Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

I am 17, and have had acne for 7 or so years. Every year, it just gets worst. My initial breakouts were on my forehead. Then, as years pass, they travel to my cheeks. Now, even my jawline has acne. I have had ups and downs from severe to mild. Currently, I have mild acne. I don't mind my acnes that much anymore as they're not that obvious right now, but it is my scars! My scars and redmarks! I envy those of you with mild or moderate or any kind of acne, but no scars. The vinegar and water method has slowly been clearing me up, but only opened another gate of hell - presenting the trails of acne. Why is this happening to me? I am 17. I am in high school and why did I get this curse in at this time, the supposedly best four years of adolescense, I lost it, missed it, because of acne. Why can't I stop it, prevent it, cure it. I have had used many medications and topicals and etc etc etc, but it just does not want to go away, but rather, becomes worst. It's spreading on my face like an epidemic. Leaving its trails in forms of scars. And now, it makes it even worse. Now, my hope to see my face cleared up is gone, because at that time, I will yet see another face - a face with permanent defects, unable for myself to prevent it, control it, cure it - a face even worse than acne. My dream of living a happy life is gone because no one likes me, no one would even want to go near me because of my acne. Rolling scars, Ice-picks, all over my cheeks. Red marks, brown marks, all over my face. I wouldn't mind red marks. I wouldn't mind zits. I wouldn't mind bumps. Scars, I do. I just wished, when I was 10 years old, the years when my acne just started, I just wish, that I had the knowledge of not picking them, not popping them, not scratching, or scrubbing as hard as I can just hope that it would make them fall of my skin - it's just, it's just, I want them gone! I want them gone! I wanted to peel them off, scrub them off, make them fall of my face. I thought they were just something that was stuck to my face, not grown from. I was a kid, so what do I know? I am the eldest, and am the first to get acne, so what do I know? There's no one that could give me advice. I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would just make them fall off my skin and bring back my normal skin. I had a good skin. Had. People back in the third world country I lived in complimented me by my white, smooth, soft, baby skin. That was when I had no acne - when this curse has yet touched me. When this disease has... I really don't want to live anymore. All those picking, all those scrubbing, all those stupid things I have done - now I look at myself, and cry about how stupid I am. I am mad at my stupidity, at my carelessness. But what could I have done? I was a child. I was a child who was once complimented and envied, receiving this unknown gift form Hell. I didn't know the source, how and why it's there. I had no doctor. I had no dermatologist. I had parents, but parents who keep telling me to keep on washing my face and sleep more. Wash my face more? Sleep more? Those were ineffective, but rather, effective into irritating my skin more. Now, I am 17. I just wish that I could bring back time, and with all the knowledge I have right now, I could have taken care of my skin better. Now, even though I have found the almost perfect method to clear my acne, I don't feel happy, or excited that one day, I would once again, see myself with a clear face, because at that time, I would see myself scarred. I don't want to live in this world anymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Avelon. You have helped me both on my poem, and this one. Thanks again. But wow, $9000! I am still 17, and do not have a job, and almost going to college. Even if I get a job, I don't think I will be able to afford that still.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really really can't do anything right now, and all I did was express the feelings inside me. No matter what I do, no matter how much I type, no matter how much I cry, no matter how much I pray, or wish, or wait, these scars are within me, and will never go away. well, until I get $9000

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's just, there's nothing really anyone can do here. This isn't really like a problem that's moldable, like inner emotional problem. This is something physical that's constantly affecting my inner self. Until my red marks, and my scars disappear, I can't live a normal life. What I wish is to live inside a bubble and not go out, or show myself to anyone else. i really want to quit school and stay out, or just disappear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks Avelon. You have helped me both It's just, there's nothing really anyone can do here. This isn't really like a problem that's moldable, like inner emotional problem. This is something physical that's constantly affecting my inner self. Until my red marks, and my scars disappear, I can't live a normal life. What I wish is to live inside a bubble and not go out, or show myself to anyone else. i really want to quit school and stay out, or just disappear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's funny how sometimes, I forget about my acne and I am out there with the people talking to them, and then, in an instant, I remember that there's a sun out there making my acne visible, and then I just slowly and slowly back off. In our classes, I sit on the corner where no one would be able to see my face.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But whatever, goodnight you all. Thanks Avelon. Is there any other fix besides going to a $9000 surgery? I mean, my scars are like the sample on the Scar Forum FAQ. The Ice pick type. However, they bother me and make me want to kill myself. I just looked myself in the mirror today and that instantly made me depressed so I just made this topic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
But whatever, goodnight you all. Thanks Avelon. Is there any other fix besides going to a $9000 surgery? I mean, my scars are like the sample on the Scar Forum FAQ. The Ice pick type. However, they bother me and make me want to kill myself. I just looked myself in the mirror today and that instantly made me depressed so I just made this topic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i know some of my guy friends have acne just as bad as yours, and worse scars, and the thing is, i still love them because they are such wonderful people. you need to get out there and show them what your made of! you are a great person with a fantastic personality, you need to just put your acne aside and say, im here, im alive ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND I AM GOING TO KICK SOME ARSE!!! i know its hard, i have had acne for 5 years and its beginning to go away and im only just starting to wear colors other than black, but you need to realize that conceited arses have no clue what its like and their opinion does not matter, its yours! also, maybe just dont look in the mirror, your skin doesnt reflect who you are, and i didnt look in the mirror for 6 months and i am happier and more confident knowing that my appearance doesnt matter as long as i am nice to people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mate, I am in the same shoes as you. I have nothing to live for. I just want it all to end. Life is a bitch, it is unfair, we do not deserve this. We shouldnt have to unload heavy cash to get dermabrasions or facials done, when alot of people dont ever have to waste a single cent on a skincare product ever. I am so envy of them, so jealous. It is not fair. Even if there was some sort of balance between people with acne and ones without, it would make life more enjoyable and happier. But every where I go now, I see so many people with clear skin. Im sure 99/100 of thsoe people never even had a single zit or skin irritation before in their life, let alone a bunch of red marks or scars. Instead of worrying aout theirskin and the way they look, and having to spend all this time and money on doing certain personal skin regimens, they can just live life without even thinking about their skin, and have full confidence all the time 27/7, every day of life, every second, every place they go.

Life sucks what can I say...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm usually not depressed. I am always an energetic and enthusiastic guy, and it builds up everyday, until I look at the mirror. I have kinda rolling scars on my cheeks. I don't really know the extent of it since it's stained with red/brown marks. My marks were so distinct before that it covered my scars, and that I thought I didn't have any so I was happy. Now that my redmarks are fading kinda, from the vinegar and lemon technique, the marks are showing up sad.gif. It's sad because there are only very few people in our school that have the same as mine. I've seen two of my classmates that's worser than mine. They make me feel better, lol, but really, it doesn't change the fact that I have scars. I am 17. Will these scars eventually disappear? I really hope so.

It sucks how I only have mild to moderate acne, but their existence over the years, little by little, scars my face. Guess what that does over the period of 5 years. I am soo stupid. Why did I keep on picking them?! Damn. I was really really stupid. DAMN.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mate, I am in the same shoes as you.  I have nothing to live for.  I just want it all to end.  Life is a bitch, it is unfair, we do not deserve this.  We shouldnt have to unload heavy cash to get dermabrasions or facials done, when alot of people dont ever have to waste a single cent on a skincare product ever.  I am so envy of them, so jealous.  It is not fair.  Even if there was some sort of balance between people with acne and ones without, it would make life more enjoyable and happier.  But every where I go now, I see so many people with clear skin.  Im sure 99/100 of thsoe people never even had a single zit or skin irritation before in their life,  let alone a bunch of red marks or scars.  Instead of worrying aout theirskin and the way they look, and having to spend all this time and money on doing certain personal skin regimens, they can just live life without even thinking about their skin, and have full confidence all the time 27/7, every day of life, every second, every place they go. 

Life sucks what can I say...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Damn. DEFINITELY the best post I've ever read on this forum so far. I hate it so much when I see people with 100% clear skin! It makes me want to bash my head against a wall (which I usually do), especially when they say shit like "oh, my skin has always been this way". Fuckers..... eusa_wall.gif Oh well what can we do? The answer is simple, just put more cash in the acne-treatment market's pockets to buy cleansers, lotions and medications that don't work.

Anyway jan carlo, I hope you feel better. There are many people that feel your pain, including me. Hopfully one day we will all be cured of this shit

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi all

obsessed, I can see why you are angry but you shouldn't get so resentful of those with clear skin?

Carlo, me and obssessed are in the same boat as you. I am similar in the fact that the main problem is scarring. My derm said my WHOLE face has severe scars, no bit left unmarked. Basically I am quite young like you and have had it once around the same age as you too. I also can't affrod any treatment.

There is no escape from the scars. I don't care what people say, they don't fade if they are severe. You just gotta live with it and hope you don't end up too screwed like me. You gotta fight it man or you'll end up a bitter tangerine like me!

Byz

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Amy Lee

When you said you hate life and don't wanna live anymore, it's like saying you're looking for this world to change and be perfect, which is impossible I should say. I believe all people went through this same stage at one point or another in their lives, wanting to end their lives and rest in peace forever, no just you. I know I can be a bit selfish when all my problems is centered on acne and only one thing, acne. But after sitting it down, thinking over it, I then realize more people have worse troubles and problems than I do, they are far unfortunate, and that I should be thankful enough still for that.

What I'm trying to say is, don't let acne end you, or end your life. Sure acne is a problem, a serious major problem, but others have worse ones and they are able to get through. Hope they set as an inspiring example for us to follow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest WhyGOD111
Mate, I am in the same shoes as you.  I have nothing to live for.  I just want it all to end.  Life is a bitch, it is unfair, we do not deserve this.  We shouldnt have to unload heavy cash to get dermabrasions or facials done, when alot of people dont ever have to waste a single cent on a skincare product ever.  I am so envy of them, so jealous.  It is not fair.  Even if there was some sort of balance between people with acne and ones without, it would make life more enjoyable and happier.  But every where I go now, I see so many people with clear skin.  Im sure 99/100 of thsoe people never even had a single zit or skin irritation before in their life,  let alone a bunch of red marks or scars.  Instead of worrying aout theirskin and the way they look, and having to spend all this time and money on doing certain personal skin regimens, they can just live life without even thinking about their skin, and have full confidence all the time 27/7, every day of life, every second, every place they go. 

Life sucks what can I say...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Amy Lee
i would shoot myself in the head now if i had a gun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

im very envious of people with clear skin i would love to have it, i watch what i eat i wash every day ,my boyf hardly washes his face,eats shit drinks and smokes,GUESS WHAT PERFECT SKIN!!!!! argh eusa_wall.gif .

lucky i love him or i might kill him for being to bloody clear

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all, for those of you still in highshool, it sucks. Clear skin or not, I think that highschool sucks. And I did have moderate acne in highschool(Im now 24, mild acne), no one comented on it or anything, but it made me sit in the corner too. BUT when I got out of highschool, and out of the corner, I realized that I hadn't missed out on much, and that those 4 years are NOT the best years of our lives. I also have scars, although moderate and not sever. But when I quit being so damn self conscious(sorry, bad speller!), I had a lot of fun. I mean A LOT of fun! Im not saying that I don't worry about my skin, I do, but nothing like I used to. I have also been suicidal, not about my skin though. And I know that sucks too. But one thing to remember is that the average person lives to be 80 or so, and 4 years of dealing with hormonal teens is nothing compared to the enjoyment you will have durring the rest of your life. I now have 2 beautiful children, and if I had ended it when I wanted to, they wouldn't be here right now, and I may be a bit too prideful, but I don't think the world would be the same without them biggrin.gif

Another thing I have to point out is that people with real problems have real friends. If you have good friends, and decide that the marks on your face do not decide who you get to be, then things will work out for you! Suicide is a very permenant decision for a very temperary problem. Im not saying that your scars are going to dissapear, but your attitude may change, and you will come out of the corner and live your life. Dont worry what others think, just remember that they have problems too, and maybe a lot worse problems that they are keeping inside.

Keep your head up!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×