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Donna

Can anyone give me hope?

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Hi everyone

I really want to do something about my scars once I've finished Roaccutane and I am allowed to, but after reading a lot of posts and other information on the net, I'm starting to feel like its a lost cause or something. I am yet to see anything that talks about a particular treatment for acne scarring being successful (I'm not talking 100%, but a big improvement) and am beginning to lose heart. My scarring has affected me really deeply because it has made me extremely self-conscious and that has affected every area of my life. I have always been told I'm "beautiful'' by people and I do get attention from guys everytime I go out, BUT clubs are always dark, so my scarring can't really be seen. I am separated from my husband at the moment and I know that my scarring has been a contributing factor, indirectly. My husband has NEVER once mentioned my scarring which I am so glad about and always told me I was beautiful, BUT I always felt so self-conscious and never wanted to go out with him and his friends because my self-consiciousness had made me so shy and I just couldn't make conversation with anyone. He is a very social person and this just really got to him (I never told him the real reason I never wanted to go out with him). Anyway, everything built up and he decided he wanted to separate for a while.

Anyway, I know that if I don't get back together with my husband I am going to have to move on, but I don't want to have to do that with my baggage about my scarring, as well as baggage about my husband separating from me. I'm not expecting everything to be alright just because my face looks better, but I really do need to do something about it because now I've got the depression about my marriage breakup and the low self-esteem that comes with that as well as feeling like no-one else will ever want me because of my skin (or my own feelings about my skin).

Sorry to go on, I didn't mean this to be my life story, just feeling crappy today.

Thanks Donna

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hey Donna now im no Dr. Phil or anything but i do know marriage only works as long as you can communicate with each other. I see you mentioned that you never told him that your scarring was the reason you never went out with him and his friends. You have to tell him this. That's a must. Support in battles against scars is important because some of the burden you're holding from them can be too much at times. There are many methods to help reduce appearance of scars. Dont lose hope. It's just a matter of picking the right method for your type of scars. I promise once you let everything your feeling inside out half the fight is over. Good luck and hope everything turns out good for you.

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Thanks very much. Well like I said that was only a contributing factor there are other things and at this point I doubt talking about my scarring will change anything. But thats how much they affect me. I NEVER talk to ANYONE about them. It even took me months to go to the dermatologist because that meant I HAD to and I had to have someone look at them closely which was a nightmare to me. Luckily the one I've just been to was quite a cool guy and didn't eyeball me the whole time, he just had a quick glance and then started chatting away in general which put me at ease. Actually it has only been in the last couple of years that I become a lot more aware of them, before I didn't really think they were that bad and no-one had mentioned them (out of politeness I guess) then one day someone said something...It was my husbands best friend. Right from the day I met him he used to comment on my looks (in a positive way). I even over-heard him telling someone how beautiful he thought I was. Then one night out of the blue we were having a few drinks and he goes "Did you have acne?" and I said "yeh" (feeling like I wanted to die) and he goes "Oh yeh, just because of your scars". Not long after I disappeared upstairs and started balling my eyes out. From that moment I got quite a bad complex about them. (wow I am really baring my soul here!)

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Donna - this is a good place for you to 'practise' talking openly about you scarring. Is there any way you can get to see a counsellor? That would really help you open up. Your husband sounds like a good man, someone worth holding on to.

I hope it all works out for you.

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