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emmabrown

do you find it hard to make lots of eye contact?

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and its because of low self esteem due to acne?

mine isnt really that bad, I thought it was, but I've looked through one or two pics, and I realise, I am pretty lucky, even though I do have acne, it could be far worse, so I should be grateful!

anyways, back on topic, I hate being watched, like if I'm doing something at work, and youre workmates are watching, I hate it, I have to stop and say something because it makes me self conscious, I also make as limited eye contact with people as possible, especially guys, I just feel like, if you make lots of eye contact, thats when they focus on youre face, I was just thinking about how much I do it, I need to stop. I'm the same even with make-up on, my skin, it feels like combination skin, because even though it is very oily, especially around my nose, well though, I also seem to moisturise all the time, since if I dont, make-up becomes dry and peely, and if I do, it sometimes gets the same way, its so annoying, the first thing I do in the morning, when I wake up, is jump out of bed and look in the mirror, the first thought that goes through my head is, wonder what my skin looks like today, my skin is constantly on my mind, its the first thing on my mind in the morning, I worry about it all the time, I spend so much time looking in the mirror when I have time, people mistake this for vanity, but it really is lack of self esteem. acne really does ruin lives, it changes you, youre attitude, youre feelings on things, how you interact with people, how you run youre live, before my skin got bad I used to think in my head when I'd see people with bad skin, oh god, they need to wash their face, oh god, glad thats not me, now I just feel for anyone I see in that situation, acne really does destroy lives. eusa_boohoo.gif

end of rant lol

anyone else similar?

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I think alot of people here can relate, I know I can to alot of it. The best advice is to try to relax. Acne is so insidious because it's so hard for someone who has never experienced it to relate. People can routinely be glad that they don't have acne, or feel sorry for someone who doesn't, but it's hard to grasp the entire scope of the problem unless you've experienced it. I know for me, in some ways it has taken over my life. I've changed my diet, I spend an inordinate amount of time and money on skin care (and I'm a GUY!), and yet my skin still looks worse than that of everyone around me. It's not fair, but that is life, so all you can do is the best you can and hope it goes away. Realize that regardless of how your skin is, chances are you still have tons of things going for you. Find a guy who recognizes these and you'll find yourself much happier. I know it can be hard when you have such a low self-confidence, but in general just realize that some people will understand and have no problem with your skin problems. Just realize that it's much less likely to be the guys who look like Brad Pitt because chances are they can't relate.

j

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emma,

I completely understand. I'm in the same boat myself right now. When I wake up in the morning, I sometimes fear going into the bathroom, because I don't want to see how much worse it's gotten. Though, in the last two days, it's gotten a little better. I'm hoping it'll continue that way.

But it's definitely always on my mind.

As for eye contact, I get more discouraged when I DON'T have eye contact. When someone is looking straight at you, making eye contact, they are taking in your whole face, and honestly, your face as a whole usually looks a lot better than when someone looks at a certain part of your face (ie. the chin, forehead). I feel that if I don't make eye contact myself, then they'll just look at all the imperfections on my face, but if I make eye contact with someone and keep it, they usually do, too.

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I have problems making eye contact as well. My acne insn't bad any more, mostly redmarks. But avoiding eye contact with people and avoiding people in general sticks around after your acne is gone. I'm workign on getting better, but its a slow process.

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i did a little when i was younger and had facial acne, now that gone, and its just scars on my back, but i cant say for sure if it was my acne or it was just shyness. but now im nothing like that, ill stare a hole in someone, cause i dont really care what people think, getting older i gained alot of confidence, and what people besides my friends and family think doesnt concern me. thats the way to play it people who matter. dont lower your head to anyone its a sign of weakness, it also lets them know you think your not as good as them, thats why i will look someone in the eyes no matter what.

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I hate being watched to. Sometimes I see somebody watch and then I can feel somebody will comment on my face. Then I always make a silly joke which draws the attention off my face.

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I always avoid eye contact or as stupid as it sounds, i only show the right side of my face since that is the "better side" my acne might no tbe that bad but to me it looks like mars, with all those mountains and bumps on it. I always wear long sleeves so no one can see how white i am compared to my pink/red face from acne. i cancel going out with friends i decline invitations, i dont even go out on weekends due to embarassment. I just wish that i could be viewed like evryone else. what gets me mad though is that dermatoligists say that like 85% of teens get acne, i look around my high school and i see less then 10% have severe or "visual" acne. i just want to be normal. . . .

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I used to feel the same way! It was so hard for me to keep eye contact, it still is with someone who's really good looking. I hate it when guys think you look hot from far away, and then u see the slight disappointment when they're like a foot away from you. I feel like i'm letting them down. i know it's odd but I feel bad. Just try and remember ur still the same person u were before u got acne. Some mornings I wake up and think I'm tan and clear again, (i havent had this too long), and then I remember I'm not. Like I'll start flirting with aguy and then ill remember (he won't want you once u take ur makeup off).

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. what gets me mad though is that dermatoligists say that like 85% of teens get acne, i look around my high school and i see less then 10% have severe or "visual" acne.  i just want to be normal. . . .

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I'm like that regardless. It doesn't matter if my face is totally clear or not, I still find it difficult to make eye contact with people (especially girls biggrin.gif) and I also hate being watched...always have, and most likely always will.

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Guest Zitro

In the past, I always tried to force myself to make eye contact and try to show less self-consciousness ... eventually, it became a habit that came naturally instead of forced ... I hope it can happen to you too.

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I suck at making eye contact even when I didn't have a lot of acne...but now I just find myself walking to school and I have my head down almost the whole time...whenever I walk past someone on the sidewalk I just put my head down and hope that they don't notice my face ya know....but somtimes I almost run into things which makes me look really stupid lol rolleyes.gif there should be a support group for this.........

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sad.gif aw, it really IS better to make eye contact though, with anyone, attractive to you or no. It's when you look away, or down, that they start to look at the other parts of your face because they're not sure where else to look.

If you don't want to draw attention to the parts you're self-conscious about, just make eye contact and keep it. Most people will keep eye contact in a conversation if you do, you know?

But yeah, I know, lots of things are easier said than done. But try it in your next conversation and maybe you'll agree. It also makes you feel (and appear) a little more confident, too, which is nice.

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why is it easier to make eye contact with people you aren't attracted to and hard to make eye contact wtih people you are attracted to?

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So if a girl doesn't look my way, she may still be interested?

I always thought when a girl looks away was a way of saying not interested  neutral.gif

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Guest Amy Lee

"do you find it hard to make lots of eye contact?, with people and also, hate being watched"

Yes, definitely. But only to people who have clear skins. But I'm not ashamed facing people with acne, cause it makes me feel like they can emphatize with my condition. I feel like they won't make fun of me because of my acne coz they have it too and know how's it like to suffer from it.

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like the example we are using, girl looks at the floor, could mean attracted, but to other girls could mean not attracted to. Very confusing.

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No, I stare at people all the time. But I make sure I'm as uninterested in people as possible. Might as well since everyone thinks I'm a disgusting subhuman creature. If there's an attractive girl on the street, I'd look at them and turn away in disgust. That's exactly what they're thinking of me. So screw them.

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If you make eye contact with someone then they perhaps won't notice your acne as much. I use to avoid making eye contact but someone told me i had nice eyes and that i should make more eye contact.

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