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hey guys, i know its xmas, and a merry one to everyone..and its a shame that id consider bitching and moaning on such a holiday, but..i need to vent. if you havnt guessed from the title of this, yeah, its about parents. long story short, im at this precocious age of 17 when all i want is to finish bloody high school and move the hell out. ive been having major conflicts w/ my father, and surprisingly enough, they stemmed from acne. when i started breaking out really badly in late july early august, i got really down on myself. i was upset all the time, feeling like complete shit; my moderate turned mild turned moderate again acne had flared big time, id just gotten over mono; now i wanted accutane. my father never understood why i was upset; just told me that i shouldnt be so superficial and that i had to accept it as part of me and that "it would go where it came". i didnt want to accept it, as you guys all know, it hurts, physically and emotionally, ive never felt like such shit about myself. and he just completely dismissed it, cause hell, nobodys problems but his own matter (character flaw, he is like that). anyways, like i said, i wanted accutane. i fought and fought w/ my mother to get it, she was terrified (hypochondriac) to let me on it, was afraid itd mess w/ my head and body. but im a stubborn ass, and of course i never gave up; i ran out, antagonized, did what i had to do to get her to realize that i had to do something about my face, and something drastic like accutane. finally, i got it, but my relationship with my fathers gone hugely downhill, and at this point, i want nothing more to leave; here and now, just pick up and go. and yet i cant, because he's the one that makes all the money, he's the one thats in control of my university funds, its ridiculous. i just cant wait to get out there on my own and not have to deal with his bs, cause im never going to see it his way and im always going to stand up to him for what i believe is the truth (i have instigated and reciprocated a shitload of huge scream-fests over this). anyways, im just ranting on, but..you guys are generally understanding, any similar stories and advice, words of wisdom, whatever, would be much appreciated. thanks all, merry christmas and happy new year! - lisa

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Guest Brandon

What I've learned in life, Lisa, is that opinions are like assholes...everybody's got one. I've had my share of scream-fests with my parents on several ocassions that included running out and just driving far away. Got into a bad situation with some gangstas and crackheads, and realized that I can't make it out on my own anytime soon and I'd just have to accept the current situation and learn to get along with my parents somehow, but that doesn't mean that you can't learn from it. Everything in life is a lesson. Acne and depression help build character and put things into a different perspective. It gives you sympathy for others in similar situations. Anyways, I think your father will never see it on your level and you're going to have to try and live on his terms for the time being. Don't damage your relationship with him though, because in the future you would regret it. Or you could try to relate to him with something else, to build a strong relationship so that he might ease up on the touchy issues with you. I hope that made sense, but I'm buzzed and just letting my fingers fly.

Merry Christmas!

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avelon, thats very true..i never thought about it that way, but youre right, power is a manipulation. thats an interesting and functional way to rationalize it..and its made me reconsider the "helpless" feeling; perhaps im not as helpless as i feel. the general conclusion ive reached is that i just need to bide my time, hang in, and then do what i need to so that i can acheive my goals, especially educational at this point. thx for the input. - Lisa

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yeh, I agree with avelon.

Please, try to resist the depression, you don't wanna go down that route.

Byz and goodluck

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punkrockprincess, you may want to consider fighting fire with water rather than ranting to your parents. It is better to respect your father even though it may seem unfair at times. I hate to use the expression and please excuse me for doing so, but you must learn to "kiss tail" until you are independent and can support yourself on your own, which, mind you, is not 18. Open yourself to your father and listen to what he has to say, but also make your opinion known to him in a fashion which is polite, persuasive, and friendly. If he disagrees try compromising. If you attack your father in his mind he has already decided that he wants to win and the chances of you getting what you want are slim to none.

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