously, just accept the fucking fact that neither of us will EVER get a remotely cute girl to go out with us. Not only that, but are friendships and career choices are limited because ppl. have a tendency to look down upon us. Its a shitty world man, the sooner you accept it the better off you will be.

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Guest james11

I have to say that i disagree with you both. Everyone doesn't look down on people with Acne! Loads of people don't care what we look like. Some like people for their inner qualities, some people like you for your abilities, ie. you have a degree etc..

I beleive that the more common thing that Acne sufferers face is their own self-hate! You guys clearly think that you are ugly and that you have little worth in society. Of course you'll never get anywhere if you tell yourself that you are ugly and have no worth. With that kind of attitude, you fail before you even start!

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I have to say that i disagree with you both. Everyone doesn't look down on people with Acne! Loads of people don't care what we look like. Some like people for their inner qualities, some people like you for your abilities, ie. you have a degree etc..

I beleive that the more common thing that Acne sufferers face is their own self-hate! You guys clearly think that you are ugly and that you have little worth in society. Of course you'll never get anywhere if you tell yourself that you are ugly and have no worth. With that kind of attitude, you fail before you even start!

James, I gotta say that your viewpoint is absolutely incorrect. I don't care what you or anyone else says, but people who are ugly, have acne etc are looked down upon by not ALL but by a MAJORITY of people in society. Especially in our materialistic, superficial society. And it's not like we THINK we are ugly, and therefore bring ourselves down, but we have been told directly and indirectly that our looks suck ass many times in the past. Now, when i say that we as acne sufferers are looked down upon, i mean the ppl. who ACTUALLY have acne. Not ppl. who get 1 or 2 random fucking zits every other year. James, ur bleeding heart attitude pisses me off cuz its so fucking naive man. Get a grip on reality then make ur stupid cliche comments.

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Guest james11

Hey dickhead, i have quit my uni degree, havn't worked in 18 months, lost all my friends and am just getting out of depression because of severe Acne so get fucked with your sob story as if you are the only one who knows what it's like! I have realised through my experience that alot of what you suffer comes from within! I don't consider myself to be unattracive and that's how i'm approaching life, so now i'm feeling hell loads better and will start Uni again. My skin is 1000 times better granted, but i wasn't some 2 zit a month guy. Every dollar i had saved went to Derm bills.

If the misery suits you, then so be it!

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Hey dickhead, i have quit my uni degree, havn't worked in 18 months, lost all my friends and am just getting out of depression because of severe Acne so get fucked with your sob story as if you are the only one who knows what it's like! I have realised through my experience that alot of what you do comes from within! I don't consider myself to be unattracive and that's how i'm approaching life, so now i'm feeling hell loads better and will start Uni again. My skin is 1000 times better granted, but i wasn't some 2 zit a month guy. Every dollar i had saved went to Derm bills.

If the misery suits you, then so be it!

James, I think we both realize that you are a total dickweed! I know I do at least. You dont even know me, but you act like your problems are MUCH worse than mine. Your an arrogant guy James, and Im glad that you've realized the meaning of life and such shit. And I'm also glad that your acne cleared up. Do you think that could at least be partially a reason why you're getting your life back together James? Read your post James. I'm not here to start a fight over the internet James, and I hope you do finally get that degree in Optimism for Dummies, but with all honesty James, dont tell me how to run my life.

Thanks

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Guest james11

Hey dickhead, i have quit my uni degree, havn't worked in 18 months, lost all my friends and am just getting out of depression because of severe Acne so get fucked with your sob story as if you are the only one who knows what it's like! I have realised through my experience that alot of what you do comes from within! I don't consider myself to be unattracive and that's how i'm approaching life, so now i'm feeling hell loads better and will start Uni again. My skin is 1000 times better granted, but i wasn't some 2 zit a month guy. Every dollar i had saved went to Derm bills.

If the misery suits you, then so be it!

James, I think we both realize that you are a total dickweed! I know I do at least. You dont even know me, but you act like your problems are MUCH worse than mine. Your an arrogant guy James, and Im glad that you've realized the meaning of life and such shit. And I'm also glad that your acne cleared up. Do you think that could at least be partially a reason why you're getting your life back together James? Read your post James. I'm not here to start a fight over the internet James, and I hope you do finally get that degree in Optimism for Dummies, but with all honesty James, dont tell me how to run my life.

Thanks

In all seriousness Freak, read your post. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life, just letting you know that you can look outside the square. You say i'm arogant, i say you're ignorant.

The degree is not in optimism, that is an arogant stab at my choices in life. Don't patronise me with all that James crap!

My skin clearing is partly due to my attitude change. I was never going to get out of the rut with the self pity i used to feel! Are you out of your rut Freakboy? Are you feeling good about life? Are you blaming all your troubles on other people?

You don't know me either so don't judge me.

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Hey dickhead, i have quit my uni degree, havn't worked in 18 months, lost all my friends and am just getting out of depression because of severe Acne so get fucked with your sob story as if you are the only one who knows what it's like! I have realised through my experience that alot of what you do comes from within! I don't consider myself to be unattracive and that's how i'm approaching life, so now i'm feeling hell loads better and will start Uni again. My skin is 1000 times better granted, but i wasn't some 2 zit a month guy. Every dollar i had saved went to Derm bills.

If the misery suits you, then so be it!

James, I think we both realize that you are a total dickweed! I know I do at least. You dont even know me, but you act like your problems are MUCH worse than mine. Your an arrogant guy James, and Im glad that you've realized the meaning of life and such shit. And I'm also glad that your acne cleared up. Do you think that could at least be partially a reason why you're getting your life back together James? Read your post James. I'm not here to start a fight over the internet James, and I hope you do finally get that degree in Optimism for Dummies, but with all honesty James, dont tell me how to run my life.

Thanks

In all seriousness Freak, read your post. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life, just letting you know that you can look outside the square. You say i'm arogant, i say you're ignorant.

The degree is not in optimism, that is an arogant stab at my choices in life. Don't patronise me with all that James crap!

My skin clearing is partly due to my attitude change. I was never going to get out of the rut with the self pity i used to feel! Are you out of your rut Freakboy? Are you feeling good about life? Are you blaming all your troubles on other people?

You don't know me either so don't judge me.

James I'm real happy for you that you've gotten your life back on track. I hope all goes well with ur Uni degree and that you can continue making ur sensational posts on acne.org. As for me, I know where I stand in life, and its not something that I thought up, but something that has been ingrained in me thru repetition of experience. I'm not trying to judge u man. Good luck and godspeed!

Thanks

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Guest james11

Well i see then. I hope that you find what it is you're looking for.

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Guest tenshigirl25

u have to be strong..its your perception..your the 1 letting people get to u..and it is hard but u have to rise above it. so no, its not the people, its u. its all of us with low self esteem that need to get strong.

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Guest james11

u have to be strong..its your perception..your the 1 letting people get to u..and it is hard but u have to rise above it. so no, its not the people, its u. its all of us with low self esteem that need to get strong.

Hmm, that could get you in some trouble

:lol2:

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u have to be strong..its your perception..your the 1 letting people get to u..and it is hard but u have to rise above it. so no, its not the people, its u. its all of us with low self esteem that need to get strong.

Hmm, that could get you in some trouble

:lol2:

HAHA James, we've gotten to know each other well! :dance:

Tenshigirl: Yes, low self-esteem plays a role, but ppl's low perceptions of us are why our self-esteem is low in the first place. It is an indisputable fact that if you are ugly/have bad acne, you will be discriminated against in almost EVERY aspect of life. I say accept this fact and move on. Dont try to kid yourself out of certain realities. There are negatives and positives in this world, and just because something is negative(ie ppl judge us based on how we look) doesnt mean we should try and twist it to our liking.

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Guest tenshigirl25

but if u cant change reality then u have to change your way of thinking. its either that or feel like shit all the time. so i dont blame the people, this is just life. i wan tto find another way out and rise above it.

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Guest james11

I can see both sides. I understand that i am in this stage in my life and that you are in a different one. You have one view point and i have another. Enough said i guess!

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Freakboy, your ugly? Is that your excuse for making a piss weak attempt at enjoying life? Defeatist attitudes, your personality is ugly, that you can change.

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All in all, we need to stop placing our self-worth, joy, and livelihoods in the hands of other peoples opinions.

I agree. Though it's not easy, I think we all need to find our own way to achieve this.

Im hideously ugly and so are u obviously, just accept the fucking fact that neither of us will EVER get a remotely cute girl to go out with us.

I found that sad... I personally don't believe it's true, and I know some may feel I am not realistic, but it is merely my opinion. Many people with imperfections have been able to have relationships with a kind and nice-looking person of the opposite sex.

Do not accept that only low standards apply to you - do not compromise what you would like to achieve in life. What I mean is that someone out there (many people actually) may not consider you ugly, will actually see beyond the exterior and appreciate you for you, and that it is possible to have a healthy, succesful relationship. The main ingredient missing to make the recipe a healthy one is that you both have to believe in the possibility and yourselves.

In my humble opinion, you both deserve as much as anyone else. A person with clear skin or considered beautiful does not deserve more because of that.

I simply want to add that I do believe our experiences in life shape us to a certain degree. I'm sorry that it seems many of your experiences with others have been negative, and in this respect, I also understand, as James, the difference in views. The only thing is that we cannot change what others do or say. We have no control over it, and it will exist indefinitely. But living in bitterness only hurts us more, and does not help us live more happily. If living life blaming all misfortunes on others does not prove to make things better, maybe approaching it a different way can?

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Searching, you couldn't possibly understand where Freak and myself are coming from. Please refrain from replying with your Dr. Phil rhetoric. You've never experienced the constant rejection, ridicule, and rejection Freak and I have.

I know you'll probably respond with some long paragraphed, positive banter, but it'll be coming from your perspective. You know, the one where you've never been in our position. Save it, please.

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Back to the original question of whether our perceptions of our own acne are influenced more by others/society or by our own conceptualizations. Personally, I believe the reason acne is so debilitating is because the afflicted realize they will never achieve any measure of celebrity. Acne crushes the dream of attaining a level of stardom we believe we deserve, or can rise to. Honestly, how many people with acne do you encounter who have achieved any level of celebrity in their respective career fields? (I'm not just referring to Hollywood/tv here, but any profession... how many great surgeons/chefs/pilots have acne?) The answer is, not many. The reasons are psychological and sociological, as well as realistic. Not many people with serious facial acne desire to achieve a level of status which will force them into a public setting. Think about some of the choices you have made in your life and relate them to your own acne condition. Personally, at this moment I am putting off grad school for a year. Why? Because I do not want to have to travel, present papers, etc, in my current condition. While society and culture may bless the naturally beautiful, they have since time immemorial. Ancient Greek culture celebrated natural beauty as much as we do today. We need to stop blaming society for portraying acne as some hideous disease and realize we perpetuate that stigmata of acne by our persistant desire to have clear skin - to appear "normal."

(Rojek, Chris. Celebrity. Reaktion Books, 2004. Doesn't deal with acne, but with the modern phenonema of celebrity and the intrinsic desire to achieve it, as well as society's idolization of it.)

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its the acne, and i'm not talking abot 2 or 3 pimples, i'm talking about when you can't count how many spots are on your face, and got them big nodules that stay for weeks until it turned into the yellow pussed fill pimple that leaves a long red mark for months!!!!

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Is being attractive an advantage in life, certainly. Just like getting a good education is an advantage. Just like being intelligent is an advantage. Just like growing up in a healthy family environment is an advantage.

I agree acne sucks and no one should have to deal with it, but I feel the same way about poverty, abusive homes, etc. We aren't all given the same opportunities in life, that's what makes us all different. If you go around comparing yourself to other people and wishing you had this or that then of course you are going to be unhappy. And I realize it's frustrating when what you want is something that so many people have and take for granted, namely clear skin. But if you step back you'll realize that it's your own views and expectations that make acne so dreadful. Hollywood has convinced us that we all need to look perfect and then we'll lead these amazing lives. The reality is that there are tons of absolutely gorgeous people who aren't even happy with their own lives. For every movie star or fashion model there's probably five girls waiting tables who thought they could make it. Looks don't guarantee happiness anymore than money does, you have to figure out what's important to you in life and only then will you be able to find happiness.

Think about your own comment, one of your biggest complaints seems to be that you won't get a cute girl to go out with you. Don't you see that you are criticizing society's emphasis on appearance while at the same time you seem to be concerned primarily with how attractive of a date you can find.

I don't know you, I don't know anything about you, but I know that it's really hard to be happy if you aren't happy with yourself, and right now it doesn't seem that you are. If the most important thing to you is trying to be more attractive to women then simply ask a friend what you could do to make yourself more attractive. There are women out there who find a muscular body really attractive, try lifting weights and improving yourself that way. There are other little things as well, but really you should just ask a female friend, I'm sure they'd be more than glad to help you.

As for your other two complaints, first off I'll address the friendship thing. Anyone who doesn't want to be your friend because you have acne isn't really worth having as a friend anyway. No matter how bad my acne has been I've always had good friends. It makes all the difference in the world too. Just try talking to people, I know it can be really hard but it's worth it. What have you got to lose?

Lastly, as for limited job opportunities, that may be true, but it's just a fact of life. Truthfully, everyone has limited job opportunities. If you have bad vision you can't be a pilot, if you aren't abnormally tall you probably aren't going to be playing in the nba, and if you aren't exceptionally intelligent you probably aren't going to be an astrophysicist.

Everyone's life is determined to some extent by factors outside of their control. It's what makes life so tough, but you can't let something you have no control over ruin your life. Just try to life your life the best you can and don't worry about comparing yourself to other people. You are your own person. Every day is a chance to do the best you can and try to be the person you want to be.

j

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