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hey guys...i know people have started threads about this before but i need to vent a little bit...i made the mistake of glancing in the bathroom mirror at my school while I was washing my hands and oh my god did I look totally disgusting eusa_sick.gif My skin looked sooooo terrible..Although I don't have very much active acne right now my scars are still extremely visible, even under a pile of make-up...Looking at myself under florescent lighting, I feel like I'm looking at a monster...you can see everything including my huge pores and the disgusting rough, bumpy texture of my skin hidden under a very obvious layer of make-up...I can't even begin to describe that torcherous, sick feeling that hits me right in the stomach everytime I look up and see my face under certain lighting...I don't know why I did it today, usually I just keep my head down and don't look up in the mirror..Maybe somewhere deep inside I'm hoping I'll look up and be pleasantly surprised --that my skin will actually look decent and seem to be getting better...But it never does and reality just bitch slaps me right in the face everytime I catch a glimpse of my self in bad lighting...Under softer lighting, my skin doesn't look that bad...but I think its the same for everyone...You can look in a mirror inside your house and think "My face actually looks ok"...but then you step out into sunlight or under bright florescent lights and you are amazed at what you see shock.gif Sorry if this is a long or boring post..I was just really sad today and feel like no one understands how I feel...People with clear skin don't have to worry about lighting..They look good no matter what mirror they look in... I wish the day would come when I could look at myself under bright lights and not be ashamed of what I see cry.gif

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I hate flourescent lighting! Sucks that they are in virtually every classroom I've ever been in. Same with natural lighting. I don't look in mirrors when I'm outside anymore, it makes me want to hurl.

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Aw don't be so hard on yourself. Anybody under florescent lighting (at a specific angle and up close) will show many imperfections on the face.

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