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i have been with my boyfriend nearly a year i love being with him and talking to him and stuff but he really hates my acne i mean not just because it upsets me but because he just doesn't like it

I mean i have been on minocyline for a while now and its really starting to work but he just keeps on and on about me going back to the doctors for me to get it sorted out faster

Does anyone else have a problem like this?

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Guest Avian

If he can't see past your acne, why have you been with him for nearly a year? Try making constant comments about one of his physical imperfections, see how he takes it.

If you like him enough, tell him to stop. If he doesn't, maybe it's just his way of showing he's concerned.

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It sounds like he really cares about you, and maybe he just wants to your acne gone because he thinks it will make you happy.

If it bothers you that he keeps bringing it up, maybe you should talk to him about it and ask him not to talk about it so often anymore.

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You can't make someone love you, or in your case make someone love you more, and you shouldn't ever have to. Love is unconditional and there really are no degrees. You either love someone, or you don't. If he's still with you then maybe he does really care about you and is worried about how it affects you, but it's hard to judge the situation from afar. When you no longer get more enjoyment out of the relationship than you do anxiety then it's time to move on, but not every relationship has to be love in order to be worthwhile. If you still enjoy spending time with him then stay with him, if you don't, then leave him. smile.gif

j

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Obviously he doesn't always make you feel like shit if you love him. And if you were perfect then everyone would love you, love is about accepting someone's flaws. Talk to him about your concerns, if he loves you then he'll understand.

j

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if it weren't acne and say, a weight problem, i dont think everyone would be so understanding of this guy's behavior.

concerned or not, someone who loves you will not ever, ever make you feel ugly.

what does he think he accomplishes by telling you to go see more doctors? doesn't he know you hate the acne more than he????

tell him to go get a penis implant because you care about him and you think it'll make "him feel better."

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Umm, really, he should be making you feel better about yourself at a time when you need it, instead he's making you feel worse. You may love him, but I have a hard time reading love into his actions.

j

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Guest Keeley
i have been with my boyfriend nearly a year i love being with him and talking to him and stuff but he really hates my acne i mean not just because it upsets me but because he just doesn't like it

I mean i have been on minocyline for a while now and its really starting to work but he just keeps on and on about me going back to the doctors for me to get it sorted out faster

Does anyone else have a problem like this?

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thats the thing all the fuss he makes about it just makes me feel worse though how can he love me if he says the things he says but then again if its that bad for him he must love me to still be with me

this is what i don't understand

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It sounds like he doesn't really care about you, only about himself. He is acting like your acne is a burden to him, not you. He doesn't care about your feelings, only his. What makes things worse are your feelings towards him - thus, you excuse his behaviour.

You definitely need to tell him how bad it's making you feel. Only then can you know his true attitude towards you.

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no i am asking if anyone is in a similar situation where thier partner hates their acne and comments on it but still loves them, i mean everything is fine with him - he just borders on the obsessive about getting it fixed

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why do you assume he loves you? just because he's still with you even though your acne is "so bad" for him????

not everyone sticks around because of love. and who knows why people say what they say. but one thing is for sure--with love comes respect. if he respects you, he wouldn't say things to make you feel like you're "diseased." this guy is acting out of his own insecurity and immaturity.

i once had a boyfriend whom i complained to about a huge pimple. he said, "what??? i can't even see it!!" (liar.) i said, "it's so gross...god, i'm breaking out so much." he said, "you're still gorgeous."

now THAT is what it's supposed to be like.

hmm..maybe the next time he complains, you should just say you're fed up with how expensivemeds are and that you're giving up. he'll panic so have HIM pay for all future treatments and doctors. after you get clear, dump his ass, and find yourself a man who loves you no matter what (yes, i believe it's a cliche, but I also believe that man exists out there somewhere).

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This is the classic relationship of an abuser and a victim. I don't want to blow things out of proportion; I'm not saying that he's going to hit you the next time you guys discuss your acne, but he clearly derives some sort of pleasure out of telling you that you're unappealing because of your skin problem.

No offense, but you probably suffer from low self esteem (don't we all? :/) and because of this, justify his actions. "Well, I do have acne, and it is ugly... I guess he's right."

As somebody said before, NO person who loves you will make you feel ugly on purpose. If this is a one time thing (which I get the impression it's not), then perhaps it's not a big deal. If he says it politely (which I also get the impression he doesn't), then maybe he's just trying to help you. But if he's saying shit like, "Baby, your face looks like crap. Don't you go to a doctor, or something?" Then he's emotionally abusing you.

That's NOT a good relationship to be involved in. You must tell him how you feel about his comments. If he gets nasty about it, then he's not worth it. If he apologizes and tells you that he'll try harder to restrain himself - and actually follows through with it - then, well, maybe you can forgive him.

Anyways, it makes me sad to think that your boyfriend is making you feel badly about yourself. I hope you can resolve this issue before he whittles your self confidence down to nothing.

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um i think i am getting misunderstood

like he doesn't go on about its disgusting sort it out etc

its more too concerned he is nice like he knows it upsets me and stuff which is why he wants me to get it sorted

i think he is trying to be supportive but it is coming across as pressure to do something

i have said to him how much i would lke it to be gone and how it upsets me - he is like you need to push the doctor into giving you the best treatment go see them again

he does always say how much he loves me and that he wouldn't change a thing but i know he would like me to have a confidence boost

i mean i wouldn't still be with somone who is constantly giving be abuse about how bad i look i know no one is worth it for that

hope that is abit clearer

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Yeah, well I guess my mother gets a bit like that, always suggesting new things to try, and occasionally commenting on the condition of my skin (often the opposite of how I feel about it at the time). They can turn into fairly heated discussions. But of course it's all because she cares about me and wants me to feel more happy / confident / attractive etc...

Is that the kind of thing you mean?

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thanks alexis

and exactly star girl glad someone else has a similar sort of situation

i told him today could he not keep on about it and i would try and go to the doctors and ask if there was anything else to try and help

he said he loved me the way i am and would like me to be happy thats all - so there could be a happy ending as yet

just thought i should let u all know that i have a huuuuge smile on my face because of it biggrin.gif

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There is no such thing as a happy ending.

Anyway, my girlfriend has notified that i had acne, but she could easily get past the acne and see a beautiful person, with no pressure to get rid of it. THAT IS CARING, but when your boy goes and says something along the lines of what he says... it makes him sound like a dick, sounds like you are his trophy.... no one wants a dirt covered trophy... right?

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iTS THE OTHER WAY AROUND FOR ME... "ITS STOP PUTTING MAKE UP ON UR FACE.. SO WHAT U HAVE A FEW PIMPLES, MAKE UP ISNT FOR U! UR TOO CUTE." AND ALL I DO IS PUT ON FOUNDATION AND LIL BIT EYELINER.

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summberbay..... girl, i hope your bf means it... but honestly, if he starts saying you should go to the doctor... (it's like saying you need to go to the gym more often) again, time to dump him. A person who really loves you will forget the stuff on the face, and be more into whats behind the pretty. I know you're in love, and it's hard to listen to us, but keep this in consideration. Just be aware of his attitude toward you and superficiality...

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it sounds like he's more embrassed about your acne than you are.i have been married for 10yrs since 19 iam 29 now my husband never made these kinda remarks.that just suks.it's not like you dont know you have acne . good luck

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