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Hello, once again I am posting something that would not benefit anyone but I HAVE to get this off of my chest somehow..

I had suffered from acne for 2 years (1 year in high school and the other in elementary school). I still have a couple pimple here and there several scars (most of which you wouldn't even be able to see).

Anyways, the most heart-breaking thing that I have experienced was when my "friends" asked me who I thought was the hottest in the class. Obviously, I told them and they went up to the girl and asked if she would go out with me... she said one word.. "Eww". I was so heart broken at that time (but that was when I was suffereing from acne really bad [approx 10-20 pimples on face at a time]).

Now, I'm afraid to ask girls out because of that. I know that my face has improved a whole lot since that time but I dont want to get that hurt feeling that I first had. Do any of you suffer from the same thing?

When I'm walking in the hallways, some girls look at me (in a way that turns me on :P) but I act like I didn't see them because 1/2 of my conscience tells me that they are starring at my horrible face..

Now a whole bunch of people from my grade ask me if I would ever want to have sex and who it would be or if i like anyone; because of that one time, i answer no and NOW IM CALLED GAY!! WTF and I don't know what to do!!!

ARRRRRGHHH LIFE DEFINATELY SUCKS FOR ME!!! I HATE THIS...WHY DO THE JERKS HAVE TO HAVE PERFECT SKIN AND THE PEOPLE THAT DO NOTHING HAVE THE BAD FACE GET PICKED ON...

I seriously do not know where I'm going to get in life...

I probably won't even be able to get married, have kids, AND get a job (since my grades are failing because I'm WAY TOO concentrated and worried about my face than my marks in school)...

Well I'm going to go to sleep. Bye.

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For some reason I just felt compelled to reply after reading your story. I think a main problem many people on this forum have is that they think acceptance by others (because of achieving clear skin) will make them happy and fulfilled. The truth is one can only be fulfilled by having a personal relationship with God and filling the hole in the soul with what it is meant to be filled with--God....not social acceptance, popularity, sex, drugs, money, power, accomplishments, etc. So my advice is to just seek the one important thing in life (God) and not care what other people think. The irony is that more people will like you alot more because you aren't nervous and inhibited and are just being yourself. This definitely worked for me because before I accepted God into my life I was extremely shy and insecure but afterwards I realized my worth in life wasn't based on my physical appearance but on God's love for me and I became infinitely more popular and accepted because I didn't worry about it. Plus now I have a hot girlfriend (still not sure how I pulled that one off..heh..)...So care about what's important and don't worry about what's not and you'll be all right....

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somuch, i know what you mean. i am going through exactly as you are. i have never had a girlfriend because i have always been to shy. Not just because of acne but because the teasing that i have been through during elementary school and junior high. i am not considered a nerd or anything, i am actually quite good looking( not trying to brag :P ). But the problem is because i do not talk a whole lot because i was always too concious on what others thought of me. Whether they would laugh at me or I would make a fool out of myself. I am still trying to pull myself out of it. But the major thing in highschool was of course acne. i had some major cystic acne breakouts before i started with my treatments, but even those early treatments were pathetic because i didnt know how acne was caused. i was always afraid that if i ever did get a girlfriend i would be really embarrased because of my breakouts. Now in the end of my senior year i have finally stumbled across dan's site and regimen. I now have mabye a few small pimples here and there but not noticable. And my complection is great now. Although i still am shy, i am alot more open now. "Free at last, Free at last thank god i am free at last" lol.

Just be confident, i know it will be hard but i know you can do it. If you get turned on by the looks the girls are giving you, thats a sure sign that they like you. Just smile back. I bet you they will smile or say hi to you.

Hang in there and check out maybe some medication for your shyness like zoloft. i am thinking about taking it myself. Hang in there man :(

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If you get turned on by the looks the girls are giving you, thats a sure sign that they like you. Just smile back. I bet you they will smile or say hi to you.

Hang in there and check out maybe some medication for your shyness like zoloft. i am thinking about taking it myself. Hang in there man :D

I just wanted to say that some girls look at me but the only reason that it turns me on is because of the fact that I'm shy around girls and some actually make eye contact :P They don't look in a funny, horny, sexy way or anything :( [wish they did though].

And some of the girls that I'm interested in look at me for a second and then look away when I look at them.. should I actually start a conversation and become friends with this person or do you think that they are starring at my pimples?

Oh and one more thing..What is zoloft..? I have never heard of this. If it's to make to..not shy.. I'm assuming it's some kind of activity.

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Believe me, somuchsolittle, I know how you feel.

Whenever people look at me , I think they're looking at my shiny face or obvious, caked on makeup or ACNE MARKS. Or, all three.

When I talk to people, I tend to avoid looking them in the eye. If anyone makes a comment about my apperence, I blush. Guys don't ask me out, or say I'm pretty or hot (even though I know that I'm beautiful :wink: )

Sorry for the rambling, but the point is, there's nothing we can do, except get out of the corner we're hiding in.

Best wishes,

caline

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I'm sorry you're feeling so down about everything. I do completely understand, and there's really nothing anyone else can say to make you "snap out of it." It will come unexpectedly one day, whether you have clear skin or not, that you realize it's all about your personality. If you act like people won't like you before you meet them, then they'll back off from hanging out with you because you're acting uncomfortable. I agree with Brazord... You might try getting involved in youth group at a local church??? Anyway, smile, keep your head up, and know that you're a wonderful person because God created you. God don't make no junk. Now go act like it! :wink:

And hey, talk to girls. Half the time they sit at home wondering why great guys like YOU won't talk to them, and it's only the jerky ones who will. And what's the worse that could happen if you ask a girl out and she says no? You won't have a date with her on Friday. So? You didn't have a date with her anyway!!! And the more you talk to girls, the more comfortable you will become and the more confident you will feel.

PS Zoloft (I'm pretty sure) is a prescription drug for depression. Don't know that it's appropriate since you're just shy.

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be happy! :P

well... maybe not.

believe me, i can understand exactly how you're feeling.

some days, i feel like i'm the ugliest person in the world, but others i feel really pretty and like my acne is nonexistent (it's not!!)

a year ago, i just moved to a new place and i was sooooo depressed - i was miserable all the time. my first weeks in my new school i was going through a horrible breakout, and i thought everyone was staring at me because of it.

they weren't.

they were staring at me cuz i was the new girl!!!

you would not ~believe~ how long it took me to realize that.

so maybe there's some other reason people seem to be staring at you.

maybe they like your hair, or your shirt, or something. :(

um...from your description of the girls?? being a girl myself, i'm thinking some of them are staring at you cuz they like you.

i could be wrong, but that's how it sounds to me.

there's a guy at my school right now who i've noticed staring at me for the past few weeks...i don't know if he likes me or what, but the thought never really occured to me until now that maybe he was staring at me because i have acne. and i still don't believe it.

i don't know what i'm trying to tell you, exactly...just...

if you're happy, and you smile a lot, and you act like you aren't worried about your acne, then i bet a lot more people would stare at you because they want to know what's making you smile.

people want to be around other people who're happy, not sad.

but don't worry. i feel shy a lot too! :?

-mnsdg

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here's some advice. when you approach a girl don't be scared. we won't bite (well some of us do but that's like on the third date or so). if you act afraid and nervous she and all of her friends are going to talk about you. that's a given. but if you come up to her strong and confident you'll kind of knock her off her feet. every guy...doesn't matter how cool they are, how buff they are, how good of an athlete they are, or how good there skin is are nervous when asking a girl out. but the ones who get the girls are the ones that put their confidence mask on. as for the people who call you gay just stay away from them. don't let them get to you. you're still in HS right?? if so then college isn't to far away. just move off and reinvent your self. it's as simple as that. oh yeah the zoloft. it won't make you less shy. it will make you feel like nothing is real. don't get on a script for shyness. it's something that YOU and YOU alone have to fix. good luck and we love you!!

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My hopes and confidence to get on with my life and do better in school and etc after lsitening to your replies and how there are people that think about me and care for me... until I recently had a conflict with my parent...my parents and my brother all hate me now :P We had a disagreement and my whole family turned on me..and out of nowhere said, "OMG, why does that kid think he's blessed, all he has is acne and a horrible face complexion. He's stupid and hes just a dirty bastard." my brother and my parents all said that and I feel hopeless once again. it dont feel as bad when other people make fun of me but this is the first time that my family has said something liek this and they know that I hate it when they talk about my face and they PURPOSESLY said it..

Right now I wish I had no emotions.. So when I feel sad, I won't show tears, when I'm angry Ill be able to control it and hold it in, when im happy since i will never know that feeling and wont ever get heartbroken, ... bye i dont know what else to say..

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yeah, parents blow. since i can remember i've been told i was worthless never going to amount to anything. i was told i was a monster and that everyone i came into contact with i was going to ruin there lives. just don't listen. i know, easier said than done. they don't hate you. maybe they aren't as opened minded as you. narrow minded people seem to get intimidated by brillance. i don't mean to be nosey but what was the argument about?? if you don't want to tell us it's ok. just know that you have lots of shoulders here.

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i agree; sometimes parents truly suck. for toenail:

i don't understand why ur parents would call u those things.

they don't even sound like they should be parents;

i mean, no one deserves to be called that. hope that

doesn't offend u. but for somuchsolittle- r u in 9/10th grade?

i am too; actually, i'd be in 10th grade if i were still in school

but i'm not. i didn't quit cos of my acne or anything but i

remember how girls treated guys w/ acne at school. some r actually attracted to dudes w/ acne & some couldn't care less. i knew this one guy who had very bad acne on his face complete w/ scars but he was still considered very good-looking & popular w/ the ladies. he was always confident & i know for a fact that he was always talking about girls & had no problems asking them out. not every guy w/ acne is like that but always thinking about the problem makes it worse than it really is. a lot of the popular girls probably wouldn't be caught dead w/ someone w/ acne just because they think they will lose their popularity; i actually knew a few who really liked someone w/ acne but didn't want to be considered a dork by going out w/ them. my best friend was a

bi- guy w/ pretty severe acne on his face & i think on his body too

but he was so much fun to be around. i never even noticed his acne & i can only remember a few guys who even had acne at school but

all theirs was the cystic kind & if u have anything less,

chances r it won't be noticed nearly as much as u think, if at all. plus, don't mind what people say cos everyone is insecure about themselves no matter how well they may hide it & their feelings r just as easily hurt

as anyone else's. everyone thinks they're being judged by their peers & i think it might draw attention to ur acne if you're really shy & don't want to participate in stuff. if you get dissed, just forget it cos it really doesn't matter at all. sorry for writing so much; i guess i got carried away.

good luck tho :P

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Yeah, your family sounds like a bunch of righteous dickwads.

I gained alot of "acne experience" from middle/high school. I learned how to manipulate things to my advantage despite my horrendous acne that ruined my self esteem. There is one thing that never failed to work for me. Find something you excel at, become the best at it, then display it to your school in some way or form. If you are at the center of attention, girls want to be around you.

For example, I was not the class clown, but I had (and still have) the sharpest wit. In any class I could turn anything, a lecture/a students comment/behaviourisms into something hilarious. Half way through semesters people would be looking back at me wondering what I was going to say next, girls would approach me saying how funny I was etc.

Point being, if you can do something really well that is cool/funny/etc, do it for the masses and you'll get what you want. If you can dance robot style, get up at a football game and dance like a robot behind the cheerleaders. (PS I love the jerkiness of the robot dance :P)

Remember, center of attention=whatever you want

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Who Dares Wins; motto of the elite British SAS

Basically, if you don't even dare to go for the prize, you ensure you will never get it. Applies with women as much as it does with miltary objectives. Chicks dig confidence anyway.

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Yeah!

I remember reading someone famous' quote: 'There is no difference between faked courage and real courage' or something like that.

And its true. That quote has stuck in my mind for years now.

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wow, i woudnt know what i would ever do if my mom and siblings ever did that to me :P . All i can say is be strong and stand up for yourself. How old is your siblings? if theyre teenagers rub oil on their face and make them get acne and they will think twice about teesing you. lol just kidding. :( Just trust in GOD that he'll turn things around. We are always here if you need some support and dont listen to all those losers that say that your nothing, throw it back in their faces. Good Luck bro.

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It might seem out of context now but I'm gonna post my experience with acne and love. I've had acne for about 3 years now, and nothing I have done has gotten rid of it :P Well, about 6 weeks ago now, I found out that this incredibley hot girl (who shall remain nameless) liked me! Obviously I was chuffed, but it left me with a dilemma. I am a pretty attractive person from a distance, and I know that there are plenty of people who fancy the keks off me...from a distance. What would happen when I got to know this girl and she would get to know my skin? Well, I asked her out and she said yes, and we got along really well, but even from the onset I could see that lustful look dissapating from her eyes. I could see that as I was growing to love her (as she was also the most incredible person I ever met), she was becoming less and less attracted to me. Well, I tried to shrug it off and just remember exactly who I wa going out with, how much of an ego boost it gave me and how many other guys were jealous of me, but I always knew it couldn't really go anywhere, because of my skins condition. Well, the end finally came on wednesday. We were just standing there, chatting away, and out of the blue she says 'can we just be friends?'. Well, even though I had expected this, my heart was still completely ripped in two. People think that fear of rejection is a bad thing, well rejection is a million times worse. I went home and cried that night, and the next, and it was so fraustrating knowing that the soul cause was my skin. People can go on about how looks aren't important, and that it's the person inside that counts; well, you can dissilusion yourself for as long as you like thinking that way, but until you see yourself as others see you (which isn't normally a good thing in our case) then you will never have the real confidence and attitude that you desire. I am left wishing that I had never started going out with her in the first place. I would have preferred it if she had fancied me from afar (which is something that people can do with me), but never come so close as to realize the extent of my problem. You can ignore acne with your friends, because looks aren't important to them, but in a relationship where lust is an important factor, it just doesn't work.

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if she did leave you because you had acne then that's no kind of girl you'd want to be with. and yes looks are important somewhat. i couldn't be with someone who i thought was repulsive...on the other had i couldn't be with brad pitt either. i've met people who i've thought were absolutley beautiful. once i got to know them however they became ugly. same thing the other way to, not so cute people became very atractive once i knew them. so i guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder as cheesey as that may sound. if someone can't look over a few pimples to the person inside...in my book that doesn't make them a very good person. that's me anyway.

as far as my parents calling me worthless....heh...yeah, what a fucked up childhood eh??

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