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swim

swim in 'tane journal~~^O^

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Day 1

finally get started with 'tane on 25 May 2005~~ i've just taken my very first pill~~~ my derm put me on a 6-month course, 40mg daily, 20mg in morning, 20mg at night~~

before 'tane blood test is ok~~ being given 7-day 'tane + antibiotics (EES)+ emulsifying ointment B.P. for nourishing dry lips~~~

will get back to my derm next week, take the 2nd blood test and another 3-week 'tane~~

i know i shall keep myself in good mood~~ believe in my derm and myself~~~

cheer up!!!!!

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Well thanks for your reply to my post Swim, and I wish you the best of luck on your course. I know that anybody who starts the medication, feels that the risks are worth the outcome and results. What sucks is when people say "Your face isn't that bad" or "you don't need this kind of medication." It is easy for most to say this because they don't have to deal with the stress and the low self confidence that comes along with it. Acne is just as much a psycological disorder as a physical disorder, and the psychological aspect is many times overlooked by others.

I am also glad to know that somebody is also worried as much about the initial breakout as I am, and the chapped lips. Like I said, best of luck to you on your adventure with Accutane, and I look forward to hearing from you again. Thanks

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Best of luck to u Swim!!

just an advice , dont let ur skin get too dry (like i did) , start moisturizing from day 1, even if u see that ur skin looks shine or feels oily.

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Jeffery & Dnc, thanks so much for your replies!!! biggrin.gif

Day 2 & 3

caught a cold & visited a dr yesterday, now i'm taking many drugs, on top of 'tane wacko.gif

felt very tired last night, couldn't distiguish whether it's attributed to 'tane??? i could sleep at the doorway of my home!!!!!

after a 10-hr sleep, i got up early this morning and found myself refreshing~~

keep going!!!!!

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Hi Swim! I've been tired too! Must be the accutane....? Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed in the morning......Anyway, good luck!

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gamarwil, thanks!!!

week 1

wow~~ a week has passed~~ always dry lips (vaseline works!!), sometimes fatigue~~

just visited my derm this morning, what he said touches me~~ "Believe me, your skin will be healthy and beautiful." I nodded my head and gave him a smile. I recalled my first visit to his clinic, i couldn't help crying in his office........ I was weak, hopeless, strengthless......during the past few months.......

i know i must confide in my derm, believe him~~

we shall stay positive to win the battle biggrin.gif

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Day 13

i'm really tired of putting concealer on my face, i don't wanna do this anymore......................when will all these end?? i hate those red marks................

feeling helpless today.............. eusa_wall.gif

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Hey, Swim, I'm on day 15 of accutane. I feel the same way you do today. I try so hard to stay positive, but it doesn't always work. I don't even bother with concealer anymore because it doesn't look any better anyway. Hang in there. We'll both get through it somehow...we don't have any other choice, right??

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Keep in there Swim. I too am about to take the road to accutane (this Thursday to be exact) so I'm really rooting for everyone that is currently on the miracle drug. You can do it!

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ONE-month!!!!

i've been on 'tane for an entire month!!! & i must say this miracle drug delivers its promise~~~ eusa_angel.gif ~~~in my case, it completely stops serious & big ones~~~ now, 2 active zits, one at the right cheek, another at the upper left side of the forehead (near the hairline)~~chin & right cheek cleared~~~(the clear chin means so much to me coz my first pimple strats there~~~)

ofcoz red marks left behind previous zits~~but you know, on thur, i braved myself not to wear any concerler and go out!!!!!! it's the very first time i didn't wear anything to cover up the flaws on my face for the past 4 yrs ninja.gif ~~~i feel much much more relieved~~~ it is the real me!!!!! redface.gif

my little advice is always be GENTLE to your face, be it washing or putting on cream/paste~~~ try you best NOT to pick the zit, i know, i know, it's very hard, my policy now is wait & wait & wait, until it becomes ripe or the whitehead pops up on the surface~~then i'll get it done~~~

5 more months ahead!!!! gogogo!!!!~~~ biggrin.gif

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thanks for your replies, MeganP & LV Boy~~hope you are getting results from 'tane!!!best of luck!!! eusa_angel.gif

yes, it's not easy to stay positive, but we have to~~~ i suffer ups & downs in the course of fighting acne, which i believe everyone here does~~ but we shall have faith we'll get full recovery & get back our lives!!!

recently, some kind of fear develops everynight before i sleep, i'm anxious that the next morning when i get up, the nightmare will come back & all the improvements on track will be gone~~~i know it's all my imagination but the horrible pictures are so vivid that i couldn't bear!!! i duuno from whom i can seek help~~ right now, i counter this emotion by thinking about the opposite situation, i imagine myself to be completely cleared~~~ it does work to some extent, but i still wanna seek help from some books or therapies~~~ eusa_doh.gif

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hey swim..

hang in there I know what u are going through about the makeup thing, it's like a comfort blanket but once u take it off u feel free. And plus your skin will breathe. I always used to wear makeup even when my skin was clear, now i long for my skin to look like it did when i had no need to cover up.. But hang in ...we are all with u ..take care n God bless wink.gif

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Hey I just skimmed through your entries and I have to say that I found the same; I very nearly started crying on my derm but I went private so he was a bit posh and I felt really silly - like you I had suffered for (8) years and the psychological effects of acne are more scarring than the actual spots as you always remember people pitying you and trying not to comment. Im only on day 6 but I'm keeping a journal to keep track of my progress and side effects coz Im really worried about depression and hair loss.

I havent really noticed any change yet apart from burning skin, hot flushes and dry lips - should there be improvement by day 6 do you think?

I cant wait to be free from the stress and anxiety acne has caused me - my boyfriend isnt bothered about it but I go to university next year and I am lacking in confidence.

Do you have any suggestions about how to make the "journey less bumpy" because I really want this to work.

Hope your treatment goes well!

eusa_pray.gif

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now i long for my skin to look like it did when i had no need to cover up

defeat_acne00, that's exactly how i feel about the concealer thing~~~thanks so much for your warm support!!! eusa_angel.gif

Day 48

thank god it's basically clear, red marks fading , one active zit at the far left side (near hairline)~~~ dry & peeled lips (desipte the fact that i've to nourish it with vaseline every half-hr, i take the dryness as a very positive sign showing 'tane is working!!!!)~~~ i do not put any make up on (except last fri's presentation day~~only a little bit of oil-free concealer:P )~~

for every acne-fighter out there, be strong in your heart, we all suffered too much, sacrificied too much............acne is much much much bigger than a facial appearance thing, it's an entire mind-body matter~~~ it hurts our lives.......... you know what, don't ever think that you're alone, we're all here to support one another!!!! be brave!!!!!

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Day 83

just visited my derm, he said my progress goes well & i'm continuing my 'tane voyage~~~

Old Zit, it helps lighten the red marks as the "wounds" recover at a faster rate~~~ but not in an overnight disappearing way~~

rosie13688, thanks so much eusa_angel.gif & hope you'll reach the "total clear" stage asap~~~!!! you know what, i'm still confronting those anxiety & stress things~~~ sometimes, i wonder if i am a perfectionist??? the fact that i demand everything to be perfect (esp. self-set stardard) hurts myself~~~ i'm now attending yoga lessons for releasing pressure~~~

one de-stress way i've recently discovered is talk to your friends, by doing so you channel those deeply buried feelings away~~~ last couple of days, i hang out with different groups of old buddies, many do not know my acne-battling history as we've not seen each other for 1-2 years~~ they asked why my face's flushed red~ redface.gif ~ i did admit that i'm taking 'tane, but didn't tell the entire experience as i don't wanna go through once again the painful & horrible journey~~~tongue.gif

we did have great time out there~~~ i'm proud of myself, & we should. Passing through so much hurdles, rebuilding our confidence & regaining our social life, no reason why we shouldn't be proud of ourselves!!!!! cheer up, dear!!!! eusa_clap.gif

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Hi Swim! I wondered what happened to ya! I read you're on day 85 or so? As of today I'm on day 88. So, are you totally clear? What dose are you up to now? Sounds like you're doing REALLY well! Congrats!

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Day 120

GOSH!!!! 2 pimples raised on my forehead, one at the upper left side near the hairline, another right at the centre!!! ~~~ the 1st time in a couple of weeks!!!!! shock.gif maybe these should be attributed to PMS effect??? eusa_think.gif

sometimes, i really felt very tired~~~ wacko.gif can i take a break???

i promise myself to keep my hands off my face (stick to this principle, it helps!!!)and minimize my chance of looking into the mirror or any reflecting objects!!!

gamarwil,

just got my fifth month's tane this monday~~~ my derm said that i'll undergo a course of six-month~~~20mgx2 per day~~~ thanks for your words and wish you're enjoying your clear, healthy and radiant face!!!! good luck!!!! biggrin.gif

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Hey Im nearly 3 months in now and have few active spots but many red scars that were never there before so it still actually looks like i have acne argh! Never mind. People have said how much more confident I am now though.

Vanessa wink.gif

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Day 138

visted my derm last fri & collected the last month's 'tane, finally~~~ lots of feelings flushed to my mind~~~

ohoh~~after a consecutive of 2 days soaking under the sun (yesterday hiking & today biking)~~~ouch!!!!! wacko.gif 2 zits adjacent to one another popped up on the left side temple~~~ouch!!!!!! does sun exposure trigger such a direct cause-and-effect relationship there??? eusa_think.gif gosh!!!!! i now try my best to keep my hands off~~ but you know i couldn't help touching (never squeezing!!!!) the "raised" point~~~

hope they will drain away naturally~~~ wink.gif

vanessa,

best of luck!!!! hope all the 'tane mates can have our chin up forever!!!! cheer!!!! biggrin.gif

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Last day (Day 169)

after 6 months on 'tane, i come down to the finishing line today!!!!! :clap:

'tane saves my life, i'm feeling some kind of reborn & marching towards a new phrase of life!!!!!!

should anyone ask me if it's worth it~~~ a definite yes is my answer~~

hope every 'tane mate leads an acne-free life ever after!!!!!!!! :D

best of luck & cheers!!!!

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