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I really think that this is it for me. The last few days, I actually started giving my face a good hard look and it is amazing how bad I look. The middle of my forehead is so littered with little scars, there is not 1 mm of unscarred skin. I have blotchy spots and brown marks that look like sun damage. You can see veins underneath my eyes.....the areas around my nose are littered with little scars which look like enlarged pores but are worse......

I simply can't take it anymore. I have begged my family for awhile to seek help for me because I don't even live a normal life anymore. All I do is sit inside and watch TV and hope for the day when some combination of chemical peels/lasers/microdermabrasions will lead to happiness again, but it is futile. When I try to seek a job, I am rebuffed and this really doesn't bother me since working scares me since I have to go out in public. I often wish that I were dead, but don't have the willpower to kill myself.

My acne was always rather frequent by the time I was 16, but I made so many mistakes that have led to my current predicament. I picked on my pimples that led to scars. I used a BP face wash as an overnight lotion and ended up with some cysts which would not go away and left scars when they did. I used Retin-A and went out into the sun without sunscreen and used a harsh soap at the same time.....

I always think of these mistakes and hate myself for them. Now I'm left with this shambles of a life with little hope except for a miracle that maybe somebody will feel sorry for me and fix my face. I wish I could do life over and have good skin and actually not hate every moment of my existence.

I can't help myself, so I need somebody to help me. That much I can do. I don't know if and when I'll ever be back or if and when my life will ever be that which I could want it to be. I just hope that God has mercy on my soul for wasting this life and that he rewards me for the suffering of this life.

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Good luck with everything, Yes life is tough to say the LEAST with facial disfigurment in such a superficial world. I truly hope things go well for you.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?? out of curiosty

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atleast try the new things out

Subcision

Nlite/Smoothbeam

then see how it goes from their

then wait for isloagen

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How sick are your family?? If they really loved u they would see ur in pain and help u in everyway they can. Maybe what u need to do is hurt one of your family members if they don't help u with money and support!

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BBqlover... i used to get really pissed off about my scars until I realised there are people who live with far worse things than acne scars, like people who have been completely disfigured through an accident and don`t even look human.

These people don`t think about killing themselves because they are happy to be alive. Your life is what you make of it... you choose to sit in front of the TV and get all down on yourself; my advice is to get out there and do what you want to do or you WILL look back and think what a waste.

Employers don`t reject you because of your skin, if they think you can do the job they will employ you. You are probably giving off so many negative signals thats why you don`t get hired.

Another thing, men are supposed to look roughish , you aren`t planning on entering a beauty contest are you? Find something to take your mind off of your skin .... suck it up, you have bad skin, so do millions of other people.

To anyone reading this, yes i am aware of the irony of someone who clearly obsesses about their skin telling someone else not to;

Don`t let this beat you friend ...

One more thing, none of this is your fault, i took accutane and got loads of scars from that, i never had any before... YOu weren`t to know any better when you took all them things or did what you did, you aren`t a dermatologist. So don`t blame yourself... if you do blame yourself it will eat you up and you will end up bitter and twisted .. let it go! it ain`t your fault .. its just a bad pahse you are going through, your skin WILL get better, some scars disappear as time goes by, others you will need help for .. just believe

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I thought you had gone to a new derm and was getting a new program of treatment?

Have you tried the vinegar/lemon method? I'm using it and it has definetly improved the condition of my skin - I'm afraid to think that its too good to be true, or a placebo effect, so I was reluctant to post - but after reading this I feel I gotta do something to at least offer you the slightest bit of hope.

Hang in there friend.

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BBQlover,

I hope you feel better eventually and get the help you need. The depression can be crushing I know... But I think it is great you are trying to get help... I wish I had something really encouraging or profound to say but I can't think of anything so I'll just give you a cyber hug ((((BBQlover)))))

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BBQ Lover,

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. I went from being quite attractive to really messed up after laser, etc. As a result of procedures and other things, I developed a full blown case of body dysmorphic dysfunction (BDD)--I always had the propensity for this even when there was nothing wrong with me physically. It is a real illness and it can be devastating. Believe me, I have been living with it for several years. I am just coming out of a very low point--about 8 months long--in which I could do absolutely nothing. Fortunately, I have a great mother, who helped me throught the roughest and a husband who understands me as much as someone who doesn't have it can. I urge you to seek out counseling and medication if appropriate. Feeling better doesn't happen overnight, but you can and will if you have the right support. You may want to search the psychiatric term above on the web for more info. Don't lose hope. I have before...It's a hard road, but it is possible to recover..I understand your pain.

Deborah

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