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(I don't know if your allowed to swear in these forums, ill just edit them out later if I'm not)

Well, I'm 14 turning 15 soon, I seem pretty young eh? I haven't really been reading in these forums for long so I don't know what the average age is in this forum but being that it's a forum for acne I'm sure there's people from ages 10-40 around here.

My acne started when I was in gr.6, which was 3-4 years ago. It really doesn't seem that long, but for anyone who has or had acne knows that 3 years of acne is 3 years of self-hating, embarassing and painful hell. Some people say "It's just acne, it's not like its a big deal" well, thats because they've probably never had it. Acne almost feels like you have a 'permanent' disease that grows on your face that will never go away. I'ts sort of sickening, and I'm quite tired of it. It's been probably the biggest reason why my life is as screwed up as it is. If I didn't have acne I would be so much more outgoing.. I would be having so much more fun... I can feel all of that in me but it's like it wont come out, until this face is clear. The only time I really feel happy and careless of my acne is when I'm stoned.. I mean that's all I base my life on now.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of looking into the mirror, seeing nothing but the acne, hating everything about me because of these pimples that overcome my face. I have some what nice features, but I've begun to hate those too.

I've tried to commit suicide oh I dunno how many times?? Obviousely it's more than just the acne.. there's a lot of secrets and a lot of insecurities and events that have happened in my life.. but I don't think they'll ever come out/I'll get over them and off of my chest until my acne's gone.. It's really beginning to overcome my life.

I remember back in gr.6 when i had maybe 5 pimples on my forehead, and maybe 2 on my chin and I thought it was terrible. Now I have moderate acne spread out evenly all over my forehead side burns and chin, and really red bumps clumped together on both cheeks.

I look disgusting, this has been the second worst breakout I've ever had and I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried EVERYTHING, right now i'm using "2% clindapack in differin cream" prescribed from my dermy, don't really know what that is but it really doesn't do much.. I'm to use it every tuesday and thursday (i usually use it tuesday, thursday and on the weekends) and I'm not really getting much relief. I've been using it for a month so maybe I should give it more time, and I can't use it in the mornings because it makes it look like I stretched plastic over my face (greasy greasy stuff).

I mean what kind of time is it to BREAK THE FUCK OUT LIKE THIS??? first year of high school and here I am overloaded with acne?? I'm glad I have friends who support and love me for who I am - I mean if I was a loner because of this problem I would be dead already honestly I mean that's how it was in middle school people just wouldn't accept me for who I was... thank god I found the people I did... anyways,

Thanks for reading my rant, I'm wondering about that bp.cream I'm ready to try anything somewhat promising.. I can't get accutane as my acne isn't severe enough.. any support would be nice I guess.. It's ruining my life it honestly is it sounds so stupid that something like this could "ruin a life" but i'm not much of a dramatic person and this is just fucked.

I'm going to add a picture showcase and take pictures everyweek to show everyone what kind of an ugly person this acne has made me, I hope by the end of it I will have successfully completed my goal of having no more acne.

Ps: Really really random question.. but have you ever thought, just to yourself, that if you could have any wish granted to you in the world, that it would be to remove acne on all people in the world so nobody would ever have to suffer with it again? Just wondering :think:

MMarr

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