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I'm not trying to judge anyone, because no matter what happens to each one of us in life, we all react and feel differently. However, I will say I have the worst acne scarring here, and my life has been nothing ever since the age of 13. Here is a short story of my life...

Age 13 - I developed acne, and it was disfiguring. It wasn't moderate, or your regular teenage acne...it was horrible. The acne came in the summer of my transitioning year into 8th grade. I went back to 8th grade, and my face was full of disfiguring acne. I was in denial at this point, because I told myself that it was just puberty, and it would go away soon. Therefore, I had hope. People looked at me strange, and maybe one or two people made fun of me, but for the most part, people kept quiet about it, because I was 6'0 and pretty angry.

Age 14 - So, the summer came around again, and I figured that I had acne all year long in the 8th grade, and it would be gone by 9th grade. However, this did not happen. I went back to school, and I felt so ashamed of my face, that I started to wear this oxy concealer. People didn't say anything, but I simply don't think that people didn't notice make-up on a boy's face. Needless to say, I didn't make it a semester. I got extremely depressed, because I felt like a complete and utter loser, so I dropped out of school in the 9th grade. Then, I began sleeping all day. I would just sleep to hide from reality.

Age 22 - I am currently 22 years old, and i've gotten on accutane. The acne is gone, but I now have horrible acne scarring. So, I still sleep all day, and I have no job. I only leave the house at night to play basketball.

Point is, i'm the same person at age 22 as I was at 14. I have progressed none. My faith in God has gone stronger, but I live the same exact life, basically.

Don't be like me, folks. If you're young, and thinking that acne will go away...Don't. Get on accutane, and put an end to the acne before it disfigures you to the point of scarring.

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I was going to jump in and say "Betchya I could top you."

And then I actually read your post and saw what you were talking about.

This makes me very grateful to know that while the rest of my life has not been easy, my acne has always been fairly mild.

You folks have a cross to bear, indeed. It's not the same as mine, but it's got to hurt all the same.

*hugs* Keep sharing, we're listening.

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Of course, there are a lot of things in between those years...such as cutting, being admitted into psychiatric wards, and tons of perscription pills for depression, social anxiety, etc. I just want to talk about the bottom line, though.

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Yep, I hear ya' hon on those experiences. Totally hear you. You aren't alone.

Bottom line is never really easy, because it takes a hell of alot to get there. No one gets through it clean, and some of us don't get through it with all our limbs intact, and a few of us don't get through it all.

I would say being here at all is enough to deserve a medal. But I don't know if that will help you.

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I can't possibly relate to the pain you've gone through, but the fact that you have come out the other side okay says alot about you as a person. Even though it may not have left you unscathed you still beat acne, and you're a stronger person for it.

j

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i know where you're coming from, man. i started getting severe cystic acne at around 15, and just recently (i'm 18) has it started dwindling down. as is natural from having that kind of acne, i do carry scarring on my face - and i know the feelings of pure alienation that accompany, even from family. hang in there, and if you ever need to vent, know that this board is here to listen. we're all in this together.

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i am only 16 yet have gone through a similar experience and still kind of am. i had very severe acne at the age of 14 yet I didn't believe it was so bad and truly thought it would go away because it was just a "phase". for some people it's a phase, but for others it's an unfair struggle that may be with you for years. i luckily went on accutane, yet like you and many others, have been left with scarring. these scars may be with me for life, yet I am researching as best I can for some sort of laser scar removal. although the scars may be gone with some sort of surgery, i will remain emotionally scarred with sad memories.

anyways,

even though i have scars im still happy smile.gif so cheer up!

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Emotional scars..........no, those don't go away.

But they do fade eventually. These things change us forever, yes. And it'll hurt like hell in the cold and the lonley (just like physical scars).....but they do fade.

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scarredandsad - i know it's difficult, but try to think of your scarring as a mirror of your heart: the experiences you've been through, the pain and the sadness. if you really start believing, it can almost make you proud to bear the physical marks of your struggle.

only people in denial would refuse to try this - that is, those who still believe their scars will somehow fade without effort. a guy named john cage (great composer) said that once he asked himself why a certain many things were not beautiful, and then he shortly discovered that there was no reason. there is beauty in all things, man, if you're willing to search deep enough.

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Guest Craigems

These days scarring can be fixed pretty well. Plastic surgery is like fantastic i've seen some people before and after and god they look hot afterwards (acne scarring). Theres hope... theres always hope mate.

I know and understand what ur going through like the most of us here. Goodluck and god-bless.

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I wish I could say that I've felt your pain, but I haven't.

I don't know if my skin is different or what, but I've had pretty moderate acne, almost severe, and my face never scars. At all.

All I can say is that you are smart to stay strong in your resolve, but try to keep pushing for a solution to your scarring problem. Let the end justify the means. If there is something that you think can help any bit for your scarring, then try it.

Good luck.

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AcneScarredAndSad05,

I am sad to hear about your trials in this life. Of course, the depression is the most concerning. Something Ive come to understand is that depression is something that is inside you. What I mean is that some people are more prone to it, while others are not. Especially with your cutting.

My only option for my depression was to look in the mirror and decide that I was better then that. But you may need some counceling. It would really help.

And about the scars, have you heard of the homeopathic remedies? I know it sounds rediculous, but there seems to be a lot of people with great results. Im a broke ass, and going threw a very(VERY VERY VERY) messy divorce, so plastic surgery is totally out of the question. Ive started taking the home made silica, and Im seeing improvements in my ice picks after only a week!

the web site that I have been going to is abchomeopathy.com, type in acne in the search and TONS of stuff will come up. Its pretty amazing. Plus, the home made stuff is free, no real risk in trying it.

One piece of advice, focus on the good things in your life, not the bad. If there is no good in it right now, find something good, do something good, and hold on to it. The more succluded you make your self, the more succluded you'll feel.

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I got extremely depressed, because I felt like a complete and utter loser, so I dropped out of school in the 9th grade. Then, I began sleeping all day. I would just sleep to hide from reality.

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Guest Marino

Hey Pal,

I know you've had a tough life and all but you seem to be an intelligent and healthy person [well you have to be to play baketball cool.gif ].

Alot of people have problems that are more than superficial [scars], most physical imperfections can corrected or at least improved.

My acne was a total wieght on my shoulders, i almost got the point of being antisocial however i got a part time job, started studying acne and got to be clear where i am now.

I can understand taking time out because of the scars [i'm doing the same at the moment but I'm getting 2 TCA peels in late August for my red marks] however I think you can do yourself a favour by getting a job and building up the money you need to lessen the scaring [plus research on scar treatments]. Think of it as an investment, once your confident with your skin you can continue a normal life.

Money can cure physical problems, pyschological to an extent, but i think getting a job and investing in your skin will get your life back on track, you could probably make up for the time you missed out on.

If you feel uncomfortable working around people, get one of those "work from home" jobs or think about night shift. Theres plenty of alternatives. We have a cleaner at my work who has been with our company for 25 years, I saw her for the first time about a month ago. She only works 3 hours 4:00am in the morning and sees no one [she's a nice person but was disfigured at birth, I don't want to say anymore about a disfigurment coz it might be disrespectful] although she didn't say she works those hours to not be around people coz of the disfigurement i can rest assure it would be ideal for someone who doesn't feel comfortable around people. Ask arond, you'd be suprised which jobs are intotal solidarity.

Once you got the dough you can't go wrong. Plus you'll have something to do everyday, besides basketball, it would make life much more worth living. Especially when the prize at the end is great skin.

Marino

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Thanks for all the replies and attempts at encouragement, guys. It's nice to take time out for another. However, I will say that i've heard it all before, and there's nothing anyone can say or do to help me. I still fantasize about suicide from time to time, and I don't really see much of a future for myself. I don't think i'll kill myself, but i'll probably die alone, without friends, and without ever being comfortable within myself. The feelings inside of me are not something that can be explained, so I won't even attempt to. People look at the black and white, but they can never see the grey area that some of us live in. The grey area that is constantly stealing, beating, and tearing us down when we try to pull ourselves out.

My whole point of making this thread was to warn people. Don't waste your time with topical solutions if you have severe acne. Don't let your dermatologist waste your life away. The dermatologists I went to growing up wasted my time, my mother's money, and basically, my life. Don't let them do it to you. Demand accutane, and if they refuse you, go to another dermatologist.

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Hi! Another fellow floridian i see. biggrin.gif *Huggz*

Anyways, have u considered taking up schooling again? Or getting a job? Etc? Just anything to keep yourself busy. Maybe the reason you're so depressed has more to do with inactivity than acne. It always helps to keep busy because it keeps your mind from wondering back to self loathing/pity. Since u sleep all day, u have nothing to look forward to also and i know that would totally depress me.

Also, have u done the peels or microdermabrasion (whatever it's called. I'm no expert on these things) to help with your acne scars? I've heard those work well. Also, there are lots of makeup u can use that look natural and that'll help u face the world again (believe me. makeup does give u more confidence).

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I've done numerous microdermabrasions...nothing. I've done peels...nothing.

My scarring is to severe for such mild treatments.

I know what needs to be done, but I have to come up with the money, and I have to be off tane for six months before I can have any facial treatment done. The acne will probably comeback once I get off tane, though.

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Don't be like me, folks. If you're young, and thinking that acne will go away...Don't. Get on accutane, and put an end to the acne before it disfigures you to the point of scarring.

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