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anydaynow

Really need help on this one.

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Ive had mild acne on my face for around 7 years, however after now being on tane for a month and a half my acne has nearly all cleared, i must say i never thought i would see the day but it has infact arrived. However the main reason i started tane was to get rid of my very very bad back acne. I cant believe how bad i really have it, it started about after a year after i noticed spots on my face but just got worse and worse and worse. I tried everything to calm it down but never went to a doctor about it because i had no idea what damage it was going to do. I thought its only on my back it will clear its not like anyone can see it like on my face. I was young and naive and this has lead to still having back acne that has and is scarring. Its the worst thing as a kid to never be able to go swimming or unchange in public, always having to be careful the curtains are shut and the door is locked in fear of someone walking in.

After some time once i realised my acne on my face was quite bad i knew girlfriends were not going to happen. I know everyone says beauty is in the inside and all but it truly felt no girl would ever give me a second look. So this remained my main concern to clear the acne on my face up which finally after seven long hard years it has done. However its not my back that i cant stand, once my face did clear i noticed alot more attenetion from girls becuase i knew i had a nice looking face under the acne it was just never going to be seen untill it had all cleared. Ive gatherd alot more confidence when i go out now, i dont find it hard anymore to talk to girls and this is a truely amazing feeling and one that has now lead me to seeing a girl.

For the first time in seven years a girl is intrested in me and my god im crazy about her they talk about love at first sight and i thought it was all bull but when i saw her that night and she saw me something just clicked and it was clear i wanted to be with her. So im feeling the happiest guy on the planet full of confidence and loved up, i then get home go to take a shower and suddenly reminded of my back acne that still hasnt gone. So now ive finally found the girl of my dreams but i cant be with her due to a problem i didnt have any control over when i was a kid. Its the most hurtful feeling in the world, what do i say when she wants to have sex, shes a very close touchy person and i know soon shes going to want to go the full way.

Im so confused about what to do, i want to be with her so badly but obviously dont want her to find out about my back acne, ive been thinking of stopping things now so that it will never happen. But then i would be giving up the most amazing person ive ever met. Why cant i just be happy now, havent i suffered enough, ive put up with name calling, bullying the fact ive had to look in the mirror at myself every day isnt that enough. Im just so sick with it, seven years thinking about the same thing 24/7 no one realises the true emotional effects of what haveing acne can do. Im not trying to make out like ive got the worst life in the world but sometimes i do find it hard to keep going. Im am very happy that the acne on my face has basically cleared but then thats just one of many problems cause next ive got my back acne and then once thats gone all the scars. Probably sounds stupid but i feel like im getting punished for something ive done, i dont think life was ever intended to be this hard and if it was then i drew the short straw.

Im sorry to go on a rant and alot of what ive said probs sounds very sellfish, i just dont want to wake up anymore with this huge secret i just want to enjoy life and experince all. If anyone has any suggestionsa bout what i should do about my situation with this girl please please say, im really looking for help on this one im just so fed up i cant think. Thanks for reading this very long post i just had to lay all the facts out. (sorry about all the grammar and spelling mistakes)

X

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I can sympathize alot with your feelings. Some people will tell you, "well at least it's not as bad as..." and that may be true, but just because there are some people worse off than you doesn't mean your problems aren't serious and unfair. I can see myself in a similar boat to you, my face is clearing up now (hopefully) but my back and shoulders still have acne issues. My back acne sounds like a more moderate case than yours, but I can still understand your issues of changing in public, swimming, etc. As a guy you are supposed to spend alot of time with your shirt off, especially in warmer climates, it's just socially awkward if you can't.

The effect acne has on your self-image is impossible to understand for those who've never suffered through it. It's easy for others to say, "oh it's not that bad," but they don't have to deal with it day after day for years. No matter who you are, it eventually takes its toll on you.

As far as the girl goes, unfortunately there is no magic bacne cure that I am aware of. The only answer is of course to talk to her about it. In my mind part of the reason dating is tough with acne is that no one wants the stigma of dating someone with acne. Everyone wants to be with someone who is attractive, because it makes them seem more attractive. With bacne this is mostly a non-issue because only you and her will know about it, so she's probably much more likely to accept it and there's a good chance it won't be a big deal. Would she rather you have a clear back, of course, but overall there are worse things than having some bumps on your back and if the relationship is worth something to her than it won't be a big issue.

j

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If I were you I'd forget about the back acne, act like its not there, its only you stressing about it that will get you down. Once you manage to go all the way, she wont be looking at your back during it, and even if she does notice it, do you honestly think shes going to say 'get away from me freak'. no, if shes the girl you say she is, she wont mind it and will most likely just take it with the wind. If shes a materialistic bitch, even then I doubt she will turn you down because of Bacne lol.

It's worth a shot, do you really want to give up the girl of your dreams because she MIGHT not like your back? If you let her go youll be wondering what if for the rest of your days.

Its a no brainer really, seriously, act like its not there and if shes stubborn enough to point it out and be a bitch about it, kick her to the curb.

my 2 cents.

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Hey guys thanks so much for taking the time to write back, its so good to know there are people that i can talk to and know i will get honest decent answers. I will stop stressing about it and just go with it, ive still got about another 5 months on tane so im hoping by the end of it it will be gone. Im just a bit scared and worried what she would think ive taken so many names and abuse from when i had acne on my face that i dont want to feel like i ever did again. I know that if she likes me alot then she should understand, gah i dunno i just wish i didnt even have to worry about things like this i just want to feel normal for once in my life sad.gif

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i've noticed alot of people with otherwise clear skin who have bacne and acne on the back of their arms. it's especially okay for guys. i don't think the girl will mind. she may not even notice. having had acne, you have a much more discerning eye than other people, and you may think others share that. they don't. if she likes you alot, believe me, she won't care.

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im sorry but what exactly is the "tane" ur on ?? what is it ??

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I don't think I'd even tell her about it. Let her find out on her own. Act like it isn't a big deal to you. She may not even care that much about it. If she does I'm sure she'll feel real shallow if she makes a big deal about it.

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