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So my question is...how do you start and maintain good relationships if you have acne? I know acne is not the end of the world and all, but how do you even motivate yourself enough to look for a boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place. I am 24 and have had acne for 14 long ass years. I had boyfriends here and there growing up but now that I'm super self concious about my skin..I won't even date. Haven't even been on a "real" date in probably 2 years or so...haven't had sexual intercourse in 3 years(can't believe I have lasted that long lol)For those of you that are in serious relationships, did you meet that person while you had bad acne? How long have you been with them? Are they supportive of you and your skin problems? Please share!! smile.gif

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Hi tscorpio24! I'm a 24 year old girl...um, woman, and I live in East Point! Anyway, to answer your question, I have acne, I'm on accutane now, and I have a boyfriend. We've been together on and off for three or four years, and he's very supportive of me. We just got back together a few months ago, and it was the first time he saw me with acne, and he did not care at all. He encouraged me to persevere to get a script for accutane.

He's been on accutane also, as he used to get huge cysts on his face. Mind you, he got them one at a time, but they were the size of golf balls. I wasn't bothered by that either, though. I guess we've been through a lot together, so appearance isn't the most important thing for us.

It may be difficult to start a relationship if you have low self esteem because of your complexion, but there are really good people out there who can see how pretty you are no matter what. There are guys who care more about who you are than what you look like. I've had bad skin since I was twelve and this is my second round of accutane, so I completely understand. Just be confident and you'll find someone who loves you for who you are, and see past minor physical imperfections.

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hI GIRLS

Yeh I feel your stories. Your lucky that you got a bf in the same boat and understand you. I was actually dating a girl when I started getting the acne. Slowly slowly I stopped seeing her because of the acne. I wouldnt say its fully responsible, but i stopped seeing her as much cos i didnt want her to see me with acne. No way. I think all girls hate acne, guys with acne i mean. i got lookde at once on the way to a lesson by these girls and they said something about my acne, dont think its been the same since then. dont bother looking for a g f . i need to love myself beforei can love anyone else. god i hate acne. take care girls xxxxxxxxxxxxxx wub.gif

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Hi tscorpio24!  I'm a 24 year old girl...um, woman, and I live in East Point!  Anyway, to answer your question, I have acne, I'm on accutane now, and I have a boyfriend.  We've been together on and off for three or four years, and he's very supportive of me.  We just got back together a few months ago, and it was the first time he saw me with acne, and he did not care at all.  He encouraged me to persevere to get a script for accutane.

   He's been on accutane also, as he used to get huge cysts on his face.  Mind you, he got them one at a time, but they were the size of golf balls.  I wasn't bothered by that either, though.  I guess we've been through a lot together, so appearance isn't the most important thing for us.

   It may be difficult to start a relationship if you have low self esteem because of your complexion, but there are really good people out there who can see how pretty you are no matter what.  There are guys who care more about who you are than what you look like.  I've had bad skin since I was twelve and this is my second round of accutane, so I completely understand.  Just be confident and you'll find someone who loves you for who you are, and see past minor physical imperfections.

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hI GIRLS

Yeh I feel your stories. Your lucky that you got a bf in the same boat and understand you. I was actually dating a girl when I started getting the acne. Slowly slowly I stopped seeing her because of the acne. I wouldnt say its fully responsible, but i stopped seeing her as much cos i didnt want her to see me with acne. No way. I think all  girls hate acne, guys with acne i mean. i got lookde at once on the way to a lesson by these girls and they said something about my acne, dont think its been the same since then. dont bother looking for a g f . i need to love myself beforei can love anyone else. god i hate acne. take care girls xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  wub.gif

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After reading your post I would say the main problem for you seems to be a lack of self-esteem. It is difficult to put yourself out there on the dating scene again in fear of rejection which everyone knows hurts. The best advice is the old saying, "Just be yourself." The personality of a well spoken, friendly person will eventually get the attention of anyone.

That being said the first trait anyone bases their opinions on is appearance. A lot of people will say otherwise but it’s a natural reaction, when you see someone walking down the street you'll formulate an opinion on them.

As difficult as it may sound you can always just go the bar and introduce yourself to people.

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I'm a 23 year old guy.

I was in a relationship once my acne started to emerge.

I didn't really mind the acne because I was so "In love" that it didn't matter.

Then when the relationship ended about a year or so later, my acne really started affecting my view about myself.

I haven't been on a date for about 5-6 years now, sex about 3-4 years (sex buddy).

And well I've actually lost hope of finding someone, due to my shyness and well my inability to talk to new people.

I know this experience won't help you, but I guess you should be aware that if you don't get back on track, my current love status could one day be yours.

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Hi i'm a 21 year old female. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. When we first met I have acne and red marks. My acne is not severe but bad enough to make me feel really self conscious. To make it worst when I first met him I got really bad teeth too. My acne is still as bad now but my teeth are straighter with the help of the braces. My bf is really understanding with my acne and he didn't even care at all. In fact, he encourage me not to wear makeup and always tell me how beautiful I am. He treats me very good and I'm suprised because my hott girlfriends don't even get treated as well as me from their boyfriends. i have to say I really lucked out.

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Hi i'm a 21 year old female. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. When we first met I have acne and red marks. My acne is not severe but bad enough to make me feel really self conscious. To make it worst when I first met him I got really bad teeth too. My acne is still as bad now but my teeth are straighter with the help of the braces.  My bf is really understanding with my acne and he didn't even care at all. In fact, he encourage me not to wear makeup and always tell me how beautiful I am. He treats me very good and I'm suprised because my hott girlfriends don't even get treated as well as me from their boyfriends. i have to say I really lucked out.

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I don't have really have a story. I know how hard dating can be first hand with acne. I really don't even look for anybody to date since I am not happy with myself. I know that in my current state that I would not make a good boyfriend. There's no way that I can put someone else's feelings before mine if I'm too psychologically wrapped up into my acne problems. It wouldn't be fair to start something with someone even if I did find them, I would dissapoint them when I didn't want to go out, or hid from the world. I won't even attempt romance until I'm happy with myself.

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I've never had acne affect my relationships with guys. I think it's really a shame that a lot of people get so down on themselves about it that they think no one will want them sad.gif Totally not true! I dunno, I never had guys say anything, and even now, my body acne was pretty much gone from the Pill but I went off it, so my current boyfriend has seen my acne get worse and worse....I was feeling self concious about it, and eventually we had a conversation about it cause I was feeling bad, and he said he's totally fine with it and doesn't care at all biggrin.gif I'm telling you guys, you care more then other people do. I've also dated/hooked up with guys who had acne, and whatever, it didn't affect anything or make me not want to be with them.

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So my question is...how do you start and maintain good relationships if you have acne? I know acne is not the end of the world and all, but how do you even motivate yourself enough to look for a boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place. I am 24 and have had acne for 14 long ass years. I had boyfriends here and there growing up but now that I'm super self concious about my skin..I won't even date. Haven't even been on a "real" date in probably 2 years or so...haven't had sexual intercourse in 3 years(can't believe I have lasted that long lol)For those of you that are in serious relationships, did you meet that person while you had bad acne? How long have you been with them? Are they supportive of you and your skin problems? Please share!! smile.gif

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I have been with my boyfriend/fiance for about 2 1/2 years.

It doesn't bother him, but it bothers me sometimes, and affects my confidence to an extent. Sometimes when my skin is more oily or irritated/painful, I don't want him to kiss my face and am generally not in the mood to be close, because I feel irritated myself, and don't like how I look. This is such a shame, and I feel bad that I let it control me sometimes, but it affects how I feel.

One thing I will never forget was when I was younger and was going out with my first boyfriend. I had acne then, but looking back, it was still in the beginning stages. There was a day I was over at a friend's house, who lives right behind mine, and my brother called and told me to come home because my boyfriend had come to see me and had something for me. Well, I was so affected by my skin or appearance (I don't remember if it was because of the acne, something strange on my face to cover it, no make-up or just feeling like a mess) that I couldn't go. My brother kept insisting, and I just wouldn't, and felt really bad.

He had brought me flowers by bike, and I always regretted not having been able to accept them from him directly... It was such a special thing at the time...

When you experience first love, you absorb so much and I'm sorry I missed that event and memory.

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Well, my boyfriend gets sick when I complain about skin. I feel so bad sometimes cause' he really doesn't care about my acne. I think I'm the one who brings it up all the time. I better stop doing that.

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Acne has completly destroyed my relationship, no matter how strong the feeling i had for the girl the acne allways over powers my mind and makes me feel like i dont deserve to be see'ing her and that she'll think im awfull. I dont feel im a good looking person i think mainly because my self confidence is at a LOW point. I think to myself some times that if i didnt have acne i could be with the girl i love and not be messing about trying 2 hide away while i find a cure. I can honestly say , acne is the worst thing ive had to deal with in my life. In terms of emotional takeover and the say it sucks u from social life, this may not be what happens to everyone but it happens to me. I long for the day i can hear a acne advert on TV and not feel empty inside. Im hoping now that accutane can give me my self confidence back and get me back to the good old days tongue.gif if it doesnt work, to be honest i dont know where to go next, probarbly need 2 talk to some one about not letting it effect me as much.

Strange thing is........... my acne isnt bad its fairly mild and yet it puts me down like my face has turned into something terrible.

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Its much easier for girls with acne to find guys, then guys with acne to find girls.

Im willing to bet however, the guys that do date Girls with acne have a close to 100%, are sexualy active.

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Guest Craigems

I think if your boyfriend / girlfriend has had an acne problem i think its easier for you! I mean they understand what your going through... like i'm seeing a girl who has a little bit of mild acne, and she hates it but i can sympathise because i had it 100x worse but i'm on tane and almost finished my long 12month haul on it... ANYWAYS i'm 100% clear but i have lotsa scarring, but i see past acne now i think its just a load of BS when people think mild acne makes u look hideous, i think if a person see's you who you are then that what u want in life.

I know this now AFTER acne.... sad.gif anyways keep perserveering, you'll get your soul mate in no time at all.

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Guest TylerD

Yes i agree with everything. I have dated alot of girls. And some have had acne but it just doesnt bother me. And i really just dont notice it much. I mean its there but its just like who cares. Its almost like someone having blue eyes instead of brown. To me its just no big deal. Its something there that they cant control and you know they are trying too. Thats why i dont like that quote love at first site. Because that is totally based on apperance. IMO i think you have to get to know someone and find out what they're like, what their hobbies are, what you guys have in common etc... that is what builds a relationship. Looks is very bottom of the barrel for me.

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Wow! This topic is right up my alley. I have had acne for 10 years, Im now 25. I had cystic acne from 95 til 98. I knew I had it, but it never really bothered me because girls were still trying to holla. eusa_dance.gif I had a girlfriend at the time who would do anything for me, and Id do the same for her. My senior year in high school, 1998, my parents sent me to a derm and he put me on accutane. Upon graduating, my tane cycle had ended and for once my face was remarkable! Like the immature dummy I was then, my head BLEW THE FUCC UP because I was attractive again(in my mind), and I broke up with my girlfriend before going away to college(I kick myself in the ass all the time for doing that). So from then on until 2000, my face remained clear. But almost instantaneously, once 2001 hit, my face went back to its old ways and the acne was back. sad.gif Prior to that, I had gotten into another relationship while in college. Everything was beautiful (relationship wise) until my acne came back. I stopped going out with her(stopped going out period), when she came over, I would always grab her and snuggle real close with her head on my chest, that way she couldnt focus on my face. Or if she looked at me, I would continuously and habitually drape my arm over my forehead and'or face, hoping to disguise some of my acne. To make matters worse, I went to the Marines and was stationed 7 hours away. Long distant relationships cannot work! When I would come home, she would always say things like, "when we get home we should do facials", I was like "Do what?". Comments like that made me more and more self-consious, to the point I was buying coverup products(makeup). eusa_shhh.gif She'll never admit to it, but I cant help but think she became more and more unattracted to me physically(well, besides in the bed.... I PUT IT DOWN!), but she eventually started talking to another guy while I was away and told me we shouldnt be together anymore...on Valentines Day, the day before my birthday! evil.gif I eventually got over it and had to move on.

Just recently, a couple of months ago, I started a new Security job. My first week there, I noticed this little hottie that worked in my building. Out of know where, I grew some balls and asked a female friend of mine who worked with the girl to put in a good word about me. She did. That same day, the girl walked up to me, and asked me to take my security hat off, I was reluctant at first, but I did. Suprisingly she just nodded her head and said "okay." Not the reaction I expected. I figured she must be interested in me, because she kept walking pat me for no reason. That night after my shift was over, I asked her for her phone number, she gave it to me. This girl was beautiful! I mean, she was one of those girls I would consider "out of my league", but for some reason, she had interest in me? WTF? Well, we kicked it for a while and things were starting to get serious, and wouldnt you know it...my acne started showing its ugly face and I felt myself doing just as I did with my last girlfriend... I retracted and become extremely self-consious once again. She would call and ask to come over and I would tell her I was busy or going out...but I just didnt want her to see me. Especially since my face was sort of clear when we first met, and now it is hideous! I started using Proactiv. She came over and noticed the bottles and to my suprise, she asked could she use some of my Proactiv. I wondered what for, because she had flawless skin. Come to find out, she was a former acne sufferer all throughout highschool and she explained that she had the lowest self -confidence due to her skin in high school, and that she hadnt had any real relationships where the guy would truly care about her. She said I was the closest shed ever came to experiencing that. wub.gif Any normal guy would have felt relieved. But I still could nt help it, I hated the way I looked and didnt feel like I was worthy of having a girl as good as her. Eventually things didnt work out. And here I am now. I want to call her, but like someone said in this post, I dont want to call her when Im not comfortable with myself yet. I do miss her though. Im 25. LOL This has to stop foreal. I think what bothers me the most is the fact that my whole life, I've been this adorable kid, and would always get told, you're gonna be a heart throb when you get older...this and that. But such is not the case. Pics of me then and pics of me now hardly even resemble each other. I dont know what else to do...I do know that my sociallife is practically non-existant. Ah well, I'll get it together.

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