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Hello, i'm going to open up a little bit here.

I'm finding it hard to objectively evaluate my skin and how it looks. I know that i have red marks and that some of them have very small scars. I wake up and don't really notice that i have any scarring, just red marks, but then every single night i manage to discover at least 10 scars on my face and hate them. Ten minutes later i look again and laugh at myself thinking "Ha, you can hardly even see them". Then i'll look again 10 minutes later and practically cry at the sight of the copius amount of deep scars i can see all of a sudden.

I understand i may have some sort of body dysmorphia. I'm also anorexic and have a lot of problems with fainting etc from not eating enough. Yet sometimes i can stand in front of a mirror for hours thinking i'm fat. What makes this hardest, is that i have an anxiety disorder, so seeing a dermatologist is something i'd find near impossible.

I was wondering if anyone could tell me and objective way of determining if a red marks is a scar or not. If it is a scar, would i be able to feel it? I'd post a picture... but even they don't seem good at showing what another humans eye would see. After all, that's what i'm most concerned about.

I've come to terms with knowing i'm not fat, because i have had numerous threats of being taken to an anorexia institution. I still often think i look fat, but have accepted that i'm not.

I guess i would just like some objective way of telling if i have any scarring at all or not. I'm scared to ask people, since i know they'll either lie, or tell me the truth. Most probably lie, and somehow i fear the truth. That makes this thread quite pointless, but i feel stuck otherwise. Sometimes i feel happy with myself, other times i want to die and i'd just like to step into someone elses shoes for a minute to see exactly how i look to them. What's noticable and what's not.

This was just me rambling on.... i didn't know what else to do, but thanks for reading... if anyone bothered. Also, maybe i can read this back to myself tomorrow and at least realise i have a perception problem.

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How bad your acne looks to you is all relative to your mind state. If you stare at your acne for an hour it's going to look like a festering pile of dog shit. On the other hand, if you glance in the mirror for a minute and just look at YOU (not your acne) you will be like "Damn, who is that sexy mofo?" At least that's how I am anyways.

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Frogs i feel exactly the same way you feel...I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder if the way i see myself in the mirror is really the way other people see me. I have even tried looking at other people through mirrors and observing their skin to see how the mirror really reveals scars and acne. And I also will look at myself in the mirror and be like damn I looking good and then ill come back to that same mirror and feel totally opposite. In the past I have always been a even keel person. Not too high not too low. But now it seems like i go through these crazy mood swings. I wouldn’t call it manic depression, but its still taking a toll on my body. I just got to stay hopeful and look to the future.

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sometimes, mirrors can really suck

and by the way, skin does look better in the morning, when you just wake up, it looks so even and fresh, i wish it could stay like that for the rest of the day

post-8527-1105503854_thumb.jpg

post-8527-1105503854_thumb.jpg

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