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Hello everyone. I would just like to take a short moment to describe what I am currently feeling. Due to acne and its related effects my life has become unbearable. I live like a robot waiting for the day to end so that another can end as well. I am not on accutane (yet hopefully) Nothing works for my skin problems. I have scars. My overall emotion is sadness. I have severe depression and social anxiety. Cant sleep hardly at all. I have trouble keeping a job because of my fear of being in public. I worry myself litterally sick over my skin. I am 21 and I feel like my life has ended with no sign of future progression. I am consumed with sadness. At my best I can slip away from reality to indulge in anything meaningless. Every aspect of my life has been affected by my acne. None of my goals or dreams seem reachable for reasons that are not truly acceptable. Clothing, style, or prefference of anything is impossible for me to possess. My belief in religion is gone, with no help of my efforts. Even my sanity is being jeapordized. My moral judgement is weakening. I never can truly be myself, never comfortable. Even my best friends are strangers. I cant express or talk about my acne to anyone I dont know why. I see myself acting in these ways and feel helpless to stop myself. Realizing how strongly acne is affecting me is easy, just stoping it impossible for me. If I could only learn to deal with it, I deal with it but I become increasingly bitter each day. Yet I have learned to deal with extreme lonliness with ease. Having no companionship has become acceptable to me. At times its almost as if none of this is even true its surreal. Shockingly brutal to a point of no return. I do not expect anyone to tell me anything that is going to help. Instead what I have said has helped me in just letting it out. Thank you

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Guest Mr K

I feel for you -

Some day....

hey i have a suggestion - try getting a tan.

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Gee, that's very sad and touching to hear. I can relate to everything you've said pretty much but on a smaller scale.. It's good that you've gotten that out though. It's so difficult to talk about these things sometimes and to get them off your chest but you've just expressed a lot of the feelings you probably usually keep hidden, so you must feel some relief hopefully. Take care and God bless.

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Like christa said, I can relate to you but on a smaller level....the point where I understand and feel you completely is that your friends are strangers to you...mines are strangers for me too...I can't talk about my acne to anyone either, beside my sister that has gone through it too and understand me completely, but I can't even bother her, she didn't talk to me about it when she was at her worst, and I can't just put all my sadness and depression on her, it's not right, she is younger 3 years than me, and she has ALWAYS been happy, even when her acne was pretty bad....and I just can't put all of this on her shoulder.

She loves me and so she listen to me and she doesn't even mention that she is tired of listen to me, and she's so kind that when I ask her if I am bothering and annoying her she teels me that I am not, even if I know she doesn't like to talk about it very much.

Sometimes I feel so guilty and I stop....but then I feel so bad because I can't talk to anyone....so, I actually NEVER feel really good...

This post is making me tear...because I usually don't talk about my problems and talking to anyone is good but at the same time the pain reaches a point where it hurts so bad that you cry...and I assure you that if I was at home alone (there is all my family now) I would probably been crying very much....but I can't...I can't talk about my problems with anyone....

Yesterday I went out with my friends for a pizza....all my friends have gorgeous skin, really they don't even wear make up....and this hurts so bad, because they can go anywhere and not worrying about their make up, or go over a friend house at night and not worrying about when they wash their skin, and they CAN be theirselves...I CAN'T....I am NEVER completely myself...I keep acting all starnge around people.

I was a really shy girl even before acne, and now, guess what? I'm at least 10x times more shy...

I feel that my friends are getting distant from me, slowly, but they are, and this maybe is the thing that hurts me the most...I need love and affection, like everyone, but sometimes I need more, and I don't get it...I mean love from my friends, because from my family I get it all....they go out and I can't because I don't feel good, so they get closer, and more far away from me, and when I go out with them, I am silently all the time, so I feel really bad and frustrated both cases....

Sorry if I used your thread to express my feelings I didn't want to, but they actually came out themselves....I really hope and I do think that things will get better....take care.

Stefy

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I am so glad that ou said how you feel and you let those emotions out. I'm not going to say yeah I know how you feel becaase each individual feels differently. I can however relate to everything you said. The best thing that happened to me yesterday at 11:30pm is I found this forum. What I want to say to you is you are never alone, you have people on here you can talk to and you should make the effort to express your feeling to those who can relate to you.

You remind me very much of my sister. She too suffers from acne ad one of the biggest regrets in life I have is that I didnt make enough of an effort to talk to her, take her to the movies or out to eat. I was too busy escaping my problems and belive me it hurts. I hope and pray that all of our acne gets better.

If you ever need to talk you know where to come. Now all I want from you is a smile :-)

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i posted a little while ago, and mine was very similar to yours in terms of depression, social anxiety, and this constant cloud hanging over your head...

if youre acne is really that bad (mine isnt so terrible, but i cant move past it anyway, probably because im crazy) then why not try accutane and see what it can do for you...

if not, focus on maintaining healthy skin by not overapplying too much medicinal crap, but mainly using face washes and moisturizer, eating natural foods and drinking lots of water

emotionally, you have to realize life is just a state of mind...people have different feelings and attitudes on everything which proves there is no right or wrong way to look at things, therefore, its in your best interest as a living person to give yourself the best outlook on life that you can. im not saying to immediately become the most social person, but focus on things other than acne. use anything you have interest in and explore those things more just to teach your mind to get over this obsession over acne, there will be times when you relapse and get depressed, but youll feel so much better about yourself when you see that youre actually moving in some sort of direction in life instead of dwelling on the sour points.

you have to just ask yourself the question of whether its worth living obsessing about being upset, or taking control of your mind and focusing on what you can do with yourself despite of this problem?

its not easy, but we can do it

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The_Underdog,

I simply want to thank you for letting that out, even if it is only online.

I know you aren't expecting that anything anyone says could help, and I don't think anything I could say could take away from the sorrow you feel.

I just hope that somehow you will find joy and something to believe in again.

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emotionally, you have to realize life is just a state of mind...people have different feelings and attitudes on everything which proves there is no right or wrong way to look at things, therefore, its in your best interest as a living person to give yourself the best outlook on life that you can. im not saying to immediately become the most social person, but focus on things other than acne. use anything you have interest in and explore those things more just to teach your mind to get over this obsession over acne, there will be times when you relapse and get depressed, but youll feel so much better about yourself when you see that youre actually moving in some sort of direction in life instead of dwelling on the sour points.

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