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Well, I'm on my day 4 of using an anti-biotic lotion from the doctors, and was feeling almost positive, until i woke up this morning, and a huge red f*cking spot apears on my forehead. Not to mention the others that are already there. It has totally affected my mood today. I've spent all day indoors screaming and ranting at everyone. When i think about how i look it just makes me feel like i want to shot myself. I just can't take it. Everything i do, every move i make, is just paralyzed with feelings of ugliness.

And to top it all off? Tomorow (actually today now, cos its gone midnight) is my 19th birthday, and i just want to hide away in a little cave until my spots go. I DON'T want to be the centre of attention. I don't even want to go horse-riding cos my helmet will probably rub away my make-up.

And now i'm scared that getting stressed today wil just cause more spots.

I'm sorry, I know i shouldn't go on about it, but i can't help the way i feel. And it just gets me down so much. The quality of my days are dependent on the quality of my skin.

I just hate it!! I can't take much more. I just want to be free from these swamping feelings of ugliness.

I don't even like going to the toilet anymore cos i know there are mirrors in there.

I know i'm just moaning, but maybe some of you understand how I feel?...

Claire x

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Claire i totally identify with your post. It seems I spend 90% of my waking hours thinking about my face and looking in mirrors. Sometimes I'll find a mirror with just the right lighting and I actually look presentable which raises my mood totally :) . Usually though the image reflected is just ugly. My self confidence is lowered to 0 and I don't want to go out or do things with friends.

There is support and hope on this forum though. Hang in there.

Jake.

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Hey Claire, I know just what you mean too. My mood is pretty much determined by how my face is on any given day. But you just started with the antibiotics, right? Usually it takes a little while, don't get discouraged. And happy birthday! I think you should go riding, wow, that's so fun, I never get to go anymore and it's my favourite thing in the world to do. And hey, the helmet will cover up the zits! Then you can go wash your face & put on some more makeup if you're going to go out after.

Anyway, have a great day & try not to worry about your face (easier said than done I know, but really, it looks MUCH worse to you than it does to anyone else).

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Claire,

I can completely identify with you. My skin got pretty bad for awhile, and I was a total wench to people sometimes, simply because I felt disgusting. If by some miracle I woke up and my face looked good, I was the sweetest, happiest person in the world. But of course, I looked horrible again within a day or so and was back to being my depressed self. But now, it doesn't affect me so much. And you know what did it? I went on a trip with my boyfriend, and he saw me without my makeup several times, and he didn't act any differently at all. He would still kiss me and hold me and treat me just the same as always. So it obviously isn't a big deal to other people. After that trip, I've been able to be an okay person even when my face breaks out occasionally. So, remember that other people really don't notice, and if they do, they don't care at all. You're still you, and the people around you love you no matter what. Obviously you're a beautiful person inside, or no one would want to be around you at all. Just remember that, and keep trying things until you find something that works for you.

SMILE!!!! :) :wink: :) :wink: :D :wink:

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Hey everyone, thank you so much for your sweet replies. My birthday went ok in the end, and i forced myself to ignore how i felt about my face and do everything a clear-skinned person would do!

I know EXACTLY what you mean AngelaJo..if i wake up and my skin is "ok", then i am the nicest person in the world! And everything seems so much sweeter. BUT, wake up and its bad news, and i am the most horrible bitch ever! and everything is grey and pointless. Its so stupid!

I'm gonna book mark this post and look at it every time i feel like running away.. thanks guys!! :wink:

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You hate to go to the toilet? I have a similar thing. I hate to hang up my jacket, because there's a mirror in the hallway where the 'garderobe' (what's this in English, somebody help) is. To make matters worse, the sun shines right in there, so EVERY spot is noticable. I usually just close my eyes when I go there so I won't feel down for the rest of the day. :S

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I pretty much do the same thing, I avoid looking at myself at the mirror. helps me keep my little bit of self confidence :]

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