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The topic of self-esteem is a really hard one to talk about with people when you are face to face with them because it puts you in such a vulnerable spot, yet posting your feelings is really helpful because its easier to let things out.

Anyways, about self esteem, its tuff to have when people keep pointing out flaws that you have no control over, and it is hard to disreguard when it is something like your face that is being judged...yet despite how much crap i have gotten in the past about my appearance, i still have some self esteem...and it is getting better, though lately i tend to have really scary mood swings and i take it out on people close to me.

i have pushed alot of people away in the past because i felt inferior, like i was just too different and i would make up excuses like they were not smart enough or intelectual enough to talk to. i realize now that i was just not comfortable around them because of my lack of self esteem.

anyone in similar circumstances or with advice on feeling more confident around others?

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People tout the whole "self-esteem" thing as the end-all, be-all of positive things, and I think it's a bit one sided. I think perhaps we feel we have low self esteem when the truth of the matter is that we are just having a hard time.

I always thought (back when I had low self esteem and hated myself) that once I had good self-esteem, I would always be happy and never doubt myself again.

That turned out not to be true. I have good days, bad days, and occasionally, I have days where I'm so sick of myself that I can barely stand to stay in my own skin. But the point isn't that I have poor self-esteem, the point is that sometimes, Life just sucks and it has little do with me. Ups and downs and mood swings are not the only indicator of self-esteem, because Life comes with that all on it's own.

I DO understand pushing people away. In my junkie days, when I was only able to admit I was an addict (but too damn proud to actually DO anything about it), I pushed away alot of people. They would invite me in, and I'd stand at the door, and if they reached for me, I'd dash away like a frightened rabbit. I wanted thier love, but didn't think I was worth it. I always thought I'd ruin it - ruin THEM - somehow.

That also turned out not to be true. Turns out I have less power over other people then I thought - I cannot ruin anyone's life but my own. At first that pissed me off (what, like I'm NOT the center of the world?!), but then it gave me room to attend to owning my own life.

The one piece of advice I have is this: If you want to be honorable (good self esteem/happy/etc), then do honorable things. Easier said than done, but easy.

Easy. Not simple, but easy.

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