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Melchior

How severe acne has affected my life.

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First of all, I'd like to state that this is my first post. I'm not sure how posts of this nature are seen here, I suppose I just want to get things off my chest and get some response. That said...

I am 18 1/2 years old, and have suffered with severe acne since I was 10 or 11. After typing that last sentence it occurs to me that people may wonder how I let it go on for so long without help... I'm not exactly sure though.

Acne aside, I've been considered ugly by people since I was very young, probably since the first day of school, of course I can't remember back that far. I just can't remember looking good. In my early years of school I was the perfect example of what a nerd was, as stereotypes go; smart, shy, socially awkward. I never had any friends or spoke a word until around 4th grade as near as I can remember. After that I made a few friends that were vulgar and did illegal things. I stopped being their friends but then managed to never get any more friends for the rest of my life...

I also remember liking girls for as long as I can remember, memories that result from liking girls and looking bad are horrible indeed. So many sickened, pity looks from girls, a couple screams, even a fight (of course I didn't hit back). Acne only made things worse for me, I gave up on trying at that point. Of course everyone will say acne or my looks isn't whats holding me back, its my attitude they'll say. But honestly I've been happy at times, and acted positive without being fake - it didn't make a difference.

It's actually been a long time since I've said anything to people not counting family or co-workers. I can't even look people in the face because it makes me wonder how they think of me. I feel as though I will be the way I am now for the rest of my life, alone. I think I'm a pretty nice guy, although you can't tell from this (lengthy) post, I do listen to others' problems too.

I guess I'm just wondering if there really are people that could like me for who I am, could be with me, without getting expensive surgery and such. I also feel like I've missed out on so much already, and my inexperience with girls and life in general that came from being alone and isolated only compounds the issue. Even if I looked great I'd still be nervous about everything.

Anyways I'll end the post here, it has already gotten too long, and honestly I doubt people like these types of posts...

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Guest Zitro
I also feel like I've missed out on so much already, and my inexperience with girls and life in general that came from being alone and isolated only compounds the issue.  Even if I looked great I'd still be nervous about everything.

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I have the same problem, all i can say is just go on the regimen, follow it strictly and hope for the best. Im pretty sure that both of us (Im 19) will grow out of it by the time were in our mid 20s but years arent worth wasting. I feel that my acne will even clear within months because of the regimen and the success ive had with it so far, but if you dont think thats a solution then you should really consider accutane. I know there are a variety of annoying side affects but if i felt there was no hope with solving it another way, id hope on the accutane bus immediately.good luck with everything.

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Guest Amy Lee

Having acne doesn't necessarily equate to us males being unattractive to girls. Sure acne ruins our looks, but I know people who have no problems with dating, etc. they are basically confident, and I think that's one reason why girls love them, it's the personality. If you think girls mostly are into good looks, then why let them bother you? I'm pretty sure if you're a clear person right from the start and never suffered from acne all your life, you too wouldn't even think of liking them at all.

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Having acne doesn't necessarily equate to us males being unattractive to girls. Sure acne ruins our looks, but I know people who have no problems with dating, etc. they are basically confident, and I think that's one reason why girls love them, it's the personality. If you think girls mostly are into good looks, then why let them bother you? I'm pretty sure if you're a clear person right from the start and never suffered from acne all your life, you too wouldn't even think of liking them at all.

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"It's a cycle, people don't like me because I don't like myself and I don't like myself because people don't like me. False confidence wouldn't make people like me better."

Hi Melchoir,

Please, please, please don't feel down. Most people, men and women, will value personality over looks in a potential mate any day. I think that in modern American society, which is where I'm coming from, the image is valued over absolutely everything else, and I think that this is one of the cruelest, most foolish ideas ever to be perpetuated because people are not two-dimensional, immobile pictures that uncomplicatedly represent sex appeal, success, popularity, whatever. No one, no matter how beautiful, is going to be adored and worshipped by everyone. Looks are good for first impressions, but not for second and third and fourth and final "realizations" about a person.

And, another thing, finding a loving partner is hard, period, for everyone. I know that some might say "Well, when you look good, you have more possibilities," but increased possibilities does not directly translate into increased probability of having someone truly love and understand and care for you.

You said that people don't like you because you don't like yourself, and that you don't like yourself because other people don't like you; but, do you like other people? I definitely understand where you're coming from on this, and my best advice would be to handle each day calmly and say to yourself "Ok, today, I'm not going to worry about what others think of me, but I'm going to worry about what I think of other people. Are they funny? Are they kind? Are they compassionate? Do I want to get to know them?"

Please don't spend time worrying about how you are seen; think more about what you see, what makes you laugh, what you find beautiful, whether it's in school or in nature or in other people or in art, and the people that you are compatible with will filter through. You're only 18, and you have so much time ahead of you to create beautiful things, and become a beautiful person. Take what you can from what you have, and enjoy yourself.

Heart,

i.g.m.p.

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Hey bro - looks are not as important as your personality and delivery when it comes to meeting/nailing women. You will surprise yourself by having the balls to go mix it up with women in social situations. Back in my fraternity days we had great looking guys who had a lame rap and barely made it with the ladies. But there were plently of average/below average looking guys who surprised the shit out of us by picking up girls when they went after it.

You need the love, but stewing in your despair won't help you. I'll bet some of the ladies on this board go out and would probably be impressed with you if you struck up a conversation with them in a bar etc. Women will appreciate your aggressiveness when they realize you can overcome your minor handicap.

Just do it brother. I'll but you your first beer. Let's go. It's a big world out there. You will find someone. Amen

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Guest OnlyJoe

wow this is an old post, so how do you feel now? compared to that first post melchior?

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"It's a cycle, people don't like me because I don't like myself and I don't like myself because people don't like me. False confidence wouldn't make people like me better."

Hi Melchoir,

Please, please, please don't feel down. Most people, men and women, will value personality over looks in a potential mate any day. I think that in modern American society, which is where I'm coming from, the image is valued over absolutely everything else, and I think that this is one of the cruelest, most foolish ideas ever to be perpetuated because people are not two-dimensional, immobile pictures that uncomplicatedly represent sex appeal, success, popularity, whatever. No one, no matter how beautiful, is going to be adored and worshipped by everyone. Looks are good for first impressions, but not for second and third and fourth and final "realizations" about a person.

And, another thing, finding a loving partner is hard, period, for everyone. I know that some might say "Well, when you look good, you have more possibilities," but increased possibilities does not directly translate into increased probability of having someone truly love and understand and care for you.

You said that people don't like you because you don't like yourself, and that you don't like yourself because other people don't like you; but, do you like other people? I definitely understand where you're coming from on this, and my best advice would be to handle each day calmly and say to yourself "Ok, today, I'm not going to worry about what others think of me, but I'm going to worry about what I think of other people. Are they funny? Are they kind? Are they compassionate? Do I want to get to know them?"

Please don't spend time worrying about how you are seen; think more about what you see, what makes you laugh, what you find beautiful, whether it's in school or in nature or in other people or in art, and the people that you are compatible with will filter through. You're only 18, and you have so much time ahead of you to create beautiful things, and become a beautiful person. Take what you can from what you have, and enjoy yourself.

Heart,

i.g.m.p.

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First of all, I'd like to state that this is my first post.  I'm not sure how posts of this nature are seen here, I suppose I just want to get things off my chest and get some response.  That said...

I am 18 1/2 years old, and have suffered with severe acne since I was 10 or 11.  After typing that last sentence it occurs to me that people may wonder how I let it go on for so long without help...  I'm not exactly sure though.

Acne aside, I've been considered ugly by people since I was very young, probably since the first day of school, of course I can't remember back that far.  I just can't remember looking good.  In my early years of school I was the perfect example of what a nerd was, as stereotypes go;  smart, shy, socially awkward.  I never had any friends or spoke a word until around 4th grade as near as I can remember.  After that I made a few friends that were vulgar and did illegal things.  I stopped being their friends but then  managed to never get any more friends for the rest of my life...

I also remember liking girls for as long as I can remember, memories that result from liking girls and looking bad are horrible indeed.  So many sickened, pity looks from girls, a couple screams, even a fight (of course I didn't hit back).  Acne only made things worse for me, I gave up on trying at that point.  Of course everyone will say acne or my looks isn't whats holding me back, its my attitude they'll say.  But honestly I've been happy at times, and acted positive without being fake - it didn't make a difference.

It's actually been a long time since I've said anything to people not counting family or co-workers.  I can't even look people in the face because it makes me wonder how they think of me.  I feel as though I will be the way I am now for the rest of my life, alone.  I think I'm a pretty nice guy, although you can't tell from this (lengthy) post, I do listen to others' problems too.

I guess I'm just wondering if there really are people that could like me for who I am, could be with me, without getting expensive surgery and such.  I also feel like I've missed out on so much already, and my inexperience with girls and life in general that came from being alone and isolated only compounds the issue.  Even if I looked great I'd still be nervous about everything.

Anyways I'll end the post here, it has already gotten too long, and honestly I doubt people like these types of posts...

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I'm in the same boat.

I've had acne ever since I was 9 years old. It's not fun to be the only kid in elementary school that has acne all over his face.

I've had random people, people I've never even spoken to before, come up to me and say things like:

"Whats wrong with your face?"

"Ew, you really need to wash your face more"

"Wow kid, you've got a lot of pimples! It's disgusting!"

I've had countless girls talk about me in classes, thinking I cant hear them. Saying things like "ew have you seen [myname] face today, that kid is fuckin ugly!"

It got so bad that one day I just stopped going to highschool. I failed all my classes and just quit for a while.

I've had my 7 year old cousin laugh at me about it, and when my little sister was 3 years old she asked me

"What are all those polkadots?"

I took accutane for 6 months last year, and it worked very well. The problem is that 3 months after I had finished the course (Last month in April), it started to come back. It's still coming back, and it gets worse and worse every day.

When I scheduled a doctors appointment to try to get accutane again, it looked pretty bad. I made the appointment a week from that day. When I finally arrived at the doctors office, my acne calmed down quite a bit, and the doctor wouldn't give me accutane because it "wasn't bad enough"

Now I'm stuck waiting until it gets "bad enough" before I can do something about it. Meanwhile I sit here pissed off that I'm wasting my life away on this bullshit.

Like you, acne isn't my only problem. Even when I was relatively clear after accutane, (I still had some obvious scars and red marks, it wasn't perfect skin by far) I was still the same trainwreck that I've always been, but I was doing my best to change.

Now I'm right back where I started, and I need to fix this problem FIRST before I even attempt to fix anything else.

As the old saying goes, "Life's a bitch and then you die."

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Dude, WTF? Smart people aren't nerds, nerds are people with ugly clothes and bad haicuts, apart from that they look funny. People who are smart; preppy, involved, and always looking like a million bucks...be a 'pimp', like the smart G, who can do it all.

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