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Guest lawnboy

Confidence...

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Guest lawnboy

I am fairly new to this site. I joined several days ago and reading the messageboards has helped me alot over the past few days. Hearing about how other people cope with acne, and about how others still seem to be accepted has boosted my confidence a little. I have read here a lot that having confidence can help people overcome acne, but confidence is one thing I don't seem to have. I have never been very popular or (in my opinion) looked good or handsome. I have been skinny and scrawny all of my life and had acne for a fair amount of time. People seem to notice right off how skinny I am. Comments on my scrawniness come out very soon after I first meet someone and it is very common in my school to hear others comment on how skinny I am. I have not been very confident about myself and what I can do because of this and acne makes things much much worse. I wake up and think here comes another lovely day... I just want to hide and not let anyone see me. Whenever I talk to someone all I think about is what they are seeing. I can't get past thinking that they might think I am weird or gross looking or ugly. I have no confidence when it comes to girls. There is one girl I would really like to ask out but I can never find the confidence to ask her... I have no friends and I never go to any social events or dances. I would really like to go out and have fun but whenever I think about myself I just get depressed and think why bother? nobody likes me, I can't have fun... I can't live like this... I wish I could find a way to get my mind off my appearances and get some more confidence... I wish I knew what other people actually thought of me so I would be so paranoid and anxious and nervous about what people might think. If I had more confidence I think I could create an image for myself and have a better life, but I can't seem to be confident about myself.

How does everyone here keep their confidence and spirit up in face of this nasty disease? is it as difficult as it is for me? I wish I knew why my life has to be like this...

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Everyone is ugly, and many people you meet think the way you do. Next time you talk to someone, try to notice where they're imperfect. Even the hottest girl in the world has something wrong with her. We're all human. The only difference is, people who appear confident, have mastered the art of being fake. And that's not a bad thing - it's essential to survival. Life is all a theater anyway. Check out these books: http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php...topic=38596&hl= they change your mindset and teach you how to function in our society.

Good luck!

seriously.. check out the books, they totally open your mind, and you understand everything people around you do. You feel empowered, and you become happy.. no bullshit..

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Guest OnlyJoe

"People who appear confident, have mastered the art of being fake"

Thats me

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Guest lawnboy

thanks for the advice... I think i'll check out those books, i'd like to think i might be able to at least appear confident... I'll try it

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Please don't give up.

I really do know how you feel. Really...I do. Bottom line-acne ruined the best years of my life. I'm only 20, but emotionally, the pain that acne caused me over the last 12 years of my life makes me feel as if I'm 40 mentally. I'll keep my story short.

I was one of those unlucky ones that began breaking out at the age of 8. It got progressively worse as the years went on. I visited derms, tried pills, creams, OTC crap, everything. I tried to ignore the breakouts as best as I could-everything was always fine in my life...I had a group of great friends, a wonderful family, I was always academically successful. I was never an outgoing person, but I wouldn't call myself a recluse either. My bad skin was always on my mind, but I learned to cope. That is, until my freshman year of college.

I was accepted to a very prestigious university...but at the same time I should have began to discover myself, make new friends, and experience the "best years of my life," my acne started to take over my self-esteem. I couldn't look at myself anymore. I felt that my face was one huge breakout. I felt like I was committing a sin by parading myself around others...I couldn't even look anyone in the eyes. I began to shut down, rarely came out of my dorm room, spent the entire year in agony and misery. I felt no one understood my pain. How could they? They hadn't gone through what I'd gone through for the past decade of my life. The emotional toll of acne finally caught up with me-and I crashed. In short-I was depressed.

When I returned home that summer, my family noticed that something was very wrong. I finally broke down and told my mother that I couldn't take it anymore. I was not going to let acne ruin my life anymore.

I knew what accutane was-heck, I had been researching it for the past five years. I went to a new dermatologist, vowing that I would get an accutane prescription, even if it took everything I had. When I stepped into the office, the first thing he said, even without asking why I had come, is if I had ever tried accutane. That was the moment I knew it must have been really bad if he was suggesting it outright.

Long story short-I completed my 5 month treatment 2 months ago, and I have never looked better. I transferred to a school closer to home in an effort to "start over."

All isn't happy in my life just yet, though. I struggle, everyday, to regain the confidence I lost 10 years ago. I have no doubt it in mind that had I taken care of my skin problem earlier, I would have turned out to be a different, more confident person today.

Bottom line if you're still reading-if you have bad acne, to the point where you are depressed, please go do something about it. The earlier the better. My one regret is not asking for the accutane years ago, so that the pain I suffered would not have lasted for such a long time.

To parents, if you're reading this-high school/college is tough. The world today is a cruel, appearance driven place. Accutane is a wonderful drug that, if taken under medical supervision, can change a person's life. Don't let your child go through what I went through.

Acne sucks-believe me, I'd know. Do not lose hope. There are cures out there. We are all beautiful people, inside and out. Have faith. Thanks for reading.

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Guest lawnboy

Thanks AllIsGood, it feels good to at least be able to tell others how I feel. I'd thought about telling a peer of mine, but I don't believe they'd understand. I've thought about accutane, but i've heard it is expensive and i don't believe my parents would let me try it. They seem to think that if I just used OTC meds and washed my fase and did everything the doctor tells me etc that my Acne would be gone in no time... The meds I have now are easier to take than the one i've had, I used to take a pill that really restricted when I could eat and that was brutal. I have a job on weekdays and it seemed like the only meal i could eat was breakfast... I eventually gave it up and canceled my derm appointments I have only recently started to go back after about 6 months... The meds i have now just seem to be drying my face up and making my skin feel more uncomfortable than before... Any tips on handling the dry skin?

Anyways, thanks alot for yor advice and giving me a little bit of hope, i appreciate it...

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Guest OnlyJoe

impressive first post Allisgood!

welcome.

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hey lawnboy...

most of us went through this... do not worry... people here have posted a lot of good advice. I cant help but not to add that Jesus loves you AS YOU ARE.... and you have been paid for with his blood.........

So chin up and smile!

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Here is my advice, please use it. The first thing you have to realise is that you didn't create yourself. So you can't blame yourself for having acne nor being skinny. No one in the world has created themselves, so they cant be blamed on the way they look, remember that. You have to embrase what you were given, I know it might not seem much to you, but it can alway be woarse. REMEMBER: IT CAN ALWAYS BE WOARSE. For example, even if you are skinny you still have legs to walk on and lungs to breath with. So take what you have in life and make the most of it.

I know acne can destroy your self confidence, but don't let it do that. You have to realise that when people have eye contact with you, they don't look at your skin, but you eyes. Thats why it's called eye contact. Also take note that having acne, being ashamed of your acne and being unconfident is woarse than just having acne alone. Straighten your neck and look up to the world, it's not your fault you have acne. Don't go and crawl into holes because of it, because then they desease has won.

We are all humanbeings with social and confidence issues. All of us have something we don't like about our bodies. Go test it out, ask your friends what they don't like about themselves. Ask anyone on the street what they don't like about themselves and you will get an answer. We as humans are so foolish that we would rather concentrate on the negative than possitive. And in most cases there is less negative than positive, so why not just concentrate on the possitive.

Here is my list of positive and negative points:

Positive:

*Brilliant mind

*Healthy

*Fit body(bit skinny aswell but who cares)

*Good set of teeth

*Nice height

*Nice hair

Negative:

*Acne

umm................ can't think of anything else really

i'm a bit skinny but thats not an issue for me

So there you can see, I only have one point that is really negative, only one. Why should I worry about it , when I have so many other good attributes.

Go ahead make that list yourself and see what I mean. YOu should be greatfull for what you have. I hope this could make a difference in your life.

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