Frances The Mute 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 I went outside to get the mail the other day and there was a diplodocus on my lawn. Usually, I wouldn't care about having a diplodocus on my lawn. It's really not that big of a deal, I mean, it's just a diplodocus, but this one was a total asshole. As soon as I opened the mailbox, the diplodocus closed it on me and gave me this look like "what are you going to do about it?" After he did it for the third time I asked him, politely, to stop. He laughed at me and started saying various racial slurs. "Listen, diplodocus," I said, sternly, "stop doing that, I need to get my mail.""Sure thing, faggot," replied the diplodocus, before he walked away. What was his problem? Seriously, I never thought a diplodocus could be so rude. A brachiosaurus, maybe, but not a diplodocus.Fast-forward to today. I was driving down the street and this car cut me off. Who was driving the car? Yep, the diplodocus. I pulled up next to him at the next stoplight and flipped him off. That's when the diplodocus pulled a gun on me and started shooting. One of the bullets grazed my shoulder, but I wasn't bleeding too badly. More than anything, I was really pissed off. When the diplodocus stopped to reload, I dove out of my car and punched him in the face. I kept taking swings at him until he fell out of his car. He managed to get away from me and when he reached the sidewalk, he drew a knife."Oh shit," I thought to myself, "I am going to get stabbed to death by a diplodocus." I looked down at the ground and saw, there on the pavement, the diplodocus' gun. I picked it up and put 2 in his chest. As he fell back, I put a few in his head.That'll teach that fucking diplodocus. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Solipsist 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 that happened to you, too? you're lucky it was only on your lawn. i had a pet diplodocus! ruined my life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ness25 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 um is the diplodocus a metaphor....coz i ain't getting it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatGuy16 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 I think those Accutane side effects are f*ckin you up man... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Marino Share Posted August 19, 2005 Dude, diplodocus is soooo 15,000,000 BC Get with the times man; Tyranosaurus>Dildodocus or whateva the fuck it is.Diplodous is just a gay herbivor, if it was alive today it would be the equivalant of michael jackson:Tyranosarus rex would most probably be the equivalant of Mr-T:Now seriously, who is owning who in this equation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Loro 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 i had an encounter with a diplodocus once. he said "can you make me a sandwich." i stared breifly and said "make your own damn sandwich." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Marino Share Posted August 19, 2005 i had an encounter with a diplodocus once. he said "can you make me a sandwich." i stared breifly and said "make your own damn sandwich."← Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diplodocus 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 foolish mortals! you've no idea the plans we have for your pathetic planet. for years we have kept away in hibernation, sleeping underneath big volcanos - but now! yes, now - we shall consume you all! and all the sandwiches, too! *muaha. muahahahaha.* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mongrel_goat 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 foolish mortals! you've no idea the plans we have for your pathetic planet. for years we have kept away in hibernation, sleeping underneath big volcanos - but now! yes, now - we shall consume you all! and all the sandwiches, too! *muaha. muahahahaha.*← Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thoney 0 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Hendrixisgod,lay off the psychedelics man! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MATTOB 0 Share Posted August 24, 2005 this is the funniest thread i've seen for ages lmao Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanmi 2 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Aww! But the diplodocus is so cute! I wanna kiss his cute little face Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Corvidae 0 Share Posted August 24, 2005 The thing I hate most, is that your average Diplodocus never leaves a tip at the restaurant, and if a service charge is included in the bill they get all grumpy and look like they're going to make a fuss with the waiters. To be honest, I don't go to restaurants now if I know a Diplodocus will coming along. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
[email protected] 0 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Dang! What are you people smoking?? But I have to admit, this is one frickin' funny thread...rotfl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Memorium 0 Share Posted August 24, 2005 The thing I hate most, is that your average Diplodocus never leaves a tip at the restaurant, and if a service charge is included in the bill they get all grumpy and look like they're going to make a fuss with the waiters. To be honest, I don't go to restaurants now if I know a Diplodocus will coming along.← Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kfdjkjsdf 1 Share Posted August 25, 2005 LOL, this is brilliant! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MATTOB 0 Share Posted August 25, 2005 En l'an 1456, Molasse le diplidocus renâclait àcrever leurs yeux, puis crever tout court. Autant dire que le petit bonhomme en mousse déambule dans la lune sous le regard de Vénus Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kfdjkjsdf 1 Share Posted August 26, 2005 All of you anti-diplodites need to can it. I'm all for the diplodocus equal rights movement. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diplodocus 0 Share Posted August 26, 2005 All of you anti-diplodites need to can it. I'm all for the diplodocus equal rights movement.← Quote Link to post Share on other sites
campfitnfun 0 Share Posted September 6, 2005 ROFL...(and feeding my pet Diplodocus a sandwich) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
