I'm supremely suicidal man. These are supposed to be my prime years of life. Being a young adult, just living my life, enjoying while I still can! But here I am curled up in my room, just eating, sleeping and being depressed. My brain fog is massive from all this depression and the self loath I absorb every time I catch my own reflection. Its hard being optimistic man. I'm legit facially deformed. Acne and these scars took away my high school, my college, everything. I've missed out on normal teenage experience because of this. I'm not normal. I'm supposed to work for the rest of my life with holes on my face? Why?
Every other situation or problem in life has a solution, with enough work and focus, chances are you can make it out just right, and move on with life. But this? Dealing with acne alone was painful, but I have to have this lifelong reminder on my face? For the rest of my life? Why? There's no cure for this, what we're looking at realistically is just minor improvement after spending TONS of cash. This money could've been used on travelling etc, partying, investing, or thousand other productive purposes. But I'm spending thousands just to barely look normal. My social anxiety is through the roof. I'm suffering. Every minute I'm awake, my brain is enveloped by depression about being facially disfigured. I'm 21 y/o and I've never even asked a girl out. Why? What's the point? An average man doesn't have holes on his face, I'm automatically below average. What's the point of exercising? Grooming? Being fit? What's the point of doing anything when at the end of the day my face looks like a homeless person attacked me with a fucking fork man. I suffered so much on isotretinoin, intense side effects. 120mg/day for 9 months. All for what? This grim reminder? I don't feel like a human at all man. At best, I feel like everyone's living their life and I'm watching from the side-lines. What did I do to deserve this? Everybody gets 1 shot at life, and this is what I deal with? Why? Just kill me.
I've totally shunned everyone. I'm talking about my friends, they have normal problems to worry about. Nobody can even relate or understand the misery I'm constantly in. I would rather have Stage 4 cancer. At least people would be compassionate about it. Nobody truly knows how crippling this is unless someone has suffered this.
My trajectory of life, everything is totally shunned, and I can't help but have deep resentment and bitterness towards my parents for not taking me to a dermatologist when I started breaking out into massive cysts. I took myself to a dermatologist when I turned 18. But it was too late. My ideal self, died man. I'm just a hollow shell who is too chicken to take myself out of my misery. I don't even have motivation to work at my career, or do anything productive. I'm just a depressed parasite who is facially disfigured, rotting in his room until death puts me out of my misery.
7 hours ago, NagarNikku_ said:I'm supremely suicidal man. These are supposed to be my prime years of life. Being a young adult, just living my life, enjoying while I still can! But here I am curled up in my room, just eating, sleeping and being depressed. My brain fog is massive from all this depression and the self loath I absorb every time I catch my own reflection. Its hard being optimistic man. I'm legit facially deformed. Acne and these scars took away my high school, my college, everything. I've missed out on normal teenage experience because of this. I'm not normal. I'm supposed to work for the rest of my life with holes on my face? Why?
Every other situation or problem in life has a solution, with enough work and focus, chances are you can make it out just right, and move on with life. But this? Dealing with acne alone was painful, but I have to have this lifelong reminder on my face? For the rest of my life? Why? There's no cure for this, what we're looking at realistically is just minor improvement after spending TONS of cash. This money could've been used on travelling etc, partying, investing, or thousand other productive purposes. But I'm spending thousands just to barely look normal. My social anxiety is through the roof. I'm suffering. Every minute I'm awake, my brain is enveloped by depression about being facially disfigured. I'm 21 y/o and I've never even asked a girl out. Why? What's the point? An average man doesn't have holes on his face, I'm automatically below average. What's the point of exercising? Grooming? Being fit? What's the point of doing anything when at the end of the day my face looks like a homeless person attacked me with a fucking fork man. I suffered so much on isotretinoin, intense side effects. 120mg/day for 9 months. All for what? This grim reminder? I don't feel like a human at all man. At best, I feel like everyone's living their life and I'm watching from the side-lines. What did I do to deserve this? Everybody gets 1 shot at life, and this is what I deal with? Why? Just kill me.
I've totally shunned everyone. I'm talking about my friends, they have normal problems to worry about. Nobody can even relate or understand the misery I'm constantly in. I would rather have Stage 4 cancer. At least people would be compassionate about it. Nobody truly knows how crippling this is unless someone has suffered this.
My trajectory of life, everything is totally shunned, and I can't help but have deep resentment and bitterness towards my parents for not taking me to a dermatologist when I started breaking out into massive cysts. I took myself to a dermatologist when I turned 18. But it was too late. My ideal self, died man. I'm just a hollow shell who is too chicken to take myself out of my misery. I don't even have motivation to work at my career, or do anything productive. I'm just a depressed parasite who is facially disfigured, rotting in his room until death puts me out of my misery.
Hey man I know you think your scars are bad/severe. But honestly their no where near bad. You posted your scars in another thread and the first thing I thought was thats notsevere. Honestly from an outside view, I wouldnt have even noticed.
I know it hard cause I deal with same thing. I have mild/moderate scars but I use to think of it as severe.. I was later diagnosed with BDD which essentially is that you think something is worse than it it is. Take it easy on yourself.
It's really unfortunate to hear stories like yours because we all understand the severity of scars. The emotional affliction is like nothing "normal" people can understand. Trust me when I tell you that I've been there. I wasted years not going out because I had an outbreak, got treatment, and was healing from scars. Some have it worse than others but we're pretty much all in the same boat.
The really good news is that you are 21. There are solutions. It took me half a decade to realize that the excision mark on my face could be improved drastically. I intended to getlaser treatment for other areas (due to a bad microneedling result) but, of course, the doctor went over all of my scarred areas. The excision mark looks MUCH smoother. I knew from the beginning it would never be gone, but it's at the point where it's hard to see unless you have perfect lighting and someone looking right under my face.
Research Cross and other techniques. The process of improvement could take years but it may pay off. Some users have reported really good results with the only bad being time/commitment.
Good luck! There are lots of people who can provide guidance and advice so please reach out.
2 hours ago, Amanda Hall said:It's really unfortunate to hear stories like yours because we all understand the severity of scars. The emotional affliction is like nothing "normal" people can understand. Trust me when I tell you that I've been there. I wasted years not going out because I had an outbreak, got treatment, and was healing from scars. Some have it worse than others but we're pretty much all in the same boat.
The really good news is that you are 21. There are solutions. It took me half a decade to realize that the excision mark on my face could be improved drastically. I intended to getlaser treatment for other areas (due to a bad microneedling result) but, of course, the doctor went over all of my scarred areas. The excision mark looks MUCH smoother. I knew from the beginning it would never be gone, but it's at the point where it's hard to see unless you have perfect lighting and someone looking right under my face.
Research Cross and other techniques. The process of improvement could take years but it may pay off. Some users have reported really good results with the only bad being time/commitment.
Good luck! There are lots of people who can provide guidance and advice so please reach out.
I also did a microneedling procedure which left me worse off and scars that I never had beforehand in the form of enlarged pores, loss of plumpiness in my cheek, small microneedling dot marks and hyperpigmentation.I've spoke to a specialist about itand he reccomended C02 fraxel laser Firstly were your scars from microneedling of a similar or different nature? Secondly were there any procedures that helped alleviate these said scars caused by microneedling
Thanks.
16 hours ago, NagarNikku_ said:I'm supremely suicidal man. These are supposed to be my prime years of life. Being a young adult, just living my life, enjoying while I still can! But here I am curled up in my room, just eating, sleeping and being depressed. My brain fog is massive from all this depression and the self loath I absorb every time I catch my own reflection. Its hard being optimistic man. I'm legit facially deformed. Acne and these scars took away my high school, my college, everything. I've missed out on normal teenage experience because of this. I'm not normal. I'm supposed to work for the rest of my life with holes on my face? Why?
Every other situation or problem in life has a solution, with enough work and focus, chances are you can make it out just right, and move on with life. But this? Dealing with acne alone was painful, but I have to have this lifelong reminder on my face? For the rest of my life? Why? There's no cure for this, what we're looking at realistically is just minor improvement after spending TONS of cash. This money could've been used on travelling etc, partying, investing, or thousand other productive purposes. But I'm spending thousands just to barely look normal. My social anxiety is through the roof. I'm suffering. Every minute I'm awake, my brain is enveloped by depression about being facially disfigured. I'm 21 y/o and I've never even asked a girl out. Why? What's the point? An average man doesn't have holes on his face, I'm automatically below average. What's the point of exercising? Grooming? Being fit? What's the point of doing anything when at the end of the day my face looks like a homeless person attacked me with a fucking fork man. I suffered so much on isotretinoin, intense side effects. 120mg/day for 9 months. All for what? This grim reminder? I don't feel like a human at all man. At best, I feel like everyone's living their life and I'm watching from the side-lines. What did I do to deserve this? Everybody gets 1 shot at life, and this is what I deal with? Why? Just kill me.
I've totally shunned everyone. I'm talking about my friends, they have normal problems to worry about. Nobody can even relate or understand the misery I'm constantly in. I would rather have Stage 4 cancer. At least people would be compassionate about it. Nobody truly knows how crippling this is unless someone has suffered this.
My trajectory of life, everything is totally shunned, and I can't help but have deep resentment and bitterness towards my parents for not taking me to a dermatologist when I started breaking out into massive cysts. I took myself to a dermatologist when I turned 18. But it was too late. My ideal self, died man. I'm just a hollow shell who is too chicken to take myself out of my misery. I don't even have motivation to work at my career, or do anything productive. I'm just a depressed parasite who is facially disfigured, rotting in his room until death puts me out of my misery.
Honestly , I've been there and done that. I was suicidal as well, for real and my skin also brought me into the lowest point in my life.
I know its extremely hard but you've got to adopt a positive and optimistic mindset/outlook on life and just remind yourself that you'll come out stronger even though it feels like your suffering will never end. There's really no other way around it to be honest. Also , if you really want to make an improvement in your appearance , you should at least make an effort to get some procedures done after doing your homework and research beforehand. Even if it doesn't go as expected, you know at least that you've tried and that will feel empowering over a situation which felt completely out of your control for the longest while.
Seeing a psychologist also really helps for your mental healthas it gives you someone to objectively look at your problem and give advice/insight into your thinking etc.
Stay strong and I wish you the best man <3
20 hours ago, NagarNikku_ said:I'm supremely suicidal man. These are supposed to be my prime years of life. Being a young adult, just living my life, enjoying while I still can! But here I am curled up in my room, just eating, sleeping and being depressed. My brain fog is massive from all this depression and the self loath I absorb every time I catch my own reflection. Its hard being optimistic man. I'm legit facially deformed. Acne and these scars took away my high school, my college, everything. I've missed out on normal teenage experience because of this. I'm not normal. I'm supposed to work for the rest of my life with holes on my face? Why?
Every other situation or problem in life has a solution, with enough work and focus, chances are you can make it out just right, and move on with life. But this? Dealing with acne alone was painful, but I have to have this lifelong reminder on my face? For the rest of my life? Why? There's no cure for this, what we're looking at realistically is just minor improvement after spending TONS of cash. This money could've been used on travelling etc, partying, investing, or thousand other productive purposes. But I'm spending thousands just to barely look normal. My social anxiety is through the roof. I'm suffering. Every minute I'm awake, my brain is enveloped by depression about being facially disfigured. I'm 21 y/o and I've never even asked a girl out. Why? What's the point? An average man doesn't have holes on his face, I'm automatically below average. What's the point of exercising? Grooming? Being fit? What's the point of doing anything when at the end of the day my face looks like a homeless person attacked me with a fucking fork man. I suffered so much on isotretinoin, intense side effects. 120mg/day for 9 months. All for what? This grim reminder? I don't feel like a human at all man. At best, I feel like everyone's living their life and I'm watching from the side-lines. What did I do to deserve this? Everybody gets 1 shot at life, and this is what I deal with? Why? Just kill me.
I've totally shunned everyone. I'm talking about my friends, they have normal problems to worry about. Nobody can even relate or understand the misery I'm constantly in. I would rather have Stage 4 cancer. At least people would be compassionate about it. Nobody truly knows how crippling this is unless someone has suffered this.
My trajectory of life, everything is totally shunned, and I can't help but have deep resentment and bitterness towards my parents for not taking me to a dermatologist when I started breaking out into massive cysts. I took myself to a dermatologist when I turned 18. But it was too late. My ideal self, died man. I'm just a hollow shell who is too chicken to take myself out of my misery. I don't even have motivation to work at my career, or do anything productive. I'm just a depressed parasite who is facially disfigured, rotting in his room until death puts me out of my misery.
Extremely relatable, I feel the exact same way in everything you said. It's just frustrating and no one can never understand until they go through it, people who say it's not that severe and I'm sure no one will notice are most of the times hypocrites because they have no holes in their faces or anything deforming their face, but god forbid if something is wrong with their little finger they'll be the first ones to complain
On 7/7/2021 at 9:06 AM, NagarNikku_ said:I'm supremely suicidal man. These are supposed to be my prime years of life. Being a young adult, just living my life, enjoying while I still can! But here I am curled up in my room, just eating, sleeping and being depressed. My brain fog is massive from all this depression and the self loath I absorb every time I catch my own reflection. Its hard being optimistic man. I'm legit facially deformed. Acne and these scars took away my high school, my college, everything. I've missed out on normal teenage experience because of this. I'm not normal. I'm supposed to work for the rest of my life with holes on my face? Why?
Every other situation or problem in life has a solution, with enough work and focus, chances are you can make it out just right, and move on with life. But this? Dealing with acne alone was painful, but I have to have this lifelong reminder on my face? For the rest of my life? Why? There's no cure for this, what we're looking at realistically is just minor improvement after spending TONS of cash. This money could've been used on travelling etc, partying, investing, or thousand other productive purposes. But I'm spending thousands just to barely look normal. My social anxiety is through the roof. I'm suffering. Every minute I'm awake, my brain is enveloped by depression about being facially disfigured. I'm 21 y/o and I've never even asked a girl out. Why? What's the point? An average man doesn't have holes on his face, I'm automatically below average. What's the point of exercising? Grooming? Being fit? What's the point of doing anything when at the end of the day my face looks like a homeless person attacked me with a fucking fork man. I suffered so much on isotretinoin, intense side effects. 120mg/day for 9 months. All for what? This grim reminder? I don't feel like a human at all man. At best, I feel like everyone's living their life and I'm watching from the side-lines. What did I do to deserve this? Everybody gets 1 shot at life, and this is what I deal with? Why? Just kill me.
I've totally shunned everyone. I'm talking about my friends, they have normal problems to worry about. Nobody can even relate or understand the misery I'm constantly in. I would rather have Stage 4 cancer. At least people would be compassionate about it. Nobody truly knows how crippling this is unless someone has suffered this.
My trajectory of life, everything is totally shunned, and I can't help but have deep resentment and bitterness towards my parents for not taking me to a dermatologist when I started breaking out into massive cysts. I took myself to a dermatologist when I turned 18. But it was too late. My ideal self, died man. I'm just a hollow shell who is too chicken to take myself out of my misery. I don't even have motivation to work at my career, or do anything productive. I'm just a depressed parasite who is facially disfigured, rotting in his room until death puts me out of my misery.
Here is the thing this is an honest opinion. Since you dont have severe acne scars start using makeup. I get it you want that flawless look and that is what makeup can give you. If life isnt fair then you dont need to play by the rules of the game. I know ideally we would not want to use makeup as men but like I said when life isnt fair then f**kthe rules.
Also from treatment goto some dermatologist that could do tca cross for tiny ice pick scars on nose that should lift up. I have seen it works.
another dating advise I would give is put yourself out there win or loss is fine. Since you are not trying anyways the result is zero even if you get rejected but if you win then you won without issues, but again put yourself out there. If you can learn to accept rejection that is the key to anything. Everyone gets rejected even with perfect skin, but we naturally tend to blame of our skin deformities for our failure in case of us.
I am sorry but are you an idiot or what? I saw your pics - youlook good, minor scarring, no one ever going to complain about it, what'sthe point to make such a big drama? You are looking for compliments? If you think that your skin looks like being attacked with fork - go seea therapist. Prefer stage 4 cancer? you have problems but its not about skin
On 7/14/2021 at 2:22 AM, Candy Says said:I am sorry but are you an idiot or what? I saw your pics - youlook good, minor scarring, no one ever going to complain about it, what'sthe point to make such a big drama? You are looking for compliments? If you think that your skin looks like being attacked with fork - go seea therapist. Prefer stage 4 cancer? you have problems but its not about skin
Wow thanks I'm cured.
Cant believe they can do this to a burn victim 
and yet they cannot even make a MARGINAL bit of improvement to acne scars. wtf. You see ont hese forums, people spend 30k over 5 years, and their scars go from a 8 out of 10 to a 7.5. Half the time the laser and treatments create more scarring or damage that makes it worse.
I cannot BELIEVE that people are making similar posts about the problem of scarring from 2005, and yet dumbf doctors never gave me accutane until I was already 25. Only antibiotics over and over again from 14+ and them telling me to f off all because there is a 1 in 100000000000000000000000000000 chance that you might get a bit sad and we can't have that, we need productive wage slaves.
I relate to all of this. To those who are severely depressed, I suggest medication and therapy. I was anti-meds for a long time to help with my mental health related to my acne scarring, but was at a very, very low point where I wasn't eating or sleeping - was making myself literally sick over the anxiety and self-blame (had a terribly botched acne scar excision). I should have just lived with the ice pick scar - would do over to just have that back compared to a big gash on my face. Anyway, I digress...anti-depressants (Zoloft) has helped some. I still have good days and bad days. I look at the mirror way too much being sad and disappointed by my scarred face.
And to the burn victim posted and the amazing work, I feel you about that. I have looked up MOHs surgery for those who had holes in their face from skin cancer excisions and most (of course online) look 10 x better than my excision on my cheek for my ice pick scar. How can they turn out so well and in some cases you cannot even see it afterwards and yet mine and many of ours seem almost unmanageable. I am almost wondering if I do a full skin graft like in skin cancer MOHs surgery - to smooth out the uneven skin.
Why is this so bloody hard to conquer? We all had to deal with the acne itself and trying to find out what works and then now trying to deal with the aftermath - the scarring. And the mental health issues...the obsessing... no one with normal skin obsesses this much about their skin - it is a non issue - a splash of soap and water and they are off. The cruel joke of my life is that my mother has flawless skin and is over 70 years old, sleeps in makeup all the time, drinks like a fish, and her skin looks perfect. She has never understood me and my skin struggles. I got my dad's skin (he got me), thought I was smart and that mattered I suppose more than how one looks - right?
I know that we all have a 'cross' to bear, but the acne/acne scarring just seems most days something that is so in your face, ever present to deal with...and nothing seems to work to really fix it. Or do we just simply accept it?