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marcin872

how acne has ruined my life

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well it all started when i was about to enter highschool freshmen year when i developed acne. At first it wasnt that bad but then it got to the point where i finally had to go see a derm. After this everyting in my life changed especially high school which is sopposed to be your best years of your life. Well guess what mine wasnt it was the horrible and i didnt even look forward to going to school. I was preety popular in 8 th grade and i was a good looking guy that must girls liked. Once i entered high school i stopped talking to people and became very quiet and was always the quietest kid in class. As the years past by nothing got better it only got worse and i became even more depressed and hated life. I used to play basketball for my school and i stopped playing and preety much didnt do anything but stay home and in my room. Sometimes my face would get good enough that i would be able to go out and hang out with my friends but that was only like maybe 1 every month and a half. I went on vacation i remember before i had acne when i was entering highschool and i had a crush on this girl that was my friends cuzin and she was so beautiful and we flirted alot and liked eachother but never hooked up and then when i was talking to her online she said that next year we will definetly be together more and i couldent wait cuz i never felt like this for a girl before. Then when i was getting acne and summer was coming close all i could think about is please go away just for 2 weeks in the summer so she doesnt have to see me this way.Well i didnt and when we went back on vacation like we do every year she came. It was awful i barely talked to her because i was to scared to even look at her with my face. She looked at me differently and she even started not liking me. then came sophmoe year another horrible year and then junior year which was worse and then finally senior year the best year in the world for most people. My acne is still hear after 4 years i still only have a couple of close friends and i dont go out at all. My mom and sister even make fun of me all the time which hurts alot that i dont go out that im lazy and that somethings wrong with me and i need help or someting but they dont understand what i go threw everyday. My sister is the really popular and had hundreds of freinds and bf and she doesnt unerstand anyhing i go threw and howe lucky she is that she has great skin. I never talked to girls my whole highschool years never had a gf yet which is awful because i dont have enough confidence to talk to a girl. I didnt go to my senior prom because of this. I missed out on alot of great things that could of been happened. Sometimes i wonder what if i never had acne how things would be different in highschool. Ive had a really preety girl talk to me a few times and i actually sat next to and im guessing she like me but i had no confidence to talk to her so i kindsa agnored her and i regret it cuz she is still on my mind. The bad part is im a really good looking guy if i had no acne i would be able to get girl have funs have alot of friends and be happy but i cant. I just finished grafuating highschool and im not looking forward to college. Its summer now and im having no fun but sitting at home all day. I would never think that acne woud ruin someones life this bad but it did for me and i feel sorry for those oth people out that feel like me. Ive cryed a few times asking why me why not my sister why did u pick me to give this to. Even my friend asked me before which is preety embarrasing he said why dont u have a gf u dont talk to girl at school, ur a preety good looking guy and stuff why not. I didnt know what to say ya its easy for him to say he doesnt have what i have even when my acne is loooking decent i still have no confidence becaus ei think people are looking at me funny. I dunno im just scared that im going to have this till im in my latge 20s and become a nobody and waste my life on nothing.

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Marcin:

If high school is supposed to be the best years of your life - then why bother going on? I don't mean that sound rude, not at all. What I'm saying is sure - high school is supposed to be a nice time of your life, but not the best, NO WAY! My life was pretty good in high school, but it has been infinitesmally better than that since then and before, too! Don't get discouraged.

I bet you, one day, you will look back and realize how much better your life has become. The hard work of making it so, though, comes down to you.

I didn't have acne until my early 20's. I'm now 33 and still have it, though it's gotten better some in the past few months. I now have scars, though, so what's the difference, right?

Okay. I'll tell you the difference. I went to college. I played two sports. I had boyfriends. I went to grad school and got degrees in medicine and biology. I made friends who I'll love and will love my forever. I've travelled all over the world. I work for the Navy as a civilian now and get to crawl around in fighter jets to make sure they're safe, and test survival gear so that soldiers and sailors can do their jobs better. I'm close with my family, and found others who've become family. I still get to travel for work and for fun. I met my soulmate last year when my acne was it's worst and I was so terribly sick...

And then my soulmate was killed in Iraq on 26 November. I've had other disappointments, too. I had a stalker who hurt me really bad (45 stitches in my arm from a knife wound). The acne. Becoming diabetic. Three miscarriages. People saying terrible things to me about my acne.

When I get depressed - really bad - I remember this. I remember that I have LIVED, fully and loved fully and worked as hard as I could - and that is ALL that will matter in this life!!!!

You're young, Marcin. GO, just go, you sweet young man! You are wonderful, and awesome! Find who you are and what you want and go get it! Go take and get and draw out everything that's good in this life, or you will be older someday and regret it, and it will make your acne look like no big deal in comparison. I promise you that. Stop, look, and think about what you can do to make your life the best it can be. Please. You are too young to be this bitter.

:o)

karmagirl

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your story sounds exactly like mine....

went out with this girl for a year between 7th and 8th grade. we started talking a lot over the summer going into high school and im positive if i didn't develop acne we would have gone out again. im going into 11th now and hopefully will be clear by the time school starts with the help of accutane!

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i feel u bro. your message echos how i've lived. i'm turning 24 now and still have acne. i've been soo depressed in my life that my sleep's been affected and i don't sleep soundly like normal people do. however, speaking from experience, i think you should just take little steps to live. start by going out more, join a club, and learn to battle through difficulties, like looking ppl in the eye for instance. i've worked as a cashier parttime during college and take it from me, it was incredibly agonizing. imagine seeing all the customers looking at your face and thinking your abnormal and beneath them. i couldve easily quit the job and went home but i had no choice, i needed the money for school. working in the public was excrutiating with acne but what i learned was just to step it up, boost my game, and not let myself be lower than anyone else. i know its hard but the only way to beat this is to confront it. for me, i'm still learning but i'm getting there. i know i'm a lot stronger person from acne than w/o it and i can't wait to overcome this and be on top. like you, i'm a pretty good looking guy w/o all this acne stuff but i try to be optimistic and not lose faith. just keep in mind that once its all gone, that we will own.

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I would like to thank marcin872 for sharing those thoughts. It also sounds like my teen years the age when I got acne (cystic the worse type) was the same, and I remember one of my sisters making fun of it. Man that hurt. It also affected my social life and I dated rarely just like you. But I slowly got out more. I went on to university. I'm not married yet but would like to someday.

You are lucky that accutane is available now. It wasn't approved in Canada when I got my acne, so all they really had were antibiotics and they didn't work for me, hence I have scarring.

I remember I went in to my family doctor once and asked him is there any hope for my acne scars because I feel I can't get a girlfriend because of it. He told me that I just have to be more assertive around women and not to waste my money on treatments. I am working on that now. You just have to come out of your shell.

I was thinking yesterday about what were going to think when we all get old or are about to die. I will probably think what a waste it was to worry my acne scarring, when I could have been out enjoying life.

Like the guy said before me. Before you go out get your head up, shoulders back and act as confident as you can. (pretend you're superman if you want whatever helps) And look people straight in the eye even though they may not look you straight in the eye at times. Take Care. Hope that helps

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Sometimes i wonder what if i never had acne how things would be different in highschool. Ive had a really preety girl talk to me a few times and i actually sat next to and im guessing she like me but i had no confidence to talk to her so i kindsa agnored her and i regret it cuz she is still on my mind. The bad part is im a really good looking guy if i had no acne i would be able to get girl have funs have alot of friends and be happy but i cant.
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no i didnt mean that high school was the best times of your life because of chasing girls all the time lol i mean ur sopposed to have some fun in going to school have good memories, meet lot of people and make many friends thta u would have after high school. Ya meeting a few girls wouldent be bad either. Come one i was like the only senior that didnt go to prom lol it really is funny but sad at the same time. I have no good memories from high school not one day all i remember is going to school and putting my head down and hiding my face by goiig to sleep. Look at my sister she is really popular and i could tell when she was going to school she was having fun. im not even joking she had like 100 friends and more maybe everybody likes her and she is mad social and she goes out all the time has fun comes home late from partying and doing stuff while im in my room doing nothing and bummed out like crazy. I actually had a chance to go on vacation to poland when my sister went and i love going there its alot of fun to see your family and cuzins but i didnt because they dont know that my face is messed up like this and i dont want it to be akward and go and feel even worse there. IM telling u i hate this it pisses me off. Right now my acne aint that bad but i still wont go out cuz in the mirror i dont like what i see plus my skin is really oily so it looks worse. Why the fuck cant they make a cure for acne everything else but not this. I definetly know people have it worse than me because mine aint that bad i dont have cysts acne i have different types but its still sorta bad especially when i look into a bad mirror thats when i get really depressed cry.gif

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just try to remember that highschool is only a very very small part of your life, when you put it in perspective, it is only 4 years. Once it is over and you are an adult, you will look back and find it funny that you put so much emphasis on highschool, it's just a drop in the bucket. Better days are ahead for you, don't think that this is all there is, because there is so much more out of highschool.

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i got acne in grade 8 summer too

i had a crush on this girl who i also talked to on msn. we were gunna meet at camp right before school started. when i saw her again i talked to her maybe twice during a two week period because of my acne.

i became alot quieter in grade 9. i still had friends though.

i played on the bball team every year yet still played in grade 9.

the only differences we have are that i tried my best to never give up and just continued to not give a fuck about what anyone thinks. i didnt give a shit about girls and just chilled with my friends. in the end, my friends were really there for me and i really appreciate them being there for me.

pc

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yeah, dude, that's my story right there too, almost exactly. Acne pretty much ruined my life throughout my freshman and soph years, and cost me a girl who i'd liked for 7 years (she moved away JUST when I was getting over the stupid self-conscious stage sad.gif ) aanyway, by watching my friends I kept telling myself 'if they can do it, why can't I? I'm no different just bc of my face' so I managed to get a lot of missed stuff accomplished in my senior year alone, especially prom night, which I attended with a very sweet, sxc girl/borderline gf who did't give a rat's *** how my face looked. Seriously, I'd forget all my probs just by looking at her:p and she had her choice of more attractive guys, there was even this 'alpha male' who tried to cut in while i was dancing with her, heheh, that didn't work out for him very well, I had her for the whole of prom night:D (and no, she wasn't drunk;))

Anyway, seriously man, you're no different. You might have a hundred bumps and dents on your face, but in the end they're just that. They don't magically drive away everyone, you do. And girls are just like guys cept they're prettier and have higher pitched voices for the most part (and several other doohickeys which i will not get into right now;)) just remember that. They're your buddies, and the ones who move away from u just cuz u dont fit their physical standards are too shallow for you.

It's an odd thing to say, and some people will probably flame me for it XD, but you might even say acne is a good thing in a way that it filters out all the shallow physical relationships and nets you all the deep ones that result in much, much more;) I can guarantee you, no amount of acne or scarring is going to drive away true (sane) friends.

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Guest tenshigirl25

consider accutane? maybe your skin isnt that bad, but if u act sad and distant, its th 1st thing ppl will notice about u is your acne and low self esteem. most girls go for confidenc and character over looks, i think maybe your skin isnt as bad as u think. especially if ur friends are tlling u are good looking guy. im 25, dont be stuck thinking negative the next 5 to 7 years. i wish i had taken accutane or not messed with my skin so much back then.

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make a goal to try to get your acne controlled by college. A lot of people like college more than hs anyway. If ya go away to college like i want to do its like starting a whole new life. If you're in college already make a goal to get acne gone before you move on to the real world thats like starting a whole new life too.

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It's an odd thing to say, and some people will probably flame me for it XD, but you might even say acne is a good thing in a way that it filters out all the shallow physical relationships and nets you all the deep ones that result in much, much more;) I can guarantee you, no amount of acne or scarring is going to drive away true (sane) friends.

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Guest delta force operators

to cure your acne, post in the holistic section i know this may not work for everyone, but it surely has eliminated my acne, i only get break outs when i cheat on the diet now, i also take supplements, everyone with acne should be taking, these arnt secrets i think this is something everyone should know..

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