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LibbyM

Acne scarring can be a sign of a GOOD THING

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Now that you are discussing causes of  scarring I can tell you that stress absolutely turned my mild acne into serious cystic acne. I was so scared. I remember my mom's advice to see a dermatologist still ring in my ear. I went to my family doctor to get a referral but he decided to try to treat it with just antibiotics. The cysts just sat there on my face for months. I was so pissed off at this doctor for not sending my to a derm right away. I was so young I didn't know enough to put my foot down and tell him to send me to  a derm NOW.

Any way I feel because I wasn't treated properly by a derm, I ended up badly scarred.

I worry about it too much. SOmetimes I can't concentrate at work. It's hard to work around people with perfect skin. Sometimes I actually overhear them talking about my scarring as being gross. They say it just loud eneough so I can hear it. I've left jobs for those reasons.  In fact I recently left a job where this great looking guy who was from a rich family constantly gossiped about my scarring. We'll I soon stopped talking to him altogether and he was in the next cubicle. God I hated him. They let me go from that job I know it was because of not talking to some in the office.

I think all people with acne scarring should take some self assertiveness training. or lessons in developing self confidence. FOr me I have to catch myself thinking negative thoughts and turn them around quick or they will ruin my day..

We all have to forget about mistakes we have made in the past. Put the thoughts of your youth when you had acne behind you.

I figure I'm 41 now and I am not going to waste any more time worrying about these damn scars. People will notice and talk. To hell with them.

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I know the picture of you is small, but you look beautiful lexy. Don't let anyone tell you different.

It's funny but I have had some people say i'm good looking. But I know that when I meet people that I just don't like they bring up acne scarring as a weapon to use against me.

I'm just going to enjoy my life and maybe even get married some day. Thanks for reading take care.

Now that you are discussing causes of  scarring I can tell you that stress absolutely turned my mild acne into serious cystic acne. I was so scared. I remember my mom's advice to see a dermatologist still ring in my ear. I went to my family doctor to get a referral but he decided to try to treat it with just antibiotics. The cysts just sat there on my face for months. I was so pissed off at this doctor for not sending my to a derm right away. I was so young I didn't know enough to put my foot down and tell him to send me to  a derm NOW.

Any way I feel because I wasn't treated properly by a derm, I ended up badly scarred.

I worry about it too much. SOmetimes I can't concentrate at work. It's hard to work around people with perfect skin. Sometimes I actually overhear them talking about my scarring as being gross. They say it just loud eneough so I can hear it. I've left jobs for those reasons.  In fact I recently left a job where this great looking guy who was from a rich family constantly gossiped about my scarring. We'll I soon stopped talking to him altogether and he was in the next cubicle. God I hated him. They let me go from that job I know it was because of not talking to some in the office.

I think all people with acne scarring should take some self assertiveness training. or lessons in developing self confidence. FOr me I have to catch myself thinking negative thoughts and turn them around quick or they will ruin my day..

We all have to forget about mistakes we have made in the past. Put the thoughts of your youth when you had acne behind you.

I figure I'm 41 now and I am not going to waste any more time worrying about these damn scars. People will notice and talk. To hell with them.

Dhouston,

I am so sorry you've had to put up w/ that in your life. It sounds like the people you've worked w/ are really immature. What, is this third grade or something? I don't know how people can get-off on that kind of behavior, they simply must not have lives.

I know how it feels to be surrounded w/ people that have perfect skin. Sometimes I think people talk about me behind my back too. It looks like you've managed to take control of a lot of the negative thoughts you get from it though. I have been trying, but it's difficult at times.

It would be nice if we lived in a world where we weren't judged by what we look like, how much money we have, or who we know. I guess the best we can do is weed out the idiots, keep genuine people in our lives, and try to stay positive. Thanks for this post houston, it's given me some things to think about.

-lexy

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People don't notice, they don't care. They don't mind if you have acne scars or cancer or three legs. People are way too busy with their lives to care about other people's scars. If they did then they would care about every health problem, ugly nose, unshaped/non muscular/ fatty body of other people etc and all these would eventually driven them crazy, made them incapable of surviving and the human race would cease to exist. I suppose you won't be able to get jobs where good looks are of number one importance or get great looking intimate partners, but that's all.

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A lot of times it's the thoughts that are running through your mind that tell you your not attractive. And that causes unnecessary worry. I know because I think those thoughts too

YOu kind of have to learn to catch yourself thinking these negative thoughts and turn them into positives.

Or you could try the old theory of "beginning with the end in mind."

By that I mean "act as if " you already have perfect skin and are great looking. (Which judging from your pic I think you already are good looking, I'm sure your boyfriend agrees)

Take care lex. and get tough with your thinking and how your mind works.

I suppose you won't be able to get great looking intimate partners, but that's all.

I beg to differ wink.gif

You know, I honestly don't think acne scars make people ugly. I think it makes ME ugly, but that's because I'm seriously way too hard on myself.

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OH... MY... GOD!!!!!

dhouston I just cannot ****ing believe those people!!!!! How horrible!!! I commend you for not punching their lights out. Reading your post just makes my blood boil and I wish I could have worked with you so I could have told them to f*** off!!! (then again it's probably good I didn't because I probably would have gone a little psycho on them).

On the positive side, however, I really do believe there is such a thing as karma, and that we suffer as much pain as we cause. Those people you talked about are obviously not contented, secure people. NOBODY talks sh*t about other people like that - particularly not within earshot - unless they're unhappy about some major aspect of their lives.

A few years ago I worked with this guy who I busted talking sh*t about the way I dressed. True, I have a bit of an odd taste in fashion, but when he realized he got caught, he was sooooo apologetic, and I made like I blew it off, but really, since then I saw him for what he really was: an insecure kiss ass who needed to cut other people down in order to make himself feel better. There are a lot of people who just don't know how to take the high road. Even through their adult lives, they sadly cling to the second-grade notion that they can feel like one of the tallest trees in the forest by mowing a few feet off the top of all the other trees around them, rather than learning how to stretch further towards the sun. And I know I don't have to tell you the people who pull that kind of sh*t are seriously insecure LOSERS (hm, well I guess I'm saying nasty things myself right now but I save my ire for ***holes who dish it out on innocent people!)

btw for what it's worth, i know you mentioned that you were upset that you didn't get to see a dermatologist earlier. Well, I don't know if this will help ease your frustration at all, but my family doctor prescribed antibiotics (tetracycline) for me, too, and I still wanted to see a dermatologist. So I saw one, and guess what HE prescribed? The same damn thing! I swear to god, my dermatologist must have paid for his freaking HOUSE with all the tetracycline he probably prescribed back in the 80's. Tetracycline was all the rage back then. It just DISGUSTS me. I'll never forget how nasty that stuff was, especially when it would dissolve in my throat before it hit my stomach. EWWW!! But there was nothing else, really, besides accutane, which I think is even worse. Back then, docs just wrote out antibiotic prescriptions like docs prescribe ritalin for kids nowadays. I wish I could take back all those years I was on it (I'd say it was probably 5 years total). Even when I convinced my doc to let me go on Accutane for cystic acne, I STILL wound up with lots of scarring! And I had 3 rounds of it!!!

I hate to think of you feeling mad about what happened, because I know the anger just makes things worse. So many docs didn't have a clue back then (not that they're all super-enlightened now, but at least there are more options). I sure wish they'd made ProActiv solution back when I was in high school!!! But anyway it sounds like you are a very intelligent person and you deserve a lot better than to work with a bunch of idiots. I hope you are able to find a job you like better, with people who treat you well. One of the good things about getting older is that we can ultimately choose where we work and who we hang out with (unlike when we're in grade/high school and forced to be around people we can't stand!)

agua2004, I totally agree, other people usually don't have the energy to care that much about how other people look. If they do, it's usually stemming from some kind of gnawing insecurity they've got with themselves. It takes a hell of a lot of extra energy to actually focus that much on other people when we've all got so many of our own problems to deal with (then again, it's always easier for losers to focus on OTHER peoples' problems than deal with their own, eh!!!)

Lexy, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and it's cool that you recognize you are being hard on yourself more than anyone is being hard on you. That's something I still have to remind myself of!

Libby

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Thanks Libby

Your comments about your family doc and antibiotics sounded like my experience. When I had my cystic acne I believe accutane was not released to the public at least not in canada. So antibiotics were the drug of choice as you say.

I don't feel bad at not being at my job. I do miss the nice people there, but the few that were idiots were the ones I had to work with closest. Oh we'll. I'll find something else. I'm going to take a few weeks off and enjoy some of our nice summer weather here in Canada.

I was thinking maybe I should avoid office work. Man I must look like crap under that horrible flourescent lighting. Or maybe I could find a job working in total darkness?

Thanks see ya

OH... MY... GOD!!!!!

dhouston I just cannot ****ing believe those people!!!!! How horrible!!! I commend you for not punching their lights out. Reading your post just makes my blood boil and I wish I could have worked with you so I could have told them to f*** off!!! (then again it's probably good I didn't because I probably would have gone a little psycho on them). 

On the positive side, however, I really do believe there is such a thing as karma, and that we suffer as much pain as we cause. Those people you talked about are obviously not contented, secure people. NOBODY talks sh*t about other people like that - particularly not within earshot - unless they're unhappy about some major aspect of their lives.

A few years ago I worked with this guy who I busted talking sh*t about the way I dressed. True, I have a bit of an odd taste in fashion, but when he realized he got caught, he was sooooo apologetic, and I made like I blew it off, but really, since then I saw him for what he really was: an insecure kiss ass who needed to cut other people down in order to make himself feel better. There are a lot of people who just don't know how to take the high road. Even through their adult lives, they sadly cling to the second-grade notion that they can feel like one of the tallest trees in the forest by mowing a few feet off the top of all the other trees around them, rather than learning how to stretch further towards the sun. And I know I don't have to tell you the people who pull that kind of sh*t are seriously insecure LOSERS (hm, well I guess I'm saying nasty things myself right now but I save my ire for ***holes who dish it out on innocent people!)

btw for what it's worth, i know you mentioned that you were upset that you didn't get to see a dermatologist earlier. Well, I don't know if this will help ease your frustration at all, but my family doctor prescribed antibiotics (tetracycline) for me, too, and I still wanted to see a dermatologist. So I saw one, and guess what HE prescribed? The same damn thing! I swear to god, my dermatologist must have paid for his freaking HOUSE with all the tetracycline he probably prescribed back in the 80's. Tetracycline was all the rage back then. It just DISGUSTS me.  I'll never forget how nasty that stuff was, especially when it would dissolve in my throat before it hit my stomach. EWWW!! But there was nothing else, really, besides accutane, which I think is even worse. Back then, docs just wrote out antibiotic prescriptions like docs prescribe ritalin for kids nowadays. I wish I could take back all those years I was on it (I'd say it was probably 5 years total). Even when I convinced my doc to let me go on Accutane for cystic acne, I STILL wound up with lots of scarring! And I had 3 rounds of it!!!

I hate to think of you feeling mad about what happened, because I know the anger just makes things worse. So many docs didn't have a clue back then (not that they're all super-enlightened now, but at least there are more options). I sure wish they'd made ProActiv solution back when I was in high school!!! But anyway it sounds like you are a very intelligent person and you deserve a lot better than to work with a bunch of idiots. I hope you are able to find a job you like better, with people who treat you well. One of the good things about getting older is that we can ultimately choose where we work and who we hang out with (unlike when we're in grade/high school and forced to be around people we can't stand!)

agua2004, I totally agree, other people usually don't have the energy to care that much about how other people look. If they do, it's usually stemming from some kind of gnawing insecurity they've got with themselves. It takes a hell of a lot of extra energy to actually focus that much on other people when we've all got so many of our own problems to deal with (then again, it's always easier for losers to focus on OTHER peoples' problems than deal with their own, eh!!!)

Lexy, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and it's cool that you recognize you are being hard on yourself more than anyone is being hard on you. That's something I still have to remind myself of!

Libby

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Dhouston,

I totally agree with what everyone else has said; it takes a pitiful excuse for a human being to have to build themselves up at another's expense.....I'm soooo glad that you walked away from all that.....don't need it in your life. I am a firm believer that you will gain alot of compassion from going through your experiences, and you will find a solution to all of this.....it just takes time.

And like Libby said, I too did the dermatologist route for years. They put me on a particular antibiotic until it quit working, then on to another, then another, until my physical health had deteriorated.....and I STILL had acne! Because of that, my doc has a difficult time finding an antibiotic that I haven't become resistant to, which has resulted in some serious illnesses.

Hang in there, things will turn around someday for you wink.gif

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Hey,

dhouston, I am glad you are gone from that job last job, and I hope the people you work with now can learn to shut the hell up. The idiots will get theirs, and for now, I hope you can learn to rise above it.

I bet there are a lot of other things you can do besides office work. What are you really passionate about? I guarantee there are a ton of other things you could be doing, there are other places you could be working, where you would like it even better (and possibly get paid as much, if not more) but you have to actually do the work in finding that niche. I realize office work is not for me (there are aspects of office work I really like - esp. the pay and benefits - but for the most part I'm much better suited to other things). Most people do not belong in offices. There's always a way around it. And personally I have always hated fluorescent lighting. It doesn't feel right to my eyes. Have you ever read "what color is your parachute" or "do what you love, the money will follow?" Those are great books that could help you with a different kind of job in a different setting you like more than your current situation. There's all kinds of things you could do, especially when you use your creativity.

I also agree with Ebby about how you can learn compassion from your experiences. I honestly think that having acne is one of the biggest things that has made me extremely compassionate towards other people. I had to learn humility in a lot of ways (and am still learning it) and boy did acne teach that to me. I guess that is another reason why I look at acne as being sort of a blessing. When you are a compassionate, kind and thougtful person it can make you the kind of person that other people actually want to be around, scarring or not, and THAT is what will put you on the path to success far more than whether or not you have acne scars.

Ebby, girl, I am with you on that whole antibiotic thing. I've thought many times, I hope I don't ever REALLY need antibiotics in the future cause I don't know how they're gonna find one that actually WORKS, my body must be resistant to them all by now!!! I also wonder how much all those antibiotics have screwed up my system in ways I probably don't even want to know about!

Have a good day eusa_angel.gif

Libby

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I have read the parachute book. Pretty good. I am going to find the second book you mentioned "do what you love, the money will follow" on amazon and check it out. Thanks for the advice. and help. It's nice to have someone to share thoughts about this stuff. Kind of theraputic.

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Hey all,

First, Libby, thank you for that wonderful post that started this thread. I never thought I'd hear someone say that - that scarring is beautiful. I suppose, in a way, because it's not the norm, some people would find it interesting to look at...I can't imagine how, seeing that most times when I look in the mirror I shudder. But it made me stop and think. eusa_think.gif

Also, re: diet and hormines relating to acne. When I was reading how every derm told you it had nothing to do with diet - Jesus, it was that whole sese of deja vu, though I'm sure everyone here has heard it. For about 10 years my derm made god knows how much money off my parents and me, putting me onto roaccutane 3 times, twice having me stop becasue it was damaging my liver, on antibiotics for about 2 years so that eventually the bugs that cause the acne became resistant. A friend of mine with acne went to a derm who told her that if she went on a low GI diet that would really clear up alot of the acne. I mentioned this to my derm, oh, and immediately he shot it down in flames. So I went to my friend's derm, he put me on the diet (also with a few vitamin supplements - for me it's Nicotinamide or B3 and also zinc at the start) and hey presto - no more acne. I cleared up in about 2 months. I still get the occasional cyst when I eat nothing but crap for a few days straight (I'm bad that way. No willpower), but I've been clear for months now. And I wish, I so so wish, that someone had identified this concept and made the link between diet and acne 10 years ago so I wouldn't have all this scarring. I'm actually quite mellow about my scarring these days - I mean, I hate them but I don't sit there thinking about them 24/7 like I used to - but sometimes it makes me seethe when I remember that all these bloody idiot specialists are still believing in that one ridiculous study where feeding chocolate to people had no disernable effect on acne. Speaking as a scientist myself (albeit not a doctor), this lack of scientific rigour really irks me.

dhouston - I can't believe what you've experienced. It's so damn low. I hope that guy who was in the stall next to you gets what's coming to him. It just goes to show, doesn't it, that some people will latch onto anything to criticise if they have something against them. Like everyone else has said, rise above it. These people aren't worth the dirt on the soles of your shoes. Funny, you know. The only person who has ever said anything about my scarring apart from a doctor was my grandmother (whom incidentally I've never really liked), who came up to me one day and asked "Darling, what's these marks on your face?" Like she didn't bloody know, since her sons both had them rolleyes.gif

Finally, I just want to say it's great that I found this forum. For so long I wanted to talk to people who've gone through the same pain and have them understand. Thank you all. smile.gif

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Junk

You're grandmother actually went up to you and asked that. You would think at her age she would know what they are from.

I've got an interesting story of how rude people can be.

A few years ago I went to a dermatologist to ask if I was a condidate for laser surgery. Anyway her secretary phoned me one day and said yes I could have laser surgery but it would be best to wait until the fall, (and this is how she termed it) "to fix those gouges in my face" I could not believe she said that. And this from a doctors office. SHe's lucky she didn't say that too my face or I would have given her more than gouges in her face. Needless to say I never went ahead with any procedures at that office. Sometimes people can be incredibly insensitive.

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Libby:

Yeah, I think a post on diet would be a damn good idea. It seems so obvious to me now, but I suppose people might have a hard time believing it, considering that "experts" are supposed to know the best. I'm actually really grateful i found this derm I see now - instead of plying me with more drugs he really did some lateral thinking, which is rare for specialists.

Oh, and sorry about the name. I kind like it cool.gif

dhouston:

My grandmother never really liked me much. I think she likes to see me squirm, even now.

Jesus man, you're the definition of understatement. "Some people can be extremely insensitive." Bloody hell. I'll say she was lucky you weren't there in front of her when she said it.

I just don't understand some people sad.gif

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Oh yeah...

And I did a post about the topic of diet (in the diet section). Who knows if people will listen but it's always worth a shot. I just wish someone had told us when we were younger!

Thanks again,

Libby

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