Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

im not dealing with my acne. i cant hold down a job... im probably going to lose my boyfriend because he cant understand why i keep disappearing all the time.. even the other night i stayed at his place and i lay there in the dark wide awake feeling like i had mutants in my face so i got my stuff and left at 2am. he isnt speaking to me at the moment.

i freak out over planning things too far ahead because i dont know what im going to look like from one day to the next. people think im eccentric and strange but really im just a normal person trapped inside this body that keeps erupting and driving me mad.

sometimes i just go to bed during the day so i can not think about it because every second i seem to be obsessing. i feel like i could sleep forever. and i hate looking at myself in the mirror.

i love the night time because i feel like i can hide and be safe from people really seeing me. people tell me im pretty but i feel like a hideous monster. sometimes i dont leave the house for days and i get so lonely.

if im having a good day, ill go out and have fun but i always feel like my time is limited. like im about to turn into a pumpkin and be locked away for weeks on end again.

it seems really superficial and wrong to be so wrapped up in appearance when there are people with much bigger issues suffering in the world but i just cant stop no matter how much self talking i do.

i guess i just want to talk to some people who understand what im on about because most people just dont get it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too love the night time and it is really the only time I go out to do my shopping and other bits and pieces, sometime I sit and think to myself this is no way to live hiding indoors when it is light outside but in all honestly at the moment there is no way I could go out in the daytime I just don't have the mental strength.

So don't think that your alone in your situation there is at least one person out there that feels the same and I suspect that there are a lot more, one piece of advice I offer is to explain to your boyfriend what’s going on in your head I sure he would understand and if he does not maybe he's not the one for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I spent 11 years with acne, and I can't even count the number of nights I spent hiding in my house. Last year I had a terrible break out with huge ones on my nose, but I still had to travel by train everyday and go to work, which has bright flourescent lights, and speak to people. It was like being in Hell. I've been pretty much clear for a while now after going on Dan's regimen, but I still have a fear of bright lights and rarely make eye contact with people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Vampire_Girl welcome to the forums!

I understand how you feel, I often times feel trapped and unprepared for any scenario myself.

You didn't mention anything about how your boyfriend sees you but it sounds to me like he really does care about you despite any flaws you may have with your skin. Is this true? If it is true, I don't think you have much to worry about when you're with him, I mean it shouldn't matter how bad your skin gets right? He's probably just upset that you are having some kind of problem and not discussing it, or at least thats what it seems like, I don't know what its really like of course...

When the world seems like its pitted against you it helps to have support, you came here looking for some support but I think you have something else that would help a lot too! You seem to have someone that cares about you enough, try talking to him about how you feel, if you haven't already.

I can honestly say I don't think I'm the best person to cheer someone up... But I think that despite what you may think of your appearance, you're a great person and you shouldn't feel so trapped because of it!

Hey keep on posting too if it helps, we'd love to hear from you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi, if you have a boyfriend and people tell you you are pretty, maybe that is because you are!! Sometimes we judge ourselves too harshly.

But I know how you feel.

I know it is comfortable to hide away in your house etc (cuz i am doing it too), but have you tried to get any meds?

yeh, welcome to the emo forum, please stick around, we are all in this together.

Polkadots

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow...it sounds like you exactly described me. I had an ex last year that couldn't understand why suddenly disappeared. There was just no way I felt like going out in public looking like that. Needless to say, things did not work out between us. My current boyfriend wonders why I do the same thing. I still haven't explained to him why I have, but I realized I need to change my ways and start living my life. But just recently he told me that he loves me no matter what...and I'm sure that includes my acne and all. lol. So I need to stop avoiding people and if someone really wants to be with me, they are there for me- not because of how my face looks. Its hard for me to believe him when he tells me I'm beautiful. But if someone tells you your pretty, say thank you and believe it! Hang in there and I'm sure we'll eventually figure out how to control it. I finally get to see my bf tomorrow after four weeks cause of winter break. My face looks pretty crappy, but I'm not gonna let it ruin my day.

If you need to talk some more about were here...or drop me a line sometime. I know those crazy days of isolation are lonely, especially since there are not many people who seem to understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know exactly where vampire girl is coming from. The amount of times I avoided leaving the house because of how I felt others would perceive my skin is countless. For years I wore hats in an attempt to hide my face and it got to the point where I felt I couldn't go on. Fortunately my girlfriend was really supportive the whole time and I have come through the worst of it, and speaking from experience it sounds as if you are allowing acne to build a wall between yourself and your boyfriend who obviously loves you very much. As an acne sufferer I understand that it's very difficult to listen to others who say 'there's nothing wrong with your skin', because what they dont understand is that acne can completely consume your whole life. It's important though not to push away those who are closest to you as their support is vital- although you may not see it yet.

I dont know if you have sought any medical advice or what your diet/lifestyle is like, but from my own experience diet was the key, along with proper supplementation.

I myself am by no means acne-free but because I have done research into why acne occurs I feel less helpless and more in control of my life again. Try not to lose perspective- it's an awful condition but it will clear and I promise you will be a stronger person because of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

dark lighting is great I think too, but I think you're being way to hard on yourself...like poka said, if you have a Bf, and people tell you you're pretty then I would guess that you probably are. I've seen plenty of Gorgeous girls with acne and it didn't bother me at all. My ex gf had mild acne too, and I thought she was the cutest girl I'd ever seen. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we are our harshest critics...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey and a big hugging and warm welcome Vamp!

Can I just say that ur boyfriend absolut-defnite-neeble-eeply doesn't care about ur acne, as he won't have confirmed his love you you if this wasn't the case; and also I'm pleased to hear that you're going to face the world, because if you can face people eye to eye without worrying so much about acne, have a laugh, and truly realise that people are more concerned about who you are, then when your acne begins to clear, you'll be so enormously full of confidence and will want to live life to the full. I hope that's how you'll feel whatever your skin looks like, and youenjoy your time with your boyfriend!

Peace, Godbless

c0rk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow... you guys are really really awesome.. i cant believe how sweet everyone here is!...

im not really sure if what i have with my bf is unconditional love.. but he does say things like "so what if you get a couple of pimples stop trying to be a front page bimbo".. which in my mind is pretty tactless.. and he doesnt even really see me when im having a BAD week.. and if it was "just a couple of pimples" why would i be complaining!!..

ive been on medication forever.. when one is working i might be fine for a while and then bam it all starts again and i swap over onto something else.. im pretty sure my stomach is like a rotted cavern now.

my diet is good.. i dont eat wheat or dairy.. but how many people say diet has nothing to do with it!! who knows..

with all the medications, eating right, using cleansers, picking, not picking, dont touch your face, natural remedies, hocus pocus blah blah blah its all one big exhausting mess which makes me want to scream eusa_wall.gif

but...

im trying to be positive at the moment... taking a leaf out of brandons book.. what a sweety.. thanks for the chat the other day youre ace!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Shjaker
i freak out over planning things too far ahead because i dont know what im going to look like from one day to the next.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
!!!!

I do that exact same thing!!! My friend wants to fly up and visit me on spring break, and in my heart I would love that more than anything in the world, but instead I say hell no, because who KNOWS what I'll look like a month from now.  sad.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I do that exact same thing!!! My friend wants to fly up and visit me on spring break, and in my heart I would love that more than anything in the world, but instead I say hell no, because who KNOWS what I'll look like a month from now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Shjaker
OMG that is my exact problem, my friend wants to visit me during March break,with her bf whom i have never met. that makes it even worse, its bad enough how i feel around guys i know but to have some stranger visit my house for a week is too scary im thinking of telling her no...plus she hasnt seen me like this since we havent seen each other since grade 9...3 years ago and i really dont want her to see me looking horrible. its bad enough to see my other  friends at school.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG don't you hate that. i have had friends that do all that shit too and have flawless skin cry.gif my friends used to drink ,smoke weed do drugs and everything and no zits wat so ever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah it really brings to mind the timeless question: WHY ME!?

I hate my friends some days, a few of mine also do drugs daily and they have this perfect skin...but you what gets me even more, when they have this TEENY TINY pimple somewhere on their face and they complain about it for the whole day and I'm standing there like UM HELLO...sometimes I just want to slap them!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Shjaker

Ugh! mad.gif I hate when people sit there, staring in their little makeup mirrors beside me, trying so desperately to cover a tiny pimple with makeup like its going to self destruct in their face if they don't.

I mean, no one likes a zit. But please just shut up when you're infront of me eusa_doh.gif

Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ugh!  I hate when people sit there, staring in their little makeup mirrors beside me, trying so desperately to cover a tiny pimple with makeup like its going to self destruct in their face if they don't.

I mean, no one likes a zit. But please just shut up when you're infront of me 

Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×