Dead end again. Despair. End. I cant cope anymore.

[jack_spratt 0]

I really cant believe it. This life changing drug changed my life for a few months, showed me what it was like to be a real human being, and then dumped me back where I started, except more wreched, as having tasted confidence and self respect, I dont know if i can live witout them.

i have once again got my back to the wall, nowhere to run, unable to face life or anybody i care about, all i can do is drive the ones i love most out of my life as i cant bear to show them the putrid miserable shit that i have become. my new life of happiness and public acceptance started, but now its finished, and ive nothing left except a draw of painful and useless topical tortures with clinical labels. I was sure i wouldnt ever have to go back there, but im looking down the precipice of misery and self loathing once again.

I cant cope. I cant cope. I cant cope. I cant cope. This is a life full of false promise signing off. Thats it. no more false starts.

this isnt a constructive thread, sorry for that.

[Mike 1]

Jack, no reason to be sorry, my friend. I don't know what to say except to keep your head up and don't lose hope.

[ackerman316 0]

We're all in the same boat bro, just bare with it. I know its hard but just keep your head up like Mike said. Your a fighter just like the rest of us, if we work as a team we can get through this shit. Whenever you need to talk, were here, just holla! Good luck Jack.

[GameOver 1]

...this drug doesn't happen to be that false-hope crap accutene, does it ?

Cause I have the feeling I will be posting the exact same thread in a few months time.

[Zamarano 0]

Hey Jack,

Dont lose hope, I too have been where you are and sometimes I still find myself walking down the street of despair. You must focus on one thing that makes you happy when you are really low. I would also advise you to express your feelings as you have done because we are all here to give you support, listen and try to give you the best advice we can. Keep your head up mate you are never alone.

[CursedSkin 0]

listen jack, dont give up on tane if thats what you took.

relapses are normal. alot of us relapse.

you may need a second or third treatment.

youre dosage might not have been high enough.

go as high as you can go. evne if its 200mgs...hell thats what they were taking in the 80's. thats the only way to beat the acne. if youre dose wasnt strong enough youre going to relapse.

[jack_spratt 0]

Wow guys, thanks for your support. I guess its saying something that this message board was the last place i could turn to when I was desperate. It really REALLY helps to have a community of people willing to give support when people like me need it. Yesterday was just like going back to how I felt before the accutane, a way i never thought id feel again, i felt like i was back to square one, hence I hit rock bottom.

When you say relapse, is it possible that this might be an incidental flare up, and not an indicator that it all might come back again as stubborn as ever? I have been ill recently with flu, maybe that added to it. However, im not too keen on fooling myself into another false hope of it disappearing by itself.

Any replies are always appreciated. Once again, thanks so much for the suppport.

[CursedSkin 0]

well if this was your first time on tane then youre very likely to get a relapse.

if youre breaking out now, im sorry to say dude but your acne is there to stay.

you may need to go on it and second and third time with higher dosages. i went on it twice but with the same low dosage of 40mg's.

i believe if i wouldve just done 120mg's the first time i wouldnt have had a relapse.

what dose where you on and what was the duration of your accutane?

[jack_spratt 0]

I think it was 85mg (im approx 11stone) and the course was 18 weeks i think. The derm put me on a slightly higher dosage than my body weight to try and kill it more effectively (i think i should have been on 75 or something).

I dont know if i can get a second course, i mean the first cost about £1800 (for consultations and roaccutane itself) I think, and my parents wont pay again. If i get it on the nhs (im in UK) then ill have to wait for at least 5 months to get to see a derm, and i cant live that long like this. Thats part of the reason im in despair, as i cant forsee getting a second course, so im fucked, at a dead end once again. I guess youre privatly funded right? I already have £6000 of debt thanks to just startig uni so i cant get the credit myself to pay for another course.

Its really weird how it suddenly deteriorated over 2 days, i would have expected it to be more gradual.

Any help/info much appreciated, thanks cursedskin

[GameOver 1]

why the hell is the only thing that is supposed to help people so expensive anyway ? I mean to me, that is exactly like if a doctor would let someone die on the streets because he doesn't have health insurance or something. disgraceful.

[dumbmrblah 0]

At times like this it's hard to really take solace in anything anyone says, but try to focus on everything that you do have going for you in life. Life isn't a competition, you can't spend all your time thinking about what might have been if only things had been different, you clearly have some things going for you in life (like uni) and need to think about doing the best you can with what you've been given. Hopefully your skin will clear up soon and things will be all better for you, but always try to remember that all you can do in life is the best you can with what you're given. If you remember that and don't worry so much about comparing yourself to others (who have different opportunities) then hopefully you'll find happiness.

j

[Guest james11]

Hey mate, i hope you can see the sun through the clouds. Chin up, smile, don't lose hope and try to imagine what you're going to do when you get that confidence back.

I want great skin, i might never get it. But if i don't keep trying i'll never know. If we don't have the bad times, we can't recognise the good ones. You'll see better days and you will be loving it!!

[Gum/b/ullah al-Kafir 0]

The acne genome was cracked last year so a REAL cure is only a matter of time. Acne will eventually go the way of polio and smallpox, we are probably the last generation to have to deal with it, our children will know only the horror stories, not the horror.

[jack_spratt 0]

wow, i didnt know that about the acne genome, thats amazing! Its a comforting thought that I will be able to check if my children have the gene before birth.

[Gum/b/ullah al-Kafir 0]

Actually, it's the acne bacterium's genome that was cracked.

[feilo 0]

wow, i didnt know that about the acne genome, thats amazing! Its a comforting thought that I will be able to check if my children have the gene before birth.

[T-ZoneGreaser 0]

I really cant believe it. This life changing drug changed my life for a few months, showed me what it was like to be a real human being, and then dumped me back where I started, except more wreched, as having tasted confidence and self respect, I dont know if i can live witout them.

i have once again got my back to the wall, nowhere to run, unable to face life or anybody i care about, all i can do is drive the ones i love most out of my life as i cant bear to show them the putrid miserable shit that i have become. my new life of happiness and public acceptance started, but now its finished, and ive nothing left except a draw of painful and useless topical tortures with clinical labels. I was sure i wouldnt ever have to go back there, but im looking down the precipice of misery and self loathing once again.

I cant cope. I cant cope. I cant cope. I cant cope. This is a life full of false promise signing off. Thats it. no more false starts.

this isnt a constructive thread, sorry for that.

Jack, I feel your pain. I ain't BS'in ya cause I really do . I've had this disease for 7 years, and it really isn't pleasant to wake up to. However, there is a solution out there. Now, I'm not your derm, so I won't give you tips for YOUR specific acne, but I can recommend one thing.

It's called 'Mind over Mood', a cognitive therapy book written by Dennis Greenberger, MD, & Christine A. Padesky, MD. The exercises in this book have really been the only thing that's been keeping me sane and in control of myself lately. If you don't trust me, check out the customer reviews on amazon.com I know it won't do jack for your acne, but it WILL help you cope mentally. It can help you spend more quality time improving yourself and FEEL BETTER. I may sound like I'm advertising this, but really I'm just an 18 year old kid looking for something that will help me cope with this disease, and for me, it's this book. If you want to buy it but don't want to purchase online, go to a chapters, coles, indigo, or another major book store. It cost about $30 for me (Canadian), but it was worth all the hard earned cash I spend for it. I urge you to check it out, it might just help you feel better about yourself while you work on your acne problem.

Anyway, whether you take my advice or not, good luck on your ongoing battle with acne.

[Avatar 0]

Some days it's better just to swallow your pride.

[Neuvo wavo 0]

Maybe you could order a low dose supply online, while you wait for your NHS appointment. It could tide you over.

Maybe that's not the most responsible thing to recommend, but if you're really in a bad spot or you're scarring, it might be an emergency option.

I don't personally know of any place that sells Accutane either, it's just something to consider. Carefully.

I really cant believe it. This life changing drug changed my life for a few months, showed me what it was like to be a real human being, and then dumped me back where I started, except more wreched, as having tasted confidence and self respect, I dont know if i can live witout them.

i have once again got my back to the wall, nowhere to run, unable to face life or anybody i care about, all i can do is drive the ones i love most out of my life as i cant bear to show them the putrid miserable shit that i have become. my new life of happiness and public acceptance started, but now its finished, and ive nothing left except a draw of painful and useless topical tortures with clinical labels. I was sure i wouldnt ever have to go back there, but im looking down the precipice of misery and self loathing once again.

I cant cope. I cant cope. I cant cope. I cant cope. This is a life full of false promise signing off. Thats it. no more false starts.

this isnt a constructive thread, sorry for that.