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!CiRiEiEiP!!

ALRIGHT, ITS THAT TIME AGAIN...

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JUST PM ME IF YOU DONT ALREADY KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. FEEL FREE TO, I WONT MIND.

I really cant believe what a mess i got myelf into with this girl. This shit is STILL going on. STILL!

I see her now only twice a week now, for about 4 or 5 hours each day.

I honestly just want to drop everything and just run till my legs fall off or my heads explodes, i want to get the hell out of here. I am getting nowhere with this girl and yet i "think" we are getting somewhere.

Its just that the "competition" with my brother is just getting out of hand here. We are fighting for something we both cant have. I have a class with her, we talk, laugh, share personal information and once my brother shows up she has a class with him, and they walk off to class, start to talk and i dont see them for a couple of hours later. AND I GET SO FUCKING JEALOUS! I cant stop myself from getting that way. And i am sure he feels the same when i am with her.

Actually hes with her at school as i write this and im home alone waiting for my next class with her to start.

I cant stop this addiction. Like i said in other post, she is driving me mad, i dream about her, parctice lines im going to say to her next time we meet and all that stupid shit. BUT WHY? WHY! Its not like i have a chance in hell to be with her. SHE DOESNT LOVE ME. FACT.

Im her friend, her buddy. THATS BULLSHIT! I cant even look at other girls because of her, NO ONE COMPARES! NO ONE. But i think i have to move past that and just deal with someone not as good as her.

Dont get me wrong i really enjoy being her friend but it hurts me that once she's "done" with me at the end of the day, she goes home to her boyfriend that she loves to death, and completely forgets about me and yet i still think and dream of her as if she was MY girlfriend.

Actually probably half of the people at my school think she IS my girlfriend. We walk everwhere to get her, we play with each other physically (pushing and just act real freindly) We get the strangest looks from people. That thing is with HER!

I kind of enjoy all the attention in a way but who am i fooling, so what if they think shes mine, SHES NOT! PERIOD.

There arent really any "tips" you guys can give me because frankly they are useless here.

I bet some of you were expecting this grand story with these all these turns and twist like in my other posts on this subject but to be honest there arent anymore. There is no chase here. I meet her for class, we chat, class ends i see her 3 hours later garanteed and spend 2 more hours with her. BIG WOOPIE DO. I get to TALK to her.

I want someone that once class is over we go home together and cuddle and watch a movie or just SOMETHING outside of school. We did go out with each other (and my brother) on certai occations but thats not the same. AHHH!

But she is so nice and just is a beautiful person. When i am down, she WILL bring me up. Everytime. She treats me like a king. Gives me a ride from one side of the school to the other when clearly i can walk there but she insist. When i have a problem with something (like family) she will confort me and tell me how everything is alright. and i love that. LOVE IT.

Not just her personality but god damit sweet mother of the holy cow does she have a great body. Fan-freaking-tastic. She works out everyday. Takes care of herself ,eats right. There is no one that i ever see (tv or other wise) that looks this beautiful to me.

So see, isnt that what we are all looking for. Not just someone who turns you on physically but someone that you just LOVE and just there very existance makes you happy. There smile, laugh, walk, voice, every frekle on there little face, everything is just perfect as far as your concerned. I cant see MY life with out her.

Hell, it STARTED the second i meet her (almost a year now, Feb 12 was the first day we spoke to each other, and i remember every single detail of that moment, and would be glad to share it with anyone whoes interested but i bet she doesnt remember that much details about us). I really dont remember life before her, seriously.

and boy have i changed since then. I looked like a complete BUM when we first meet. Acne was at its worse, i was using proactive, so yeah i looked terrible.

NOW. I am alot happier with myself and i can only thanks her for that.

My face still has acne all over but i deal with it. I usually get embarresed with my acne when she gives me rides cause we are so close in her car that the acne just shine through. I hate it.

This is going to continue until the end of this year. And i know i will fight to have more classes with her than my brother as usual and i will not be able to control myself.

But whats going to happen once this is all over? We separate. She goes to her school and lives her life and i go where im going, without her. I will be very very depressed. I know it.

So see thats why i cant let go of this addiction cause i want to spend as much time with her before we separate as possible.

Yeah, yeah i know there are plenty of fish in the sea but you know what, what happens when you found that fish (in this case person) thats stands so far from the rest, so far that you just know you cant let them go.

And thats the situation i am in now.

I have class with her at 2:00-3:30 today and i already have what im going to say ready in my head. Then we have a 4 day split, i see her tuesday and the cycle continues over and over. It really is taking its toll on me. and it shows, physically and mentally.

Like i've said before and i will say it again, i can write FOREVER on this subject about this girl in my life, but i think i'll stop this one here.

Thanks you so much to those who actually took the time to read all of this, it means alot to me, its kind of thearapy for me and feel free to reply back i really am looking forward to talking to guys about this somemore.

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If things are meant to happen they will happen. Don't fret so much man; you either have to tell her how you feel, or let her know somehow...or keep living your life as miserably as it sounds like you're living it...but remember.....love will come to you, don't expect to find it by looking for it yourself.

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i really love your threads creep, i can really relate to them. Well, I think you're in a bummer, there isn't much you can do. I know what you mean by just wanting to 'run away'.

Well just carry on being the good friend that you are, untill the day she leaves your life. Times like these will never come back, so make the most of it. Heck I wish I did. Too late now.

byz

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I'd cherish the relationship you have with her at the moment, you seem to both get on fantastic with each other, and enjoy doing things, so don't shy away 'cos your maybe thinking that you can't get what you want, let things develop naturally...

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it really does sound like you have very deep feelings for this girl. and u said she has a boyfriend right? it may seem strange that shed flirt with you so much, the playfullness you mentioned, but sometimes ppl just like the attention u know? for what its worth i think she does consider you to be a genuine friend and in that case i hope your friendship can continue long after youve finished school.

i would say that u should tell her hw you feel... but id understand if u had reservations about that

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I honestly just want to drop everything and just run till my legs fall off or my heads explodes, i want to get the hell out of here. I am getting nowhere with this girl and yet i "think" we are getting somewhere.

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But she is so nice and just is a beautiful person. When i am down, she WILL bring me up. Everytime. She treats me like a king. Gives me a ride from one side of the school to the other when clearly i can walk there but she insist. When i have a problem with something (like family) she will confort me and tell me how everything is alright. and i love that. LOVE IT.

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Man i admire you for being able to communicate with a girl, let things play along...u never know u could lose ur acne soon enough

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I really appretiate the positive comments this time, i guess you guys really know the situation im in.

About leting the relationship develope naturally, um i dont think it will ever be more than this unfortunetly. She has a man who supports her, gives her a home, the cloths she wears it may seem shallow to point those things out but i know for sure those are some of the reasons she has that boyfriend. But of course they do love each other.

I look at that and think, what the hell do i got to offer, ive mentioned this in posts before but yeah its true, honestly leaving him and dating me will be a huge step BACKWORDS for her. Im too young and inexperienced. He boyfriend has a great paying job and owns the house they live in.

But i can really see we were "meant" to be together the chemestry IS there, we get along as good as it gets.

Oh, and the "flirting" thing she does, i have come to the conclution for that, its just her background, her culture is just natuarlly "hand on" like that and very expressive though body language. But even still she just doesnt grab just anyones arm when walking down a set of steps for support like she does to me, even though we both know she doesnt have to do that. We sit very close in class and our knees will occasionally touch and just stay there, i see it in a romantic way.

Thanks "damn" for admiring me for being able to communticate with this girl, i impress myself at times. I was NEVER social at all, with ANYONE, before her. I went from a loner in the corner with his hair in his face to this guy with a gorgeous girl by his side telling jokes, in an instant. So yes definetly, she HAS changed me.

Competition. I dont think that was the right word to use. i dont know, i really believe he likes her cause she's beautiful and cause she talks to him when basically no one else will. But that also goes for me, i really dont talk to much people besides her. I really think i should branch out more but i hate to do that cause what i want is already here, im looking for just a "replacment" and not the real deal, like i got here.

Avelon "It sounds a little like stalking, but could be harmless. If you start to lay blame on her for not liking you or blame her when you are down, you might need to have a closer look at your motivations."

You know at first i believe i WAS stalking her, i talked to her once and i didnt want to let go from the start, and she didnt notice "ME" right away so i keeped looking for her, chased her if you will and i think it payed off. She really knows my personality now and appretiates me when im around.

But yeah i will defenitly charish the time we have together, actually today when she was giving me a ride to my car, we were listening to music and i said i have some music she might like and ill burn a cd for her and she was excited at the idea and asked me how she can pay me back, and i paused for a second and just said"no..you dont have to do anything for me" she then remembered that i told her im not doing so well in math and suggested to help me and be my tutor and frankly she has now gotten me excited about math. MATH! It never ends.

I did take some pictures of her but i really dont feel comfortable posting them here for some reason. Maybe i will one of these day but i dont know.

I just finished seeing her about an hour ago and wont again until tuesday morning. I really hate that gap in between. Thats what bugs me, the wait.

But you know what, i think it really help me to post here. I have all these things in my head and its a relief to let it out here and it kind of relexes me in a way. I just want someone to know how i feel and since i have no one, i post here.

My only worry now is making that cd for here and getting some stuff she likes.

I'll be posting here more than usual this weekend cause frankly i got nothing to do. So post away my friends.

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Dude, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything but I don't think you'll get her. I hope you do, but I was in exactly the same situation for a while (except she was single!) and I though I was getting somewhere. She always laughed at my jokes and smiled at me when we saw each other, even if we jsut passed in the hall. Then, one day, she called me in tears over some guy and I comforted her. She said that she wasn't beautiful, and I said that she was. She replied that it was easy for me to say, and I knew I was screwed.

Sound strange? Not really. Girls say things like that to their friends. DEFIDENTLY, their friends and ONLY their friends. If she had any interest in me sexually or as a BF, she wouldn't call me hot to my face. Never. So, we have a good friendship and we hang out all the time, but I'm never gonna get her and we both know it. We even joke about it.

See, girls are nervoused by guys who absolutly adore them and everything they do. It puts pressure on them to live up to those expectations, makes them feel self concious and confuses them. It also smothers them, and they need space to feel OK. It's tough to accept that the power of your feelings for someone is making them inaccesable, but it's often true. Try taking a more laid back approach. Don't try to be around her at all times. Don't always walk with her. You need to get her to think of you as just another guy, because she doesn't want her soul mate right now.

I hope this helps.

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Ahh man if she's living with her boyfriend that changes alot. I must have missed that. I don't want to be rude but it seems like you might be a little TOO into this girl. You are getting really worked up over her and it can't be good for your mental health. If you want a quick way to find out if she likes you in any way besides friendship tell her you're going out on a date with a girl you met somewhere ..etc...etc... Or just say that after class one day you're going to go help out a girl who wanted to study together for an exam or something. Just don't sound too excited about it. I know it's not cool to lie but you can tell instantly by her reaction whether or not she's jealous. Play a little hard to get with her and see if she takes the bait. If so maybe its about time you made a move. Careful not to get any pissed off boyfriends looking for you though.

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im a firm believer in straight to the point.. just bite the bullet and tell her how you feel. that way you can get all this muck off your chest and if she rejects you at least you can get on with your life and stop working yourself into a lather. no doubt all this extra testosterone flying around is playing havoc with your face so look at it this way, sort it out and look forward to happier skin. biggrin.gif

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Dude, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything but I don't think you'll get her.  I hope you do, but I was in exactly the same situation for a while (except she was single!) and I though I was getting somewhere.  She always laughed at my jokes and smiled at me when we saw each other, even if we jsut passed in the hall.  Then, one day, she called me in tears over some guy and I comforted her.  She said that she wasn't beautiful, and I said that she was.  She replied that it was easy for me to say, and I knew I was screwed.

Sound strange?  Not really.  Girls say things like that to their friends.  DEFIDENTLY, their friends and ONLY their friends.  If she had any interest in me sexually or as a BF, she wouldn't call me hot to my face.  Never.  So, we have a good friendship and we hang out all the time, but I'm never gonna get her and we both know it.  We even joke about it.

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