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SupremeDreamer

So, am I as ugly as I think I am?

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I think the reason he posted his question about being hot or not here is because he's wondering if his lack of self confidence about his looks is the result of his acne struggles. Have I got that right?

Like a lot of other people said, attractiveness is subjective. I think it's dangerous to ask people whether they think you're attractive or not. Because no matter how thick-skinned you think you are, it hurts when someone says something unflattering. Obviously, you would like some affirmation that you're a good, worthy person. We all do. And while it's great to spruce up and try to look your best, I think it would also be good if you could get positive feedback from something apart from your looks. You mentioned that you are good at writing--have you thought about submitting your work anywhere? Maybe a contest or magazine? If you feel confident about other aspects of yourself, you will not focus so much on your looks, which will automatically make you more attractive. As a lot of people have already stated in this thread and others, insecurity is the number one turn-off. Guys, especially, can get away with being average or even below-average looking (not that I'm saying you are), as long as they project the right attitude. (it also helps if you have money, lol) If I posted a pic of the sexiest guy at the college I attended for undergrad, everybody would think I was crazy because he wasn't what you would call traditionally good-looking. But all the girls were crazy for him because he was so...cool. And he was cool because he was confident.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

Juliette

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that was so uncalled for. He wanted our honest opinions and he even clearly stated for the record that he doesn't want any sugarcoated b.s comments. I am not gonna lie just for the sake of sounding polite when the thread starter wanted our most true and honest opinions about him. dammit, i would be lying to myself if i said he looked good. i'm not that type of person who will lie to someone. I don't think he remotely attractive and a lot of you people are lying through your teeth when you say he is "not ugly".

capable human beings with an adequate mental capacity are able to differentiate between ugly and pretty. this guy is not very handsome and its because he doesn't have those features that qualify for being attractive.

i just want to make it clear that my intent was not to insult the guy who posted his picture. as per his request, he mentioned that it would be alright if our opinions of him were negative. unlike some of the people here who would rather outright lie than to give their honest opinions, i feel i am probably one of the only credible people here. i apologize if the guy was insulted by my comments. i just did what i was asked, and that was to give your honest thoughts.

unfortunately some of the members here are really naive. they seem to think the world is a leave it to beaver kind of atmosphere. *reality check* the world is a dog eat dog world. lets try and be more realistic people. i think emotional support is awsome. however, sometimes you guys need to get in tune with reality. that's all i'm gonna say.

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I still think he is not ugly. he's got nice eyes and lips. he does look tired on the pic, and his hair is a little distracting, but his features are balanced and normal.

I betcha if he lost weight and did something cool to his hair girls would be following him.

he is not ugly at all. and personality counts a lot in any relationship. if he's kind and has respect to other people, people will see the beauty in him.

btw, i don't see any acne.

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I still think he is not ugly. he's got nice eyes and lips. he does look tired on the pic, and his hair is a little distracting, but his features are balanced and normal.

I betcha if he lost weight and did something cool to his hair girls would be following him.

he is not ugly at all. and personality counts a lot in any relationship. if he's kind and has respect to other people, people will see the beauty in him.

btw, i don't see any acne.

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Ugly and hot are relative terms. What's hot to me, might be ugly to someone else and viseversa. That's why we all have different friends and marry different women.

Asking "am I ugly" doesn't solve anything. You still are who you are, and you look how you look. A better question is: what can I do to improve the way I look? The answer would be: lose weight, get new clothing, then decide if you want a new haircut. You're lookin a little dirty right now.

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that was so uncalled for. He wanted our honest opinions and he even clearly stated for the record that he doesn't want any sugarcoated b.s comments. I am not gonna lie just for the sake of sounding polite when the thread starter wanted our most true and honest opinions about him. dammit, i would be lying to myself if i said he looked good. i'm not that type of person who will lie to someone. I don't think he remotely attractive and a lot of you people are lying through your teeth when you say he is "not ugly".

capable human beings with an adequate mental capacity are able to differentiate between ugly and pretty. this guy is not very handsome and its because he doesn't have those features that qualify for being attractive.

i just want to make it clear that my intent was not to insult the guy who posted his picture. as per his request, he mentioned that it would be alright if our opinions of him were negative. unlike some of the people here who would rather outright lie than to give their honest opinions, i feel i am probably one of the only credible people here. i apologize if the guy was insulted by my comments. i just did what i was asked, and that was to give your honest thoughts.

unfortunately some of the members here are really naive. they seem to think the world is a leave it to beaver kind of atmosphere. *reality check* the world is a dog eat dog world. lets try and be more realistic people. i think emotional support is awsome. however, sometimes you guys need to get in tune with reality. that's all i'm gonna say.

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Sorry for not responding earlier, I had a few things at home that needed to be dealt with. (aye, the tweakers attacked the castle again... oh well.)

Now a few mentioned hotornot.com and such, and asked why I didn't post my photo there. Well, my main reason is that such websites are not constructive at all. I may indeed get a very frank ranking of my appearance, but no advice or comments on improvement, my better qualities, etc. I also understand that posting the question here would result in some biased answers, but I knew there would also be those who would be very frank and direct. Another reason I posted here, is because I've dealt with severe acne, which is one factor in my insecurities, and I still have some scarring. Also, in a sense, I consider you folks "my people". In other words, I relate to the people here, and they can relate to me, even if my current acne is somewhat less than mild now. (Thank heavens.)

Now here's my replies for some particular folks:

Marvin: Well, though indeed your opinion isn't flattering, I'm not hurt or offended by it. I respect your honesty and courage, and to me it's a sign of character. So be assured that I won't hold any grudges against you, and despite your opinion of my appearance, I hope that we may become friends.

Ayla: Thank you for commenting on my eyes, I've been told that they at times have an unnerving or comforting effect, depending on my mood. Heh. You don't want to see my evil eye glare, it's intense. And about the weight, some girls who have big boyfriends have told me that it's like having "a big over-stuffed teddy bear.". I've also heard them say it's cozy and "more to cuddle with". I guess weight isn't a major issue, aside from extreme cases, it's different for every girl. "Fat guys get girls too."

And about the poetry, I have at times shared poetry with girls. Only issue is that my writing tends to be a little.. lets say "intellectual". Alot of girls "don't get it." or become offended by certain aspects of a poem. Romantic poetry is something that as a rule I usually avoid in writing, unless I can really write a piece that doesn't have all the cliche and pitfalls that blemish such poems. But, who knows, if the right girl has me drunk on love and inspired, I might write a piece that captures her heart.

Thank you again, for your reply, and I'd like to apologize about the comment I made a couple days ago about acne and children. I sometimes get over passionate in my rebuttals.

Maceintheeye: You're very perceptive my friend, and your right. At the time the photo was taken, I hadn't slept for perhaps two or three days. About the "long ball", are you talkin bout the wigger afro? Because I haven't met any that digged it on me. Heh.. I don't like my afro. But anyway, thanks for your input, it's appreciated.

David: Seems very fair and honest, your opinion, and I'm not offended. You weren't rude either, or I don't see it that way. Thank you.

Turtle: I can understand your objection, and I did not intended to degenerate this forum into one of superficiality. I made my posting after seeing similiar ones, and it somewhat fit with this forums topic line.

Steeple: About shaving, you might be right, though I'm still experimenting with my facial hair.. mostly because I ABSOLUTELY HATE TO SHAVE!! I have sensitive skin, and I tend to get razor bumps when I do... but I'm still trying out shaving creams and razors, along with other methodes to avoid the razor bumps. Some friends say I look better with the goatee that I had goin till yesterday, when I decided to shave. Any advice for shaving would be greatly appreciated btw. Thank you for your comments.

Juliette: You are partially correct, but my past acne issues are only one factor involved in my insecurity, though it is a relevant one. I understand your arguements about asking others opinion concerning my appearance. I know that there is always some emotional consequence, but with me it's not something that has potent effects. I've dealt with harsh and cruel insults and being picked on because of my looks all my life, even from my own mother. I've come to a point where I no longer let it hurt me. What others say is nothing compared to the psychological beating that I hurl upon myself. About my poetry, I have submitted it to various online forums and in particular, www.poemranker.com, under the penname SupremeDreamer. I don't really focus so much on my looks, but it's an issue I feel must be dealt with now, as I'm trying to move forward and accomplish certain goals. Thank you for you comments.

To those of you I didn't mention, your comments were not ignored or under-appreciated, you all have my gratitude and thanks. I really like you all, eccentric or otherwise, and I have benefitted from your points of view. I hope to be as helpful in any regards, especially when it comes to those of you going through accutane, since I've been there, experienced the hardest effects, and came out the otherside.

Peace,

cool.gif SDreamer evil.gif

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You look a pretty swave dude; being sociable and very friendly the next time you go out so much; from experience i've found that when you do it once, and be outgonig, it can affect you in the long term,' you'll feel much better about yourself.

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hahahhahaha buddy wow. You look EXACTLY like my older brother. Cept your cheeks are a bit bigger, you have waaay longer hair, and you have more facial hair. Buddy if ya lose a bit of weight and take care of ur hair youll be just liek my bro. He gets teh hottest chicks ever.

But also its his attitude he is very outgoing and loves to be social.

Thats the key to sucess!

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