Am I a bad mother!

[Desperate mum 0]

My daughter acne seems to have got worst. At the beginning, she had a few spots, she made so much fuss that I spent loads of money trying this and that I found on the internet.

She is being seen by a Dematologist in UK, and the regimen appears to make her acne worse, her face is covered with nodular spots, the ones you cannot hide under make up. I cannot bear to look at her and if I am her mother, I cannot do that, how do I expect other people to react when they see her face. Am I a bad mother, I know there are things worst that bad skin. I have done everything humanely possible to help her but the acne persists, nothing she seems to help.

She has had two lots roaccutane and am wondering whether to get the Dermatologist to prescribe it to her again. I am just as stressed as her. She said, she does not think too much about it when she is busy at work. She works in London, but when she comes home, she gets depressed about it. I guess, I seem to bring the worst in her. My husband keeps blaming the topical cream her GP prescribed, it is Isotrex gel with erythrymocin gel. As it is now, she is in two months in her treatment, do not know what to do. Her next appointment with the Dermatologist is in March.

Her job involves meeting students. How do I feel for her? Her social life seems to be active, sometimes I feel like telling her to stay in. I do not want her to go out for reunion with her university friends who are all high flyers with a face like that and talk behind her about her face. Am I the one with the problem and being paranoid!! I am sure a lot of you will know how I feel. I am wondering whether there are mothers in this forum who feel like me.

Her spots come overnight and stay on her skin for months. At present, she is on two topical cream with antibiotic, doxycyline daily and N-lite every two months. I do not know whatelse we could do except going back on Raoccutane and again it might work this time.

Myself, I think nothing about her acne, I wish I could take it away. As a mother, I feel helpless!!

[Guest mishmosh]

no Im not a mother , but I was shocked that you think she should stay in and not socialise!

She has plenty of confidence. Who cares what other people think? What do you want - perfection? it doesnt exist.

[daisylove 0]

I think you are extremely honest, perhaps a little too honest! Please please please do not ever tell your daughter how you feel as you will destroy her. If we cant rely on our parents to support us then it takes away any confidence we do have. I know it must be hard to see your daughter suffering but you should always have supportive things to say to her, tell her she's beautiful to you, dont EVER tell her you think she should stay indoors!!! My mum was the same as you, she used to hardly look me in the eye when my acne was at its worse and it used to make me feel so small! Just be there for her and keep reassuring her. I guess you cant help the way you feel but do not tell her or you really will break her heart. Dont you think she's got enough to cope with?

[Guest mishmosh]

well put.

I think these sort of threads just add to young peoples paranoia about their self-image and what people think.

I hate negative threads like this.

[Polka 5]

Hi

I can only go on what I have read here, but it sounds like your attitude really isn't helping your daughter, if you make such a big deal about her face, she is going to think her face is really bad. Also, I reommenc you don't spend your money on all these n lite things... Its common to throw money at a problem to ease our worries but that often does not benefit us.

So she has had accutane on two occasions? And how did it help?

Also, what is the severeity of her acne?

I think antibiotic creams wouldn't help if accutane would not help, especially topicals, they are not very effective for bad cases.

Sorry if I have a bad tone here, its nothing perosnal I just am strsssed right now.

I hope your daughter clears soon.

[SCAR 4]

i think u should keep it hush hush

my mom once said i'll never get a gf because my acne was bad

and it made me hate her

but now i don't.

but it can destroy your relationship if you say stupid things. period.

[Guest *Clara]

Let her deal with her own problems. If she feels she needs help then she'll come to you. People have to learn things by themselves.

[Lazy Bar Steward 0]

Your a shocking mother. SORT IT OUT.

Support your daughter 110% or walk away.

J.

[guy20uk 0]

i agree, you are a bad mother. Sort yourself out and wake up. Your daughter needs as much support as possible. Life is precious, her youth is precious and while she has acne there is no reason to point it out to the extremes. You shud be teaching her that acne is not the end of the world. Let her live her life. Yes this world can be cruel, which is why she needs support, where else is she going to turn if her family are not behind the confidence that she needs.

[Guest mishmosh]

this thread is getting censored by mods and I want to know why !

[*Stefy* 1]

Hey, don't talk to her like that!! She is just so sorry that she can't help her daughter more, and you are just so rude!! I can understand her, because I used to see my sister's face when it was at its worst and I was feeling so sorry that I couldn't help her....

And OF COURSE she is NOT a bad mother...she just told the truth...maybe there is a bit of hypocrisia in each of us, and she, for once, has not made it come up...I mean, can you blame someone for have been honest????

I too think that maybe she wouldn't tell her daughter to stay in, because this could hurt her so bad, but there is ABSOLUTELY no reason to talk to her like that!

I've talked to her, she is really nice and sweet, not bad or all the things are you saying...

Don't loose the hope, desperate mum, you and your daugher will find the right way...

All the best,

Stefy

[rockonjl9 0]

she obviously cares about her daughter to be posting here, so don't call her a bad mother...even if her comments are alittle unsensitive..

[Crabby_Patty 0]

it sound to me that your daughter is getting on with life regardless of her skin, she has a job and enjoys going out . These are the things that should matter.

Just support her whatever she decides to do. I can understand that it is painful to see your children suffering but remember its her life it effects the most not yours.

[Guest mishmosh]

well she isnt going to get sympathy off other sufferers when she talks about her daughter like a lepper. I personally think she is tactless to post on a forum like this.

[Sweet_Morticia 0]

Wow, that makes me so thankful I had a mother who never put any sort of pressure on me about my looks. I'm sorry, but to say you can't stand to look at your daughter because of some acne? That's digusting.

[*Stefy* 1]

Wow, that makes me so thankful I had a mother who never put any sort of pressure on me about my looks.  I'm sorry, but to say you can't stand to look at your daughter because of some acne?  That's digusting.

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[Sweet_Morticia 0]

Wow, that makes me so thankful I had a mother who never put any sort of pressure on me about my looks.  I'm sorry, but to say you can't stand to look at your daughter because of some acne?  That's digusting.

←

Disgusting is actually that you think such a thing! No personal offence, anyway, I don't know you, I just gudged what you said, not you in person...

She can't stand looking at her daughter not because her face sucks to her, but necause she feels terribly sorry she can't help....look at things in a different way, please,,,

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[Trouble 0]

My daughter acne seems to have got worst.  At the beginning, she had a few spots, she made so much fuss that I spent loads of money trying this and that I found on the internet.

She is being seen by a Dematologist in UK, and the regimen appears to make her acne worse, her face is covered with nodular spots, the ones you cannot hide under make up.  I cannot bear to look at her and if I am her mother, I cannot do that, how do I expect other people to react when they see her face.  Am I a bad mother, I know there are things worst that bad skin.  I have done everything humanely possible to help her but the acne persists, nothing she seems to help.

She has had two lots roaccutane and am wondering whether to get the Dermatologist to prescribe it to her again.  I am just as stressed as her.  She said, she does not think too much about it when she is busy at work.  She works in London, but when she comes home, she gets depressed about it.  I guess, I seem to bring the worst in her.  My husband keeps blaming the topical cream her GP prescribed, it is Isotrex gel with erythrymocin gel.  As it is now, she is in two months in her treatment, do not know what to do.  Her next appointment with the Dermatologist is in March.

Her job involves meeting students.  How do I feel for her?  Her social life seems to be active, sometimes I feel like telling her to stay in.  I do not want her to go out for reunion with her university friends who are all high flyers with a face like that and talk behind her about her face.  Am I the one with the problem and being paranoid!!  I am sure a lot of you will know how I feel.  I am wondering whether there are mothers in this forum who feel like me.

Her spots come overnight and stay on her skin for months.  At present, she is on two topical cream with antibiotic, doxycyline daily and N-lite every two months.  I do not know whatelse we could do except going back on Raoccutane and again it might work this time. 

Myself, I think nothing about her acne, I wish I could take it away.  As a mother, I feel helpless!!

←

[Polka 5]

maybe she cannot stand looking at her because of the guilt she feels?

Yes her post was shameless in some respects, but she is indeed worried. But like I say, she seems to be a lot more worried then her daughter is. Wise up, don't make it worst then it is. DON'T MAKE ACNE AN ISSUE AND IT WON'T BECOME ONE.

[hansolo 0]

u remind me of the mother from the waterboy

[sick_skin 0]

if you read desperate mums post history it seems her daughter isn`t the only one who has skin problems..... (if (s)he has a daughter)

[hansolo 0]

dont tell me a fraud! she's a worse mother than i had thought!!

[thaxceptional1 5]

lmfao, this so called "daughter" is YOU...pathetic...

[David A 0]

The one time I talked to my mom about my acne was because I was have a emotional break down over it at one of my realy low points.....

The only thing she ever said was

Dave I didn't even think you were having these feellings, your face looks fine, your a handsome kid....

even though I know otherwise...thats what a mom is for.....I will never forget it..

But on the other hand...at least you have put effort into helping her,,,,,my mom didnt do much of that....

[sunshine76 0]

im so angry i cant believe what i have just read!!! Yes you are a bad mother and you are bordering on being a bad person. How can you say those things about your own daughter!!! You should be proud of her for not letting the acne control her life, at least she is still living her life and enjoying herself. It sounds to me like you are the one worried about what people think of you, does your daughters acne somehow make you look bad?? I think your issues are all about you and not her, and you are being selfish. The worst thing about your post is that alot of us are probably now wondering if our own parents have such thougths about us...i hope you dont come on this site again, its a support forum which is something you are obviously incapable of giving.