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So yeah .. I just got back from trying to go on a vacation with my boyfriend. I flew to Arkansas to then get in the car with him and take a road trip to go to Chicago for Formula D. The convention was outside so I got a pretty bad sunburn. But I notice the sun always makes my skin look a lot better. At least it did for about .. a night. By the next morning my skin looked terrible. Omer and I just kept having little fights about everything. Then somehow someone ended up stealing $200 from his wallet. And when we tried to get a hotel room, Omer argued with the guy until he finally gave us the room for $50. Then when we finally got back home to check his account balance, the hotel had overcharged him so now his account is at negative $90. So we had to cut the trip short since we had no money for food, or a hotel, or anything. He had to borrow money from his best friend just for gas money so we could get back home. Now he is completely broke. He has two 100 dollar bills to pay in two days. Oh and on the way back home, he got a speeding ticket, for doing 80 in a 70. I fucking hate asshole cops.

Now all I can do again is cry. Not because my skin is terrible. But because now I know what it is like to feel helpless like I probably make him feel. Because when he tries to cheer me up about my skin nothing really ever works.

And I just want him to be happy. I keep telling him the situation could be a lot worse, but really, I hate when people tell me that. Because I know it could be worse. I'm not stupid. But I haven't yet experienced worse. So until I have, I don't know what worse is going to be like.

One good thing that came out of this though, I realize that even through the most stressful situations we can still deal and love eachother. I still just wish I could turn in to a magical fairy and wave a wand and just make him insanely rich so money could stop being an issue. I crave the ideals of a Utopian society.

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wow doesnt sound like that holiday could have turned out much worse. sorry about that, it sounds cliché, but things will get better. at least you are still positive, now youre home things can get back to normal and youre skin will get better. mine freaks out from stress too, since I quit my job, to find a better one, its looking real good!

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