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Metamorphosis

i had finally got rid of my acne. it felt great; free. All the pain I felt back in the ninth grade was gone now in gr. 10. Let's face it, im a teenager and not seeing a single person in my school with acne made me feel so isolated. in previous years i was overweight but i got into good shape by high school. Then the acne came, and so i have never had a girlfriend nor felt any amount of confidence. i do well in my classes, i have a great family... i would have been happy if it werent for acne. but after seeing my doc, i got rid of it in a few months with bp and mino. and i was happy.

i went from overweight -> good shape with acne -> good shape and no acne.

i started to get close with a girl i really liked. i was making more friends and actually doing better in school. a little confidence can go a long way. although i have perennially been the shy guy so i hadn't worked up the nerve to ask the girl out yet. grade 11 i would do it, that was my goal.

then during the summer before the return to school, my acne came back and bp with mino could do nothing for it this time round.

Pariah

The first day back i saw my friends and they didn't seem to care that once again i had acne. It made feel a little better. I still couldn't bare to be there, in all of my new classes surrounded by so many people. My last class was math and she was in it. She saw me, i looked away. we didnt speak till the next week. im not sure if she was surprised, repulsed (not like her, she's too nice) or complacent about my condition. as a teen i think im always being judged when im probably not, but it's in our nature.

as the weeks went by i started talking to her again, walking her home, chatting on msn. my friends and i were hanging out like usual. all the while i was desperately searching for a cure. special diet, over-the-counter drugs, cleansers,etc. Finally i went on accutane, the so-called cure. Acne was hurting me worse than the ninth grade because i was over it before. why did it come back? i thought god was trying to teach me lesson. help me to become more sensitive towards others, help me deal with stress better or something.

i felt alone, and i stayed alone as much as i could. with family problems, difficulties with math (the whole class was failing, its ridiculously hard) and this whole acne thing i was in pain. all i had to look forward to was accutane finally saving me as promised.

Exile

Hope dies last; Rome wasn't built in day; life only gives to you what it thinks you can handle; it's all a part of growing up; patience.

all these expressions keep running through my head. 12 weeks later, the accutane is helping but im not there yet. im trying to have fun with friends, my marks are going up, family issues mostly resolved. i feel like im close to something good.

i will ask her out before june. that is my resolution. i will get over all of this. like a pheonix rising from the ashes. until then, i shall stay alone, out of sight and out of mind - dont worry im used to it.

to be continued...

thanks for reading, its quite long i guess, but all dramas are.

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Not long at all. I actually found your story to be very eloquently worded.

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I had a period where my skin completely cleared up, and about a year later, it was back with a vengeance. And I have nodulocystic acne, which is particularly unsightly and mentally debilitating.

But you sound like you know your basic shit already, and to be honest, it sounds like you don't really need any encouragement. Of course your friends didn't care that you had acne! None of my friends has ever made a single comment about it, unless we were involved in a practical discussion on the subject. I'm sure that your friends are the same.

The fact is that I really don't notice acne, even bad acne, unless I pay close attention, and I feel that most people are the same. Acne is a common problem and it is not an unusual sight. You said that you didn't see a single person in your school with it. Dude, wake up, this is fucking high school. Nearly everyone has acne to some degree. It's because, as I mentioned, most people don't notice it unless they pay close attention.

And about the girl thing... there's no need to be shy. I'm sure she doesn't give two shits in a handbasket about your acne. So just ask her out! Don't be afraid of rejection. Even if she says no, it's not like she's going to exclaim "EEEEWWW, GET AWAY ZIT-FACE." And chances are, you won't have to face that rejection! Just be confident. Girls find men with confidence highly attractive. In many instances, it is more important than physical appearance.

So buck up!

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lol, ur probaly right about others having acne, im not the type to notice.

i will ask her out. when, i dont know. i'll keep updating tho b/c i might just go with ur advice.

thnx

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Guest OnlyJoe

be quick, you dont wanna hit the friend barrier (if it exists and hasnt just been used to reject me lol)

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Thank you. I try.

No use in calling me a moron, btw. It was intended to be a "joke" that plays upon the "stereotypical chauvnistic male." Christ, come on. I have many female platonic "friends," some of which I have no urge to "fuck."

Now let's not ruin the man's thread any further, k? K.

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I really liked your opening post, you sound like a great guy and I can relate to what you say.

Goodluck with asking the girl out, I know i oculd never do it. Please tell us how it goes!

byz

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yeah i'll make a new thread talking about how it all turns out. i have no idea what will happen but right now i'm just trying to relax a little and forget about all of this stress.

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