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digikitten

A model's accutane log

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Wow! Your website is fantastic

I'm sure you get 1000's of people telling you how gorgeous you are. But I can imagine that if you feel the way about your skin as i do mine, that it doesn't matter how many times you here it, you still hate your skin?

I hope everything goes well for you. You seem like such an interesting person. It must feel good to tell people what you do for a living. It's so unusual and fascinating. I'm just a boring nurse!

Take care!

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Day 22

FUCK.

I HATE MY FACE! Right now, today, day 22, 2 days before I fly out to bermuda, I HATE MY FACE.

Everything was going so well... I barely wore any makeup anymore... no active pimples, only concealable red marks... and now that I got a job that requires me to look my best (poolhall waitress... 90% male customers!), and now that I'm going to work in Bermuda for 10 days (fire shows! yay!), now that my face is so dry that makeup looks like shit... NOOOOOW my skin decides to fuck me over. THANKS A LOT, MOTHER NATURE! YEAH, THANKS!

It could be my period, I just got it today, and I always break out much more than usual when I'm pmsing... OR it could be the DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN INITIAL BREAKOUT OF DOOM manifesting itself. In which case, I'm devastated, for it will take longer to clear up than a PMS breakout.

My pimples are fairly small in size, but they're coming in clusters. 3 of them clumped together to form something thta looks and feels like a cyst. And they scab!!! If I peel, it bleeds. And of course, such is Paula Kaiser, I can't stop picking.

Blackheads GALORE! everything looks like shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Skin is dry. I rub vitamin E oil on the peely spots (corners of my nose, especially), and thankfully it hasn't broken me out. Lips peel, CONSTANTLY. My lower back is very sore all the time, and I'm always tired.

Those are really my only main concerns tho. I've replaced meat with soy products, so that should help keep my cholesterol low...

But just so this isn't COMPLETELY negative, I did have one rather enjoyable blemish-blasting moment today!! For as long as I can remember, my chin has been COVERED in blackheads, that you can really only see when I tighten my lower lip. When you DO see them tho, it's gross. You see the black head poking out, and the yellow stuff inside. They're IMPOSSIBLE to extract tho, not matter how much I pick and exfoliate. They're HARD, too! Feel like sandpaper.

Well anyway, today, after I washed my face, I tightened my lips to see the blackheads, and scratched at them a little. To my surprise, they ROLLED off with every scratch! It was amazing, with a light touch, DOZENS of blackheads slithered their way out of my pores. And now my chin is smooooooooth! So big up to Brooklyn!

Only 21 more weeks... soon, perfect skin will be mine.

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Day 23

Saw my derm today. She's upping me to 80mg/day as opposed to the 40mg/day that I take now. This will take place in 7 days.

I'm nervous about that. It's probably gonna trigger a SICK breakout, and it's most certainly going to worsen my side effects. My face looks like absolute SHIT right now, and I'm flying to Bermuda tomorrow. Actually... I'm flying in 16 hours.

I'm stressed about everything. Argh. Ung. ()*&(*&!#@(*

My boyfriend told me today that I'm "a little overweight". I thank him for being honest... but now I feel like I'm unnatractive to him. And since he told me that... I haven't been able to stop eating. That's what I do when faced with stress. I eat. Like my life depends on it.

BARF. Life is cruel today. Sorta.

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paula!!!!!!

you are gorgeous. i know its hard to feel that way right now, during a breakout and in the midst of your skin trying to heal- so i just figured i would remind you.

i hope your boy knows how lucky he is.

just keep in mind the end result. itll be great.

thanks for posting on my accutane log.. i changed my hair! hehe- the pics i just posted.

smile! forum...

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Day 32

Hey guys! Sorry I've been away, I was in Bermuda and didn't have time to use the internet...

Well anyway, let's see... my dosage was upped to 80mg, and I've been on that dose for 6 days now. While in bermuda, I barely needed chapstick. My lips behaved very nicely. However, this morning I woke up and they were PAINFULLY dry. Lower back pains are still bothering me a little, but I don't feel so fatigued anymore. I drank alcohol in Bermuda, and I wouldn't suggest it. It makes you even MORE dehydrated, which as a result, makes your skin look like shit.

I was broken out in bermuda the whole time. Still getting over the "initial breakout" I think. My skin was peeling peeling peeling! And I can't help but pick the scabs, which left some red marks all over. It's cool tho. In less than 5 months I'll have perfect skin smile.gif

I've got a KILLER rash on my arms that I originally thought was from Accutane, but now i'm pretty convinced it's poison ivy. UGH.

Anyway, all is well. Few pimples here and there, bumpy skin, NO oil whatsoever tho. And OH, some pretty big blackheads on the side of my nose. But I'm satisfied with the progress in one month.

Now... PICTURES!!!!

user posted image

That's me and Michael Saab, of Modern Gypsies fame, in our pirate costumes. My skin looks PERFECT here, but don't be fooled, it's a lighting trick. I actually had some small scabs on my chin, and little zits on my right cheek.

user posted image

My face 11 days ago, and a ton of makeup.

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hey digikitten,

I am looking for a good conceler. Can you recommend something? Also, are you suppose to put the conceler on before or after putting on foundation?

Thanks,

Viv

P.S. You look great-I cant even tell you break out.

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oh wow... even if i wear a ton of makeup, i will NEVER look that good! i cant even tell you're breaking out!!

you're absolutely gorgeous. good luck with the tane. i'm on 40mg, 2nd month, and i'm breaking out and f*ing getting pissed. =_=

but wow.. i really cant tell u have acne.

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Day 46 (I think)

Wonderful wonderful wonderful!

I'm at the PEAK of my PMS, which means I should have a billion zits right now... but I don't!!! I have ONE pimple on my cheek that bothers me, and iiiiiittty bitty little bumps I don't care so much about cuz they barely show. Red marks... yeah, but not too bad. Plus, makeup covers it ALL up. I'll post some pics of me with makeup on and you'll see, it looks flawless!!

My lower back is CONSTANTLY sore tho. Lips always dry, and a KILLER rash on my arms. Dry skin, maybe? Looks kinda like poison ivy. What else... OH! I've been spotting inbetween periods. Could that be from accutane? Jesus, I hope I'm not pregnant! =X

Anyway, I did a show at a fetish party last night, and it was incredible! Here are some pics:

user posted image

user posted image

user posted image

SEE THAT??? my skin looks fantastic!!!!!! I LOVE ACCUTANE!!!

user posted image

user posted image

HOORAY!

I got a really INCREDIBLE response from the crowd. My skin MUST'VE looked really good, cuz I had a bunch of women tell me how pretty I am. HEHE. It used to not happen much... you know... when I had boils festering on my face.

HOORAY ACCUTANE!!!!!

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So your becoming satisfied with accutane?.............any advice....I really wanna go on it......Im hope my derm lets me eusa_pray.gif

Accutane is a miracle, and I really do hope your derm lets you go on it. It can be rough... one day your skin will be perfect, the next day worse than ever... but I've had NO side effects, and my skin began to clear up INSTANTLY.

Good luck smile.gif

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Day 60!!

Wow! 2 months on Accutane!

It's been incredible so far. My skin looks pretty good... it's kinda red all over my face (not even spots, but ALL OVER), but makeup covers that up. I have some blachkeads still, but fewer than before. Any pimples that form shrivel up and fall off within a day or two, and they're few and far inbetween.

People are starting to comment on my progress. My mother told me she's amazed at how good my skin looks. She says it "looks like a peach". My boyfriend is so impressed that he wants to go on accutane himself. The last photographer I shot with told me my skin was fabulous, and we BARELY had to touch up the pics.

Besides dry lips, I have NO SIDE EFFECTS. NONE. No change in mood, no sore joints, no more fatigue, no dehydration, nothing. The skin on my body is a little bit dry, and my arms have been rashy... but nothing bad at all.

And to think... that it's gonna get EVER BETTER. I can't wait to not wear makup at all...

Guys, I strongly recommend accutane. It really really REALLY is a miracle drug.

Oh, and here are some pics from the photographer that told me I have great skin

user posted image

user posted image

hahahah

photos by www.stuartphotography.com

www.paulakaiser.com

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Damn thats cool........Im glad its working for you.....Why is your face red?...Is it a part of what happends or somethin?....Hmm. I pray your skin keeps getting better........Hopefully accutane works for me like it is for you.......Keep Strong man.

BoNessa

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Damn thats cool........Im glad its working for you.....Why is your face red?...Is it a part of what happends or somethin?....Hmm. I pray your skin keeps getting better........Hopefully accutane works for me like it is for you.......Keep Strong man.

BoNessa

Yeah, I think as a side effect, accutane can make your skin pretty red...

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Day 62

I popped a zit. It was the only one on my face, on my right cheek, angry and red, with a gross yellow head. I was DREADING making it worse, but it actually made it a lot better. So now my skin is virtually zit-free, except for very very little whiteheads on my lower left cheek. I mean, you can't even see them. They're just little bumps.

I feel I should say, once again, that I never had SEVERE acne. I had several bumps all over my oily skin, and pretty consistent pustules, but never more than 4 or 5 at a time. At a bad point, it looked somewhat like this:

user posted image

And that's WITH a ton of makeup on.

Although mild, I ALWAYS had acne. I don't recall my skin EVER being clear. I tried monocyclin, doxyxycline, tetracyclin, differin, proactive, retin-a, benzaclyn, triaz, clean n' clear, department store stuff (clinique, biotherm, estee lauder, etc), every topical medication under the sun, and nothing EVER worked. I'm so incredibly amazed with the results of accutane. If in 2 months my skin looks THIS GOOD, I can't even imagine how incredible it's gonna be in 4 more months. And to think Iwas SO scared of this drug... and I don't even have any side effects. NONE! Even the dry lips aren't all that bad (but that's cuz I have aquaphor on them 24/7).

Here's a completely unretouched picture of me, with medium coverage foundation and powder, from 4 days ago:

user posted image

I mean... to me, that's absolutely incredible. I never thought I could have skin like this. I mean, I still have red spots that are VERY obvious without makeup... but I don't feel like I HAVE to wear makeup. I went out to Ihop for breakfast today with no makeup on, and felt 100% confident. My face is NEVER EVER oily. My makeup, which used to melt off about 2 hours after application, now lasts 12 hours, without ANY touching up. And my hair, which I had to wash EVERY SINGLE DAY, or it would get greasy as shit, hasn't been washed in 12 days (gross, I know) and still looks fresh and clean.

Really guys... accutane sounds like some scary shit... but it's the best decision I ever made. smile.gif

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I cant beleive it.........Im so fucken happy for you. Thats amazing man......Acne makes you feel like shit........And for you not having ta worry about it anymore Is a dream come true..........I really wanna go on it.........My acne is not that that bad but its their and who likes that?!.......My friends dont want me on it cuz their scared of the side affects.....Im confused......Im always thinking about what i should do........I hope your face and life keeps getting better........Keep StRong.

BoNessa

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Nice results.

Allthough you don't experience any bad side effects right now, I wouldn't jump for joy allready. How long are you planning to take accutane, and at what dosage? (sorry if it's mentioned somwhere, haven't looked closely).

In my oppinion Accutane isn't even close to a mirracle. It fixes one problem - Acne, but gives many people tons of other severe problems. It's great you don't feel them yet, but you are also pretty early in this process i'd say. As far as I know, the major attribute that contributes to Accutane's success for acne suffering people, is simply that it has so much A vitamin. Theres nothing new in this, before Accutane you could pop 30-50 A vitamin pills pr day and you would get the same results.

I mean technically theres nothing amazing in Accutane, and the thought of being constantly overdosed with A vitamin doesn't appeal to me that much. The A vitamin will slowly accumulate in your body and increase the overdose % day by day you take accutane.

I just felt I had to say this because the way you talk about Accutane, makes it sound very digestive to people who doesn't know about the risks involved.

Good luck anyways.

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