Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

This was taken from a wonderfully insightful member of Clearskin.net. I suppose that this is what it must feel like for some of you when you hear us constantly at odds with each other....

After an extensive archival search and years of personal trial and tribulation, this author has indeed found a cureâ€â€yes, a cureâ€â€for acne; including, but not limited to, severe cystic acne. The plan is comprehensive, but for ease of use it will be highlighted in the following categories: diet, cleansing, lifestyle.

FOODS to avoid: anything sweetened artificially, anything sweetened naturally, including south Balinese muskmelons harvested on the vernal equinox, but those aren’t safe either; any animal products once living, or previously alive, or vice-versa; any green vegetables; any non-green vegetables in the shade of off-white are safe, though only if picked between the hours of 6:15 a.m. and 6:22 a.m. on October 14, and then only if thoroughly rinsed in mineral water which has passed through molten rock, and only if that rock is iodine free; non-white fish is to be avoided, as is any non non-white fish, though trout is safe if caught by hand on Sundays before noon; potatoes, red beans, and leeks will not exacerbate acne if boiled for thirty minutes, though boiling is not to exceed thirty-one minutes, or 1,860 seconds, or whichever comes first; fresh juice is cleansing and allowed if it is harvested by union labor with national health insurance, though daily intake should not exceed two liters, nor should it be less than 2,000 milliliters, or whichever is greater; soda is allowed, though consumption is punishable by twenty years, or 7,300 days, in prison, whichever is greater, and not accounting for leap-year; non-sweetened lemon water has been known to lessen the severity of non-visible scalp acne in rodents, though a second study proved inconclusive.

CLEANSING tips and MEDICINE: non-abrasive cleansers produced by non-union labor are non-comedogenic, but only if purchased on sale; abrasive scrubs and cleansers are lethal and will produce hemorrhaging and death within minutes; washing with a mild cleanser and warm water is recommended, again, only if the water is iodine-free; suggested mild cleansers include, but are not limited to the following: Nature’s Heaven Oatmeal Soap, though this product was discontinued in 1928; OTC products containing benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acid are beneficial, though may result in projectile vomiting, erectile dysfunction, Parkinson’s disease, and short-term memory loss, and short term-memory loss, and short-term memory loss; vitamin B5 (or pantothenic acid, or “that really big pill�) has been to known to completely cure moderate acne in the goat-herders of northern Kazakhstan, though studies have not been replicated; zinc has strong antibacterial properties and has been effective in treating blackheads, though it has been known to cause copper deficiencies; excessive copper intake can, however, lead to chromium imbalance, which does nullify the effects of zinc; antibiotics such as tetracycline have, in fact, completely healed seven cysts in North America alone, though reports can not be confirmed; monocycline is reputed to be 97% effective, though side effects include schizophrenia and bipolar disorder; accutane, hailed as a miracle drug by some, is 90% effective, with a 98% remission rate within twenty minutes of completion of the seventh course of treatment, side effects can be severe and may cause one’s liver to spontaneously combust, and one’s skin to melt in temperatures exceeding -40 centigrade.

LIFESTYLE tips: Exercise can alleviate the symptoms of acne, though outdoor activities in tropical or non-tropical climates are to be avoided; sweating is cleansing and can help unclog pores, though sweating must not exceed 180 seconds, nor be less than three minutes, or whichever comes first; meditation and positive affirmation of one’s self are healing and are to be encouraged, but are to be done indoors, so as to avoid damaging u.v. rays, though should not be done away from direct sunlight; liver cleansings are to be encouraged: one should avoid food for six months or one half-year period, or whichever is shorter, this should be followed by the consumption cold of fresh-pressed olive oil made by union labor; improper diet has, in fact, been known to cause acne, it has also been known to not cause acne: in order to determine whether diet affects the individual case, a careful dietary log is recommended; some studies indicate that improper diet will cause an immediate outbreak of acne vulgaris, other studies note that an acne outbreak can occur up to three weeks after the consumption of acne-causing agents: it is best to neither eat nor drink during this period, but to allow one’s alpha and beta waves to slip to comatose levels.

This concise and carefully controlled study will probably help you, or maybe not, as acne varies with the individual. At the time of publication, there has been encouraging signs in the fields of animal sacrifice and astrology. A follow-up report is forthcoming.  http://clearskin.net/viewtopic.php?p=50597#50597

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol.gif

Luv it!!! Acne skin probs are sooo multifactored-destress and have a snickers or if ya are stressed rein in the junk cravings.

Then wash counter clockwise with pure. organic koko fruit extract only available in the remotest 4th world countries where acne does not exist and rainbows abound.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm, probably the best thing written on any acne board I've seen(I think I even got a jab in there at the end with the brainwave/mind over matter remark). Funny stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hmm, probably the best thing written on any acne board I've seen(I think I even got a jab in there at the end with the brainwave/mind over matter remark). Funny stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really get your intention. Are you saying that I'm rude or that I look up to Benkweller? If you want an idea of my alternative stance go look up my innertalk/binaural beat posts. I never used any meds, instead opting for things like manuka oil and papaya soap, etc... There are some things, though, that I'm not convinced about and if Ben happens to share the same stance with me than fine, but I've never verbally attacked someone here, ever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That was really funny, Sweet Jade. At first I thought it was for real! redface.gif

There's a difference between being simply disagreeable and being rude. Although you have both, and that we certainly do not encourage you to always look up to BenKweller, you could negate properly next time, at the very least. Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lol.gif

Luv it!!! Acne skin probs are sooo multifactored-destress and have a snickers or if ya are stressed rein in the junk cravings.

Then wash counter clockwise with pure. organic koko fruit extract only available in the remotest 4th world countries where acne does not exist and rainbows abound.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sj, i couldn't find the old diet thread, oh well, we can make this the new one..

anyway, my chin is still not doing great, still inflamed and breakouts...maybe that's because i haven't completely cut on dairy and wheat, it's just i don't know any other stuff i could substitute it with...i also got some white tea since its very high in anti oxidants.i also read that blackberries and cranberries are good for acne cause they're on the low glycemic index and are also quite high in anti oxidants, so went out to get them as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×