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kimberly1234

How do people react?

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Is it just me?? Can someone please tell me what they think:

I dont know if it is just the way I portray myself with no confidence or is it my acne scars that cause people to not really want to look at me, go out of their way to talk to me etc...I feel like an outcast sometimes...is it me or the acne scars that people cant face......Does anyone feel that they are/are not treated any differently even though they have scars?

I feel that this is the only thing people notice and judge me/treat me diffferently just because I have acne scars...Like I am a freak or something!!

Is anyone married - what do your spouses say/think?

My husband and his family are all into looks I feel like I dont fit in because of my scars :-k

Any advice? It may help my sanity! Thanks.

Sorry for the longness of this post!

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It's not just you -- others here have expressed similar thoughts.

It is probably a mixture of the way you portray yourself and the way that some people are. For the most part, I don't feel I am treated much differently. Most people treat me the same way (I think) as they do others. There are some people who I think notice my scars more than others and I think they are probably uncomfortable looking at me because they probably think I'll be self-conscious about it.

I have noticed that the worse I feel about myself, the worse others seem to feel about me (or the more uncomfortable they feel around me).

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Do an experiment -- "pretend" you don't have any scars - do what it takes to feel that way and see if people treat you differently. Do this for a few days, or a week.

I am married. My husband's family is more accepting of me than my own family. They love me and treat me well. I made a comment yesterday to my mother-in-law that I wanted to get some work done on my scars (needling). She said "you don't need to do that". I thought that was a very kind thing to say. I don't believe she would say something that she didn't believe just to make me feel better, either.

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Thanks Tamara! That really helps alot!    :D

I'm glad that it helped. Hopefully others will have their stories to add as well. :)

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hi

i think on the most part people will notice my confidence, or lack of it, in the way i behave, before they will notice the scars on my face.

i'm sure we've all had the experience of asking someone's oppinion about our scars and they've responded that they wouldn't be worried about it "a little thing like that".

but equally there have been times when someone i'm talking to has to look away or can't stop stairing at my skin.

i've had people say they admire my "amazing self acceptance".

if they only knew that "confidence" comes from large doses of painkillers.

:D/

one piece of advice constantly on offer is "to not worry about what other people think".

but that doesn't help me when i stand alone in my bathroom shaving.

the people that matter most to me inspire confidence not selfdoubt

well it was good to read you r post,

it takes someone who has shared the experience to understand i think

thanks

justin

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When my face was much worse than it is now i felt like everytime someone looked at me they would mention my pimples. Some did and this made me feel so so so very depressed. Just the fact that they mention it to me makes me feel bad. Even if they are trying to help or telling my my face is looking better. I just wish they didn't mention it at all. I felt like locking myself in my room all the time and not coming out. I felt bad around my family too. I would get into arguments with my brother and he would get me back by telling me about my face. I hated it so much. My face is alot better now and i don't think anyone treats me any differently. What i do is be really happy and angelic and make people laugh and have fun. This takes away from thinking people are examining your face cuz your having fun and not worrying. And it has made me quite closer to those who have problemed faces. I make them feel like they can talk easily and not have to worry about anything but having fun. I tried something on myself and it has made me be able to handle myself alot better....When i see that someone has a problemed face i think okay there is nothing different between the way i see than person to someone else. I find that i don't even notice peoples skin when i talk. I know that i felt really ashamed to talk to anyone who didn't have the same problem as me and what they'd think of me. But really, noone really notices your skin when your interacting with eachother. Skin, or any problem that you have is not something that should be worried about. Live life normally, because blemishes are part of life. Everyone, absolutly everyone goes through it at least once in there life. It's hard not to get depressed about it but think of the good things of life :D/

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My philosophy is...we have to "prove" ourselves all the time to people as opposed to clear skinned people who will get the benefit of the doubt, so yes I feel we are treated differently. However, I also believe we can overcome some of the discrimination by trying to remain positive and show some self confidence.

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I don't think that we get treated differently just because of our scars. I think it is the self-confidence too and the way we act because of the scars. I see this guy at school who has noticible acne scars but girls think he is so cute, probably because he has high self-confidence! But I do know what you're talking about....it is so hard to feel confident sometimes! Just remember, others don't notice them as much as you do. It probably doesn't look as bad as you think! And by the way you're not a freak just because you have acne scars :) !

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I just feel hopeless. Acne and and now my scars just bring so much unhappiness in my life. My acne is now almost gone thanks to accutane...but now my face is filled with rolling scars and redness. it looks worse than acne. I just look absolutely terrible. I just turned 16 and I feel like shit. I'm supposed to be having fun, dating, being with friends. But I feel like no one cares about me, not even my friends because they would rather hang out with better looking people. I feel like I have to work so hard to prove to people that I'm not some freak. The few bad qualities I have in my personality are magnified because people dont want to give me a chance. My face is going to be like this for the rest of my life. No one will find me attractive in my life. A lot of you had to suffer with this in your twenties and what not....I had to deal with this since I was 12........I feel like I've been cursed and I want to just die then live through all of this. I try so hard to be confident...but its just too hard. I just dont know....why me? Why have I been cursed? Like I said, i'm 16. I dont want to be like this. I wish I could just dream about a day when it would get better like my acne. But no, this is my scars and they arent going anywhere. I just wish I could blend in a crowd, but I stick out like an ugly sore thumb. Everyday I dream about being someone else. Someone hot and confident.

And yeah I think people treat me differently. People treat good looking people differently. I think thats a fact.

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I know people who have much worse acne than i do, and they have a boyfriend/girlfriend and 5x as many friends as I do.

It's all about the confidence.

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In college my roommate's girlfriend had major acne and major scarring. It's something I never noticed though. I had flawless skin back then. Maybe I was in my own world at the time, but it only occurred to me how much it affected her when my roomie told me about it. I was like oh man I never even thought about it. I guess I am saying this because it makes me think how much of it is really in our heads that people really notice or even care. Just my two cents.

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Yeah, it is definitely about confidence. If you don't care about your skin, chances are no-one else will either. I remember seeing a guy at uni once who literally did not have a patch of skin on his face that was acne free - his face was completely covered in acne but he had a girl.

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i lack confidence too...

i walk around school and honestly 49/50 have better skin than me and it hurts. all my close friends have perfect complexions.

it especially sucks when we take pictures and i see it and i can totally see redness on my face.

:D

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